Lessons on Life
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. That belongs to the great author, J. K. Rowling. Please don't sue.
Love. What is that anyway? Yeah, I know that it is odd for me to be thinking about love after what just happened. Well, maybe it’s not. I mean, I loved Sirius, and he died because of my stupidity. No, this is odd because that’s not the kind of love I’m talking about anyway.
No, I’m talking about hearts and roses kind of love. You know, pink cotton candy on a stick from the fair kind of love. Is it real? When I look at the wedding photograph of my parents, I believe that it is real. Yes, I do believe that they had a very strong, and yet cotton candy kind of love. Regardless of what Snape’s memory implies. People change over the years, and I am sure that both of my parents did.
Of course what does it matter if it is real or not, I’ll never experience it. If things keep going the way they have been, then I could very well be dead by my next birthday. Love like that simply doesn’t happen to me. I mean, honestly, I couldn’t even get infatuation to work last year. My first step into the dating world was a complete disaster. I could only get the girl to cry. If I did manage to do something right, then it was only because Hermione told me what to do.
Now there is a person who deserves to be loved: Hermione. As much as she has been through, she ought to have somebody who can give her the entire fair, not just the cotton candy. She has been a lifesaver to me. She cares so much about everyone else and their well-being. I haven’t thanked her enough. I need to do that next time I see her. Tell her thank you. I wish I could do more, but I know that she won’t accept more.
Hermione loves me. No, not with a cotton candy love, but with her special Hermione love. She has a special brand of love that makes anyone feel like the most important person in the world. Her love can give anyone the courage they need to finish what has been started. If Neville hadn’t of been there to tell me that she was still alive, then I really don’t think that I could have continued fighting down in the Department of Mysteries. How she can so readily accept me as her friend after that night, I’ll never know. Then again, I don’t know how any of them can forgive me. I certainly can’t forgive myself for endangering them and getting Sirius killed…
Ugh. How am I going to get through this? Now more than ever I need someone, but there is nobody here. Yeah, yeah, there are the Dursleys, but since when did they ever listen to me? I need Sirius here to talk to, but if he were here, then I wouldn’t need to someone to talk to. Hermione and Ron would listen to me. They’re not here though. I hate being this alone! I need someone to listen and pay attention. Someone who won’t judge me. Someone like Hermione.
Now listen to me, I sound so selfish. I’m not the only one who is hurting; Moony just lost his best friend – again. Yep, Hermione’s voice again telling me that everyone lost someone when Sirius fell through that veil. Always the one to bring back to where I belong, Hermione is. I know that she isn’t trying to be mean. She just wants me to recognize the truth. She really is great. Hopefully, someday, I can marry a girl like her – or at least date one.
She is more than any guy could ask for. Her kindness, concern, diligence to doing what is right, genius, stern yet fair way of dealing with people, and honesty. A copy of McGonagall, only without the bun. Of course, there is the whole age thing too. No wonder Ron fancies Hermione. I sometimes wonder if I don’t fancy her myself, but that would hardly be fair to her. It would be very wrong of me to like her with all the problems and curses on my life. Although, I am positive that she would say that that doesn’t bother her. She is my friend, after all. My best friend. If I were to see her as anything more than that, and Voldemort found out about it…I can just imagine what he would try. No, that is something that I can NOT allow.
Hermione sees past the material and looks at the heart and soul. I often think that she can read minds just as good as Dumbledore, and she doesn’t have to use magic. She is that talented. It’s as if she has this bird’s eye view of everything. She is so observant and knowledgeable. I don’t think that she has ever seen me as the Boy-Who-Lived. I’ve always just been Harry to her. I am more than blessed to have her friendship.
She has taught me a lot, you know. Taught me about friendship, life, courage, loyalty, and honor. Good grief, if she hadn’t of told me about the different houses, then I’d be room mates with Malfoy. As if life isn’t difficult enough. Ron and I have only survived these past five years because of her brain power. So many times, we have relied on her plans to save our rears, and so many times they have done just that. Honestly, Ron and I would’ve been dead in first year without her. I would have fallen to my death at my first Quidditch match if it hadn’t been for her. She’s protected and watched out for me so many times. I owe her big. I’ll dedicate that final battle to her whenever it comes. It’s not just her that I’ll be fighting for, but she’ll be my hope and inspiration. That one, Hermione, is for you. I will not fail you. I promise.
A/N: Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it. Please review, and don’t be afraid of constructive criticism. I need all the help I can get. Have a good one!