After Harry and Ginny left it didn’t take long for several of the other adults to do the same, and finally only those who were staying the night were still there. Bonnie was helping Molly in the kitchen, while the other adults moved into the living room for a cup of tea. The younger children were sent of to bed, to great protests from several of them, especially Christopher who didn’t find it at all fair that his brother and sisters were allowed to stay up later than him. The teenagers stayed outside talking and playing in the garden in the light of candles that Arthur lit around the entire garden.
James and Lily kept close to the girls, and when the girls after hours of fun went up to their room, James and Lily followed. The room was quite small and definitely in need of a paintjob. There were two beds in the room, one on either side of the wall with a nightstand in between them and a window looking out over the garden above them. Next to the door was a closet and on the back of the door itself an old mirror. The moment they entered the room Lily threw herself on the bed on the right, while Millie watched her with a faint smile on her lips.
“Tired?” she then said, still smiling.
“A bit,” Lily admitted. “A bet you aren’t though?”
“Of course I am,” said Millie now facing the mirror examining her reflection. “What’s that supposed to mean anyway?” she then asked as she turned around to face Lily.
“That you’re probably too excited to be tired, what with the way you and Eddy strutted around goggling each other all night,” grinned Lily and sat up on her bed.
“We were…I was …we were not goggling at each other!” Millie half shouted blushing very hard.
“Oh that is a great way to make sure he doesn’t know anything. You are aware that he is in the room right above us right?” Lily said mockingly causing Millie to go even redder than before.
“You’re…you’re absolutely…”
“Observant?” suggested Lily giggling.
“Awful!” finished Millie, even though she had evident problems with wiping out the smile playing in the corners of her mouth. She turned to once again examine herself in the mirror and sighed as the last traces of her smile vanished. Slowly she raised her hand and ran it through her long white-blond hair.
“I just wish…” she mumbled to her self.
“Wish what, Millie?” Lily said in a low voice, the mocking tone completely gone from her voice as she rose and stood behind Millie looking into the mirror with her.
“I wish I didn’t look so…” she frowned as she searched for the right word, “plain!” she then said.
“Millie, are you blind?” Lily asked surprisingly seriously. “Look at yourself, you are not plain! With that hair and those blue eyes of yours…you’re gorgeous, Millie! Anyone can see that!” James had to agree with her. Even at the tender age of 15 Millie was quite beautiful. Her long slim body fitted perfectly with her long shiny hair and her eyes were really something out of the ordinary. Surrounded by long thick eyelashes they were the same light blue shade as the sky on a really beautiful spring day when the air is high and crisp. No “ plain was definitely not the right word to describe her.
“Wow, blue eyes and blond hair “ really original. I only share it with half of the English population…No, I wish I…I wish I looked more like you “ exciting, interesting,” she sighed dully. Lily looked at her with concern, as if trying to figure out what was the right thing to say.
“Well, you might find that Eddy isn’t that huge fan of redheads…kind of signals family, you know. And the way he looks at you, well let’s just say that there is nothing remotely family-like about that,” she said with a smile and returned to her bed. Millie blushed and smiled lightly, but still didn’t look completely happy when she took a last glance in the mirror before heading over to her bed.
“I still wish I was a Potter,” she then said quietly.
“Well if that’s you’re wish then that’s easily fixed. All you have to do is choose,” Lily said in a very manner-of-fact voice. Millie looked up at her in surprise.
“Choose?” she asked hesitantly.
“Yes, choose! Sirius or Christopher “ so who’s going to be the lucky…” a pillow hit her face and knocked her on her back before she could finish the sentence. “Ouch…and here I always thought you preferred a Weasley name, but hey that’s ok, I can live with being wrong!” Lily continued giggling and laughing so hard she could barely speak.
“Oh, shut up!” giggled Millie back to her. “And give me back my pillow!” she added with a huge grin. Lily laughingly tossed the pillow back to Millie, who caught it and put it back in its place before crawling into bed. Lily followed her example and turned out the light. Millie lay very still facing the ceiling and just when James and Lily thought they were asleep and turned to head out of the room they heard her voice, very faintly, break the silence of the room.
“I guess I would be okay with it if I just didn’t look so much like him.” Lily stirred in her bed and looked at her, but instead of saying anything she just reached out her hand in the dark waiting for Millie to grab a hold of it, which she did.
“You’re still my sister. You’ll always be,” she then whispered.
“Goodnight Lil,” Millie whispered back, and James and Lily could both hear that her voice didn’t sound completely steady.
“Goodnight Millie,” they heard Lily’s respond in the same kind of low whisper as they left the room and headed down to the living room.
***
“They really seem to be very nice girls,” Lily said as they both sat down on the couch.
“Yeah, I agree. I like Lily’s sense of humour,” James replied with a smile.
“Now why doesn’t that surprise me?” Lily retorted with a laugh. “I do really feel for Millie though, she seemed so sad,” she then added in a more serious tone of voice. James stopped grinning and looked at his wife.
“I know what you mean. My heart really went out to her when she wished she was a Potter. I wonder why they haven’t adopted her. I mean, they do clearly count her as their daughter, now don’t they? So why not make her so legally?”
“I don’t know. I was actually wondering that myself,” Lily replied thoughtfully. “There was one other thing that bothered me today though,” she then added.
“What?” asked James, sounding very surprised.
“Do you remember what Harry’s wife, Ginny, said about him being raised with muggle technology?” she said looking intently at her husband. “You don’t think…I mean he couldn’t have…”
“No!” James said firmly. “No, Evans. He couldn’t have. Sirius would never have allowed it! Maybe they had to live like muggles for a while, to hide or something…I don’t know, but I am sure that it is nothing to worry about.” Lily watched him. He had gotten of the couch and was walking back and forth in the room, agitated. It was plain to see that no matter what he said he was worried, and so was she.
“James, I know this isn’t pleasant to talk about, but we have to consider the possibility that…” her voice failed her, but determined to give words to what was worrying her she tried again, “the possibility that Sirius might have died.” The silence in the room was almost painful. James was staring at her, how could she even suggest such a thing? He very well knew that there was a possibility, a very good possibility, but no “ it just wasn’t allowed to be true.
“James, I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything, but…” she hesitated, not sure of what to say or how to say it. How could she go on when she knew how much pain even the thought would cause him?
“Lily, don’t!” James interrupted. Lily looked at him with surprise, he rarely ever called her Lily, it was always Evans. Except for the first few days of their marriage; then he hadn’t been able to stop calling her Potter. Even in a time like this Lily couldn’t help but to smile a little remembering their honeymoon, the time when Harry was made.
“I know what you are going to say,” James voice brought her out of her memories and into the present situation. Harry was an adult, married with children of his own “ and they had missed it all. “I’m not an idiot, Evans. I know for us to be dead, for Voldemort to have killed us he must have gotten to Peter, lord only knows how or how much torture he sustained to protect us…” he broke off collecting himself before continuing. “We were the only ones to know that Peter was our safe keeper, the two of us and Sirius. I just cannot allow myself to believe that he was killed or tortured to give up his secret. It must have happened some other way. Sirius is smart, far smarter than most people give him credit for. He must have found a way to escape Voldemort, taking Harry with him pretending they were dead. Otherwise Harry would be, wouldn’t he? There is no way for a baby to escape Voldemort. Sirius must have saved him, convincing Voldemort that they were both dead.” Lily could hear in his voice that he tried to convince himself as much as he did her, and she wanted to believe him “ desperately she did.
She rose from the couch and walked up to her husband, stroking a lock of his hair from his eyes. He loved his friends so dearly, Sirius above them all…Yes she wanted him to be right, the alternative was just too horrible to even contemplate. James pulled her in to his arms holding her tight and for some time neither of them spoke; then James pulled away, returned to the couch and sat down. Lily watched him lovingly wondering how an infuriating, immature, bullying brat could turn out to be such a wonderful, warm and compassionate man.
Almost scared of how strong her love for him was, she turned to the grandfather clock to study it closer. Maybe it would be easier now when they knew some of the names? She soon realised however, that with all of the arms still pointed at the same spot separating the names on the arms or even counting them was impossible. She started instead to look at what the arms pointed at. The arms were all concentrated on the inscription home and for a while she wondered if the clock was broken since those who slept here clearly wasn’t at home, then she thought that to the members of this family maybe this was as much home as where they lived. She found that thought comforting, to know that what ever had happened in his past Harry was now a part of a family who considered each other’s houses as home.
She looked at the other inscriptions; school, work, travelling, lost, hospital, prison, and mortal peril. She shuddered looking at the last one, hoping that Harry’s arm hadn’t been there to often. Then she returned to the couch and sat down next to James, not noticing until now that he had been watching her. Neither of them spoke. Instead Lily just crawled up into his arms feeling very safe and loved. She wondered how they could be dead and still be able to touch each other, then decided that she didn’t really care how or why, she was just grateful for it being so.
“You don’t mind, if we just stay this way tonight, waiting for them to get up, do you?” James voice sounded vulnerable, it always did when he held her like this. She smiled to herself.
“Of course I don’t James,” she then said knowing that there would be no need for them to talk more tonight. They would get their answers soon enough.