Entry Six
Hey Diary! It’s late afternoon and I’m in the tree again. Quite a handy little tree this would have been for a Treehouse if Dudley had been able to climb it with his massive weight and I’d been allowed to play outside. I’ve done all my chores for the day, and have finally been able to sneak outside. For some reason Aunt Petunia wants me only to go out when I’m doing gardening work or shopping. Before, she never wanted me in!
I had this really great dream last night, which for me is a rarity. Usually I have nightmares about the basilisk, or the graveyard, or lately, Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kissing. But this was a dream, and I remember every detail clearly. It was strange because it wasn’t like I was in myself. I could see myself, like from outside my body. I was looking at myself standing in front of the Mirror of Erised, and the family I’ve never had were smiling at me. Then the me I was looking at stepped through the mirror, and before I knew what was happening, the room filled with people. There were balloons at the top of the room and streamers, and everything was full of light. Music was playing from somewhere, and people were standing around chatting, dancing and eating cake. It was so strange. I felt so happy and content, and couldn’t help smiling. I moved further into the crowd, to try and understand what was happening, and as I moved in I saw a giant banner. It said “Potter Family Reunion”. I started to look for my parents, and when I came upon them, the other Harry was there and they were patting him on the head and hugging him. At first I felt a bit sad, but then they saw me too, and brought me towards them, and hugged me as well. And then we spent the next couple of hours just enjoying ourselves, eating, joking, laughing.
As I said, it was really odd. Not at all usual for my nightly forays into my subconscious. Of course, it’s clear what it means. I want a family, a real family, who care for me. And possibly an identical twin brother? Anyway, when I woke up this morning I felt really great. That was soon dispelled by Dudley pushing me into the staircase banister of course, but still, I’ve been inordinately cheery all day. I’ve been so pleasantly cheerful, in fact, that it started to disconcert Aunt Petunia during the morning and she ordered me to sulk like usual. I made sure I was smiling broadly when I did all the tasks she set me for the day. Knowing I was angering her made it all the sweeter. I’ve sent the tawny Owl back to Lupin and expect to get his reply soon. Hedwig still isn’t back with that letter from Ron, I wonder what’s taking him so long? Life would be a lot easier if Ron just had a telephone, but considering he still insists on calling it a ‘fellytone’ that’s not going to happen any time soon. I keep forgetting to ask Hermione what her phone number is. I’ll have to remember in my next letter. Well, I think I probably have to set the table for dinner now, I wish they’d just let me eat dinner in my room like when I was locked up.
Entry Seven
I finally got a letter from Ron! I didn’t think it was happening today, either, but there was Hedwig tapping at the window just an hour ago! It’s 9pm at the moment and I’m seeing what I’m doing via Dudley’s stolen torch. There’s something liberating about knowing that I am going against my imposed curfew. Hedwig is sleeping in her cage right now, but I made sure I gave her lots of snacks. She looked really tired when she came, and I know why. I not only got a letter from Ron, but I got one each from Fred and George (which is odd in itself), one from Mrs. Weasley, and one from Hermione! Consequently, Hedwig was carrying an awful lot of parchment with her and I think the strain has taken a lot out of her. I’ve decided to write up one long letter to all of them, since no-one asked me anything too private.
Getting letters from Fred and George was really cool, I never thought those two did anything apart! Fred tells me they’ve come up with an even better range of products than before, you have to commend them on that. George’s letter was a bit more subdued than Fred’s, but he still mostly went into the same kinds of things. Mrs. Weasley has said that she’s hoping to gain permission to have me stay with her not next week but the week after. I don’t know exactly who she has to gain permission from, all I know is that I fervently wish she gets it. I can’t think of anything better than spending a portion of the holidays with the Weasleys. And Hermione too! She’s spending some of the summer with Ginny because her parents are going to an Oral Hygiene convention (yes, I think it’s strange too). Mostly Hermione’s letter consisted of well wishes, and pep talks for my spending time with the Dursleys, but she was also complaining about Ron. Guess what Ron’s letter consisted of? He mentioned Quidditch briefly, and school, and the possibilty of me staying over too, though.
I really hope Mrs. Weasley gets permission, I really, really do. Today would have been unbearable if I hadn’t got those letters. I felt absolutely terrible until I heard Hedwig’s tapping. Yesterday, after I wrote, I spent the evening listening to a veritable sermon given by Uncle Vernon on why I was such a horrible, terrible person, and why Dudley was a model citizen. I thought he’d given up on these sorts of lectures years ago, but apparently not. Time and time again I could feel the urge to explain that his model citizen of a child spent most of the time creating the havoc and disorder that I was supposed to originate. Time and time again I could feel my fingers itching for my wand. I really have to learn to keep my anger under wraps. Still, the future prospect of blissful, delightful freedom is sure to make that a lot easier from now on.
I was hoping to have another dream last night, but it was replaced by those same old nightmares again. Every night a new outcome, every night the desperate urge to scream and cry, and knowing I can’t. Bloody Dudley knew about me having nightmares though. I think I must cry in my sleep or something. I saw the smirk on his face as I handed him his plate of breakfast. The jerk asked me if I’d had too much trouble making it or if I’d been resorted to sniffles. Just you wait, Dudley Dursley, just you wait. You’ll see who has to resort to sniffles when I’m through with you. It astonishes me he even knows such a complex phrase. Must be learning something from his little minions. Aunt Petunia made me scrub down the kitchen floor twice instead of mopping it like usual, apparently because some ‘idiot’ had spilt honey when making toast. The ‘idiot’ I’m assuming was supposed to be me, but since I didn’t do that, not usually able to get to the honey before breakfast has been finished, I’ll have to presume the word was really referring to Uncle Vernon or Dudley.
Dudley decided to stay home today and laugh at me whilst I was doing my work And he also delighted in walking through my newly cleaned floor and making himself drinks and snacks. Whilst the old bat was barking orders at me, and Dudley was stepping on my hand, I kept imagining what it would be like to use the Imperius curse and get all three Dursleys to scrub the kitchen floor, over and over again. Is that terrible of me? Yes? Well I don’t care. For once I’m going to relish in my cruel fantasies. I’d never really do anything like that, anyway, would I? No, I’m the good guy. Would you believe it took me three hours to scrub that floor? Well it did, and when I was finished, I had to make lunch. When I passed Dudley his lunch he pretended he hadn’t a firm grip of it and it fell to the floor. The baked potatoes, the cold meats, the hard boiled eggs, the coleslaw, the potato salad, the beetroot. Another scrubbing.
After that I went and did the shopping (still no news, but then, I would have heard in my letters later anyway), and spent my afternoon washing the curtains. I swear, if I got paid by the hour I’d have the equivalent of my Wizard money in Muggle money. I then spent the whole of dinner being stared at by Uncle Vernon, who looked tempted to start his lecture on what a bane of society I am. I wish he still thought his eyes would pop out by looking at me. It’s incredibly uncomfortable trying to eat with his beady little eyes watching my every movement. It’s bad enough that I’m made to feel like I don’t deserve the food I’m getting, even if I’ve just done all the housework and am starving, without having his determined gaze. If only I had some kind of potion I could put in his food to make his eyes feel like they’re bulging, ever so slightly. Yeah, so after that I just retired to bed and attempted to sleep, but didn’t quite succeed. You can see why I was so delighted to finally get the letters in the evening. They’ve given me new hope. Anyway, it’s late and I am tired. I’ll just have to write that letter tomorrow.