“Queen to E-3,” said Ron. He and Harry had started up a game of chess when they returned to the common room after the cow fiasco. Ron was, as usual, beating Harry quite soundly.
“How can you be so relaxed at a time like this?” Hermione asked, fiddling absent-mindedly with the tape on her arm.
“A time like what?” said Ron. He looked at his watch. “It’s only 8:15.”
“It’s not that, it’s everything that’s been happening these last couple of days. Doesn’t this seem weird to you?”
“Hermione,” Harry said as he examined the board, “everything in this school is weird. Ron’s right, we shouldn’t worry.”
“When did I say that?” interjected Ron.
“You didn’t, I just inferred it from your off-handed comment.”
“It wasn’t off-handed, I was being truthful. It’s about a quarter after eight.”
“No,” said Hermione, “you’re both being stupid and far too casual about all this. I’m going to the library.” And she stalked out of the common room.
“What’s her problem now?” asked Harry.
“I dunno,” said Ron, nudging his knight forward. “Checkmate.”
“Not again.”
As it turned out, Hermione definitely had something on her mind. She went to the library when she had any spare time and it seemed she was trying to read half of it by the end of the month. She could always be found behind an obscuring pile of books in the common room at night. Well, a larger pile than usual.
“I wonder what she’s up to,” said Ron Sunday evening. Hermione had tossed aside a particularly large volume, picked up an even larger one and started flipping through it.
“Do you think this has anything to do with that Power of Suggestion thing?” asked Harry.
“Well, obviously. She’s the first one it affected.”
“I wonder what she’s found so far.”
“Probably not a whole lot,” Ron commented. “I’ve heard it’s a very tricky spell; you never know when it’ll kick in or what it’ll do.”
“So I could say Snape’ll get something stuck in his ear and Dumbledore waltzes down the halls and nothing could happen,” said Harry.
“Or everything could happen. Which could be funny.”
Monday morning dawned, and all too soon breakfast had ended and the students were going off to their first class of the day. The trio headed down the stairs to the dungeons for Potions, Ron grumbling all the way. They arrived in the cold, damp classroom and took their usual seats at the back.
“Hey…”said Ron. “Doesn’t Snape usually let us in the room?”
“You’re right,” said Harry. “I guess he just left the door open.”
“Well, he’s running late,” said Hermione.
“Maybe something fell on him,” Ron muttered to Harry.
“Hope it was heavy,” Harry muttered back and they burst into a fit of half-stifled snickering.
Hermione was about to tell them off when the door was thrown open and Snape stormed in. He was obviously in a worse mood than he normally was. The class fell silent at once. Snape reached the front of the room and turned around sharply.
At first, Harry thought that Snape’s oily hair was getting a touch out of control. But what Harry had thought was hair was actually a pair of cords, one running from each ear. They eventually met and ran into Snape’s pocket. It was obvious that he was trying (rather futilely) to hide this. It was also obvious that Harry wasn’t the only person who had noticed it. Some of the class was trying to suppress looks of confusion, while others tried to suppress laughter.
Snape glowered at the students. “We will be continuing our work from last time. You’d better know what to do.” He waved his wand and the cabinets opened and the instructions appeared on the board. He then sat down heavily behind his desk and scowled some more.
“What do you think his problem is?” Ron asked after they’d gotten their ingredients. Harry stifled a laugh and Hermione smiled.
“He’s wearing headphones,” she explained. “Snape must not be a big fan of music.” At the puzzled look on Ron’s face, she sighed and continued, “See that thing on his desk?” Snape had just produced a round, flat object from his pocket and was prodding it with his wand. “That’s a CD player. Wonder why it works here, though.”
“Why wouldn’t it?” said Ron.
“It’s a Muggle electronic. I’ve told you at least forty times, they don’t work at Hogwarts.”
“So what’re headphones?”
“They go over your ears so only you hear the music.”
“Okay, so why doesn’t he take them off?”
“I don’t think he can,” said Harry. Ron and Hermione looked round at him. “Remember what I said last night, Ron? About Snape getting something stuck in his ear?”
“Oh yeah…and something about Dumbledore waltzing.”
“Harry!” Hermione admonished. “You know how dangerous that was; I swear you two can be so thick sometimes!” She turned to her cauldron and didn’t say another word for the rest of the class.
Hermione’s stony silence continued through lunch. She finished early and left for Defense Against the Dark Arts while Harry and Ron were still eating.
“What do you reckon her problem is lately?” asked Ron through a mouthful of turkey sandwich.
“Don’t know, nor do I think she’ll tell us,” replied Harry.
They soon finished lunch and headed after Hermione to class. When they reached the hallway outside the classroom door, they saw Hermione there waiting. Rather than the chilly greeting Harry and Ron expected, Hermione seemed to be anxious for them to arrive. They met her at the door, and she whispered “Listen!”
Ron and Harry listened. There were voices that were luckily speaking loud enough for them to hear, as the voices were talking over loud music.
“It’s been stuck on that one for the last hour, it’s driving me insane!” yelled someone. It sounded like Snape.
“Well, I don’t know how to work it!” sounded another voice. It sounded like Professor Arbitrare.
“I hate to interrupt, but I am getting tired of this one,” called out the last voice. It sounded like Dumbledore, only bouncing up and down.
“Um, maybe this thing?” said Arbitrare. The music got massively louder. “Oops, guess not.”
The trio, being entirely too curious for their own good, opened the door to a very strange sight.
Snape had unplugged his headphones from the CD player, which was in Professor Arbitrare’s hands. It was currently playing “Yellow Submarine” at far too high a decibel level to maintain hearing or sanity. Dumbledore was doing a kind of jig in time with the music. They all turned when the trio entered the room.
“Wonderful,” sneered Snape. “Just who we needed to show up.” He turned back to Professor Arbitrare. “Give me that!” He snatched up the CD player and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. Far from wrecking it, the sudden jolt just made it skip the track to a hip-hop mix.
“Oh dear,” muttered Dumbledore, who started to dance to this song now.
“We’ve got to stop that thing!” Snape shouted.
“I’m open to suggestions!” yelled back Arbitrare.
“Maybe you should look at it!” called out Ron.
“Stay out of this, Weasley!”
“Hey, at least he’s trying to help, instead of complaining!”
“Alright, that does it!” Snape took the cord from his headphones, which was now hanging freely, and started to choke Professor Arbitrare with it.
“Glllggggghhhh!”
“Gentlemen, please!” shouted Dumbledore, who had starting spinning on the floor in a furious break-dance.
“Gaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhh!”
“Oh, honestly!” exclaimed Hermione. She went to where Snape threw the CD player.
“Guuuuuurrrrmmpphhlllll!”
“You know, I think Hermione’s got it figured out!” announced Harry.
“Guuuuuullllllluulll!”
The music suddenly stopped. Everyone in the room also stopped: Dumbledore halfway through a spin, Snape pulling on the cord around Professor Arbitrare’s throat, Arbitrare pulling back, and Harry and Ron just standing there. They all looked at Hermione. She was holding the CD player, which finally had fallen silent.
“What did you do, Hermione?” Ron asked.
She shrugged. “I hit stop.”
Everyone else blinked. Then Snape dropped Professor Arbitrare to the floor, swept over to Hermione, took the CD player out of her hands and put it back into his pocket as he moved toward the door. He stopped at the entryway. “Five points from Gryffindor for not thinking of that sooner.” And he left the room.
Dumbledore, meanwhile, was getting up and brushing the dust from his robes. “Well, that was invigorating.” Professor Arbitrare, on the floor gasping for air, waved his hand slightly. “Yes, you’re absolutely right, Professor. Ten points to Gryffindor for ending all that.” Dumbledore paused a moment in his self dusting.
“I do believe I need a drink,” he said, and exited the classroom.
As always, keep reviewing! More ideas are always welcome.
Imaginative insanity knows no bounds. Particularly mine. Example: I was in London the other day having pie, when I was actually in the U.S. Freaky.
Chappie 4 Preview! Aren't you lucky?
CHAPTER 4: Knights of the Wrong Table
“Why can’t one day be normal around here?” Harry asked grumpily as the trio headed back to the common room after dinner. Harry was asking grumpily because a rampant flock of pelicans had tied to impale him. He’d only managed to avoid them by ducking behind a large box of light bulbs.
“This is Hogwarts, mate,” said Ron, brushing filaments and glass off of his robes. “Nothing’s ever normal here.”
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So there's the preview. Short I know, but that's as far as I am. I know, I know, for shame. But I've been busy, and um...yeah. So deal. The rest will soon follow.