So I'm settled back into school (finally) with a computer AND internet (it's amazing how much you need BOTH of hose to accomplish anything) so these long waits should be stopping, I hope!
I wasn't planning on getting this out until the end of September, but I felt you guys had waited long enough. Also, it's my birthday on the 13th so I figured it was a nice present to give to myself :p
Enjoy!
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Chapter 42 â“ Try To Remember
The last few weeks of school flew by for Harry and Ginny, both of them getting more and more memories each day about the life they never knew could exist. Both them and the rest of the time travelers along with Dumbledore decided that the new memories would come when you thought about that certain point in your life. Harry learned a lot about his growing up years with Remus and Sirius by simply trying to remember his cupboard under the stairs. The dark and depressing Dursley years were almost no affect on Harry anymore, now that he had so many good years to cover those old memories up.
Ginnyâs memories were relatively the same in both timelines, save for one small change. Harry. It seemed Harry had been friends with Ron since they were quite small, but to top that off, Ginny and Harry both had a lot more memories of them playing together when they were small. Harry still had good memories of Ron and Hermione (who he met during his first year), but for some reason Ginny just seemed to be his best friend. Neither of them had quite figured out why yet, but they both hesitated to bring up the subject, neither too keen on remembering the vast difference between their relationship in the old timeline and this new one.
Remus and Sirius both had a lot of changes in their memories, all of them occurring after they had Harry in their care. The first 20 or so years of their life remained unchanged, which they were both grateful for. To top that off, Remus found that he was still romantically attached to Tonks a bit and Sirius proudly announced to the world (while he was drunk) that he was still single and proud of it. Neither them nor Harry had the heart to bring up Arianna or Emily. Dealing too much with the past had weakened their resolve to try and fix it anymore.
The only thing that seemed to not have changed at all was their biggest problem: Voldemort. Harry gathered memories of his school years, piecing together scenes of Voldemort with Quirrll, Tom Riddle in the chamber, Voldemortâs resurrectionâŚit was all more or less the exact same. Of course, Harry knew that he still had defeated Voldemort when he was one, thanks to the scar that still graced his forehead, but both Remus and Sirius didnât seem too keen on the idea of going back and remembering that night to see if everything still happened the same. It was the one memory that neither of them wanted to relive, for fear that they would find the pain and loneliness again.
The constant barrage of memories day after day died down during the last week of school, which Harry was grateful for, as he was sick of having headaches day in and out.
The last day of school he was on his way back up to the Common Room when he spotted Sirius in the Entrance Hall, talking and laughing with Ginny, who, it looked like, had just come out of arguing her final grade with Snape (who still seemed much the same as always and refused to talk to anyone about how his âlovely return journey wentâ, as Sirius put it.)
âHarry!â Ginny waved him over and he smiled brighter as he walked up to them.
âSocial call?â he asked, smiling up at Sirius. Both Sirius and Remus had been busy the past few weeks, between their firecalls and Owls to Harry, he hadnât seen them much. Dumbledore insisted they werenât doing anything illegal, so Harry let them be. Besides, he was going to see them eventually, as they were his legal guardians.
âHardly,â Sirius replied dryly, gathering Harry into a quick hug, something the two of them had become accustomed to almost naturally since their return. âRemus had to discuss something with Albus and I just thought Iâd come and see how my Godson was faring.â
âFancy a walk?â Harry motioned to the inviting doors leading out into the setting sun.
Sirius turned to Ginny. âOh, no, not me,â she backed away, grinning. âIâve got an appointment with Hermione to get blackmail information about where she and Ron were last night. Toodles!â Blowing a kiss at Harry she walked back up the stairs where Harry himself was headed only moments ago.
âQuite a girl,â Sirius commented, a purposeful look at Harry as they walked out the doors.
âDonât I know,â Harry sighed. âLetâs not talk about it.â
Harry saw Sirius smirk but choose to ignore it and they remained in comfortable silence till they reached the lake.
âSirius?â Harry asked quietly.
âHumm?â
âDo you think weâll ever really figure out what was changed?â Harry spoke softly in the dying light of day, unwilling to ruin the silence completely.
âWe just have to wait for more memories to come, I guess,â Sirius relied, shrugging. âBut weâve filled up so much of our past life with memoriesâŚ.itâs hard to figure out what happened and where the change was.â
âWhat about newspapers?â Harry questioned. âLike the ones you showed me in Dumbledoreâs office. Canât we get a clue from them?â
Sirius sighed. âIf we searched long enough and hard enough we could I suppose.â
âHarry! Sirius!â
They both turned quickly as an excited Remus Lupin rushed up to them.
âYou two,â he barely stopped in time to void running them over, âwill never believe what memory I just got.â
Harry cracked a grin. âThe one where Sirius manages to cover you completely in pumpkin pastries?â
âOr the one where Harry found you wand when he was two and turned your desk into an elephant?â Sirius joined in.
Remus managed to at least look slightly embaressed, but he snapped out of it quickly and shook his head. âNoâŚâ he paused. âThe night Lily and James were killedâŚâ
All three of them went deathly silent, the smiles dropping from Harry and Siriusâ faces.
âRemus-â
âSirius, trust me,â Remus emphasized. âI didnât want to think about it eitherâŚâ Remusâ face held more excitement than Harry had ever seen. âJust try to remember, Padfoot,â Remusâs voice softened. âThink about what happened.â
Harry watched carefully as Siriusâ expression changed from disbelief, to skepticism and finallyâŚto hope.
Suddenly Sirius shut his eyes tight, raised a hand up to hold his head and Harry held his breath as his Godfather remembered.
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âNo cy, PafooâŚNo cyâŚâ
Sirius knelt in the rubble of his best friendâs house, tears running down his face as he scooped up little Harry Potter.
âOh MerlinâŚHarry, youâre aliveâŚOh, GodâŚâ Tears streamed down his face and he brought the small one-year-old into a crushing hug, holding him tightly and having no intention of ever letting him go.
When he finally relaxed a bit, he pulled back enough to get a good look at Harry, still amazed that he was alive. But he started a bit when he saw a large amount of blood streaming down Harryâs face. Panicking, he tried to wipe some of it off gently with the sleeve of his robe, quite ignoring Harryâs whimpers when the blood slowly evolved into a curious lightning bolt shaped cut across the babyâs forehead.
âHarry?â Sirius whispered, glancing down at the oblivious baby who was getting quite fed up with his Godfather ignoring his cries and started whining a bit.
Sirius, though, was too confused at the moment to do much more than hold Harry tighter to him and glance around suspiciously.
âSirius?â
Sirius turned abruptly, pointing his wand harshly out towards the voice, clinging tightly to Harry with his other arm.
Realizing who it was, though, he quickly lowered the wand, but didnât pocket it.
âHargid? What are you doing here?â
The massive form of Rubeus Hagrid came out of the shadows, Sirius could see the tears already falling down the half-giantâs face.
âDumbledore senâ me,â Hagrid sniffed. âThe Pottârâs wards wenâ down and Dumbledore was afrâdâŚâ He stopped suddenly, seeing the bundle in Siriusâ arms.
âSiriusâŚis that?â
Sirius reflexively held Harry closer. âYeah, Harryâs alive Hagrid. Donât ask me how because I have no clue, but heâs alive.â
âSo Lily and JamesâŚ.â
Sirius blinked back the tears and looked down, shaking his head.
Hagridâs howls interrupted the ghostly quiet night and Sirius stepped back a bit, wiping his tears away and keeping a hold on Harry and his wand.
âGo back to Dumbledore, Hagrid,â Sirius told him forcefully. âTell him it wasnât me.â He continued to back up towards his bike. He had no idea how much Dumbledore knew, but he wasnât going to let Peter get away with this, not this time. âTell him to find Peter. Tell him we switched.â
Hagrid didnât seem to understand any of those directions. âWhaâ are you talkinâ abouâ, Sirius? Listen, Iâve go ter take âarry. Dumbledore told me to bring back anyone who was alive.â
âNo!â Sirius said more forcefully. âIâm his Godfather!â
âSirius, Dumbledoreâll make things right. I got me orders..â
âIâm sorry, Hagrid,â Sirius regretfully said, finally reaching his motorbike and swinging one leg over. âDonât worry, Iâll keep Harry safe. Just remember what I told you to tell Dumbledore.â
And without another word, Sirius kicked off on his motorbike, heading towards the last person in the world he knew would believe him.
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Siriusâ eyes snapped open in the middle of the memory and his gaze snapped up to meet Remusâ.
Both of them turned to look down at Harry.
âLetâs get a pensive,â Sirius said, thinking quickly.
He wasnât watching the rest of this without his Godson.
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Siriusâ motorbike hit the ground harder than normal, but Sirius just jumped off instantly, not caring about his bike anymore. He rushed up to the front door of the small cottage, Harry now sleeping fitfully in his arms, the blood dried over his forehead and the scar standing out even more.
Banging on the door loudly with one fist, Sirius cried out, âRemus! REMUS!â
He kept banging frantically for a few moments before finally giving up, kicking the door and swearing loudly. His pounding had woken Harry up and he was now fussing a bit, attracting Siriusâ attention.
Turning a bit softer towards the baby, Sirius sat carefully down on Remusâ front step, he held Harry out in front of him so that he could see his face. Harry always seemed to stop crying when he could see Siriusâ face or Jamesâ face. Some keen fascination with their imperfections, no doubt. But Sirius never minded.
With Harry quiet again, he gazed around, mind racking with what his next move would be.
A loud and close howl sounded and Sirius shot to his feet, shaking more with anxiety than fright. His wand was automatically in his hand and he turned around quickly, realizing the howl had come from the house behind him.
Reality hit, and just when Sirius thought he could not feel any more guilty, he did.
His gaze traveled to the bright glowing sphere that hung above the house.
A full moon.
More tears threatened to fall and he pulled Harry towards him, trying to block out the sounds he could now hear coming from the house.
âHe locked himself in his cellarâŚâ he whispered, whether to himself or to Harry he didnât know. All he knew was that he had to do somethingâŚ.anything.
He could not make this decision, he could not!
He remembered the times Remus talked to him about his transformationsâŚthe pain, the lonelinessâŚthe agony. He had hardly seen Remus the past few weeksâŚwas this the first transformation that his friend would have to go through alone since his school days?
But PeterâŚPeter the rat was out there somewhere. Peter, the man who had betrayed them all, the one who had led Lily and James to their deaths, who had turnedâŚ.Merlin, Peter was the one who had turned Sirius against Remus. The very thought of Remus being a spy now would have been humorousâŚIf Sirius had not been so afraid.
There, he admitted it to himself, he was afraid.
He was afraid for Remus, being alone the whole night. He was afraid for Harry and what his future held for him. He was afraid of what had happened to VoldemortâŚwhere was the bloody coward?âŚHe was afraid of what Dumbledore would believeâŚHell, he was afraid of what Remus would believeâŚ
Throughout his life, Sirius knew of one place he could always go when he was in trouble. He had seen people use its walls as a safety from parents to Lord Voldemort.
Trying to block out the howls that still invaded his ears, and quite forgetting his prize bike that lay on the ground only a few feet behind him, Sirius held Harry tight and apparated to safety. To the last chance he had to fix this before it got any worse.
A blink of an eye later, he opened his eyes and looked up at Hogwarts.
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Harry could hardly believe the events he was seeing.
He stood close to his Godfather as he watched a younger Sirius Black rescue little Harry Potter from the rubble of Number 3 Godricâs Hollow.
He saw Sirius deal with the anguish of not being able to help Remus during a full moon and his desperate escape to Hogwarts.
He held Siriusâ hand as his Godfather watched his younger self plead his case to Dumbledore, all the while refusing to let go of the baby Harry.
He watched in tears as Sirius went to Remus the next morning, the two friends reuniting after almost a month of separation, only to have the death of their best friend hanging over them.
He watched as Dumbledore fought for Siriusâ trial, and the glorious day when Pettigrew was found and Sirius sobbed as he signed the files to become Harryâs legal guardian.
He watched as Remus and Sirius went to the Dursleyâs to pick baby Harry up from his temporary housing.
As the memory finally vanished and Harry found himself standing back in Dumbledoreâs office.
Without a word, he threw himself into his Godfatherâs arms, tears running down both their faces.
âYou didnât leave me,â Harry whispered. âThatâs what changedâŚyou didnât leave me with Hagrid that nightâŚâ
In response Sirius only held him tighter.
âYou didnât leave meâŚâ Harryâs voice cracked.
Siriusâ voice dropped so low that only Harry could hear.
âAnd I never will, EmeraldsâŚI never will.â
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Next time:
Harry and Ginny. maybe a bit more about voldemort and a cameo from him ;)