A/N: for anyone interested the translation of the chapter title will be at the end. But for now enjoy! (By the way watch out it’s quite a long one!)
Harry lived with the memory of Ginny’s hug for several days. He couldn’t concentrate at practices because he was too busy watching her zooming up and down. During one session Ron actually halted play to scold him “Harry the snitch was diving about right in front of your nose for at least five minutes. It was so slow that even I could see it. Get yourself together and stop staring at Ginny because you’re putting her off,” he then flew off back to the goal posts. From then on Harry focused on the snitch and not on Ginny’s long flaming hair that was blowing in the wind.
Ever since the day of the match Dean had been acting a little bit strangely with him. Instead of having any proper conversations with Harry he would only speak when spoken to and even then he restricted himself to one-word answers or as close to that as he could get. When Harry woke up in the mornings Dean was already gone and when he went to bed Dean was either already asleep or didn’t come up until hours after him. Harry was fairly certain that Dean was aware of the situation between himself and Ginny. He felt terribly guilty. He liked Dean a lot in fact sometimes Harry felt that he understood him the best of his roommates. After all it was Dean who had, like Harry, grown up in a Muggle home. He felt terrible about going behind his back and trying to pinch his girlfriend. The thought of Dean being furious with him wasn’t one he liked; it would make sharing a room with him very, very difficult.
As guilty as he felt about stealing Dean’s girlfriend it didn’t change the fact that slowly he was becoming besotted with Ginny. She seemed to dominate his every thought. He found himself sitting in the Great Hall at breakfast, lunch and dinner looking for her and saving her a seat next to him. Although nothing else had actually happened between them Harry was very hopeful that as soon as there had been time for Dean to adjust to the idea that Ginny wasn’t his girlfriend anymore he would be able to ask her out. There was a Hogsmeade weekend coming up in two weeks he wanted to ask her to go with him so he was keeping his fingers crossed. Ginny sat next to him every mealtime and they talked normally much like they had before they had kissed. If Harry was honest with himself he was desperate to kiss her again. Every time he closed his eyes he was kissing her it was all that he wanted to do.
There were other things to keep Harry busy, homework, Qudditch, Occlumency and planning for DA meetings. As soon as they had settle on the days and times of the Quidditch practices Harry had gone to see Elizabeth. She had listened enthusiastically to some of the idea that he had and made some suggestions of her own. Between them they had worked out a lesson plan for the year. Professor Dumbledore had suggested that they put a notice up on the four house notice boards inviting them to a meeting on the 1st of November. At first Harry was sceptical about this but as Ellie pointed out the Slytherins would probably think themselves above it. Professor Dumbledore had also leant them a disused classroom on the ground floor. When she had taken Harry down to see it he had been gob smacked, the room was a similar size to the Great Hall only the ceiling wasn’t as high. It was lined with bookcases full of every defence book you could dream of and it even came with some dark detectors. Harry was confident that the new improved DA would be a success.
Harry had continued his Occlumency training with Professor Dumbledore. Although these sessions were just as tiring with Dumbledore as they had been with Snape they weren’t as painful. Although his scar did ache a little it was nothing compared to the severe pain he had experienced after sessions with his Potions master. Dumbledore assured him that he was making good progress, Harry had thought that he was lying, he was aware that his headmaster could still gain entry into his mind. Then Dumbledore had explained that although he was still gaining access it was taking much longer and much more energy to do so. So he was quietly contented.
His lessons continued and his homework load was increasing every day. Hermione had been nothing short of a Godsend. Every night she was helping Ron and Harry with their homework, she refused to tell them all the answers but was happy to tell them what chapter it was in the book so that they could look it up. Ron had argued that it was just wasting precious time but Hermione had hit back that they were more likely to learn something if the had to search through the chapter to find it. This had made Ron very grumpy for about two hours, until Hermione gave him a kiss before ascending the staircase to the girls’ dormitory. Then all was forgotten. Harry just smiled, glad that his two best friends were finding such happiness together, at the same time though he knew it couldn’t last forever.
As the last days of October melted away Harry attended his classes as per usual. Thursdays were his favourite day of the week, although it was a close tie with Tuesdays. For the most part it was because these were the days that he didn’t have Potions but it was also because he had Defence Against the Dark Arts. It was agreed by general consensus that the young Professor Dumbldore’s classes were by far the best at Hogwarts. True to her word they were all embarking on very practical defence tactics. She provided great support to Neville. He was exceeding beyond all previous expectations Harry had seen him change during the DA meetings of their fifth year but the change was becoming more and more obvious and even Malfoy seemed to be laying off him. She took them step-by-step through many things and had promised that before Christmas they would do some duelling. She had even invited some Aurors to come in and talk to them, rumour had it that Mad-Eye was on the top of her list.
It was Halloween when it finally looked like things were going Harry’s way. As he sat at breakfast he couldn’t help but notice that Ellie looked a million miles away it also looked like she hadn’t slept the night before. When Dumbledore leaned across to talk to her it didn’t seem to help, and when her eyes locked with Harry’s she burst into tears and ran from the Hall. Harry looked at Hermione, who was watching as well.
“What do you think is wrong with Ellie?”
“I don’t know but she looked terribly upset,” she was every inch as concerned as Harry. He then resolved to ask her about it in the class which he had with her first thing. When Harry, Ron and Hermione entered the classroom Elizabeth was sat at her desk with a handkerchief in her hand sniffing away.
“Is something wrong Professor?” Hermione was always the first to deal with things like this, crying was something that girls just knew how to deal with.
“Don’t worry Hermione, just having a bad day,” she wiped away the tears from her eyes.
“You can’t be having that bad a day, it’s just started!” Ron interjected. She chuckled at this.
“Quite right Ron. I suppose it must be difficult for you as well Harry,” her eyes were still shimmering with tears when she looked at him.
“Sorry? What do you mean?” he was very confused.
“With it being Halloween,” she was looking at him in a very peculiar way.
“I still don’t understand,” he felt stupid, was there something glaringly obvious that he was missing, but the bemused faces of Ron and Hermione comforted him somewhat.
“Has no one told you?” she was sat bolt upright in her chair as though she had been electrocuted.
“Told me what?” his confusion only deepened every time she spoke.
“Harry, Halloween night is…is…” she took a very deep breath and leaned towards him. “It’s the anniversary of your parent’s deaths. Fifteen years to the day,” she whispered with her voice quavering as she held back more tears.
Harry felt sick.
There was no other description for the way he felt. He had never thought to ask more questions about his parent’s deaths, never thought to ask when it was they died. Here he’d been for the last five years enjoying the wonderful Hogwarts Halloween celebrations and all this time it had been the anniversary of the night his parents were stolen from him, the night that Voldemort had tried to kill him, the night when this whole sorry mess had started.
“Harry sit down,” Elizabeth had risen from her chair and was now guiding him into his seat. “Do you want me to write you a note getting you excused from today’s classes?” once again her face was etched with deep concern.
“No…No it’s ok. I’m fine. I mean I knew that they must have died on one of the days of the year, I had a 1 in 365 chance of getting it right,” Harry felt as though he was mumbling incoherently.
“Harry you’re not fine. I know I wasn’t when I first found out. You have permission to go back up to Gryffindor tower and rest for a bit. What other classes do you have today?”
“Really I’m fine. I want to stay,” he was lying and he could see from her eyes that she knew it too but wasn’t going to force him to leave. His heartbeat had slowed down, it was hardly beating at all. He sat for the rest of the lesson staring into space, he could hear Professor Dumbledore’s voice in the background but couldn’t make out what she was saying. All he could see were his parents dancing merrily around a photograph along with Sirius and Remus at a Halloween party sometime before their death. It had been in one of the photo albums that Ellie had shown him. That must have been their last Halloween before their deaths. The shuffling of people on either side of him alerted him to the fact that the lesson was over. Hermione and Ron were both very pale and watching him with uncertainty.
“Are you sure you don’t want a note Harry?” Elizabeth had once again descended upon him.
“I told you I’m FINE,” he barked at her more harshly than he had meant to. Her face had immediately fallen and she once again looked on the brink of tears. For the most part Harry didn’t care he was too busy mourning his parents. There was however a small voice in the back of his head that sounded a lot like Ginny for some reason,
Harry Potter how could you! Look at her face, she’s as devastated as you are. She’s here crying her eyes out because your parents are dead and you go and shout at her. It’s not her fault. She’s your guardian, Sirius has entrusted your care to her, all she wants to do is help you and be there for you. You need to remember that she is one of the few people who actually understands what you’re going through. She doesn’t have any parents either!
Although he knew the voice was right it didn’t stop him from storming out of the classroom and all the way back to his tower. As he left the room he could hear Malfoy proclaiming loudly, “Dear me looks like there’s trouble in paradise,” a few seconds later Ellie took five points from Slytherin for Malfoy talking out of turn. Ron followed Harry at a much more gentle pace. When he got to the common room Harry was slumped in a chair by the fire.
“Harry, mate. I know that it must have been really hard to find that out…”
“Lost many parents have you?” Harry bit back bitterly.
“No I haven’t but I did lose two uncles to death eaters Harry. I know that’s not the same as losing your parents but it still hurt. That’s my point anyway Ellie understands, she was trying to help you and you just bit her head off,” Ron argued defensively, Harry didn’t know he’d lost two uncles.
“But she’s sitting there all teary eyed, like my parents dying was the worst thing to happen to her. What does she think it’s like for ME? Having to find out like that,” Harry’s voice was hoarse with emotion. Ron’s reaction was completely unexpected.
He slapped Harry around the head.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?”
“DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT SHE WASN’T JUST CRYING FOR YOUR PARENTS? DID YOU NOT THINK THAT MAYBE THE ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR PARENTS DEATHS REMINDED HER OF HER OWN DYING, OF ALL THE OTHER MEMBERS OF HER FAMILY THAT WERE KILLED, OF ALL THE FRIENDS SHE’S LOST INCLUDING SIRIUS! YOU SAW HER IN THE GREAT HALL SHE MANAGED TO CONTROL HERSELF UNTIL SHE LOOKED AT YOU! MAYBE, JUST MAYBE SHE WAS CRYING FOR YOU TOO! FOR ALL THIS BLOODY SUFFERING THAT YOU HAVE TO DO,” Ron was bellowing at him at the top of his voice. The few other people that were in the room were staring at him terrified as though any second he might turn on one of them as well.
“I suppose it didn’t,” the remorse swept over Harry. How could he have been so disgustingly horrible to her?
“No didn’t think you would have,” Ron sat down triumphantly.
“I was horrible to her.”
“You were. She burst into tears after you left, Hermione looked like she might cry too,” Ron was going to make him feel as bad as possible. There was a very long silence where Harry proceeded to feel more terrible about his treatment of Elizabeth.
“When’d you get so perceptive?” he suddenly asked Ron.
“What d’you mean?”
“All that stuff about Ellie’s feelings, how did you know all that?”
“I didn’t, Hermione filled me in. Come on Harry I know I’m different this year but that’s pushing it,” Ron grinned at him widely.
So they proceeded to Care of Magical Creatures that afternoon, Hagrid spent most of the lesson scowling at Harry. “Is everything alright Hagrid?” the half-giant was usually so friendly that the sudden change in demeanour worried Harry.
“No ‘Arry. I met Professor Dumbledore on me way down ‘ere, in a terrible state she was too,” Hagrid spoke to Harry like he had suddenly turned into Draco Malfoy.
“Oh,” Harry examined his feet ashamedly.
“Yea’ ‘Oh’. I didn’ expec’ that outa you Harry. I though’ yeh mighta been more sympathetic. Very upse’ she was. ‘S a hard day for her. I though’ yeh mighta understood.”
“She told me that it’s the anniversary of my parents death, I was upset too!”
“ ‘Course yeh were but she didn’ know that yeh never knew. She though’ it would be better if she told yeh, that way yer didn’ have to find out from someone else!”
“I didn’t really think about it like that.”
“Nex’ time use tha’ loaf o’ yours before yeh go an’ snap a’ someone. ‘Specially someone like Liza Dumbledore. Fine girl she is, like her granddad in a lotta ways. Make sure yeh go an’ apologize,” Hagrid walked away from them back to his cabin.
“He’s right y’know Harry,” Ron was nodding.
“I know I’ll go now. I might catch her in her classroom,” Ron offered to take his bag back to the tower before he raced off towards the Defence classroom. When he got there the last of her class of fourth year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were just leaving. He knocked on the door, and she looked up at him. The remainder of her class looked at him disgustedly, Harry suspected that the rumour of how he had reduced their favourite teacher to tears earlier in the day had spread like wildfire amongst the students.
“Could I have a word Professor Dumbledore?” he asked timidly.
“I’m not sure that would be appropriate at this minute Mr. Potter, neither of us is emotionally stable today and I don’t want to hear anymore rumours of how I am an emotional wreck because of a temperamental sixth year,” she turned her head significantly to the stragglers. “I would have thought you were all eager to get to dinner. Move yourselves along please,” she added to them.
“I wanted to apologize for my behaviour earlier,” he rushed before she could stop him. “I was unfair to you. It wasn’t your fault that nobody had told me about Halloween, I should really have shouted at someone else,” as he spoke she softened somewhat.
“I understand that it must have been a shock for you but I did not deserve to be snapped at like that Harry.”
“I realise that now. I was just so stunned by it that I sort of lost myself for a minute. Ron straightened me out though,” he smiled nervously.
“Ron? I would have thought that it would have been Ms. Granger who did that.”
“It was, she told Ron what to say. Only he accompanied it with a smack around the head,” he grinned.
“Good for him. I realise that finding out like that wasn’t ideal but I didn’t know that no one had told you. Granddad and Remus got some serious earache for it as would Sirius. Goodness knows what he must have thought after the things I called him.”
“He probably would have thought it hilarious that Albus Dumbldore’s proper little granddaughter came out with a mouthful that would have shocked that hair of his red,” Harry could just imagine Ellie sitting up in her office calling Sirius some shocking things very few people would dare to say in front of her grandfather.
“He probably would. Harry I never meant to upset you.”
“You didn’t… In a way I should be touched, you loved them enough to be this upset fifteen years on that says a lot about them and you.”
“Oh Harry!” she lurched towards him and buried her head in his shoulder sobbing gently. They stood there for several minutes with Harry patting her back gently, it was the only thing he could think of doing. After a while she drew away from him apologizing over and over again. He assured her that it was alright and made his way back to the common room in a very solemn mood. When he got there he found that Ron and Hermione had waited behind for him, they told him it was to check that he was ok but he had a suspicion that they had used the time in the empty common room for a quick snogging session. After explaining what had happened with Ellie Hermione was adamant that he should come down to dinner because it would do him no good to sit up in his room sulking. She didn’t leave him much of a choice, he was pulled the whole way to the Great Hall.
The Hall was full when he got there, everyone stared at him and then at Elizabeth as he entered. She smiled at him gently from her seat at the staff table next to her grandfather who was holding her hand. As he took a seat next to Ginny at the table she was looking at him with deep unease. He smiled reassuringly at her and began to eat.
“I would like to say a few words if I may,” he paused allowing silence to filter through the crowd in front of him. “I am aware that most of you have heard of some commotion that occurred today involving Professor Dumbledore. I would like to convey to everyone that her upset was not caused by the actions of a student. Rather it was caused by some very painful memories, today is the anniversary of the deaths of several people to whom my granddaughter was very close. She was not the only one, many members of our staff were also very fond. I would like to propose a toast to Frank and Alice Longbottom and the memory of James and Lily Potter,” he lifted his goblet high above his head as did the rest of the staff. Harry watched Ellie’s eyes fall not only on him but also on Neville and saw the tears that silently escaped them.
After dinner Harry had gone straight up to his bed and pulled the hangings closed he didn’t want to sit down in the common room with everyone looking at him and waiting for him to burst into tears. The focus was entirely on him because Neville had disappeared sometime after dinner and nobody had seen him since. So he sat in the darkness of his bed silently contemplating everything about the day.
He remembered the way Ellie had looked at him that morning and the way she had burst into tears he had realised that Hermione was right she had been crying for him too. He felt the tears as they traced their way down his cheeks, dripped off his chin and fell into his lap. The photo album that Hagrid had given him in his first year lay open on the bed in front of him, his mother was smiling up at him and waving on her wedding day. The sorrow he felt turned from anger to sorrow and back again every time he looked down at her smiling face. He heard the door creaking open and the scuffing of someone’s shoes on the floor. The hangings around his bed parted slowly to reveal Ginny who looked at him worriedly.
“Harry are you ok?”
“I will be,” he wiped the tears off his face but she drew her hand up to stop him.
“There’s nothing wrong with crying Harry. I think if I’d had they day you’ve had I’d cry too,” she had a warm and comforting smile.
“Well at least nobody bit my head off,” he sniffed.
“I can arrange that for you if you like?” her gentle smile turned into a grin. He closed the photo album and pushed it away, creating a space for her to sit. She mirrored him by sitting cross-legged in front of him, allowing the hangings of his bed to fall closed again.
“I just can’t believe I never knew,” he felt the tears trickling down his face again.
“I suppose everyone must have thought that one of the others told you. The most important thing is that you know now,” she gently took his hand in hers.
“I wish they were here.”
“We all wish they were here for you too Harry. Although you may not have your mum and dad you’ve still got us, the Weasleys, Hermione, Remus, Ellie and Dumbledore too I suppose.”
“Can I be honest?”
“Of course you can,” she looked at him as though he was a bit stupid.
“All I really want is… you… I’ve been thinking about you almost non-stop… Ginny will you go out with me?” he looked up into her eyes. She didn’t answer for a very long time, Harry was convinced that she was going to say no.
“Harry Potter. I thought you would never ask,” she leaned in and kissed him. Once again he felt the electricity shooting through him. His heart was swelling in his chest and when he wrapped his arms around her he was convinced that he’d never been so happy in his life. He wondered to himself if this was what it felt like to be in love.
For those interested the title of this chapter Expiscor Diligo is a rough Latin translation for Discovering Love.
Thanks for reading; if you could find it in your heart to review I’d be forever grateful!!
The next chapter is going to be Draco's Discovery...