“James, can’t you at least try to see things differently?” Lily tried again, for what felt like the millionth time.
“No, Evans! There cannot be another explanation! Snape did something to him! He got to him somehow, he was only a child then, Snape could have easily got to him!” James insisted stubbornly. Lily was growing very weary of this conversation. It wasn’t the first time they’d had it.
“James, there can be a thousand other explanations and each and every one make more sense than that!” Lily said tiredly. She couldn’t help but wonder why she bothered. She knew very well it was the only explanation James could live with. Even he knew it made no sense.
“We don’t know everything that has happened during the last 35 years, James. Is it so impossible that Snape actually changed somewhere along the line?” she continued.
“Yes it is! Snape is an evil git, a Death Eater “ he killed Peter for crying out loud!” James almost screamed, absolutely refusing to see reason. “He brainwashed Harry! He must have! Our son would not let a murderer walk around like that if he was not under some sort of spell!”
“And I suppose Remus is under that spell? And Ginny? Or Professor McGonagall perhaps? James it makes no sense “ you have to see that!” Lily reasoned.
“I don’t know! Maybe they don’t know!” James tried desperately to convince himself. “There is no other explanation!” he added, probably more for his own conviction than Lily’s. “Our son would not voluntarily choose Snape over us! He just wouldn’t!” Lily sighed. She knew where this conversation would go. It had ended in the same way every time they’d had it. She knew it was no use. Still, she could not let it go. The idea was preposterous. Harry was the one who beat Voldemort; he wouldn’t just allow someone to control his mind. Besides, Harry was not the only one to place faith in Snape. Professor McGonagall seemed involved with everything Harry and Snape did, and Harry regularly discussed what was going on with Ginny and Remus. It just made no sense that all of them would be under some spell.
“James,” she said softly, trying to calm him down. “Any number of things could have happened during the last 35 years,” she started, careful not to mention her suspicions about Peter. She’d made the mistake of hinting at that possibility once in the past week and was not prepared to do it again. James had gone berserk and refused to talk to her for several hours until she finally managed to persuade him that she never meant it.
“Maybe Snape turned a new leaf somewhere? Maybe Voldemort did something to him? He wasn’t a nice man; he probably tortured those on his side as well as others. Maybe Snape changed sides? Can’t you just admit that we don’t know?” she continued, knowing that James would not listen. He could not live with the idea that his son voluntarily chose to trust Snape. That he voluntarily chose not to report the fact that he was a Death Eater, that he had killed Peter. So he blamed everything on Snape. Snape had been Harry’s Potions teacher “ he had given him something, or put a spell on him “ anything that could explain why Harry acted the way he did, as long as that explanation did not entail Harry actively choosing to do so.
After trying for a while longer, she finally gave up when Harry got up and headed out of the Great Hall. It would be no use to go on. James would never openly admit that there could be other explanations “ even when he knew that his own explanations were unreasonable. He needed them too much. He needed to believe they were true, even when his mind and logic told him otherwise.
They followed Harry to his classroom and waited there while Harry went down to his office to retrieve the stack of essays on mountain trolls that he had been correcting the day before. He then went and opened the door to let the Gryffindor first years enter the classroom.
James and Lily noticed the empty chair even before Harry asked.
“Where is Miss Archer?” Harry let his eyes wander between the students waiting for a reply. No one seemed willing to answer, hinting to James and Lily that where ever Cassandra was, it was somewhere she shouldn’t be.
“Miss Weasley? Where is Miss Archer today?” Harry repeated turning to Belinda.
“The girls’ bathroom, I think,” Belinda answered hesitantly, as if she didn’t want to answer.
“And what is she doing there?” Harry asked. Belinda turned in her chair, clearly uncomfortable.
“Crying,” she then said.
“Crying?” Harry repeated looking still at Belinda. It was Miss Shaw who finally helped Belinda out.
“She is crying because we had Potions!” she said. Harry looked at her for a second, before he took a deep breath.
“I see!” he said with a sigh. “Well then, we’d better get on with the lesson, hopefully Miss Archer will choose to join us eventually,” he finished and started handing out their essays.
Cassandra did not come for the rest of the lesson, in spite of it being a double one, and James and Lily couldn’t help but to wonder what could have happened in Potions to get her that upset. Sure, Snape could be mean and sarcastic, and he had made Cassandra cry before, but to miss a two hour long class was still a very big thing.
Harry had obviously thought along the same lines, because when the lesson was over he called Belinda to his desk to talk to her.
“Belinda, what happened in Potions to get Cassandra upset?” he asked when the rest of the class had left the classroom. Belinda still looked uncomfortable talking about the matter. “Belinda, look at me! I’m not asking as your teacher wondering why she wasn’t in class, I’m asking as your Head of House wondering if she will be alright,” he added making Belinda smile at her uncle.
“I know that Uncle Harry, it’s just…I promised not to say anything!” she said.
“I understand. But don’t you think she would want you to tell if it would make her feel better?” Harry asked. Belinda seemed to think for a while before she decided.
“Well basically, Snape caught Cassie making a mistake with her potion, so he made her drink it and she kind of grew these weird looking things in her face, and everybody laughed at her. Then Snape made things worse by lashing out at her and saying that she was worthless at potions, and that it was a complete waste of time trying to teach her and that he was amazed that she was even accepted to Hogwarts in the first place,” she said. Harry sighed and beckoned her to go on. “Then when she started crying he said that the sorting hat must’ve made a mistake putting her in Gryffindor and gave her detention,” she then finished.
“I see,” said Harry with a sigh. “Why don’t you go and see if Cassandra needs you. I’ll be up to check on her later this evening, before I go home, alright?” Belinda nodded and then left the classroom. Looking at the closed door, Harry shook his head before he took the new homework assignments to be corrected and went to put them on his desk. He then got back up, left the classroom and started walking toward the Great Hall and dinner.
To James’s and Lily’s surprise though, he did not enter the Great Hall when he reached it. Instead, he turned off and started walking down to the dungeons. Curious, Lily started to follow, grabbing James by the arm to make sure that he would come. Just as she suspected, James was not at all thrilled with the idea. He had been refusing to come near Snape since the last encounter between him and Harry. In fact, it had taken Lily some persuasion before she managed to get him in the same room as Harry again. The first two days, James had only been close to Harry when the girls or Sirius were around, and it took another few days before James had agreed to stay in the room with Harry even if no one else was there.
Harry walked fast as he closed in on Snape’s office, and like Snape had done in his visit one week ago, he walked right in without knocking. Snape, however, did not seem as prepared for the visit as Harry had been, nor did he seem pleased with it.
“What are you doing here?” he sneered viciously.
“I need to have a word with you, Severus,” Harry answered with constraint.
“And you could not wait until the staff meeting tonight?” Snape sneered again. “Or is it beneath the great Potter to wait like everyone else?”
“I did not want to wait, no! And when you hear what I have come to say I doubt you would have wanted me to,” Harry answered plainly. Snape, however, did not seem convinced. He snorted in disgust as he stood up from his chair and walked out from behind his desk. Watching the loathing between the men, Lily was certain that James’s wild theories made no sense. This was not the way you looked at someone you were controlling, nor the way you looked at someone who was controlling you. Glancing at James, she could see that he knew this too, even as she knew that he would never admit it.
“What ever it is you have to say, I am sure that I would not mind waiting, or even better, be spared all together. And that is even without taking into account that I once told you in no uncertain terms not to set foot in my office again.” Snape said, narrowing his eyes into thin strips as he looked at Harry.
“Oh, give it up, Severus! I’ve been in your office many times since then!” Harry snapped impatiently. “And whether you want to hear what I have to say or not “ I will be heard!”
“Well then get on with it and stop wasting my time!” Snape snapped back at him, crossing his arms in front of him.
“Very well, it is about what transpired between you and Miss Archer in your class today,” Harry began.
“And why would anything in my class be a concern of yours?” Snape snapped again.
“Normally “ not at all. I may not like your methods, but they are yours and you have a right to teach in whatever way you choose…”
“Then I do not understand what you are doing here in the first place!”
“What you did today had nothing to do with teaching and everything to do with bullying. While I may not be concerned with the way you teach, I am very concerned when one of my students is being bullied,” Harry retorted.
“I did what was necessary to ensure that she does not make the mistake of being careless again. Besides I did not say anything to that girl that was not true! She is worthless in this class, and it is a huge waste of time trying to teach her “ just as it was a waste of time trying to teach her mother! Of course it probably does not help that her father is a Muggle.” Snape spat in disgust, which earned him a disdainful snort from Harry.
“Miss Archer’s father being a muggle has nothing to do with this! Some of the brightest students in this school are muggle born or half-blood, but then you already know that!” snapped Harry.
“Well Miss Archer is certainly not one of those students. She has managed to learn nothing during the past few moths.” Snape said.
“Well you might want to consider that she is not learning anything because you are constantly telling her that she can’t, not to mention probably scaring the living daylights out of the girl!” Harry answered, his annoyance clear.
“See it as you wish, it does not alter the fact that she does not learn! Besides, what goes on in my classroom is none of your business!” Snape stated plainly.
“When a student does not show up for my class because she has locked herself up in the girls’ bathroom to cry, it becomes my business!” Harry responded.
“Then I would say you have a problem with the girl breaking the school rules and skipping classes. Take it up with her and do not bother me with this nonsense!” Snape said decisively and moved back behind his desk to continue his grading.
Harry didn’t respond. He stood quietly and looked at Snape attacking the stack of papers in front of him.
“Was there anything else?” Snape asked, annoyed, without even looking up from his papers.
“How can you do the things you do to your students, knowing what you do?” Harry asked slowly, causing Snape to look up just a bit too quickly, his eyes cold and threatening as he fixed them at Harry. “You know first hand what it’s like to be the subject of ridicule and humiliation. How can you subject another human being “ a child nonetheless “ to the same treatment you were subjected to?” The quiet in the room was deafening when Harry stopped talking. Snape stared at him for a long time, his nostrils flaring just a bit as he put his quill down. When he spoke, his voice was no more that a whisper.
“I told you never to speak about that!” he hissed. Lily glanced over at James, now at full attention. She did not have to wonder what he was thinking about. If Harry was talking about Snape being bullied there was only really one thing he could be talking about. The question was how on earth he knew. Surely Snape wouldn’t have told him? She thought. Or would he?
“I wouldn’t have to speak about it if you didn’t bully my students!” Harry responded.
“Your students now I see! Potter arrogance at its finest,” Snape spat between gritted teeth. “But then you always did have an exaggerated image of your own importance, much like that arrogant git that was your father.”
“I am not my father, Severus! I have never, nor would I ever, treat anyone the way he treated you, and you bloody well know it!” Harry answered, clearly annoyed. Lily and James stared at their son. In spite of everything that had happened over the course of the last few days, neither one of them would have expected Harry to say something like that.
“Saint Potter, the saviour of the world speaking here, I see!” Snape snorted disdainfully. “You may not have resorted to the same low behaviour as your father, but you are just as arrogant and full of yourself as he ever was!” Snape’s voice dripped with hatred and resentment when he spoke, and James would probably have laughed at his inability to get over the past if it hadn’t been for the dark look on Harry’s face.
“If you don’t want to forgive my father for what he did, fine “ seeing how I have never forgiven you, I can’t blame you for that. If you want to live your life hating my father, go ahead “ do that too, I can’t really blame you for that either. But whatever you do, don’t confuse me with my father’s actions. I wasn’t the one to hang you upside-down for the entire school to see,” Harry said slowly, almost spitting out the words. James swallowed. He felt nauseous, out of breath, like someone had punched him hard in the gut. Thoughts kept spinning through his mind and he could feel the colour drain from his face. The last few days while he had thought of every possible and impossible explanation for why Harry would rather trust Snape than him, this hadn’t even crossed his mind.
“Done yet?” Snape hissed maliciously, his fists clenching as he struggled to maintain control. Lily wondered if he ever looked more threatening than he did right now, yet she couldn’t really blame him. She remembered the incident Harry was talking about far too well. She hadn’t been impressed with James’s actions that day. In fact, she had despised him for what he had done. If he hadn’t changed, hadn’t matured, she would surely never have fallen in love with him, let alone married him. When she looked over at James she saw him close his eyes. His breathing was rapid and shallow and she couldn’t help but worry more how all this affected him, than how the memory affected Snape.
“No I’m not done!” Harry snapped, bringing her attention back to the present. “I’ve been in the same situations my father put you in. I know what if feels like! But I unlike you, I learned from them! I am not the bully in this room, Severus “ you are! Are you even aware of the fact that at least one student every year has you as his or her greatest fear?” Harry asked angrily, making Lily’s stomach twitch at the reminder of her son’s gruesome childhood. No wonder he sided with Snape on this one, she thought, wondering how horrible Harry mustn’t have felt when he found out about his father’s actions.
“Something I am sure you find very amusing in your yearly boggart lessons, compliments to Lupin of course for giving you the idea,” Snape commented “ a comment that would normally never have passed James by unnoticed, but that at the moment, he hardly heard.
“Not that it isn’t amusing seeing you with an elephant’s trunk or women’s clothing or what ever else the students can come up with, but I would still prefer if I didn’t see you at all in those lessons, Severus. The charm vanishes fairly fast when you think of the reason they have you as their greatest fear in the first place,” Harry responded calmly.
“Maybe because they are as weak as they are stupid and worthless?” Snape suggested sarcastically.
“Or maybe it’s because of the way you treat them!” Harry threw back at him. “You see, when you go after my children, my niece or my nephew “ it’s bad, but at least they can take it. Knowing what to expect, we all made sure they would. But when you go after children like Cassandra Archer “ the ones that lack self-esteem, the ones that haven’t figured out their place in the wizarding world yet, the ones that can’t take it, then you are overstepping the boundaries, and I won’t allow it!”
“You won’t allow it?” Snape spat. “And what exactly are you suppose to do about it? How are you going to stop me from doing whatever I feel like doing in my classroom? As long as I’m not breaking any rules…”
“But see, you are breaking the rules!” Harry interrupted. “When you bully your students instead of teaching them, when you hinder rather than further their educations; then you are breaking the rules. And if you think for a second that I wouldn’t take it up at a staff meeting, or privately with Professor McGonagall, then you don’t know me as well as you think you do.” Harry said not turning away his gaze from Snape for a second.
“Fine, do that then! See where it gets you,” Snape responded calmly. “But before you do, you might want to consider that Headmistress McGonagall wouldn’t interfere with what goes on inside a classroom. I have known her a lot longer than you, Potter, and she values privacy and the right for a teacher to adopt his or her own methods,” he finished triumphantly.
“Oh I do know that, Severus.” Harry said crossing his arms in front of him. “But I also reckon that she wouldn’t take kindly to a teacher making a student drink a faulty, possibly dangerous, potion or telling her that she didn’t belong at Hogwarts.” Lily knew Harry had won the argument the moment she saw Snape’s lip curl and his eyes narrow to thin strips. Harry seemed to notice the same thing, because without saying another word he showed himself out and closed the door behind him. Lily pulled James with her and followed Harry back to the Great Hall, which he surprisingly enough passed for a second time. Apparently he’d decided to skip dinner today, Lily thought as she started to follow.
She stopped when James grabbed her arm and turned to look at her husband. He looked pale, tired and suddenly Lily didn’t care why her son wasn’t having dinner or what he was going to do. Slowly, she put her arms around James and held him. Even though a lot of the things Harry had said were based on the truth, on actions that she herself thought were less than admirable, that she thought were awful, at the time she also knew that there was so much more to her husband than the 15-year-old boy that hung a classmate upside down on the school grounds. She just hoped her son knew that too.