Cruelly it rang, mocking her thoughts. It said to her that there are things that she will never know and things she cannot change. That every waking moment would pass by with, or without her consent. It grimly reminded her of what was, and what can never be. Each chime called out to her; “what foolishness”, they said.
Ding! Ding… ding…… ding………… ding……………
Every chime metallically echoed of the cold stone walls. They were taunting her with great pleasure. She had no power to stop them, they amounted to more than she could ever imagine. Their job was important; they kept the time.
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
It dragged on forever it seemed like. Its sound was mournful, yet refreshing. Something new was starting, the next day was beginning; but for something to begin, something before it must die. It meant there was a chance to start again. She could see it in her mind’s eye; the sun rising magnificently over the horizon of mountains that surrounded the lake and the moon fading into nothing, the colors of the sky like a painting and the black cover of night vanished to a place that no one has dared to go, the trees’ leaves turning to reds and yellows just before their fall of death to the ground below, and the sweet smell of dew on the grass blades reminding the rest of the world that during the night, things healed in a place where all dark fears are confronted. But with every new day came a chance to mess everything up. All a new day is is another chance to try, and another chance to fail or succeed, a trial of sorts; but the outcome is elusive until it sees fit to appear.
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
“You cannot go back…”, they said, “What is done is done. And you are powerless to change it…”. Their cruel words lingered in her ears. She did not know what they referred to in their cryptic message, but still she listened. She began to loose the distinction between the bells’ words and her own. She searched for a place to hide, her eyes wandering and her legs frozen. Their vile mockery became her own thoughts and she couldn’t turn their sweet sounding voices away.
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
She attempted concentrating on other, happier, thoughts; the thought of the next day, and the day after. Time goes on doesn’t it? It never stops; it has a constant rhythm that the flow of life depends on. It speeds up and slows down when called for.
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
It stops life without thinking and creates life without acknowledgement. Yet it brings joy to those who live and peace to those who die. But it annoyingly tags along behind those who try to escape it and eludes those who try to find it: and she was in the middle with no exit. It was an endless corridor of nothingness. The darkness, blacker than night, went on forever like the passage to a tomb. There were no walls, no doors, no floors, and no ceiling; there was no exit but many entrances, the perfect trap.
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
She could see a thousand years and wish for death, or die tomorrow and wish for life. But it wasn’t her choice. Fate, if such a thing exists, does not cradle itself safely in her arms. Her heart started to beat more rapidly, raising more and more questions to her mind. What if I die tomorrow? What if I’m forgotten? What if I live to be the last person on earth and am all alone? What if I lose my mind to the cruel grasp of insanity? What if I can’t even remember my own name in old age? What if I get lost in time and can’t find my way back? What if-
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
"Face it Addalynn, you who likes to know everything can’t handle the fact that there are some things that can’t be known. All your life you’ve turned to the most logical of explanations, and now there isn’t one. For once in your life, Addalynn Rose White, you have no answer; logical or not," they told her. Everything they said was true. Her entire thought pattern consisted of a blend of logic and imagination and so far, she’s come up with the answer to every question that has dared to challenge her. All except for one.
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
But there has to be an answer. Every question has an answer…doesn’t it? But what if this question had no answer…or what if its answer was that there wasn’t one? Or maybe the answer was so simple no one would dare to think of it.
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
The answer was getting closer- she could feel it. But it was so close out of reach that her fingertips could only brush the surface of it. She stood with arms crossed and stared up into the heavens searching for something that could not be found. Tears made her crystal eyes glisten beautifully. They gently fell down over her rosy cheeks and to her chin. They wouldn’t stop flowing until she found an answer; an answer that she could believe in. Her tears would flow on to create rivers and oceans, eventually evaporate into clouds, and would finally bring the healing rain to the earth. Water is a powerful thing; it could destroy or heal. Her tears would heal and wound all who saw them. But now, she needed an answer to the unanswerable question. She needed the key to her past however elusive it may be. For the time being, she would have to be satisfied with more questions.
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
Life is like water, it flows and it has a pulse; like the waves of an ocean. It creates and destroys like the rain that falls in springtime, bringing the flowers of April back to life, or destroying thousands of lives like the fury of the summer hurricanes and angry floods. Life has a time to it, in a sense. We have given life years, counted by the 365 and 1/4 days to which we live our daily lives. People are born and people die, it’s the natural cycle that God has given this world. But it has time, it doesn’t just exist. It also has a rhythm and it too speeds us and slows down when called for. And yet some grow old early and others stay young long. Why is this? No one stays young forever and no one lives forever.
Ding! Ding…ding……ding…………ding……………
The chime of the mighty bells rang in rage; offended that she was unraveling the unknown mystery behind everything, behind every question ever asked. Their monstrous melody of echoes were louder than ever. The theory of time travel is that one can go back in time to any moment. But what if all one needed to do was remember, to go back in time. What if that was the answer to time travel? No...it couldn’t be that simple…could it? It certainly was a possibility. So I can go back if I want to. Time does go on forever until all living things stop living. Time has no measure, it is simply what we make it. One day may seem excruciatingly long to one person and happily short to another; even if their days experience was exactly the same. It’s all a matter of perspective. You cannot escape time because you are alive, and there is an exit; when you die. There is no logical explanation, because the whole concept of time is entirely illogical and imaginative. Time both heals wounds and creates them. Time is of the moment because that’s all we can experience. What we call the past is just a memory now, and we can go back to that memory any time we want to. The future is what we either hope for or what we fear will be, but we can never know what is going to happen. The moment that we presently live in are the pulses in the veins of time, always moving. But just like the beat of the heart during happiness, it is steady and life goes smoothly. When the heart beats during stress or anxiousness, time goes by more slowly, almost unmoving. The heart will slow down during comforting contentment, and time will go by too quickly, not staying long enough to be thoroughly enjoyed. That was the answer. Life:: Time:: :: Time:: Life.
But this gave her no comfort because she didn’t want to believe that for all good things had to be things bad. She could not escape time by death, for the life that came after her would remember her in loss. A shadow would be added to the world and everyone would see. Time would forever haunt them because of memory; because of the past that they remembered and would pass down in the future. The memory of her would linger in the minds of all who had known her when she dies. She knew what they would remember before the end. And she cried even harder; she had found the answer to every question but her own.
~*~
Her face was stained with tears now. Bangs sticking to her forehead, caught in the wetness of her eyes. She hugged her chest even tighter with her arms to try and feel secure as she agonizingly, and slowly sank to her knees as if in slow motion; tears still falling. But there was something she didn’t know, a mystery she hadn't caught: there was a boy her age standing in the dark corridor behind her, watching her tears fall and her weak body sink to the ground. He watched as her hazel eyes reflected the moonlight and shined silver like the moon itself. He saw her curly silk black hair flow down her back and he heard her whimpering breaths between crying sobs. He wasn’t one to pity or feel sorry for another person. He was the person everyone kept their distance from. But tonight, watching this suffering girl fall to the ground helplessly, stirred something in his stone heart. It softened him a bit. His cold eyes looked upon her and all he wanted to do was cradle her in his arms; but he knew he couldn’t. To allow himself to do so would be treacherous. Friends were not a luxury he was accustomed to, but tonight was different. This girl wasn’t like everyone else he knew. There was a connection between them, a dark one, but still a connection. He noticed she was close to unconsciousness, and against his better judgment, he went to her and lifted her to her feet. He took her hand and slid an arm around her shoulders and turned her around. He proceeded to lead her into the dark nothingness of the dark corridor behind the clock tower, where not even the darkest of night creatures could see. This boy, the Prince of Loneliness, was helping the Lost Queen back to her House dorm.
And the silence did not answer the twelfth chime for fear of making it angry that a mere child wasn’t fooled by its clever wisdom of trickery. The last chime faded into silence until it died in mourning as the stars and the moon watched with despair for their child.
Ding…