Chapter 2: James vs. Snape
It was a warm summer afternoon, and Petunia was lounging outside on the grounds. She was now fourteen years old, but looked much the same as the Petunia who had sat trembling under the sorting hat almost four years ago. She still had stringy brown hair, a long neck, and horsey teeth. All in all, she was still the same tall, gangly, homely girl. The only difference (which horrified Petunia) was the addition of a few pimples on her chin and forehead, and a few extra inches height.
Though it was a warm day, Petunia had her hot robes on, and was sweating slightly.
Near the lake she saw Lily, who was dangling her feet in the water and listening to June talk excitedly. Petunia could hear enough to make out that June was babbling about Sirius's "wonderful, handsome, sexy self” as usual.
Petunia's eyes did not linger on the girls by the lake, though, as she saw James sitting under a large beech tree with Sirius, Peter and Remus. He was playing with a snitch he had nicked, and Petunia thought he was catching it wonderfully.
James was a Gryffindor Chaser. He had had the spot since his second year, and he was brilliant. Petunia was sure he could have gone out for any place on the team and performed almost as well.
She too, enjoyed flying, but was very shy, and had therefore not tried out for the Quidditch team. What if James laughed at her?
As Petunia watched James from her hidden spot in the bushes, he stood up, along with Sirius and looked directly at a boy with a hooknose and long greasy hair. Petunia recognized him as Severus Snape. James had saved her from in first year, she recalled fondly.
Since then, Petunia had seen him around a lot, not least in her own home unfortunately. Lily was friends with him, and this was all the more reason to avoid him. Truthfully all she knew, however, was that he was a terrible Slytherin who loved the Dark Arts, and that it was an open secret that he and James hated each other.
When Petunia saw Snape stand up, she almost yelped in surprise at the place he had been sitting. She had been so preoccupied with James that she had not noticed that Snape was sitting mere feet away from her hiding place. Luckily she stifled her shout just in time and merely shuddered slightly. Snape and his group of Slytherins was a nasty bunch, especially when it came to “Mudbloods”. By now she knew, of course, that those were people who, like her, had non-magical parents.
Snape was walking away, but James called out to him.
"All right, Snivellus?" he shouted, in a carrying voice.
Less than five seconds later, Snape had his wand in his hand. James, however, was quicker and hit Snape first with a disarming spell, next with the "Impedimenta" curse.
Usually Petunia would not have understood James's reason for doing this and would have thought it very unfair. When James was the perpetrator, however, Petunia thought it was very brave and the right thing, too. Snape often snuck up on James in corridors and cursed him from behind, she reasoned, and that was very chickenish. At least James gave Snape a fair warning. Besides, James had every right to want to get back at Snape, who tormented anyone he could easily overpower, such as defenseless first years. Well, Petunia had no proof of this, really. But, Snape was just a git. Really, James’s actions were completely justified, she thought.
James and Sirius walked towards Snape, who still lay on the ground, and began talking to him. Petunia couldn't hear what they were saying, but she registered it must have been some sort of insult, as many students in the surrounding area laughed, and Snape glared up at them from the ground.
Petunia would usually not have laughed at anyone who was being bullied like Snape was, as she herself was not very popular. When it was James doing the bullying, though… There had to be a reason!
The three boys talked a little more, and Petunia heard a stream of very colorful words come out of Snape’s mouth. Many of them she hadn't even been familiar with. Then, as James yelled, "Scourgify!" pink soap bubbles replaced them. Snape was choking, gagging, when Lily stepped over to him with a blushing June a ways behind her, staring at Sirius.
"Leave him ALONE!" Lily shouted, so loud that Petunia could hear her all the way across the lake. James said something to Lily, and she replied. It was another open secret that James had a thing for Lily that she did not return.
The two talked some more, and Petunia felt torn. She was jealous of her beautiful sister, she was relieved and happy that Lily didn't want James, but she also felt a bit guilty for having those feelings. She felt bad for James, as the girl he liked put him down. She felt what James was doing was no reason to ignore his love. After all, it wasn't like Snape didn't deserve it.
"OY!" yelled Sirius, and Petunia, like James started and turned to look at Snape. He had his wand back, and had cursed James.
Petunia cringed; she saw blood spatter James' robes, as it gushed from a cut on his cheek. "He's hurt!" she thought desperately. James had not done anything nearly that bad to Snape, only a few minor hexes. Snape was a Dark Arts-loving little slime ball. Petunia peeked a little farther out of her bush, and saw to her immense relief that James was still standing. She sank back into her hiding place.
Of course James couldn't just take that lying down, so, as Petunia watched, James flipped Snape upside-down, and revealed his graying underpants.
The students in the surrounding area laughed and applauded. Petunia would have applauded too, but she didn't want anyone to notice her. She liked her privacy, and did not want to just blend in with the crowd. Most importantly, she did not want James to see her. No, he would never like her. Oh, James. She sighed to herself. Lily, however, seemed to feel very differently about Petunia's hero. She said something to James, at which he let Snape down, and hit him with a full body bind. Lily was screaming again.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!”
James and Lily spoke once more, James messing his hair up the whole time, and James took the curse off of Snape, who turned on Lily and said something. Couldn't Lily see that James was messing his hair up for her?
Didn't she care that he wanted her desperately; that he was willing to leave an arse like Snape be, only to gain her approval?
Lily seemed to have changed her mind about Snape, as she looked coolly down on him. Typical, Petunia thought. Her sister was incapable of loyalty.
"Apologize to Evans!" James shouted at Snape.
Petunia wished James would stick up for her like that one day. Just like that day in the library, back in first year.
"I don't want you to make him apologize, you're just as bad as he is..." Lily screamed at James.
How dare she? James was so much better than that Snape! Why did James still like Lily after the way she treated him. James was right, Snape should apologize, no one deserved whatever Snape had said, she was sure of it. Not even Lily, if that's what James thought.
"What?" James asked unbelievingly. He went on to talk to Lily; all Petunia heard was the word "never". Then Lily spoke again, Petunia could understand only was "sick". Lily walked haughtily away.
Petunia would never have walked away from James. Her sister did not understand him. She never would.
"Evans! Hey, EVANS!" James called after her, but Lily ignored him.
James turned away from Lily and back to Snape, who was hanging upside-down once more. James seemed furious, and was taking it out on Snape. Well, Snape had cursed him.
When Petunia looked again, Snape was hanging in the middle of a roaring crowd, with certain body parts that would usually be hidden, out in the open, and hanging limply down.
Everyone standing around was openly laughing, one girl was even yelling, "Oh, it's so cute!" over and over again.
Petunia watched for a while longer, giggling softly, until James stopped displaying Snape because the Potions teacher, Professor Slughorn, was walking over, albeit chuckling.
He should be. James had to be the funniest person to have ever attended Hogwarts.