“Where’s the pool?” wondered Harry, looking around confusedly. All there was on the ground was brown, dead grass. Vernon slapped him on the back very hard and sighed loudly.

“What I meant was, you have to build the pool. Good luck, son!” He set up his plastic lawn chair and smiled as Harry stared at the ground in pure shock. Vernon loved watching their expressions. “Oh and here’s a shovel for you two boys!” he called, throwing two shovels at the duo. Harry caught his deftly and plunged it into the ground, eager to start working on his dream pool. Ron, however, watched it crash in front of him.

Turning to Harry, he whispered, “Why did your uncle hand me a broom? Is he letting me get out of here?”

Harry shook his head, but before he could explain, Lupin came running out of Grunnings. “Ethan’s wife… is chasing after me… I tried using stupefy on her, but she didn’t stop… hide me!!!”

Ron hurriedly pushed the shovel into Lupin’s hand and cried urgently, “Fly to number 12! I’ll catch up with you later.” Lupin stared at Ron as if he were daft.

“Ron…” he said carefully, as if speaking to a little child, “this is a shovel. It is used for digging up the ground.” Ron bit his lip. “Oh.”

Suddenly, Lupin gasped, as did Harry and Ron. Ethan’s wife was running toward them, full power. “Oh Remus, would you love me if I could bring someone back from the dead?” she sang.

Harry leaned over to Ron and hissed, “She’s nuts!” Ron nodded his head violently and Lupin did too.

“Listen, Mrs. Drew, I don’t love you, and I think you would be very happy with your husband. Besides…” he took a breath. If this was the only way to get rid of her, then so be it. “I’m a werewolf.”

“Wow! Aren’t werewolves those cute little animals that are so furry and adorable and lick you?” she asked, apparently thrilled.

“Erm… no,” Lupin admitted, trying to keep from getting frustrated. “They are humans that, on a full moon, transform into a terrible wolf that actively seeks human blood. They have no human mercies… they just kill. If one bites you, you become one of them.”

Mrs. Drew stared at him, face blank. Then, a large smile appeared over her face. “That’s incredible!!!” she gasped, excited. “It’s… awesome!”

Lupin felt like crying, but didn’t. “Actually, it causes extreme pain and I would personally prefer not to be one.”

Vernon stood up, face one of pure terror. “Get away from me… w… werewolf!” he cried, tipping over the chair. Lupin gave a small smile. Well, at least the whole world hasn’t gone insane and stopped fearing werewolves.

“Here, Mrs. Drew, read this book on it. Rather fascinating, it is. If you would like to read it too, Mr. Dursley, I would be happy…” said Lupin, hoping that the facts in this book would make Mrs. Drew wary of him.

“Wow! You know how to read?” came the voice of Dudley Dursley. Lupin sighed heavily and turned around to meet the eye of the boy dressed in a badly sewn cotton candy outfit.

“Yes, it’s quite an amazing skill, isn’t it?” Lupin remarked, pulling out a third copy of the book. “Why don’t you practice right now?” Dudley clapped his hands together and eagerly grabbed it.

Ron, however, was aimlessly wandering, and kept looking at the shovel. What is it? he thought, brow furrowing. Such a complex piece of art! Lupin must not have explained it correctly, there must be more to this marvelous invention…

“Ron,” Harry said, rather irritated. “Dig or read. That’s what the rest of us are doing.” The hole for the pool was now an inch deep and ten feet wide and across. Indeed, Harry was a talented digger.

Mrs. Drew’s head perked up. “What?” she screeched. “Did you say Diggory?” Out of the corner of his eye, Lupin saw Ethan racing across the lawn at him. Oh no.

“No!” exclaimed Harry. “I said ‘Dig or read.’ Not Diggory.”

“You want Cedric Diggory back from the dead? Of course you do!” She dropped the book and began to tremble violently.

Ethan grabbed Lupin and shook him. “What did you do to my wife?” he demanded, scowling angrily. “You son of a…”

But before this story could accumulate its first cuss word, something fell out of the sky and Mrs. Drew fainted, soon batting her eyelashes at Lupin who chivalrously caught her. Ethan let go of Lupin and hurried toward his wife, checking her pulse, sugar level, lung capacity and blood type.

Harry’s mouth dropped open. “Maybe she wasn’t as nuts as I thought,” he whispered. Cedric Diggory woke up, moaning.

“Ow. My head hurts! Where’s the graveyard?” he asked, before fully seeing his surroundings. Vaguely, he noticed Lupin. “Hey, Professor Lupin! Can you turn into a werewolf… you know, that cute little animal that is so furry and adorable and licks you? I really need the cheering up,” he explained. Lupin closed his eyes in frustration.

“Cedric,” he said calmly, “I can only change during a full moon. And they are not adorable and cuddly. They would attack you brutally and kill you on the spot. Also, I am very glad to see you alive. Welcome back.”

Cedric did not say anything, because just then Harry began to cry. “L- L- Lupin… I want Sirius to come back instead!!!” he sobbed, throwing himself into the Professor’s arms.

“So do I, Harry,” he said gravely, patting him on the back. “But I know for a fact that Sirius likes to take his time returning from unknown places… maybe he really isn’t dead. Last time he was assumed killed he was actually just at a bar and got so drunk he couldn’t return. Or didn’t want to. Either way.” Lupin wasn’t sure how this was going to help Harry, but he guessed it did because Harry smiled.

“Really?” he asked hopefully, wiping his tears.

“Really. Now, if you want to swim before it gets to freezing, start shoveling,” he urged Harry, smiling as the lad shouldered his spade and dug with new energy into the earth. Reminded him of James, the way he dug those holes…

A sudden bark interrupted his traveling thoughts. Walking nonchalantly out of everyone’s eye range, Lupin followed the sound. His eyes went wide as he saw a large black dog near Grunnings entrance.

“Sirius!” he hissed, pulling him behind a bush roughly, “where have you been? Harry’s getting suspicious!”

The dog let out a loopy smile as he transformed back into a cocky Sirius. “ I was simply battling the evil behind the veil, Moony! I thought you had more faith in me.”

“Then,” muttered Lupin exasperatedly, “what is that on your neck?”

Blushing madly, Sirius brushed his hair over the hickey. “All right, the girls behind there were really swell. You should go sometime.”

Lupin shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. Do you know that Harry has been through while you were gone? He’s been crying his heart out!”

Sirius sighed. “It’s hard being a godfather. I mean, really. You always have to set a good example and be there and never take risks… hey, you should have been his godfather!”

“Lily and James discovered that the minute after you were appointed,” said Lupin wryly. “So, what are you going to say to him?”

Sirius pondered for a minute, thinking. Finally, he said, “I think I’ll figure that out later. You know what was weird, though? When I told all the girls that you were a werewolf, they immediately cried, ‘Awwww! They’re so cute!’ Do you know why?”

“No,” Lupin replied, “But you should ask Cedric and Mrs. Drew. They think that’s what a werewolf is also.”

“Cedric?” asked Sirius, puzzled.

“It’s a long story,” muttered Lupin.

Author’s Note: My weirdest chapter ever, there you go! I must be going crazy this weekend, my Harry’s Our What??? 12th chapter is odd too. It involves Frank Longbottom as a duck. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Also, this story is NOT done yet! NOT done!!! So hang in there, my faithful readers!!!