CHAPTER 20

The First Task

[The corridor outside the Great Hall. Harry is about to tell Cedric, who’s walking along with a group of friends, what the first task is. He pulls out his wand, points it at Cedric‘s bag, and:]

HARRY: Diffindo!

[Cedric’s bag rips open, spilling the contents on the floor.]

CEDRIC: (to his friends) Go on, I’ll catch you up.

[When Cedric’s alone, Harry walks over to him.]

CEDRIC: Oh, hi, Harry. My bag…

HARRY: Cedric, the first task is dragons.

CEDRIC: What?

HARRY: Dragons.

CEDRIC: You mean, we have to get past them?

HARRY: Well, not exactly…

CEDRIC: Then what? And why are you telling me this?

HARRY: Only fair--now we’re on an even footing. Anyway, the task doesn’t just involve dragons.

CEDRIC: What could be harder than getting past a dragon?

HARRY: Well…It’s not the dragons we have to get past.

CEDRIC: Then what?

HARRY: Floor salesmen from Dervish and Banges.

[Pause.]

CEDRIC: You’re having me on.

HARRY: No, I’m serious! Hagrid showed me. I’m guessing that we have to get past the floor salesmen in order to get…something.

CEDRIC: You mean there are floor salesmen penned up next to dragons out there or something?

HARRY: Actually…yes.

CEDRIC: So where do the dragons come in?

HARRY: Well, I’m just guessing…But I think that the salesmen have dragon eggs that we need to get. Hagrid hinted at it, anyway.

CEDRIC: Well…Getting past salesmen shouldn’t be too hard.

HARRY: No, not hard at all.

[Awkward pause.]

HARRY: Well, I thought I’d let you know. Good luck.

CEDRIC: Thanks, Harry. You too.

[Harry waits in the champion’s tent for his name to be called for his turn to face the salesmen.]

HARRY: So all I have to do is get a golden dragon’s egg worth fifty Galleons from a Dervish and Banges salesman. Could be worse…

LUDO BAGMAN’S VOICE: And now…HARRY POTTER!

HARRY: Okay, here we go.

[Harry walks out of the tent to the enclosure nearby. There’s a little stage in the middle, dressed to look like the inside of Dervish and Banges, the wizarding equipment shop. Two elegantly dressed wizards, one tall and spare, the other short and a bit chubby, are standing near one of the displays. Harry mounts the stage, wondering what to do.]

HARRY: (to himself) Well, I’m in a shop…(out loud) Excuse me, I’m interested in buying a golden egg.

TALL WIZARD: Certainly, young sir! I’ll get someone to help you. (turns to the short wizard) Mr. Travers!

BAGMAN(commentating): Incredible! Harry’s being polite, and it’s working!

TRAVERS: Can I help you, young sir?

HARRY: Yes. I’d like to buy a golden egg. For…er…fifty Galleons.

TRAVERS: I’m terribly sorry, young man, but our cheapest golden eggs are 500 Galleons.

HARRY: 500 Galleons? But I’ve only got…

BAGMAN: Well, folks, let’s see if Harry knows how to haggle!

HARRY: …I’ve only got fifty Galleons.

TALL WIZARD: I ought to have told you that Mr. Travers tends to exaggerate. Every figure he gives you will be ten times too high.

HARRY: I see.

TALL WIZARD: Otherwise he’s perfectly all right.

HARRY: All right. Er…So that means that your cheapest golden egg is…fifty Galleons?

TRAVERS: 500 Galleons, yes young sir.

HARRY: Well, what would you say to…500 Galleons?

BAGMAN: Oh, it looks like he’s getting it! Harry’s cottoning on!

TRAVERS: Fifty Galleons?

HARRY: Er…Well, yes.

TRAVERS: Sorry, I thought you said 500.

HARRY: I did, because that tall man said that you multiplied everything by ten.

TRAVERS: Do I?

HARRY: I guess…I really don’t know.

TRAVERS: I suppose I could let the egg go for 400 Galleons.

HARRY: Oh, well, great! Here! (hands over the money bag)

TALL WIZARD: Of course, that doesn’t include the clue that’s inside.

HARRY: Oh…That’s extra?

TALL WIZARD: Well, we don’t just give them away.

HARRY: Okay. How about the forty…er, 400 Galleons for the egg, and then the rest for the clue?

TALL WIZARD: Sounds reasonable. Travers, will you show these ten young men to the golden eggs with the flobberworms inside?

HARRY: Flobberworms? No, no…I want the clue!

TALL WIZARD: I’m sorry, I should have told you: You have to say “flobberworm” to Mr. Travers, because if you say “clue,” he puts a paper bag over his head.

HARRY: What?!

BAGMAN: Oh, it looks like Harry’s losing it! He’d better keep his cool!

HARRY: I…I mean, I see. Okay. Er, could you please show me the eggs with the flobberworms in them, Mr. Travers?

TRAVERS: Flobberworms?

HARRY: Yes, please.

TRAVERS: We don’t sell those here. You’ll have to go to the Magical Menagerie.

HARRY: Whaa…? No, no! I’d like to see the eggs with flobberworms inside.

TRAVERS: Yes, young sir. Magical Menagerie is where you’ll find flobberworms.

HARRY: But I don’t want to see FLOBBERWORMS! The tall man said that…

TRAVERS: Oh, what’s he been telling you?

HARRY: But you were standing right…Oh, never mind. He said that I should say “flobberworm,” because if I say “clue,” you’ll…

[Travers puts a bag over his head]

HARRY:…do that. Oh no.

BAGMAN: Come on, now, Harry, you can figure this out!

TALL WIZARD: Did you say “clue” by any chance?

HARRY: Well, yeah, but not on purpose!

TRAVERS: (muffled) I’m not coming out!

TALL WIZARD: Didn’t I tell you to say “flobberworm?”

HARRY: Well yes, but…

TRAVERS: (muffled) I won’t come out!

BAGMAN: Come on, Harry!

TALL WIZARD: Sing to him.

HARRY: Huh?

TALL WIZARD: It’s the only thing that helps. Sing.

HARRY: Er…

TALL WIZARD: Come along, now. Do you want that egg or not?

HARRY: Sing? But…(sighs) Okay. Any song in particular?

TRAVERS: (muffled) I’m not picky.

HARRY: Uh…Okay. Let’s see…Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts…

BAGMAN: Good show, Harry!

[There’s some laughter from the audience as Harry, clutching his money bag, sings the school song to a tune that sounds like “Hail, Britannia.” Blushing, Harry continues the song.]

HARRY: It’s been three years, I can’t remember all the words…

TALL WIZARD: There you are, it’s working!

HARRY: Um…Something about dead flies…Bits of fluff…Scabby knees…

[Travers begins to lift the bag off of his head.]

HARRY: Bald and old, teach me something, please…Oh, I feel like a prat…

[Travers takes the bag off his head.]

TRAVERS: What a lovely song. Here’s your egg, young man.

[ He hands a dumbstruck Harry a golden egg.]

HARRY: Uh…wow…thank you. And…this one’s got a…flobberworm in it?

TALL WIZARD: No, for Merlin’s sake! It’s got a clue in it!

[Travers promptly pulls the bag back over his head.]

TALL WIZARD: Oops…

HARRY: Okay. I think I’m done, then. Um, thank you.

TALL WIZARD: Of course! It was our pleasure.

TRAVERS: (muffled) Do come again!

[Harry walks back to the champion’s tent, to the cheers of the crowd, heartily embarrassed and clutching his hard-won egg.]

BAGMAN: Good show, Harry! Harry was the only champion to actually sing a song! Of course, a few points will have to be deducted, because Travers put the bag over his head twice. But still…Absolutely spiffing, Harry!