They had been talking for a time now when suddenly the storm outside took a fierce turn. The trees of the forest threw their branches into the air as if they were trying to signal the castle for help. Ripples turned into violent waves on the usually reverent surface of the Black Lake.
Rain splattered obnoxiously against the windows of the Hospital Wing. Addalynn turned her head to see raging storm. Flashes of lightning lit up her pale face and Sirius noticed the dark circles around her eyes. Her lips were chapped and redder than ever; the roses in her cheeks had faded into a barren desert of sand as pale as death. When she turned her eyes back to him, he saw a biting worry in their depths.
"Sirius, when Madame Pomfrey asked me this morning if I remembered anything from last night, I lied when I said that I didn't," she said flatly. Her eyes dimmed with shame, "Well at least I didn't remember at the time. But after a while I started seeing images. At first they were vague, but they soon became clear in what I saw and what I heard. Just as if it were a memory from one's childhood. A fleeting moment in an infinite timeline and the tide keeps carrying you away from it- always just at your fingertips."
Sirius knit his brow together causing lines deep with worry to crease on his forehead. He leaned forward from his spot on the bed across from her. Looking directly into her eyes he asked, "And what did you see, Addie?"
She did not answer at first, but rather took a sudden interest in the floor. Slowly she lifted her legs from over the bed and crossed them on top of the sheets. She laid her hands in her lap, clasped together so tightly that the skin over her knuckles became white. She forced her eyes shut as she remembered. Her arms began to shake with nervousness as she forced her hands together.
Sirius kneeled on the floor in front of her and took her cold hands in his own. "Addie, what did you see?" he asked, looking at her with eyes as gray and dark as the storm.
"I saw…..I saw him." He raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, and let her continue. "He was with his followers. Only about three- four at the most. They told me things…things about my family, about…..about what would happen to me…"
"Who were these people, Addie? What did they tell you?" Sirius prodded.
"Voldemort….Voldemort and his Death Eaters."
This had captured Sirius' attention for sure. Voldemort- what could she possibly have to do with him? Surely her parents weren't his spies?
"They had captured me for some reason or another. He said…he said that I would one day become something useful- that I would help him." Though here eyes remained shut, tears ran lazily down her face. Sirius gripped her frail hands tighter as she began to shake more violently.
"He claimed that I would learn to hate as he does….I would learn to kill as he does. He said he would train me to use my talents…talents passed down through my family," she cracked. The usually melodious and deep voice she had now ran dry with emotion. It broke with every other word, as if her soul was dry wood being snapped in half. "He beat me without hesitancy. The Death Eaters cursed me. Voldemort said it was all to make me hate him. I asked him why. He said it would make me stronger."
She paused for a ragged breath of air that shook her whole body as the oxygen forced itself down her throat. Teeth tightly clenched, more tears forced themselves from her eyes.
"Then he pulled me close to him and whispered in my ear, 'You will destroy them, Addalynn because you have no choice'. I asked….I asked him who, and he just smiled. Oh that smile! So malevolent….so haunting….like a snake!"
Cries of helplessness tore themselves softly from her lips as she sobbed. He rubbed the back of her hands with his thumbs to try and calm her down.
"What else, Addie?"
"He…he beat me again. He laughed every time I screamed. His laugh," she spat, "it was worse than his smile…They all yelled at me. The same thing…..over and over again. All yelled the same thing….'we will come for you when you are ready', they said. 'When you have learned to hate' they told me. Each of them looked me in the eye and told me this."
A giant sob racked her body after that and she continued shaking. The rain was now smooth and comforting, though the thunder remained. She began to calm down as she listened to the rain against the window, soft and melodious- like a Muggle wind-chime in a summer breeze. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked as Sirius.
"But I don't think it was a dream," she said. She looked away for a moment, allowing him time to accept her theory before she completed her thought. When she looked back at him, her eyes had undergone such a terrifying transformation that it was hard to know that it was Addalynn White who sat before him.
They were not distant or forward. They did not shine with laughter as they sometimes did or glow with thought when she listened. Nor did they flame nefariously as they did when she was angry. The philosophical look he had become used to that had shown the world her aged soul, had faded completely and left behind a young, lonely, frightened teenage girl. Her eyes were now haunted and fearful. They were screaming at him, begging him to help her.
Then, in a shaky whisper, she said, "I think it was a memory. A horrifying, suppressed memory from my childhood. Every time I think about it I can feel fear coursing through my heart like a rabid hunger forcing my body to surrender to its needs. It turned by blood to fire and it burned….it still burns…."
He couldn't take it any more. Sirius pulled himself up next to her and pulled her into his arms. She buried her face into his chest as her own arms encircled his neck. He pressed his lips to her hair and rocked her gently back and forth. He gripped her firmly, building a wall of everlasting protection around her, and he let her cry.
"It's alright, Addie. It's alright…"
After she had quieted down a bit, she pulled her head up and looked at him. She saw tears running down the sides of his face as well.
"I think I'm beginning to remember what happened to family. How they died," she said.
She saw his beautiful gray eyes storm with grief. It broke her heart to see that he cared so much for her.
"Tell me what happened-"
"No, Sirius. I shouldn't be burdening you with such silly troubles. Leave. Leave and forget about all of this; pretend we'd never met," she ordered.
"No, I will not and I never shall. I already love you too much- you're my friend," Sirius cracked. "I may just be an average teenage bloke, but I know about loyalty. I cannot break such a bond. I especially can't break it now that I've sworn myself to help you. It's the law of friendship after all."
"I think this is why I thought joining the student body here at Hogwarts was a bad idea from the start…" Addalynn whispered.
Sirius gave her a gentle squeeze and smoothed out her hair. It was strange having a female friend but it gave him a purpose unlike that of any that he had gotten from James, Remus, and Peter. This was a sort of chivalric purpose.
"I'm glad that I'm friends with you. Now that I've grown so attached to you in this short time, I can't imagine what this year would have been like so far without you," he said with purpose in his voice. "Now tell me what happened."
He encouraged her with a gentle pat on her back. She took in as deep a breath as her body could handle and prepared to remember that night and all the details.
"There was a raid on my town one night- I remember the flames and the screaming of our neighbors. The hotel was in an uproar. All the guests were running around frantically. The Muggles were confused and most of the wizards helped Daddy hold of the Death Eaters," she wiped an imaginary tear from her eye, afraid she would break down again. "I remember my mother ordering my brother and me to the back door of the hotel and to go out to the cabin in the woods that we took summer camping trips in. My brother, Caleb, was pulling me by the hand through the servant's corridors. I don't think I really understood what was happening. I mostly remember the screaming and the flashing lights. We were in halfway between the cabin and the hotel when I heard someone run up behind Caleb and took him. He yelled for me to keep running. I didn't want to leave him but I was too scared to turn back, so I kept running. The last thing I remember was running into the cabin and shutting the door behind me."
Now, leaning further onto Sirius' chest, she let herself breathe again, a little more deeply this time. It was still raspy but at least it got itself into her lungs. She no longer felt cold now that Sirius was keeping her safe and her blood did not burn so much now. Having his arms around her gave her hope. It wasn't much hope, but it was hers.
He heard her, just barely, whisper into his chest, "You asked me only a few days ago what I was hiding, Sirius. I guess this was it. Are you still angry? Or are you now doubtful of my loyalty to you, my friend, after I have kept so many secrets?"
"I am so sorry, Addie. I'm so sorry…"
"No, I am. I am learning to hate, Sirius. I'm afraid of what I will do. I am sorry."
"You have no control over what they tell you, Addie, but I do not believe you will become what they wish you to become."
"But, Sirius, I have already begun the transformation. Each day I discover more power and I can feel it running through my very soul, reaching to the surface. And I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of myself. I have become a harbor for fear and a stronghold for malice…"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Several hours later, after tucking in a sleeping Addalynn safely beneath her warm covers, Sirius returned to the Gryffindor common room, hoping that a roaring fires was lit in the grand hearth to fight the chilled, damp air.
A flood of warmth wrapped around his body as he stepped through the portrait hole. There, sitting in their respective chairs, were James and Remus. Thankful for the warmth and company, Sirius crashed onto the couch and stared at the flames.
"Well, Padfoot, how is she?" asked Remus.
Sirius sighed heavily and retreated further back into the musty cushions. He pulled his hands over his face and let his head sink back. Remus shot a confused glance at James, who leaned forward with interest.
After straightening himself back up, Sirius said, "Not well."
"What do you mean, Padfoot?" James pressed.
"She told me about the nightmare she had last night," he paused to gather his words, wringing his hands together, "and she confided in me about its meaning."
He retold everything to Remus and James that Addalynn had told him. Salty tears ran down Sirius' face as his voice began to crumble under the distress. After he was finished, Sirius looked up at them to see the expression on their faces.
Remus was pale, his gold eyes dark with disbelief. The scars on the side of his face stood out hauntingly against the flames of the fireplace as they danced around on his skin. His jaw was pulled tight as if he was trying not to cry out in frustration.
James' face wasn't visible as his head was buried in his hands. But he whispered something just barely audible, "She is supposed to be used for Voldemort's domination, then?"
"It's what she told me, Prongs."
"Addalynn, though? She just doesn't seem the type to do something like that….are you sure this was a memory of hers?" asked Remus.
"I'm sure, Moony. The way she said it, the sureness in her voice, the truth and fear in her eyes as she looked at me was too real to doubt," Sirius answered. "I can't explain everything…she'll have to tell us when Madam Pomfrey decides to let her leave."
The three nodded in agreement.
"It still worries me though. Why would Voldemort tell that to a child? Why would he even do something so……so strange?" James pondered aloud.
"Because he can," answered Sirius.
"Or maybe there's something in Addalynn he sees that we don't," Remus said quietly. The other two looked at him accusingly. "I've seen something in her eyes whenever someone speaks of death or when she hears of the war. It's not something good either- it's something terrible, menacing."
"And only you have noticed this?" asked James.
"Yes."
"Then why has no one else?"
"I think it's because some part of Addalynn wanted only me to know. She knew that I had a secret so she thought she could tell me hers."
James looked away to the window with a defeated look. He spoke solemnly, half to himself and half to his best mates, "There really is a war coming. It's already started. I know the final stages are drawing upon us more rapidly each day." He paused a moment before continuing, "It's time we stopped pretending that Hogwarts is a world apart from everything else."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Only an hour or so later, Addalynn appeared in the Common Room just as the fire was reduced to glowing embers. The Marauders, thank heaven, were still awake. They didn't notice her at first, standing off to the side with her arms crossed securely over her chest wearing only a thin nightgown. But without fail Remus made an abrupt move with his head that caught the other two's attention, and they also turned their heads in the direction Remus was staring.
Before anyone said anything, Addalynn muttered something incoherently and began to shake. Sirius stood and led her to the couch with his arm around her shoulders. "What was that, Addie?"
"I'm scared…" she whispered."My nightmares- they won't go away."
James looked at her intently, "What nightmares?"
Remus watched with perfect attention, his ears perked for every word, every emotion. The glow from the fireplace illuminated her ever-pale face. Her raven hair- as black and dull as death- hung heavily around her face.