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Oblivious by Pallas

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17: The Wall

It took all of Alastor Moody’s powers of persuasion to make Reynard Lupin relinquish his son to the St Mungo’s healers. Now Rey wished he had clung on more stubbornly.

His son needed him.

He had called out to him. Just for a moment, an instant, the terrible gold of those wolfish feral eyes had faded and his son had stared in terror around the room at the mass of white-robed healers pinning him ruthlessly against the bed and screamed out for his daddy.

If it hadn’t been for the fact that Rey was barely capable of standing, let alone walking, he would have been at his son’s side like a shot.

Diana had been waiting when the Portkey had deposited them on the floor of the St Mungo’s reception, gasping in horror at the sight of her bloodstained son and crippled husband. Despite the fact he could not stand unaided, he had refused to let go of his thrashing child “ in the end a healer had stepped in and cast a temporary charm on his leg so that with Moody’s help he could rush Remus to the ward on the first floor where the wide-eyed healers and the Auror had finally managed to prise the boy from his protective grasp. Moody had been whisked off for treatment at once but Rey was a great deal more stubborn. With a distraught and sobbing Diana at his side he had shaken off most of their tender ministrations, hinting at his desire to be left alone through an angry glare that all bar one had taken to heart and reluctantly backed away from his son to give the healers room to work.

And now Remus was seriously hurt, separated from his parents in the hands of strangers, trapped and terrified inside his own body and rapidly losing control.

And this bloody woman was trying to help him. Didn’t she have priorities?

“Mr Lupin, please let me look at that leg. The charm is only temporary and that’s a very serious injury. If it doesn’t get treated soon, we may not be able to fully heal the damage…”

Rey knew Healer Jarvin quite well “ in his line of work, he and his colleagues were frequent customers on the Creature Induced Injury wards. Up until now he had considered her an intelligent and capable woman, if a little over fussy.

Look,” he declared sharply, meeting her gaze with steely eyes. “This leg can wither and drop off for all I care. Why aren’t you helping my son?

Jarvin’s expression was an alarming mixture of sympathy, compassion and understanding; the look that peg-legged Reiver had designated her “that-leg-is-going-to-have-to-come-off-sir” look. It never meant anything good.

Rey was not in the mood for a long and winding explanation, punctuated by compassionate pauses and sympathetic pats of his wrist. He cut in before she opened her mouth.

“Straight facts please, Jarvin. Don’t spare my feelings and don’t beat around the bush. I want to know what you can do for my son.”

Jarvin bit down on her lip and glanced at Diana inquiringly. In spite of her tears, she met the healer’s eyes and nodded.

“The facts,” she repeated firmly.

Jarvin bowed her head, her brisk professionalism just failing to conceal eyes that were bright with sadness. “Very well. Bluntly, Mr Lupin, Mrs Lupin, this isn’t looking good. The bite wound itself, severe as it is, we can heal with time. But a werewolf has bitten your son and even though the infection is too new to invoke a physical transformation, the mental effects are already manifesting themselves in his mind. And in a mind so young and immature, these initial effects can have a devastating impact.”

“What kind of impact?” Diana was grasping her husband’s arm, her brave expression undermined by the horror in her eyes.

Jarvin simply turned and gestured to the bed where Remus’ little form continued to thrash and scream and squirm in the grasp of her fellow healers as they tried to treat his wounds. His eyes were now streaked with unmistakable gold. “That kind of impact. It’s too much for him. His mind is too young to be able to process everything that has happened to him this evening, the stress and trauma of all that he’s been through; it’s overburdened, overloaded. If he was older, it wouldn’t matter so much, because a more developed mind could perhaps have coped better, have created the necessary boundaries in spite of the shock of being bitten. If the events surrounding his bite had not been so traumatic, again, he might have stood a chance. But the presence of the wolf is too strong for him in this state of distress. Wolf minds capitalise on emotional vulnerabilities and after so much horror, your son is very vulnerable. He can’t fight that invasion off on top of everything else.” She sighed deeply, her factual demeanour wavering in the face of parental grief. “I’m truly sorry,” she said sincerely. “But I don’t think there is any more we can do.”

Rey stared blankly at the writhing form of his only child, his thoughts swirling, his features creased with a combination of distress and horror. He couldn’t fight it. He was too young to fight it. He was going to turn feral, just as Kane had threatened…

No. There had to be another way.

Diana was speaking to Jarvin, her voice soft and desperate. “But surely, once the moon sets, the wolf’s mind will retreat. Remus will be Remus again.”

Jarvin sadly shook her head. “That would be the case if he had been able to form the necessary boundaries to repel the wolf. But these early hours are crucial. If he cannot establish an initial barrier between his mind and the wolf’s, the two will merge together and become inseparable. And once that happens…”

“He’s feral.” Rey’s soft whisper drew the gaze of both women. “True feral. And then, there’s no going back.”

Jarvin nodded silently, her face sombre. Diana simply stared.

The healer’s soft touch against his arm was tentative. “It goes against everything I believe in to say this,” she said, her voice soft and uncertain. “But I just can’t see how he can have any kind of life like this that doesn’t involve the Ministry and a cage. Under the circumstances.” She paused to take a breath. “It might be kinder just to let him go now…”

Don’t say it.” His tone slapped away her words. “Don’t even think it.” His mind was working furiously. There had to be some way to help Remus, some way to fortify him against the assault of the wolf. She’d said something about his vulnerability…

“Jarvin, you said the trauma of the evening and the bite had weakened his mind,” he declared abruptly, shaking his arm loose of her hold and meeting her gaze with wild but determined eyes. “If it wasn’t for that trauma, those memories distressing and confusing him, would he be able to make the necessary barriers?”

The healer stepped back slightly, intimidated by the intense and slightly unhinged gaze of bloodstained father before her. “Maybe,” she admitted nervously. “He must have a strong little mind to have been able to break through for a moment to call to you the way he did when you brought him in. Even given his age, it may have been possible…” She shook herself out of the speculation abruptly. “But that’s irrelevant. You can’t turn back time or unwind what’s happened. There’s no way to test it.”

It was an idea. There was no mistaking it. An impulsive, untested, possibly ridiculous idea, but it was all the hope he had and Rey was well beyond the point of being careful. He was no healer. He had no idea what the impact would be. For all he knew, he might weaken his son’s mind even further. But if Jarvin’s words were any judge, he had lost Remus already, lost the only thing he had to lose that mattered.

But if it worked…

If it worked, he would have Remus to gain.

He would be a werewolf “ that was inescapable. But he’d still be his son. He’d still be Remus.

If he won the battle. But he was a strong boy, Rey knew it, and he could fight and win if only he was not handicapped by circumstances. He could not give his son victory.

But he could send him into combat better armed.

What else could he do but give him the chance to try?

It needn’t even be permanent. Just until his mind was ready. Just until he was older…

He started forward abruptly and at once almost collapsed as his weakened and damaged left leg gave way under him. Only Jarvin’s quick reactions kept him upright.

“Mr Lupin!” she scolded sharply. “That leg! I must insist…”

“Help me to my son.” Yet again Rey dashed away her words.

She stared at him. “Mr Lupin…”

He met her stare with eyes brimful of icy determination. “Help me to my son,” he repeated deliberately.

For a moment, she hesitated. But then, she looped one arm around his shoulders and helped support his weight as he edged the few steps across the room to the bed where Remus lay.

In spite of his weakness, it took little effort to barge his way past the huddle of healers clustered around his little boy. For an instant he stared at his icily pale son, with his dishevelled, sweat soaked hair, his ragged clothes, his bloodstained torso and his wild, half-gold eyes as he screamed hoarsely, his voice a pale echo of its earlier agony, sapped of volume by harsh use but not of its source. His convulsions had weakened to half-hearted flailing through sheer force of exhaustion, but Rey was certain his son would have continued to thrash and cry with the same sharp force as in the forest if his too-young body could have taken the strain.

Please, please, please, in Merlin’s Name, don’t let this be a mistake.

Drawing his wand, he extended it and pressed it gently but firmly to his son’s forehead. His face was set. He drew a deep breath and concentrated every last iota of energy he could muster. He couldn’t afford to make a mistake with something as delicate as his son’s memory.

Please, please, please. Let this work. Let this work.

His father had used a memory charm on Rhea, if Kane was to be believed. But this was different. A memory charm had started this mess. It would not be fixed by another one. But at least it could temper its effects.

You can do this. You can do this.

Just last night. He had to concentrate, to hide only what needed to be hidden, no more, no less. Just last night.

For our family. For Remus.

Do it.

Obliviate.”

Gasps rose from the healers around him, from Diana standing a few yards clear staring in shock and realisation at what her husband was trying to do. Jarvin was gazing sharply at him with dawning comprehension and a sudden hint of admiration “ pushing her way quickly to the bedside, she took in the dazed and suddenly shocked to stillness form of the little boy and extended her wand also.

Dormio.”

At once, Remus’ eyelids fluttered; after a moment’s struggle against the force of sleeping spell, he slipped into unconsciousness, finally stilled and silenced after so much raw pain.

“There,” Jarvin murmured. “Now at least he can sleep until the pull of the moon is passed. After moonset, he stands a better chance.” She smiled gently. “Good thinking, Mr Lupin.”

The adrenalin seemed to drain from Rey’s body as he stared down at his suddenly peaceful son, knowing in spite of this of the battle that must be waging beneath the boy’s repose. But he’d given him a chance. Please let this have given him a chance.

He felt strangely dizzy. The bed and walls began swirl before his eyes. Sparkles of silver and black taunted his vision.

“The trauma’s gone,” he whispered softly. “It’s just the wolf to deal with. Now it’s up to Remus.”

A hand slipped gently into his: Diana. She gazed down at her son, her tear-streaked face determined once more. “Now it’s up to Remus,” she echoed.

Rey glanced at his wife and just about managed to smile before his legs gave way beneath him and the dizzying darkness swept him away to oblivion.