A/N: I've honestly considered calling this chapter 'Harry's a Stupid Boy" - but I thought that was my biased female opinions, so we'll just stick with this.
Thank you for the reviews, my darlings - I hope you keep enjoying the story ;)
Chapter 35: Unforeseen Emotions
The first week of classes automatically reminded Harry of another issue that had been pressing on his mind: Snape. He couldn’t explain why he was as worried as to where his least favorite professor had gotten to; all he knew is that it bothered him.
“All right, class,” said Professor Alchemina cheerily when the bell rung to release the students for the weekend that Friday. “Please pour you dragon’s blood back into the flasks and bring them to the front of the room. Be careful “ you don’t want to waste any “ it’s hard to get a hold of.”
Harry mindlessly followed her directions and then followed Hermione out of the dungeons up towards the Great Hall.
“What do you think has happened to Snape?” Harry asked her.
“I don’t know “ I thought you said it was probably his turn to put the Voldemort ornament on top of the tree...” she said sarcastically.
“Yeah- I know. But I’m serious Hermione “ where do you think he is?” he asked.
“Honestly Harry, I have no clue,” she sighed.
The entered the Great Hall, Hermione greeted Ron with a lingering kiss. Harry watched them, appalled.
“How come you don’t kiss me like that?” Katie said, as she came up behind Harry.
“Why would I want to?” Harry said grimacing.
Katie just raised her eyebrow, but was grinning, so Harry figured he was safe from her wrath. He peeked another glance at Ron and Hermione; they were now just sitting talking quietly, Hermione was playing with his hair softly. Ron was dealing all right, he had taken Harry’s advice and let himself have fun now and again, but he was still pretty down most of the time. It seemed he had thrown himself into his relationship with Hermione; they spent much more time alone together than before. Harry didn’t mind too much “ he hadn’t really felt like talking much to anyone. He spent most of his time alone, thinking “ about the prophecy, about Voldemort, about Snape.
“So, are you feeling all right, Harry?” Katie asked sitting down and opening her Arithmancy book.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” he asked casually.
“Just with all that’s going on right now...you’re probably wishing, more than any of us, they’d hurry up and catch You-Know-Who, already...” she said.
“Oh “ yeah,” Harry said uncomfortably; he had not told Katie about the prophecy, he hadn’t even considered telling her, yet.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Oh... nothing. I’m just thinking,” he replied. “Umm, I’ve got to go, Katie “ I’ll see you later, alright?”
“Oh “ okay,” she said, sounding a bit disappointed.
Harry decided that he needed to talk to someone, but he wasn’t sure Katie was what he needed. He headed upstairs to Lupin’s office, and knocked lightly on the door.
“Come in,” he heard Lupin say from inside.
Harry walked in a bit anxiously; he noticed Lupin looked quite tired and a bit peaky, he looked up from the rolls of parchment he was grading, and smiled at Harry.
“Hi, Harry “ what brings you to my office on a Friday afternoon? Shouldn’t you be off causing trouble? Your father would be disappointed...” he said, grinning.
Harry smiled nervously.
“You said if I needed to talk “ that I could come to you...”
“Of course. What’s wrong?” Lupin said, putting away the rolls of parchment.
“Nothing really “ or everything, maybe...” Harry sighed.
Lupin waited for him to go on, looking at him thoughtfully.
“Professor Lupin “ do you know anything about...about the prophecy?”
Lupin furrowed his brow, and gave a deep sigh.
“I’m assuming you’re talking about the one concerning you and Voldemort...”
Harry nodded. Lupin continued.
“I know of it “ but I don’t really know anything about what was contained inside it. Dumbledore decided it was your business, not anyone else’s...”
Harry was quiet for a minute. Then he let out a deep breath.
“It said that I am the only one with the power to vanquish Voldemort. And either I finish him, or... he finishes me.”
Harry watches the effect his words had on Lupin; he was clearly surprised.
“There’s more. It said that I have “power that the Dark Lord knows not”. Dumbledore seems to have a pretty good idea of what that power is “ but he hasn’t been very clear in telling me what it is I’m supposed to do...
“I guess I’m telling you this...because “ I don’t know, it would help to have someone else know “ other than Ron, Hermione and Ginny.”
“You haven’t told Katie?” Lupin asked, curiously. “I thought the two of you were close.”
“Well...no. But I mean “ Ron and Hermione are my best friends, and Ginny “ well she’s been there for a lot of the stuff I’ve had to deal with... Katie “ well, she’s my girlfriend, but it’s not like we’re really serious.”
Lupin nodded; he looked as though he were trying to remain a straight face “ but Harry saw the corner of his mouth twitch. It was though he thought he knew something Harry didn’t.
“What?” Harry asked.
“Nothing... nothing at all...” Lupin said casually; before becoming serious again. “So, moving on “ I’ve thought you’ve seemed burdened since last summer “ more than usual, of course. I thought it was just Sirius’s death... but “ I had no idea, Harry. That’s a lot to deal with.”
“Yeah it has been,” Harry said, deciding to ignore whatever Lupin had been smiling about before. “I feel partly responsible, whenever anyone dies... like maybe I should be getting on with it.”
“With getting rid of Voldemort?”
“Yeah.”
“Harry “ you know you can’t blame yourself.”
“I know “ that’s what everyone says.”
They were silent for a minute.
“That’s not all that’s bothering me...” Harry said.
“What else?” Lupin asked.
“Snape,” Harry said.
“Oh “ yes. The Order has been trying to figure out where he’s gotten to for the past month. We have no clue what’s happened to him...” Lupin said gravely.
Harry hadn’t really thought much about the Order since Sirius had died, he hadn’t had the energy to care.
“What do you think’s happened?” Harry asked tentatively.
“I think that maybe the Death Eaters found out...” Lupin trailed off, no one had ever told Harry what Snape’s assignment for the Order was.
“Found out what...?”
“Honestly Harry “ all I know is that Snape gets information for us. Detailed, inside information - but I don’t know what he does to get it. Dumbledore keeps that between the two of them...”
Harry couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He thought he had been on the verge of finally discovering what Snape had been up to for the past year. Now he knew that everyone else was as much in the dark as he was.
“You don’t think...he’s been killed?” Harry asked.
“Probably not. I think if Voldemort did find out something, he’s planning on using it against us “ and killing Snape probably wouldn’t help him as much as keeping him alive.”
Lupin stopped and look at the clock.
“You should probably go now, Harry...” he said.
“Full moon?” Harry asked.
Lupin just nodded, and smiled darkly.
“Alright,” Harry said, turning to leave. “Thanks, Professor Lupin.”
“Anytime.”
Harry went upstairs to the Gryffindor common room, he found Ron and Hermione sitting in an armchair together, talking softly.
“I don’t know “ I like Michael,” said Hermione.
“Too boring...I prefer something like Dimitrius.”
“Ooh... I like that. ‘Dimitrius Weasley’ “ it sounds good.”
Harry stared open mouthed at the two of them.
“Are you two naming your children?” He asked, horrified.
They both blushed a little.
“Not seriously of course “ it’s just an interesting subject to discuss,” Hermione said. Ron, however, couldn’t bring himself to look Harry in the eye.
“Sure...” said Harry, disbelievingly and he walked away, shaking his head, and muttering. “What has gotten in to those two?”
“Hey, Harry...” Katie said in a small voice from behind him.
“Hey...” Harry didn’t know why, but he felt a little uncomfortable. He blamed it on Lupin.
I want to know what he thinks is going on with Katie and me, Harry thought.
“So where’d you go today?” she asked.
“I went to talk to Professor Lupin,” Harry said.
“Are you on personal speaking terms with all the professors?” Katie asked, smiling.
“Not all of them, no...” Harry said. “Lupin was best friends with my dad and Sirius...”
“So what’d you talk about?” she asked.
Harry hesitated. He wasn’t sure if he should let her know about the prophecy. He definitely wouldn’t have wanted to share something that personal with Cho...
But Katie’s not Cho, he thought to himself.
“Of course, you don’t have to say anything, if it’s too personal...” Katie said quickly, when she sensed his delay in answering her.
Harry just looked at her.
I never felt this way about Cho, he thought.
“Harry...?” Katie asked when Harry still hadn’t spoken. “Is something the matter?”
“No...no nothing. I’ll tell you later “ alright. I’m just tired. I have to go to bed. G’night,” he muttered hurriedly and dashed up the stairs, leaving Katie totally bewildered.
Harry collapsed into bed, not knowing what to think.
Maybe..., he thought.
No...another voice said in his head.
Would it be so wrong? Asked the voice
Yes, yes it would.
But, why?
It went on like that for a good while, as Harry spent the rest of that night trying desperately to convince himself that he was not in love with Katie Bell.