A Fic For A Challenge
*THE BEGINNING OF THE FIC*
Soon after the publication of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, the (in)famous Monty Python crew decided that they wanted in on the Potter mania sweeping the globe. You’d think that, what with their long-running television series, hit movies and whatnot, that they’d be willing to let the Harry Potter characters have their deserved time in the spotlight. John Cleese is IN the Potter movies, for God’s sake. But as we know, those blokes are jealous buggers, so of course they felt the need to “Pythonize” Harry Potter. According to completely unreliable sources, Cleese was the ringleader for this fiasco of a fic (as well as that alliteration just then). Really, doesn’t Britain have room for more than one phenomenon? Bollocks, twenty years from now there’ll probably be midnight showings of the Harry Potter movies…All the crazy fans dressed like the ruddy characters, screaming the bleeding lines at the screen…Wait, that analogy’s more apt for The Rocky Horror Picture Show …But I digress. Since they haven’t got any fresh material, the “Pythonizing” consisted mainly of stringing together some of the more popular Monty Python skits, then messing about with the names and settings. The lazy berks…Long story short, JK Rowling found out about this dastardly, ill-conceived plan. Put a stop to it, she did. Was in a right state (according to the aforementioned unreliable sources, it’s the reason the Nearly-Headless Nick character only had a bit of a cameo in the second film). Anyway….
WE’RE VERY SORRY
We, the posters of this fic, would like to apologize for the outrageous lies that were fed to you, the unsuspecting reader, in the above section “THE BEGINNING OF THE FIC.” John Cleese was in no way involved with the atrocity of a parody you are about to read, or any of the alliterations that occurred in the above rambling paragraph. None of the Monty Python crew had any knowledge of the sin against the art of writing that you are seconds away from perusing. The blame lies solely with an inane, uninspired authoress who put off the parody challenge she signed up for until two days before it was due to be posted. Again, we apologize. The writer of the drabbling rant of an introduction titled “THE BEGINNING OF THE FIC” ( a fan-poodle of the authoress) has been sacked.
ON WITH THE FIC!
Harry Potter was an exceptional lad. He was about to start his fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, high in the Scottish…er…highlands. But there were dangers and surprises in store for young Harry Potter, such that he had never yet…
What do you mean, Cleese had nothing to do with it? He’s the one that pansied out at the last minute, sold us out to JKR, he did! And so she sicced her high-priced barristers on us, and they burned up most of the fic, and now we’ve only got seven scenes left! So now it’s all jumbled up, it is! Damn that Cleese, the rotter! He…
WE’RE VERY, VERY SORRY
Again, we the posters of this fic would like to apologize for the behavior of this anti-John Cleese fanatic. Those responsible for the sacking of the authoress’s fan-poodle have been sacked. Now let’s begin…
THE FIC:
Harry Potter was an exceptional lad. He was about to start his fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, high in the Scottish…er…highlands. But …
Oy, you’re not getting off that easy, you fic-posting prats! Of course I’m anti-Cleese, the great berk’s the reason this fic’s a right old mess! How dare you blame the authoress? You’re a bunch of…
WE’RE VERY, VERY, VERY SORRY
The blame for this “parody” lies solely with the authoress, not with John Cleese, JK Rowling, or her high-priced barristers. We are certainly not prats. Those responsible for the sacking of those responsible for the sacking of the authoress’s fan-poodle have been sacked. Now, on to…Oh, bollocks, let’s just run the skits.
MONTY PYTHON AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE