“What direction did the first drill spin?”

Harry opened his mouth to answer, but found he didn’t have a reply. “Um…” Ron wrinkled his nose as he thought. “Well…”

“Come on!” cried Ethan, irritated. “You have a fifty-fifty percent chance here!”

“Okay…” he said. “How about left?” Ethan didn’t say anything. “What? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no. It’s just you have to hit your buzzer,” explained Ethan. “Otherwise I can’t grade your answer.”

“Oh.” Harry repeated his answer, and then hit the buzzer. “Was that all right?”

“No! You hit the buzzer first, THEN answer. Try it one more time.”

Harry did just that, and Ethan replied, shaking his head, “Sorry, but that’s incorrect. We have one more contestant who can come in with the right answer.”

They both turned to Ron, who had been staring off at the ceiling. “Get with it, Ron!” exclaimed Harry, shaking him.

“What was the question again?” Ron asked, and Ethan repeated it. “This is tough. Er… I guess… left?”

“I’m sorry,” said Ethan. “That’s what Harry guessed too! My, your minds work alike.”

Harry shot a glare at him because, obviously, Ron would have gotten the question right if he’d been paying attention.

“Next one…” at this Ethan suddenly paled as his hands flipped through the stack of papers rather quickly. “It appears I lost the next… question… just give me a minute…” Harry and Ron waited patiently for Ethan to come up with it.

“Oh, my, here they are!” lied Ethan as he held a blank piece of paper above his head. He didn’t want to look disorganized, so in order to keep his reputation he had to tell a little white lie. But Ethan could come up with some successful drill questions… right? Right? For those of you who have little doubt, say Aye.

Aye.

Ethan scrolled his mind for questions about drills, but seemed to find none. Harry and his pal looked up at the boss expectantly; Ethan was on the spot.

“Well… Here’s an original one, to say the least,” laughed Ethan weakly. “All rightie then… if a woodchuck could drill wood, how much wood could a woodchuck drill?”

Ron stared blankly at Ethan. This man was making absolutely no sense at all, and that was something coming from Ron. But he buzzed in anyway, hoping to beat Harry to the win.

“28.434 pounds of wood per hour?” wildly guessed Ron. Ethan rolled his tongue over his teeth. Wow, this boy was good. He couldn’t actually say it was wrong, since he had no idea, so…

“Right, Ronald!” he proclaimed as an amazed Harry gazed on. “Next question…” but he didn’t have any. He tried to think of anything, anything that would work, yet nothing came to mind.

He was reaching for any question, even if it had nothing to do with drills in the least. “Score is Ronald -1 and Harry - zip.” Ethan was running out of time, and he knew it. Finally he thought of one, even if it had nothing to do with the topic.

“Who was that man that came in a few minutes ago, looked to be in his forties, interrupted me and is incredibly handsome according to my wife...” At this point he smiled at his secretary whose desk happened to be right in front of Lupin’s office. She had dyed blue hair and a lot of long fingernails, and appeared to be gazing at Lupin whenever possible. Lupin was poring over a piece of paper though and didn’t notice her at all. “… and why is he here when I swear I didn’t hire him?”

“Oh! Oh!” cried Ron as he buzzed in, yanking the cord out of his buzzer. “It’s Professor Remus J. Lupin, he is 35, he interrupted because… well I don’t know, I was asleep for God’s sake, and he’s here because he’s looking after us to make sure we don’t send evil notes to you and Mr. Dursley.”

“Oh,” said Ethan, writing all this information down. “And is he dangerous in any way, or in other words how can I warn my wife to stay away from him so she stays loyal to me?”

“Is this a question that counts?” asked Harry, getting into the heat of the competition.

“Er… no…” said Ethan, frowning slightly.

“Well, then, we’re not permitted to tell you,” nodded Harry decisively.

Ethan sighed and changed his answer. “Okay, that’s question number four.”

Harry buzzed in and was about to say that Professor Lupin was a werewolf, but decided not to.

“The J. in his name stands for Juvenile.” Harry heard this just pop out of his mouth, and he looked at Ethan to see his reaction. Ethan stopped writing and stared at Harry long and hard.

“No!” he whispered, barely breathing. “That’s… the ultimate brand of evil!”

“Um… yeah!” agreed Harry, though he had no idea why that would be evil. “Or it could be juggler.”

“Even worse!” cried Ethan, happily taking this down. “I’m sure my wife will be terrified… oh, and do any of you know where I put my glasses?”

Harry buzzed in again. “On the table, Mr. Ethan sir!” he declared and handed him his spectacles.

“Oh… thank you, Harry,” responded Ethan. “So which question were we on?”

Ron buzzed in, and started to count on his fingers. “This is the sixth one! I have two points and so does Harry. Well, now I have three if I answered this correctly.”

“Oh, no, Ronald, you are mistaken. The last two questions didn’t count; I was just asking them- not in competition. Right, Harry?”

Harry hit the button, and his buzzer light went on. “Yes sir! Now I have three points and so does Ron!”

“No!” cried Ethan, utterly confused. “You don’t understand, I was just asking those to you, not in competition…WHAT IS MY WIFE DOING OVER THERE WITH REMUS JUGGLER LUPIN???”

Harry buzzed in, apparently on a roll. “She’s talking to him, sir.”

“Look at that slime ball! He’s going right along with her, hanging onto her every word…” Ethan growled, though it barely sounded threatening. In truth, Lupin couldn’t have been less attentive. He nodded and smiled in the right places, but his eyes never left the paper. “Should I beat him up now or later?” he asked, turning to the boys.

Ron replied to the question, “Right now would be fine, because we're now tied!”

Ethan rolled up his sleeves and stalked over to Lupin. “Excuse me sir, but what are you doing with my wife?”

A telephone rang and Mrs. Ethan Drew answered it, but her eyes remained glued on Lupin.

Lupin twisted his head and looked a little perplexed but still smiled. “We were just talking. Does that bother you, because I can leave any time you’d like me too.”

Ethan was furious now and deftly glared at Lupin’s tattered robes. “If you do anything with my wife, I will kill you personally! Do you have a problem with that?” Usually Ethan wasn’t so violent, but when it came to these family matters...

Harry buzzed in, beaming because he’d won the round of practice questions and starting to laugh because what he was about to say completely ignored common sense. “You might have a problem with that if it’s a full moon, because he can bite your head off!”

Lupin turned to Harry with exasperation in his eyes, while Ethan squinted at Lupin with interest. “What was Harry talking about?”

While Lupin was fending off Ethan with words, Vernon came in and roared at Ron and Harry, “GET DOWNSTAIRS TO START YOUR PHYSICAL TRAINING WITH ME, BECAUSE I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR BLOODY EVER FOR YOU TWO TO GET DOWN HERE!”

Everyone in the office peered over their cubicle to see who caused this outburst. Vernon breathed in heavily and whispered, “Would you both come downstairs so we can train you to be better athletes?”

Harry and Ron looked at each other, conveying skepticism and finally Harry spoke up for the two of them. “All right, but as long as there is a pool downstairs.”

“Good,” sighed Vernon as he led them downstairs, down to Harry and Ron’s eternal doom.