Chapter 2:: Snape vs. Peeves
Oh my merlin! The funniest thing just happened. Well the funniest day, ok here it goes.
At nine o’clock the seventh years where taking a test in Snape’s class so I went in just to annoy him. Oh what fun that was, literally. Well, I started to follow behind Snape making finger movements and such behind his back. The class started to laugh and I just sat there behind his back trying my hardest not to laugh.
“Shut up all of you and do your test,” Snape spat. Well the class didn’t listen as I mimicked him. By pointing my finger and putting my hand on my hip and making my mouth go up and down. He had no bloody clue either what in the world was going on!
It was bloody funny. The class quieted and I just followed Snape around the class as he wandered, and he wanders way too much. The class giggled every now and then and Snape just was not getting what was so funny. So I put my hands behind his head and pretended he was moose. Haha, that made the class laugh so hard.
Snape is so thick not to realize what was so funny or that I was behind him. He is the thickest git that I ever met, well not exactly met, more like made fun of. I swear, by now he should of realized something. Well, he didn’t and so I just held in my laughs. So he wandered some more about the class with me following, I am just so bad. Than I noticed that the bell hadn’t rung and it was going to in about fifteen minutes. So I thought I would do something really funny, I slapped his butt. Yes I slapped Snape’s butt so what? Than I took a book and slapped him on the butt again, well a fair few more times. Oy I am so bad and not to mention funny. I was laughing so hard!
“PEEVES! PEEVES! YOU ANNOYING IMBASUL!” Snape yelled and turned around, except I was above him, the retard. And I dropped the book on his head. He looked up but I was behind him, the idiot, and I took a cup of the potion that the girl next to me was making and threw it on his butt to make it look like he wet himself. Yes well that was a stupid idea, yet it was mean and hilarious! The seventh years were making a disintegrating potion. Well, you can imagine what happened to his robes.
Yes his robes disintegrated, but than he was wearing pink boxers. Now that was funny! Ha! And they read, ‘Wow! Am I Hot Or What In Satin?’ Haha, everyone was laughing so hard, but not as hard as I was!
Than the bell rung and Snape fixed his robes, yes unfortunately the git actually remembered how to use a repairing charm. Well, he chased me out of the classroom, more like his dungeons and he the stupid git forgot that I could fly. Duh! Anyway, I stopped in the Great Hall in the air too and he was jumping up and down trying to catch me. Haha, but he couldn’t, ah the joys of being able to fly! Yay! Anyway I was just sitting there laughing and pointing at him. The noise stopped and everyone turned and looked at Snape as he made a total abysmally foolish person out of himself.
People started to laugh along with me but Snape just kept trying to catch me. He is so thick that he didn’t even think to use magic. I think that he was just so mad; yes well he continued to jump up and down up and down trying to catch me. I swear and I thought Crabbe and Goyle were thick? Even they would of thought to hex me.
Anyway I decided to tease him by going down when he was going down and then hovering back up when he came up. Now that was funny because he got aggravated and almost tried to do a double jump, and he even tried to stay in the air. Haha! I crack myself up sometimes. Well this went on for a full five minutes and he didn’t let up, and so I continued to laugh and tease him.
The students did not even think about getting up and leaving, it was so funny. People just stood there and laughed. Snape had no idea that he was making a fool of himself. But I had a great idea on how to make him even madder and also how to humiliate him.
“Here you go Snape pull my leg,” I said to him and lowered down.
“You giving up? You freak of a poltergeist! You giving up?” Snape spat.
“Oh yes. I just can’t stand to see you make a fool of yourself even more,” As I lowered down even more.
I swear this guy is so thick that he actually grabbed my leg without thinking. I mean hello I am the one that pulls pranks in the school.
Anyway the retard pulled my leg to lower me down and so I peed on him. Yes I peed on the potions master! Haha and how funny it was! I was laughing so hard and the Hall broke out into a fit of laughter.
Oh my merlin how funny it was! I was crack myself up. He was bearing his teeth like a dog and just walked out of the Great Hall, I just hovered off to place the know-it-all’s book by the Gryffindor Common Room so that she can scream her little head off. Oh I crack myself up, oh how I do.
A/N:; Now we all know how bad he is. But the part about him actually peeing on someone happened to me. Yes, my brother peed on me before, but it was just because he was sleepwalking… Anyway review please and tell me how the story is going! And if you have any maliciously evil ideas on what to do next just e-mail them to me! Review!!