A/N: Just a short chapter on Hermione's feelings. I think it's important we understand her as well as Harry. And don't get impatient; Harry's confession is coming chapter after this.
Chapter 6: Over and Over
Hermione laid in her bed, thinking. She could scarcely believe she had been so stupid. Anthony had sent her that letter nearly a month ago, and she hadn’t even asked him why he’d sent it with a school owl. To add to her own stupidity, she hadn’t even realised that it was the 15th, but had gone after him, risking expulsion. She was so ashamed, she felt like hiding her face even in the dark room where no one could see her. To think that she was Head Girl and she still had not remembered! How could Anthony have done this to her? To purposely tell her to meet him and then not show up”that didn’t sound like something he’d do. Hermione felt devastated. Just as she was thinking that she was going to have to have a serious talk with her boyfriend, an unexpected thought came to her. What if it had been a frame-up? What if someone had purposefully led her to the Astronomy Tower, hoping that she would get expelled? She couldn’t understand why someone would do that to her. The new Head Boy might think it funny. Hermione’s stomach churned as she thought of Draco Malfoy’s face if she were to have been expelled.
God, if it hadn’t been for Harry, she found herself thinking, I would have been thrown out of here for sure. I can’t believe he’d risk everything for me.
She told herself that any of her other friends would have done the same.
But they didn’t. It wasn’t Ron who came running after me, nor was it Ginny. Harry was the one who came after me, risking the only place that he has ever been safe and happy in. Why would he do this? He could have just sat there, praying to God that I’d come back all right, but…
Hermione was confused. She looked up at the ceiling, playing with a lock of her hair. She wished Harry was there with her right now so he could explain things to her. So she could feel safe, just like she’d done back in that closet. She was only realising it now, but Harry had given her back her strength and belief that they were going to be all right, when he held her for those few moments.
Hermione tried to argue with herself. After all, Anthony could do the same thing to her. He could even make her forget about the important things in her life. She had completely lost it when Anthony had told her he had a surprise for her, for example. She really was head-over-heels in love with him. Well, not really love, but she did feel strongly about him. Anthony had the power to melt her completely with just one of his looks. She did feel a little helpless around him.
With Harry it was completely different. She felt safe, contented whenever Harry was around her”like nothing would ever harm her when Harry was close by. She had never had a problem telling him exactly her feelings, and he was probably the only person who knew her just the way she was. He knew her every expression, her every mood, her every flaw”he knew her for what she was. She didn’t have to hide herself around Harry; she didn’t have to pretend to be something she wasn’t. He had always understood her, always believed in her, and always been there for her. Even Anthony could not compare to Harry. Harry would always be her best friend, and he’d always come first in her life. She would give up everything and anything for Harry, she decided as her eyelids began to drop, and she fell into an uneasy sleep.
Hermione heaved a sigh as she sat down in her Defence Against the Dark Arts class. Their professor, Ashley Lanett”who had thankfully lasted through the last year without being killed, cursed, or sacked, was talking about defending oneself from an army of ghosts. She was a short, young woman with wavy, dirty-blond hair, and scary silver eyes, and at the very moment, incredibly occupied with explaining the danger of ghosts. It appeared Voldemort had got quite a lot of them on his side, and they were likely to be very difficult to defeat.
However, for the first time in her seventeen-year-old life, Hermione was not taking in a word that Professor Lanett was saying. She had just had a talk with Anthony, demanding an explanation for the last night’s events. Not to her surprise, Anthony denied having sent her that letter and clearly showed distress that his girlfriend had nearly been expelled. But, he was a lot more interested in the fact that Harry had gone through all that trouble to make sure Hermione was okay, and she had spend the last half an hour telling him that there was nothing going on between her and Harry.
Given the fact that she had just wasted her time convincing Anthony to leave her and Harry’s relationship alone, she was extremely cross when a pretty Ravenclaw girl came out from behind them, put a hand on Anthony’s shoulder and said softly, “Do you think we can meet tonight, Anthony?” Poor Anthony was left speechless. He told the girl he couldn’t, then turned around to see Hermione shooting daggers at him with her eyes. He explained over and over again that he was just helping the girl with her Transfiguration homework and that there was nothing going on. Hermione was reminded forcibly of herself explaining Harry to Anthony. Although she wasn’t convinced much, she let the matter go, kissed Anthony hastily on the lips, and hurried to class.
Her mind was busy dwelling over everything that had just happened, and her eyes had a glazed kind of look. More than once she noticed Ron and Harry shooting glances at her behind their books. They were clearly preoccupied at her lack of participation in class. When Professor Lanett asked them why ghosts would have advantages over humans and what would humans need to do to be able to defeat ghosts, nobody was able to answer her question. At once, all the heads in the classroom turned, as one, in Hermione’s direction. She did not appear to have heard anything. She was gazing into space, her head rested on her hands and her lips in a slight pout. While everyone stared at her in wonder, Harry felt, not for the first time, that sudden urge to kiss her. This was the last thing he could do though, so he contented himself with staring at her, which came off unnoticed, because the whole class was doing the same thing.
Hermione seemed to jerk herself out of her trance. She glanced in Professor Lanett’s direction and asked humbly, “Could you repeat the question, please, Professor?”
"What are some of the advantages and disadvantages ghosts have over us and what do we do to defeat them?” Professor Lanett asked, arms crossed and looking at Hermione with narrowed eyes.
Hermione seemed to lighten up.
“Well, ghosts have one advantage over us and that’s that they’re not solid. They can pass through anything. Also, the main tactic they use against us is that they pass right through somebody, but they stay there for a very long time. The coldness of them takes over and you lose feeling in every part of your body and eventually fall asleep. Which makes it very easy for the person who is in charge of that ghost to kill you or something similar. They can also be there in a large number, simply to distract you,” she paused, taking a deep breath and went on, “However, we have an advantage as well, and that is that we can use wands while they cannot hold them. The spell used against ghosts isn’t very simple though and it requires a lot of concentration and if done properly it’s supposed to vanish the ghost somewhere else, out of your way. Unfortunately, it’s the only spell that works against them, not even ‘Impedimenta’ does.”
The whole class sighed as Professor Lanett awarded Gryffindor 20 points. Their Hermione was back to normal.
Having finished with her speech, Hermione went back to her daydreaming. She thought about the mysterious letter, about her last moments with Anthony, and she felt jealousy spark up in her.
But that wasn’t the only thing that was disturbing her. Over and over, she replayed last night’s events, over and over she thought about Harry coming to her rescue. Over and over again Harry’s face would appear in her mind, and she found she wasn’t able to make it disappear.