Chapter One -In the Pub
“Happy sixteenth birthday, Harry!” Ron lifted his first beer to his lips.
“This was a great idea, Ron. I don’t think I could have stood one more minute in that house,” said Harry as he raised his pint.
Harry Potter had been at Number 12 Grimmauld Place for two weeks. He thought that any place was better than the Dursley’s but now he wasn’t so sure. Coming here had intensified his depression over Sirus’ death. After almost two months, his grief was still strong, but overtaking him less frequently. Some days he wanted to cry all day and others he managed to smile and even laugh.
Harry took another sip of his beer and wondered why it was so popular. Guess it's an acquired taste, he thought. He looked around the pub. It was rather small and dimly lit. The huge bar had ornate woodwork and mirrors behind it. Music played in the background. There were a few patrons sitting around at tables while some preferred the bar. Ron and Harry had chosen a table in the corner conveniently located near the loo.
“You know Harry, you’ve been through a lot. There is so much tension in that house. What you need is a good shag,” Ron smirked.
“WHAT? ME!” Harry had never heard anything like that from Ron before. “That hurts coming from you,” he grinned, ‘King of the Cold Shower’!”
“What are you talking about?”
“You take quite a few cold showers,” Harry smiled. “It’s Hermione isn’t it? You’re hot for her.” Harry looked directly at Ron.
“Well…well…what about you? I’ve met you in the shower room quite a few times,” Ron stammered. “There must be someone you are…hot for, is that how you put it?”
“No not really. After that disaster with Cho, I don’t think I’m cut out for dating.”
“There must be someone,” Ron continued to chide Harry through their second beer.
“If you give me details about you and Hermione, I’ll tell you who I fancy.”
“There’s nothing to tell. I’m a gutless git. I can’t get up the nerve to tell her that I even like her, let alone do anything more romantic!”
“You mean anything more physical?” Harry said with a smirk.
“Yeah. I think if I so much as touched her hand, I’d explode!” Ron put his hands in his long red hair. “I’m such a prat!” He shook his head. “Such a looser.”
After a few moments of drowning in his sorrows, Ron smiled and looked up at Harry. “OK, your turn. Who is it?”
“Actually there’s no one. I just wanted the dish on you and Hermione.”
“That’s not fair, Harry!” Ron protested.
After of several minutes of Ron’s whining, Harry gave in. “OK if it will get you off my back, how about…erm… your little sister. Yeah, I’m hot for Ginny!”
“Nooo! Not my sweet innocent little Ginny!” Ron said with a panicked look.
“Just kidding, Ron, don’t have a coronary!” Harry laughed as he thought about Ginny. Sweet and innocent. Ginny? What about all of those boyfriends she’s had?
“Ron. I hate to point this out, but Ginny can’t be all that innocent. She has dated quite a few of guys.”
“Not to worry. Fred and George took care of that,” Ron said with a self-satisfied look.
“What do you mean?”
“They put a spell on Ginny. Any boy, who tries to go too far with her, immediately realizes some urgent task he must do and leaves her alone straight away. It’s ingenious! They considered making the consequences worse, like making their hands, or whatever other part they tried to touch her with, burn or fall off. But they figured it would be too easy for Ginny to catch on and lift the spell. Plus they know that she’d curse them into the next century!”
Yeah she probably would. Harry thought. She never let anyone push her around or make decisions for her. Ginny was pretty tough, but she was soft too…pretty… stop thinking about her…sexy...shake it off!…she’s Ron’s little sister for God’s sake!…pretty…hot...
“Earth to Harry! Are you in there?” Ron questioned as Harry stared into space with a smile on his face.
Harry snapped out of his trance-like state and picked up the conversation. “So that’s why she runs through so many guys.” Harry had a concerned look on his face.
“Yeah. After they ditch her in the middle of enough snog sessions, she gets pissed off and moves on.”
“Isn’t that a little unfair?" Harry said. “I mean, to Ginny. Shouldn’t she be able to date in a…normal fashion?”
“A brother’s got to do what a brother’s got to do. It’s for her own good anyway.”
Harry and Ron ordered their third beers when two girls sat down at the bar.
“Harry, look at those two. Hot, hmm?”
“Is that all you think about Ron?”
“No, but it beats the hell out of thinking about You-Know-Who.”
“Well, I’ll give you that.” Harry raised his mug in another toast.
Harry was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. He was more relaxed than he had been in months. He looked around the pub and wondered if anyone else there had a life like his. I'm probably the only sixteen-year-old who has had so much life experience but I know nothing about girls. Why do I keep thinking about girls...Ginny?
Ron brought him out of his thoughts, “You know, Harry. We could probably pick up some muggle girls real easy. We could just do a little magic and really impress them.”
“Yeah, and get expelled in the process! No thanks.”
“Just an idea.” Ron left his chair and headed toward the bar. “Let’s see if we can do it with just our charm and wit.”
Harry was leary, but he followed Ron over to the bar. The girls were very pretty and appeared to be a few years older than the boys.
“Hi! My name’s Ron. Ron Weasley. Do you come here often?”
“What a horrible pick-up line!” The girl with blonde hair laughed.
“Can your friend do any better?” The brown haired girl looked appraisingly at Harry.
“Yes as a matter of fact, I think I can. Let’s see….Hello. My name is Harry Potter. I’m a famous wizard, I fight dragons and kick bad-guy ass.”
“You are good. I don’t think I’ve heard that one before. Where do you keep your wand?” The girl with brown hair asked with a flirt.
“In my pocket of course!”
The boys enjoyed their fourth beer with the girls at the bar. The drinks had certainly made it easier to talk with strangers especially pretty ones. Harry wondered why Ron couldn't be this open around Hermione. When the girls had to leave, Harry and Ron returned to their table.
“Rotten luck! I can’t believe they let us buy them a beer and then left to meet their boyfriends!” Ron once again grabbed his hair between his fingers. He ordered his fifth beer.
Harry made a toast. “To women! I’ll always love them, but never understand them!
“I’ll drink to that!” Ron laughed.
Ron’s thoughts turned to Hermione. If she was here right now I think I could tell her. I wish she were here. I wish I could talk to her. Ron got a sudden look of comprehension.
“Harry, do you have any muggle coins? I need to make a phone call.”
“What?” Harry looked surprised. Ron was not accustomed to using a muggle telephone.
“I thought I might give Hermione a call. There’s a fellyphone just there by the loo.”
“Oh no! No drinking and dialing! Ron you will regret it in the morning! There’s no telling what you might blurt out!”
“It’s OK. I just want to say hello.”
“NO Ron! Trust me on this.”
After ordering another beer (that’s six”if you’re counting), Harry headed for the loo for the third time that evening. He wondered how beer could make you so intoxicated since it didn’t stay with you very long. When he returned, he found that Ron couldn’t resist temptation. He was on the telephone. Where had he found the coins? Before Harry could stop Ron he heard:
“Yes. Hello. Mr. Granger, this is Ronald Weasley. May I please speak to Hermione.”
Ron paused as Mr. Granger replied.
“Yes sir, I realize that it is late, sir. But this is important…sir…”
Another pause.
“Oh”hey”erm--‘lo ‘Mione.”
During his pause, Harry could hear Hermione’s voice from four feet away as she screamed into the telephone.
“No, no, everythin’s OK. I didn’t mean to scare you. Har and I were just out celebating...celebrating his birdday...birthday and I wanted to hear your voice.”
Pause.
“We’re in a muggle pub! It’s great!”
Pause.
“Well we got out of Nuber...Nuber...Number 12 under Harry’s cloak. Then it was only a few blocks here.”
Pause.
“It’s OK. We have our wands. We’ll be safe.”
Pause.
“You know Hermione, there’s summat I have to tell you.”
Oh no, thought Harry, here it comes.
"They were all for you…”
Pause.
“They were all for you…”
Pause.
“All of those cold showers. They were all for you.”
At this, Harry grabbed the receiver from Ron. “Hi Hermione, its Harry.”
He held the receiver away from his ear to avoid any permanent hearing loss from Hermione’s yelling.
“Yeah, I think he’s a little drunk,” Harry said into the receiver, “I guess we both have had too much.”
Pause.
“If he remembers this phone call in the morning, he’ll never be able to face you!”
Pause.
“Yeah, we'll be heading back to Number 12 straight away. I don’t think we could fight off any death eaters in this condition.”
Pause.
“Bye Hermione. See you tomorrow night! We should be over our hangovers by the time you arrive.”
Harry looked at his friend who was bent over with his face in his hands. “How could you let me do it Harry? Why didn’t you stop me?”
Harry just shook his head and led Ron out of the pub. “What a prat!”
A/N: I do not own these characters, they belong to J.K.R.
'How Do I Love Thee' is a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Its from "Sonnets From the Portuguese"
Alcohol is extremely dangerous. Even at low blood alcohol concentration, motor function is impaired and serious accidents are possible. Intoxication to the point of nausea/vomiting and amnesia is perilously close to the lethal range. Death can occur by aspiration of vomit (breathing vomit into your windpipe), or by spontaneous respiratory arrest (just stop breathing) because of the depressant effects. Alcohol poisoning is especially common in young, inexperienced drinkers who don't realize that a few shots over a short period can be deadly. Don't drink if you're underage, don't drink and drive, and if you're of age and choose to drink, do so responsibly and carefully! ( this warning was copied with permission from HP and the Third Prophecy by deatheaterjb - thanks jb!)