Author’s Note: All right, I finally updated! As for the poll, everybody (well, mostly) was in support of Sirius coming back… so YOU CAN’T STOP ME!!! Prepare for some Out of the Veil. As for the Elton John songs below… well… don’t ask me what I was thinking of when I wrote the Marauder era part. Just don’t ask. Also, I have about 20 story ideas brewing in my head, including 1st year Marauders coming to 1st year Harry’s time, Marauder Movie Night, and an AU where Lupin teaches Harry’s 4th year. Yes, my brain is in its creative process right now. The ending, sadly, will be coming soon… (4-8 chapters,) but the sequel already formed a plot... or something vaguely resembling it. Amazing.
“ARE YOU READY, MOONY?” shouted Sirius, jumping on top of a sleeping Remus. The boy attempted to swat Sirius away, but this only made him laugh harder and yell at the top of his lungs. “WE’RE GOING TO HAVE FUUUUNNN TODAY!!!”
“Go away,” muttered Remus, turning into his pillow. He had been having a lovely sleep, and right now, didn’t want to be disturbed.
“I CAN’T DO THAT, BECAUSE TODAY IS WHEN OUR PLAN GOES INTO EFFECT!!! WE DON’T HAVE A MOMENT TO LOSE! GET UP, OR ELSE I’LL SING!!!” This woke Remus rather effectively, as he sat up quickly.
“No… please don’t sing…” he found himself begging, as he swung his legs over the bed.
“If you insist,” smiled Sirius evilly as he let out a high-pitched note. “SOME… WHERE OVER THE RAINBOWWWWW….”
Covering his ears, Remus ducked for safety and found Peter cowering against the wall. “What happened?” he whispered urgently, watching Sirius wail out Elton John’s Your Song.
Peter whimpered slightly. “He was eating all those Sugar Quills… I told him not to, honest…” Remus shook his head slightly. Rule number two in Marauder’s world: Never leave Sirius alone with Sugar Quills.
“AND YOU CAN TELL EEEEEVVVVVVVERYBODY THAT THIS IS YOUR SOOOOOOONNNNG…”
“At least sing a better Elton John song then that!” shouted Remus desperately, trying to calm Sirius down. At first, it appeared to work. Sirius went silent, pondering something.
At long last, he opened his mouth, perhaps to say something intelligent but all that came out was- “BUH BUH BUH BENNY AND THE JETSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!”
Remus let out a choked sob, running his hands through his hair. What was he going to do? Get dressed, that seemed like a good idea…
Making his way to the bathroom amidst Sirius’s raucous singing, Remus found unexpected pleasure in shutting the door. Maybe he’d be getting some peace and quiet... best of all, maybe Sirius forgot about that stupid plan…
Turning on the tap, Remus surveyed his situation. After Sirius calmed down, everything would be fine, just fine… As he put some soap on his face, he felt himself smile as Sirius stopped singing. First sign that his insanity had subsided.
He reached out, in the usual spot, for his razor, and surprisingly, the space was empty. Frowning, Remus checked under the sink and above it, but found nothing. He didn’t remember putting it anywhere different. Suddenly, a horrible thought came to him.
“SIRIUS!” he screamed, flinging open the bathroom door. The accused boy sat innocently on the bed, that scheming 6th year… “What did you do with my razor?”
“Well, according to my plan of action stated yesterday at exactly 1:32 A.M, you had to grow a beard, while I had to wear panty hose, lipstick and a dress. Eye shadow’s optional.”
“I don’t recall agreeing to this.”
“Hmm. Odd. Well, it’s for the better anyway, Peter’s already found his doctor’s outfit. I got Maggie to give me some tights and the other stuff… so now it’s all your part of the bargain.”
“I don’t want to grow a beard!” he protested hotly.
“That’s out of my control,” Sirius sighed. “You’re already looking a bit scruffy, and obviously, you don’t have a razor in hand. Looks like you’re stuck there, mate. Besides, you’re the only one who could grow one on such short notice, being a werewolf and all. Yes, we figured out that you grow one faster because of your ‘condition,’ or whatever.”
“That’s blackmail,” muttered Remus, sitting down.
“Maybe,” shrugged Sirius, plopping down beside him. “But it’s for the greater good- getting back James and Lily.”
Remus couldn’t believe he was doing this… he absolutely couldn’t… “Let’s review this plan again… you’re a woman, I’m your husband, and Peter is a doctor. Somehow, this is going to get us into the Restricted Section in the library.”
“Yep,” agreed Sirius happily, stuffing all his needed accessories into his bag. “We’ll put it into action at Transfiguration.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” muttered Remus, shaking some clean robes out of his trunk.
“I can!” Sirius trilled, clicking his heels in the air as he danced lightly out of the dorm room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“So. What are we going to do?” asked James, lounging against a wall. The halls were deserted, due to the fact that classes were in session.
Lily moaned, covering her face with her hand. “I can’t believe this… I can’t believe this… we got kicked out of class! Mom’s going to have a fit.”
“Hey, look on the bright side. Your mum might be dead,” commented James, cleaning his fingernails idly.
With a fierce glare, Lily shot up and towered over James, fury rising in her. “THAT. IS. NOT. ON. THE. BRIGHT. SIDE,” she snarled, eyes crackling dangerously.
James laughed lightly and began to run down the halls. “Aw, poor little Evans and her mum…” Lily couldn’t help it; she dashed after the teasing Potter. After all, it was anger making her do this… right?
She stopped paying attention to where she was going, but only to find James. She could have sworn she saw his robes snap around that corridor…
It felt as if an icy bucket of water had been poured down her back. Gaping, Lily whirled around to see what it was. There, in front of her, stood Nearly Headless Nick.
“Good day, Madame, I…” the ghost began, but then trailed off. “Good Lord… is that…?”
Lily closed her mouth, trying to be polite. “Hello, Sir Nicholas. Have you seen-”
Abruptly, a sharp tug pulled her behind a wall. “What do you think you’re doing?” hissed Ron, looking at Lily urgently.
“I was just… wait. What are you doing here?” she demanded, turning the tables. Ron stared at Lily as though she were mad.
“Classes ended about a minute ago,” he stated.
“Oh, excellent,” she murmured. “Now I’m going to have to round up James and get him into Potions without killing anyone.”
“Erm…” Ron appeared rather nervous. “You do know that Snape teaches Potions… right?”
Lily felt her jaw drop. “Snape? As in Snivellus… I mean, Severus Snape?” Ron nodded, a large grin spreading across his face.
“I hope James does something really wicked… Oh, there’s Harry. I don’t want him to see you…”
Lily frowned slightly, gazing at the back of the black haired boy. Funny, his hair sort of resembled James's. “Why not?”
Ron opened his mouth as if to say more, when Hermione brushed by. “Hello Lily… Ron, I told you not to say anything! By the way, you have Potions next, Lily, and I just saw James running down the hall. You might want to catch him,” she explained hurriedly, clutching her books tightly. “Come on, Ron,” she muttered, gritting her teeth as she led the guilty Weasley away.
What was that all about? Lily thought, furrowing her brows. Well, if anyone can solve this, it’d be me. But for now, we need to get to Potions… oh, where are you James?
A rat scurried around her feet, and then quickly dashed into a hole in the wall. Lily sighed. Now, she also had rats to worry about as well as James. Turning the opposite direction, Lily set off in a jog to find Potter.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Remus glanced up from the parchment he was writing on. The Weasley twins were still here. They’d been there since his first class, and still waited eagerly when it was over.
“Do you need anything?” Remus asked lightly, gazing fixedly at them. Fred shrugged.
“We just wanted to observe a Marauder in its natural habitat. Don’t mind us, really.” Sighing, Remus went back to finishing his letter. He felt a little nervous though, having those boys watching your every move. Five minutes later, and the silence was still undisturbed. Something was going on…
Remus stood up quickly, only narrowly avoiding a large display of fireworks exploding where he once sat. Fred and George looked rather impressed.
“Those were our new stock… supposed to be undetectable. You’re the first to actually avoid it before it went,” commented George, folding his arms.
“Well, he is a Marauder,” said Fred.
Remus didn’t want to know who they tested it on… and how many people. “I’m sure that Professor Dumbledore has something that you could do,” Remus suggested. “Why don’t you go to him?”
The twins shrugged. “No, we like it here,” George decided, leaning against the wall. Remus sighed again and let out a soft groan. It was going to be a long day.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A little girl licking her ice cream sat on the bench. Great, he thought, slowly sitting down beside her. Just my idea of a partner.
The girl looked at him suspiciously, eyes narrowed. “Who are you?” she asked, innocently swinging her legs. The man snorted, slinging his arm over the headrest of the bench.
“I’m an escaped prisoner that wants to kill everyone whom I meet, including you and your stupid ice cream, or at least according to the papers.” The girl stopped licking and stared at him for a moment.
“Yeah, like you understood a word of that. Listen; do you know where we are?”
The girl nodded happily. “We live in the world. Mommy taught me that.”
The man let out a grunt of annoyance. “No, I mean more specific! Like, you know, five-miles-down-the-road-from-Hogwarts-school-even-though-you’re-a-stupid-Muggle-and-doesn’t-know-what-the-hell-magic-is.” The man was interrupted from his rant when a prim looking woman tapped him on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, sir. You may be homeless, but that is no way to talk to a young lady,” she sniffed, wiping her fingers after touching the man.
Fire flared in his eyes. “I’m not homeless, for your information, I live in 12 Grimmauld place. Or at least I used to before I died.”
The woman looked absolutely repulsed. “Oh, you escaped from the insane asylum. I’d better call the police.”
“Hey! I’ve been called mentally challenged by a few of my closest friends, but insane asylum is taking it kind of far, don’t you think?” he said, facing her indignantly.
The conversation had reached the ears of others, who glanced over worriedly. One woman’s eyes opened in shock. “That’s the murderer on television.! The one that escaped!” she shrieked, backing away. “Someone, call the police!!!”
The girl could have sworn the murderer had whispered, “I knew I should have come as a dog,” before turning to her. He smiled rather amusedly, making a bow. “Well, I guess that’s my cue. Remember me… the evil murderer Sirius Black.” He wiggled his fingers to make a point, and the girl couldn’t help but giggle. He dashed away toward the woods, laughing loudly while the others shouted in panic.
Sirius cut through the leaves and bushes, still laughing faintly. It was sort of funny to see everyone scream in fright of him. When he got back to Hogwarts, or to Grimmauld place, or wherever he was destined to go, he’d write a book. How To Fall Into A Mysterious Veil, Come Back Out, And Convince All Your Friends That You’re Still Alive While Avoiding Muggles Who Think You’re A Heartless Murderer by Sirius Black. Yes, it had a very nice ring to it. He’d probably get Remus to write the book though; he’d always failed miserably at writing.
And Sirius kept running, thinking of how his book would be on the bestsellers list.
Another Author's Note: For those of you who are currently staring at the screen in horror, I apoligize. I will also include more info about how Sirius got out in later chapters... so keep reading!