Care of Magical Creatures was interesting only because both Hermione and Malfoy were not there. Their absences were made even more conspicuous (at least to Harry and Ron,) because of certain recent revelations.
“You don’t think she actually gave it to him, do you?” Ron asked Harry worriedly, surreptitiously glancing around, as if Hermione might pop out of nowhere at any time.
They were supposed to be studying the crup leashed in front of them and making note of the differences between itself and a normal Jack Russell terrier. They ignored the animal, however, and sensing their disinterest, the crup ran around in circles, barking for their attention. Harry absently reached out and patted it on the head.
“I hope not,” Harry replied. “What do you think has gotten into her?”
“Well,” Ron appeared deep in thought. “It is, what, two days until Valentine’s Day? Maybe she’s getting desperate...”’
“Yeah, but Malfoy?” Harry pointed out.
They didn’t speak for the rest of the period, each lost in their own thoughts. The crup barked, but other than moral, fluffy, support, was unable to give any other helpful insight into their problem.
Hermione didn’t show up again until lunch, which, far from giving Harry and Ron any relief, only made them more apprehensive. For when she arrived, she sat down, her cheeks flushed, and pulled out another piece of parchment. This time she offered no resistance when Harry pulled it from her grasp, but merely stared over at Slytherin table with misty-eyed happiness.
“What’s it now?” Ron asked. “A poem, perhaps?”
Harry’s expression was one of entertained disgust. “No, worse. It’s from him. Get this:
“Dearest Hermione,
Your letter has, I must admit, put to rest my fears that my love for you would, as you so eloquently put it, ‘remain unrequited’. It is with great joy that I pledge my love to you in this letter, although I hope that soon I may be able to voice my feelings to you personally, and not through such impartial medium as parchment and ink.”
“’Impartial medium’? What kind of codswallop is that?” Ron asked indignantly. Harry ignored him and continued:
“It is my continuing hope that past differences will not interfere with what I feel could become a blooming love, if attended to properly.”
“’Blooming love’?” Ron spluttered, choking on his pumpkin juice. “Blooming idiot, more like!”
“Would you stop interrupting? Otherwise we’ll never get through this thing! It’s like a small novel!” Harry exclaimed.
“Fine, fine, continue with the torture...”
Harry smiled grimly and did so:
“For you, my dearest bloom of perfection, are a dream come true for me. All my life I have told myself that I would never stumble upon a love so perfect as this! But now it is as obvious to me as writing on the wall that this love was meant to be ””
“Stop! Now!” Ron begged, a small moan escaping from where he was bashing his head against the table.
Harry laughed and grabbed Ron’s head before it could make contact again.
“Why are you laughing?” Ron asked accusatorially, rubbing his forehead. “How is this funny?”
“It’s extremely funny, little bro,” Fred said, from next to Ron. “Take a look at the lovebirds.” He pointed with his fork at Hermione and Malfoy, who were now staring at each other from across Great Hall. Neither was eating or paying any attention to anyone around them.
Ron groaned again and let his head fall to the table, narrowly missing his soup.
Suddenly, Hermione and Draco both stood up and turned to leave. They rendezvoused at the entrance and left Great Hall hand in hand.
Fred, and George leapt up grinning. “Oh, we have got to see this!” George voiced the thought on their minds. Harry and Ron looked up to see them leaving.
“Hey! Wait up!” Harry shouted. The two jumped up and ran after them.
“How can you even want to witness this? It’s sickening!” Ron added, disgusted.
The four boys followed Hermione and Malfoy at a distance out onto the grounds, where the two sat down underneath a barren tree. Fred and George hid behind a nearby bush and Harry and Ron followed them.
“Oh my love,” Malfoy was saying, clasping Hermione’s hand. She stared adoringly into his eyes. Ron made a retching noise. “I fear, dear Hermione,” Malfoy continued, “that this love will never survive in such a society as that which surrounds us.”
“No, dear love, say not such things! Love can endure all things, and so must ours! Or else, my dear heart, I fear I must surely die!” Hermione collapsed into Malfoy’s arms.
Malfoy made soothing noises as he patted Hermione’s head. “Do not fear, darling. You shall not need to resort to such tragic measures. I can feel it my very soul that ours is not a love doomed to end in tragedy,” he declared, having changed his mind rather quickly about the state of things, Harry thought.
Ron snorted loudly. Harry elbowed him in the ribs, but Ron whispered sarcastically, “Doomed? Them? Never!”
Hermione sighed mournfully, too wrapped up in her misery to have heard Ron’s noise. She pulled away slightly and asked, “But what will our friends say of us should they learn of this?”
“Should we learn of them... How dense would we have to be not to notice?” Ron muttered.
“Fear not, my sweet. I am quite sure, that, given time, we can win them to our side. For nothing is more worthy than true love! None but the foulest of dark creatures would dare stand in our way!” Malfoy declared.
“That’s right, Ron,” George whispered. “We knew all along there was something fishy about you and I think Malfoy’s hit it right on the nose, there. ‘Foulest of dark creatures’... Has a nice ring to it.”
“Stuff it, you, I’m trying to hear,” Ron muttered.
Malfoy had pulled Hermione closer to him, and now he was speaking into the top of her head. “I had never dreamed in all my life... Never even bothered to fantasize...” he murmured.
Harry grinned at Ron who gave him a look of disgust. “Enjoying this, are you? This is sick.”
“C’mon, Ron, you don’t find this even a little bit funny? I mean, think about it, Malfoy and Hermione. Together. How impossible is that? It’s like a colossal joke.”
Ron glowered at Harry and looked away, but the twins gave Harry thumbs up and winked. Comprehension suddenly came to Harry. He opened his mouth, but Fred put a finger to his lips. Instead Harry mouthed, “You?” They nodded and grinned. Harry could feel a slow smile creeping across his face. He couldn’t help thinking about how much Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy were going to hate Fred and George when this was all over. He laughed quietly. Ron gave him a scathing look.
“You don’t get it, do you?” he asked angrily.
“No, it’s you who doesn’t get it, little bro. Haven’t caught on yet, have you?” Fred asked mischievously. “Time to leave the two lovebirds to their own devices.” The twins casually stood up and walked away. Harry poked his head over the bush and saw Hermione and Malfoy were too busy with each other to notice anything else. He pulled Ron up and they walked back to the castle, Ron fuming silently, and Harry laughing to himself.
That night in the common room, Ron, dragging Harry along, converged upon Hermione, demanding to know what was going on.
“I mean, it’s Malfoy for goodness’ sake!” Ron ranted. “When has he ever been deserving of your attentions? To him you’re just a ” you know ” not pureblood,” he finished lamely.
Hermione eyed him coldly, if a little distractedly. Clearly her mind was still on Dearest Draco. “I was right,” she declared. “I knew that you would never be able to accept Draco and me together. He is so naive, dear Draco,” she smiled slightly, “he claimed that you would understand. Silly boy.”
Ron was opening and closing his mouth, clearly at a loss for words. He turned to Harry for help. Harry shrugged, trying to keep himself from smiling. Fred and George were geniuses. How did they ever manage to make Hermione and Draco of all people fall in love? Harry knew he should probably tell Ron, but he was having too much fun watching Ron flounder in incredulity.
“True love,” Harry began imperiously, “cannot be destroyed by any means we possess, dear Ronald.” He had a hard time not laughing at the look on Ron’s face as he, in Ron’s mind, sided with the enemy. Hermione was giving Harry a look of mindless adoration. He found it rather unnerving.
“Oh, Harry!” She threw herself at Harry, embracing him emotionally. “I knew that you would understand!” Disentangling herself she ran up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories, but not before pausing to blow Harry a kiss.
Once she was out of earshot, Harry collapsed into an armchair laughing. Ron looked at him with a bemused expression. “I still don’t understand how you find this so funny,” he muttered, flinging himself into the armchair across from Harry’s. “This is so wrong. Don’t you get it? Hermione and Malfoy.” Ron shuddered.
“It’s you who doesn’t get it, Ron. C’mon,” Harry got up, “Let’s go to bed. I’m too tired to do any homework.”
Ron grunted in assent and stood up. “I still don’t understand why you were laughing,” he grumbled as they took the stairs two at a time. “It just isn’t funny.”
Harry grinned at his friend.