Chapter 61: Renewed Friendships
“Harry, are you alright?”
“Uh-huh…”
“Harry, I know you’re upset…”
“Mmm…”
The door opened, and Harry heard the footsteps of a few people entering. Katie sighed and left Harry at the kitchen table, where he sat continuing to scribble absently on a piece of parchment that was supposed to be his Transfiguration essay.
“I’m really worried about him,” he heard Katie whisper. “Hasn’t said a word since yesterday…”
“Heard him in his sleep last night,” Ron’s voice said quietly. “Sounded like he was having nightmares, bad ones.”
“I haven’t seen him like this since June…” he heard Hermione say painfully.
“What are we going to do?” asked Ginny quietly.
“Maybe you should leave me alone,” Harry said tonelessly, standing up and sweeping past the four of them. “And stop talking about me while you’re at it.”
He left the kitchen, letting the door close behind him; he might have considered slamming it, had he the energy. He went outside, and just kept walking. He walked away from the Burrow, and he didn’t stop.
Ron was right, he had had nightmares the night before; horrible ones, worse than any before. He had dreamt he was in the Department of Mysteries again, trying to find Sirius before Bellatrix did. He had turned a corridor to see Sirius standing there, his arms open, and Harry had ran to him, but Sirius remained far way, no matter how fast or how hard Harry ran, he never got any closer to Sirius. It went on for what seemed for hours, running and running towards Sirius’s smiling face and outstretched arms. Bellatrix’s laugh echoed all around him as Harry ran until his sweat mixed with his tears; it ended only when a loud clang from the attic above jerked him from his dream, and he awoke in the misty light of dawn, his face stained with tears.
He didn’t want to talk to any of them; he couldn’t see how they could help. He just wanted to walk. And so he did. He looked up bitterly at the shining April sun, and moved into the shade of the nearby trees. He wished it would rain, thinking it was quite indecent for the weather to be so pleasant when he felt dead inside.
It wasn’t long until Harry’s feet had carried him all the way to the nearby village. He heard the busy chatter of men and women taking care of their regular errands, and the shouts of small children playing by the shop fronts. Deciding that he wouldn’t mind getting lost in the crowd, Harry headed towards the inner streets of the village. He had been here once before, with the Weasleys; it was not a wizarding village like Hogsmeade, but a small Muggle town. There was a post office, a grocer, a pharmacy, as well as a few clothing shops and some pubs. Harry knew that there were one or two places of interest for a witch or wizard, but he had no clue where they might be and didn’t see the need to go to such a place anyhow.
Harry walked down the bustling street of Muggles, not really quite sure of where he was headed. A boy about Harry’s age passed him on roller-skates, and Harry barely dodged him. He decided it might make more sense to go inside, and he quickly came across a small coffee shop, and entered. He thought of getting something, but realized he had no Muggle money, so instead just sat down.
To his immense surprise, sitting directly across from him was Luna Lovegood. He quickly averted his eyes, hoping she hadn’t spotted him, but his attempt was in vain.
“Harry,” she said, sounding mildly surprised herself. “How interesting to run into you…”
She immediately moved over to Harry’s table.
“What are you doing here all by yourself?” she asked.
“Went for a walk…” Harry muttered. He looked up at her, she had been reading a book, right side up, and she was dressed in Muggle clothing. She had a pencil in her ear, and she was eating a chocolate muffin.
“What are you doing here?” he asked her, purely out of curiosity. He knew that Luna and her father lived near the Weasleys, but it didn’t make much sense to him why she would be sitting in a Muggle village alone in a coffee-shop.
“I’m waiting for someone,” she said, glancing out the window behind Harry. “Besides, it’s interesting to watch Muggles “ they’re quite different from us, you know…”
Harry just nodded; he had always felt that Luna was quite different from everyone. He didn’t give much thought to who she might be waiting for.
“Would you like something?” she asked him. “I have Muggle money…”
“No, it’s alright, I’m fine thank you…” he said, then turned and looked out the window, hoping she’d take a hint.
“What happened?” Luna asked him.
“Excuse me?” Harry asked.
“Something’s wrong with you “ you’re upset.”
“I’d rather not discuss it…” Harry answered somewhat rudely.
“Very well then,” Luna said, not sounding mildly insulted. She didn’t move though, she just opened her book again and hummed softly as she read. Harry didn’t really mind that she was there, as long as she didn’t ask him any more questions.
“They’re probably worried about you, you know…” Luna said after a few minutes.
“What are you talking about, Luna?” Harry asked.
“You’re staying with the Weasleys aren’t you?” she said. “They’ll be worried about you “ just leaving, not telling anyone where you’re going. They’re probably in a right state. Not to mention you were upset when you left.”
“How do you “”
“It’s obvious,” Luna said. She was quiet again for a minute, watching him. She looked out the window again.
“You know they only want to help…”
“What?” Harry snapped impatiently.
“Your friends; they only want to help “ you should let them help…”
Harry just stared at her, his mouth hanging open.
“I’ll see you later, Harry,” she said. She then got up and left the shop. There was a small tinkle of bells as the door closed behind her. Harry heaved a frustrated sigh, and stood up to leave the shop himself. He went outside and started at the sight that beheld him: Luna, standing with Ginny and Katie. They all watched him somewhat apprehensively. Luna said a quiet ‘your welcome’ to the other two, and left.
“How did you know I’d come here?” Harry asked them.
“We didn’t,” Ginny said. “We just thought we’d cover all our bases “ Luna lives closer to the village than we do, we sent her an owl, and asked her to come here and keep an eye out…”
“Oh, that’s nice “ it’s been a while since someone’s had me followed,” Harry said a little bitterly, but followed them silently back to the Burrow anyway. When the three of them got back, Hermione came rushing out to them, followed closely by Ron.
“Thank goodness!” she said. “Harry, what did you think you were doing, running off like that? You could have been anywhere, what were we supposed to think?”
“I don’t know, maybe that I didn’t feel much like company…” Harry said in a deadened tone, not looking at her.
“Harry “ you can’t keep shutting us out, we only want to help you…” Hermione said.
Harry looked her in the eye now, thinking how he should respond.
Why do you care so much? he thought.
And then, it happened again.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s none of my business “ but I’m not trying to be nosy, I’m just really worried about him…”
“I know Hermione,” Ron said, putting his arms around her. “But his life is a lot harder than ours, we have no idea what he might be going through…”
“I just want to be there for him, but it’s like he just keeps pushing me farther away. I don’t want him to hate me, but I just can’t stop worrying about him…” Hermione said, beginning to cry.
“Maybe if we give him some space, he’ll come around. Try not to worry…”
“I just hope he comes out of all this, I just can’t bear to think what I’d do if I lost him…”
“I know, Hermione. I don’t want to lose him either…”
“Harry?”
Harry looked at Hermione; it was as though he had seen her clearly for the first time in years. He looked up at Ron, who was standing behind Hermione with his hand on her shoulders. Both were watching him with deep concern. Harry felt even more horrible than he did before. He turned and looked at Katie and Ginny, the same look of concern etched into their faces, too.
“I don’t know what to say,” Harry told them. “You all know why I’m upset…”
“Sirius…” Katie said.
“Yes, Sirius.”
“Let’s go inside,” Ron said. They all went back in, and went upstairs to Ron’s bedroom. Harry sat down on his bed and looked at them all again.
“I had a dream last night “ I was at the Department of Mysteries, and I saw Sirius. I kept running to him, but I couldn’t get any closer. I couldn’t get to him, no matter how fast I ran…”
“It’s probably how you feel about the painting, Harry…” Katie said slowly. “You see it there, but it you still aren’t any closer to Sirius. It’s torment.”
Harry nodded.
“So,” Hermione said. “What changed your mind, Harry? Why are you telling us this?”
Harry looked up at Hermione.
“Because I’ve just realized how I’m making you feel,” he said sadly. “Hermione, I’m sorry “ I didn’t mean to shut you out. There are just some things I’ve needed to keep private… until recently.”
Harry looked at Katie, and he knew that she understood what he was talking about.
“Harry, what…” Ron asked.
“I’m a Legilemens,” Harry said. “Its how I was able to see into Voldemort’s mind. And it’s how, just now, I knew what you were thinking Hermione.”
This pronouncement was met with a stunned silence.
“And why didn’t you want to tell us before?” Hermione asked.
“I also found out that I inherited it from my mother; she was a Legilemens, too.” Harry told them. “I guess I just wanted to have something to myself, you know… it was personal.”
“I can understand that, mate…” Ron said sympathetically.
“I’m sorry, if I was rude, Hermione,” Harry apologized. “It’s just tough, you know.”
“Yeah, Harry “ I know,” she said.
“And, just so you know,” he told them. “You’re my best friends, and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost any of you…”
---
The rest of the Easter Holiday passed quickly. Hermione and Katie did not have another chance to visit the Burrow; though Charlotte remained quite sullen and kept her distance from Ron anyway, as though she feared Hermione might show up unexpectedly and hex her.
Before they knew it, they had returned to Hogwarts and were back in class being worked harder than ever. Harry was still upset from the incidents of the week before, and he was still experiencing the same nightmare “ but now he had the increased strength of his friends behind him, and it didn’t hurt so much.
The first Tuesday of their return to school, Harry was sitting in the library researching vampire’s for Professor Lupin’s class, when Madame Pince approached him. Harry quickly searched around him, making sure there were no food or drink products lying near him.
“Mr. Potter, I’ve just receive a message from Professor Dumbledore. He’d like a word, if you’re not busy…”
“Oh, thanks,” he said quietly. He gathered his things and left the library for Dumbledore’s office. On his way out he met Ron.
“Harry, I was wondering “ if you don’t mind… a few of us were going to have a game of Quidditch, and I’d like to have a go on the Firebolt…”
“Sure, it’s under my bed,” Harry told him. “And it better be returned in one piece.”
“Thanks mate,” Ron said, and he hurried off.
Harry continued on to Dumbledore’s office.
“Ice mice,” he told the statue as he arrived, and it moved to let him enter.
“Madam Pince said you wanted to speak with me, Professor?” Harry said to Dumbledore, who was seated at his desk.
“Yes, Harry,” Dumbledore said softly. “Please have a seat.”
Harry sat down.
“I just wanted to talk to you about what happened over Easter Holidays, when you visited Headquarters…”
“Oh, that…”
“Are you alright? Remus told me you were upset…”
“Well, yes,” Harry said. “I’m doing better, though…”
“It must have been very hard on you to see the portrait…”
“Yeah,” Harry said. “But I had to face it sooner or later, didn’t I?”
“Yes “ of course I had hoped it would have been sooner, but at least you got around too it…”
Harry nodded.
“Well, you can return to what you were doing now, Harry,” Dumbledore told him. “I just wanted to check on you.”
“Thanks, Professor,” Harry said. He then stood up to leave, but just as he opened the door, he stopped and turned back to Dumbledore.
“Professor, could you do me a favor?” he asked.
“Depends on what it is you’re asking, Harry…” he replied.
“Well, I was just wondering “ could you have someone, I don’t know… redecorate Grimmauld Place a little? Make it a bit more cheerful looking. Only, the portrait seemed to think it was a good idea, and it’s probably what Sirius would have wanted…”
‘I’ll see to it, Harry…” Dumbledore said. “It is your house, after all…”
“Thank you, Professor,” Harry said, and feeling as though he had been somewhat relieved of a heavy burden, he left the office more at peace than he had entered.