She didn’t know how she got back to Gryffindor Tower, but she had. Like a mouse, she crept back upstairs to the girls' dormitory and lay down on her bed. But before she fell into unconscious sleep, Lily was pulling Addalynn’s arm in attempt to get her up and moving around, afraid of being late to class. Lily was muttering incoherently about something to do with "the end of the world will come if we're late to class again". Addie picked up her clock and shoved it in Lily’s face.
“Oh, it’s only…” Lily realized.
“Midnight, Lily, you were having a bad dream. Now go back to sleep,” said Addie who, after making sure Lily got back in her bead and slid beneath the covers, turned on her back in her warm bed and shut her eyes.
She laid there for at least an hour or two trying to go back to blissful sleep. But she had woken up and there was no turning back. Surrendering to her instinct she climbed out of bed, took a shower, dressed into her school robes, and tip-toed down to the common room as silent as a mouse.
She plopped down on the nearest chair and sat there for a few minutes racking her brain for something stimulating; for something that would keep her occupied until someone else woke up.
Well it worked, not ten minutes after she sat down, James Potter came trotting down the stairs. His hair was much messier than usual and he was still wearing his nightclothes. James didn’t seem to notice she was there because he went strait to the couch and lied down.
His vacant expression suggested her was distracted by something. He laid there staring off into space in complete unawareness of her presence. She debated with herself whether or not to ask him what was wrong. It was obviously something personal so really she shouldn’t butt in. But then she might be able to help him in whatever small way she could.
He really looked like he needed someone to talk to but, was it really any of her business? After all she barely knows him….but then what harm could it do in getting to know him better? What was the point of all this bickering with herself? She knows she’s just looking for excuses to not talk to him; she was being too shy again, it seemed.
Putting all her fear behind her she cautiously stood up and glided over to the end of the couch where his head was restfully laying on a golden colored pillow. Softly she extended her hand to his arm to wake him out of his empty reverie.
He looked up at her innocent face, surprised. He thought he was all alone.
“Could you not sleep either?” he asked quietly.
“Lily had a nightmare and woke me up about an hour and a half ago. I couldn’t get back to sleep,” she stuttered, partly because she was lying and partly because she was nervous.
“Well look at you, you’re already dressed and everything. Afraid of being late to class?” James asked teasingly. She let a tiny shy smile play on her lips as she looked away with the color of embarrassment rising in her cheeks. “It’s okay I was only joking. So uh, do you want to sit down?”
James sat up and offered her a seat next to him which she gratefully took, hoping that they were starting to become friends. After all, he didn’t tell her to go away when she ‘woke him up’.
“I couldn’t help but notice that something was bothering you. I was just wondering if there was anything I could do to help,” Addie offered.
James thought for a moment about telling her while she patiently awaited his answer. She seemed understanding and honest, but could she really be trusted with this secret? No, not yet, the Marauders would have to continue to watch her before divulging anything secret about themselves.
“Oh, no there’s nothing you can do, but thanks for offering. It was very kind of you Addalynn,” he said ruefully and gave her and appreciative smile.
“You can call me Addie.”
“Addie,” he said, letting it flow off his lips like a steady river.
Addalynn sat in awkward silence next to James who seemed to be studying her. She unconsciously avoided her gaze and pretended to be fascinated with the grandfather clock sitting behind one of the large armchairs. She waited for him to say something insulting to her. After all, who was she to come bursting into the common room at 2:45 a.m. and barge in on his personal life? But instead he offered an honest question.
“You’re not very good at this are you?” he asked with a compassionate look in his eyes, showing that his words were not being used as an insult.
“Sorry, I’m not good at what?” she asked hesitantly, afraid of what he would say next despite the comforting look in his soft brown eyes.
“Not good at making friends. Remus and I were talking and we seem to agree on this. You’re very shy…you don’t really mingle with people. After all, we had to come to had to come to you. You don’t make yourself known to other people. It’s seems like you don’t want to,” he confessed.
“I’m frightened by an audience,” she told him honestly giving him a smile that plainly said ‘yeah it’s the truth’.
“I don’t mean that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you don’t really make an effort to make friends. You wait for them to come to you. It’s like there’s something holding you back.” Then he stopped to let her breathe and then he proceeded, “So what’s holding you back Addie?”
“F-fear I guess…” she whispered.
“What do you fear?” he asked looking at her with intense concern.
“I really don’t know….I guess it’s just that in the back of my mind a voice is saying, ‘you can’t trust anyone’. But there are other things bothering me as well…things I really don’t even know about, myself. I have fear, but I don’t know what the fear is of so I have no way to conquer it.” Then she paused for a second, reaching into the depths of her mind for something to say. “If you create the monster you know its weakness.”
More silence followed her hauntingly true words. She is wise…very wise, James thought, but still a young frightened child.
Now James had never been this compassionate to anyone else before because Lily would push him away and he had no female friends. He was taken aback by his endearment to her.
All these brotherly feelings were foreign to him. After all, he was also an only child. He watched her face reflect the moonlight that sneaked in through the window on her pale skin that made her look like an angel. He decided in that moment, as she was looking out the window in passive thought, that he would protect her from all harm for as long as he could. Silently he promised her that he would watch over her.
When she turned her attention back to James she noticed that he was looking at her as if he was in a trance.
“James, are you ok?” She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at him intently.
“Yeah, I’m fine…,” he said, still gazing at her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. Finally he realized this might be a little uncomfortable for her so he went on with what he wanted to say.
“Listen Addie, why don’t I be your friend? I don’t want you to be alone, well you know, um, remember what Sirius told you about Slytherins? What if one day a Slytherin decided to hex you? Who would be there to hex him all the way over to Ireland? You just came into the student world Addalynn and I don’t think you know quite how everything works around here yet. But I can assure you that I’ll be around until you understand how things work in this world, because don't seem to know what the world is like.”
She pondered this for a moment, he was asking if he could be her friend….why though? There’s nothing special about me…but I really don’t want to be alone and they have been awfully nice to me, Addie thought. But then a horrible thought crept into her mind.
“But what will happen once I’ve figured everything out? Will you just cease to be my friend?” she asked; and the pupils of her eyes grew in diameter but the size of her eyes themselves didn’t not falter.
James looked sincerely hurt by her accusation. Did she not know that friendship meant eternal loyalty?
“I will still be around. I will still be your friend. True friends stick around forever don’t they?” He looked at her uncertainly. She didn’t look like she knew what a true friend was and this unnerved him a bit. How could someone so sweet and innocent not know what a true friend is? Everyone needs at least one good friend.
“If you say so James,” she said while shrugging her shoulders.
Again they sat there in silence, and slowly, James saw that the frightened and guarded, shy look on her face, however subtle, changed to a look of comfort and relief.
So she understands; and that’ll do for now, James concluded.
Not long after their conversation, they fell asleep around 4:30 and laid there with Addalynn’s head resting on his shoulder.
Thankfully, Sirius was the first to enter the common room. If anyone else had seen James and Addalynn asleep on the couch, his arm around her shoulders, there would've been plenty of talk to go around.
Sirius gently shook James' shoulder, struggling to keep a smirk off his handsome face.
James was disoriented for a moment as he slowly deciphered why he wasn’t in the boy’s dorms as he looked lazily at Addie sitting next to him; although she didn’t look nearly as sleepy as he did. Then he looked at Sirius who what smiling mischievously back at him.
"What's going on...” James said drowsily.
Sirius leaned in and looked James directly in the face, "You're late for class. Professor Slughorn sent me down to see if you needed some help.
Immediately James jumped ten feet into the air and flew up the stairs leading to the boy’s dorms and in no time flat he was back downstairs in full school uniform with his glasses lopsided on his face and his hair looked like a porcupine standing strait on end. Addie and Sirius looked at him for a moment and then burst out laughing.
“What may I ask is so funny? And Addalynn, you're going...well you're already dressed for class..."
“Uh, James, this was all a spur of the moment, pointless joke, class doesn't start for another two hours,” said Sirius who was trying with all his might to keep a straight face but was failing miserably. Addalynn smiled to herself.
“Real funny you two… what am I? A puppet for your amusement?” James accused in a low grumbling voice as he straightened his collar, and although he was only teasing, he really was a bit upset to be used like that in front of Addalynn.
“Oh c’mon now Prongs; it’s not like you’ve never pulled something like that on me before. Remember last year on the first day of classes when you threw a bucket of water on me to get me to wake up? And then, and then, you actually did make me late to class by locking the door to the shower room,” pointed out Sirius who was grinning manically and put arm on James’ shoulder.
James starting grinning at the memory thinking that this was indeed a very small payback for the prank he pulled and decided to let it go.
“Okay point taken, I’ll never do that again Padfoot. But did you really have to drag Addie into this?” asked James innocently.
“Hey uh, Addie was it?” she nodded her head, “Erm, wouldn’t you like to eat breakfast with us? I mean we normally wait for Remus and Peter but we don’t mind going down early.”
Addalynn thought for a moment about it and then remembered what James had said that night; ‘why don’t I be your friend?’.
“Sure, I’d like that. But I don’t mind waiting for Remus and, um, Peter.”
Addie couldn’t help but notice that James and Sirius exchanged smiles before they decided to go and wake the other two up.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Once back up in the safety of the dormitory where Addalynn was out of earshot James turned his head knowingly to Sirius.
“So you noticed she needed us too huh?” James asked knowing the answer.
“Yeah but maybe she liked it that way. Maybe she didn’t want to have friends. But there was something else that I couldn’t help but notice too.” When he paused and James looked at him expectantly Sirius decided to continue. “I realized that I wanted to be her friend. I don’t know what it was but I felt like I’m supposed to look after her, to be there for her. You know what I mean mate?”
“Yeah Padfoot, I know exactly what you mean. I felt the same way too. It’s like you know you can trust her without knowing her…” Sirius nodded his head in agreement. “I think we love her.”
When his friend looked appalled at the idea of this being love he tried an attempt at making James feel guilty and convert to drawing a different conclusion.
“Well James don’t you love someone else already? Does the name 'Lily Evans' strike you as somewhat familiar?” Sirius asked leaning against his bedpost casually cocking his head with his hands in his pockets.
“You know that’s not what I mean Sirius. Remember when we became friends? How did we know we trusted each other? We're brothers, we love each other- simple as that.” said James excitedly. Sirius shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes and thought for a moment. Then he quickly opened his eyes in realization.
“We just knew didn’t we? We didn’t need to ask each other for trust we just had it; it was just there. Wow, you think we can still make friends at our age? I mean, are we still allowed to?” Sirius asked uncertainly. James gave him a preposterous look.
“Of course we can still make friends! There’s no rule book about it is there? Besides she is our age and she needs friends,” said James pointedly with raised eyebrows. "She needs us."
Sirius sat on his bed and hung his head in confusion. Really, if the Marauders accepted Addalynn as their friend then they would be hanging out together all the time and that included the nights of the full moon. Could they really think that she wouldn’t ask questions or figure it out?
At the same time James seemed to be thinking the same thing as well but James had an advantage on this judgment; he’d talked to Addie last night. He knew they could trust her and that’s all the proof they needed.
“Sirius, I talked to her last night…” he started.
“Yeah I was going to ask you about that when I found you two asleep on the couch down there…” said Sirius lifting his head up.
“Neither of us could get to sleep….the point is I talked to her and tried to figure out why she’s so isolated. I looked her in the eye and asked her and she said that she didn’t make any effort to get to know people because she’s afraid. She needs to know that there are people here she can trust Sirius, and we can be those people. I talked to Remus the night before last and he seems to think she’s trustworthy as well. Neither of us want to frighten her though, and that seems to be the only snag.”
“Oh alright I see what you mean. I’m just afraid she’ll follow us one night and get herself hurt…”
“Not if we tell her what’s going she won’t,” determined James.
“We’d have to ask if that’s ok with Moony over there who I think is starting to wake up,” said Sirius, pointing over to the far side of the room to Remus’ four-poster bed where the sheets were stirring.
“We’d better get them up, Addie is waiting for us remember?” said James hurriedly.
They managed to wake up Peter and Remus successfully and without pranks (although it took them a great deal of self control).
Addalynn sat patiently on a comfy worn armchair waiting for the boys. She didn’t know what was taking them so long; were they putting on make-up or something? Oh well, maybe they were having trouble with the morning groggy feeling; the kind you get when it’s too cold outside the comfort of warm sheets and a soft quilt. But she was patient all the same.
She caught herself smiling at the prospect of having friends and quickly told herself not to get carried away with trust just yet…they couldn’t know anything about who she really is, not yet anyways. She needs to keep up my guard no matter how loyal they are! Betrayal isn’t always intentional…A loud thump from behind her pulled her away from her thoughts.
As she turned around she noticed a short mousy haired boy she’d seen hanging around with Sirius and James; that must be Peter. The other three followed into the common room behind him and gathered in front of her eagerly.
“Addie, I don’t believe you’ve met Peter yet,” said Remus. He gestured the mousy-haired boy next to him who in turn, gave her a reluctant nod.
Maybe not everyone can be as courteous as Remus, thought Sirius. And so they walked in light chatter to the Great Hall. Given the hour at which they arrived there weren’t may people there yet.
But as the lightheartedness of the Marauders and their guest continued, they failed to notice that Professor Dumbledore had walked in. He looked curiously at the group for a moment and thought that Addalynn would’ve chosen some different friends. He’d thought that she was making friends with the Lily’s circle; this was unexpected turn of events. But no matter, she was doing well and that’s what counted at the moment.
“Good morning to you all. I trust you slept enough to not need a nap during classes today, hmm?” implied the headmaster who’s blue eyes twinkled at them from behind his half-moon spectacles.
The Marauders all nodded their head in agreement knowing that if History of Magic was today, they indeed would be needing a little siesta. Innocent as they looked Professor Dumbledore knew better than to fall for puppy dog faces so he turned his attention to Addalynn.
“Well your choice in friends, Miss White, is quite unexpected,” he said casting a quick glance at the four boys.
“I didn’t choose them Headmaster,” she whispered. “They chose me.”
So she does understand, thought James as he bestowed his dashing smile upon her.
With one look at her sweet face, her eyes filled with the feeling of acceptance, Dumbledore patted her on the shoulder and walked on to the staff table. The Marauders were quite pleased with the image of themselves they had created for her. She knew that they had chosen her to join them and they were happy.
Addalynn didn’t say much during breakfast, but she was still very content to be kept in such good company. A strange feeling had settled in a soft spot in her soul and shone brightly through her hazel eyes.
Soon the prefects started handing out the class schedules though much to the students’ dismay. After all the groaning and whining coming from the north end of the Gryffindor table, Sirius knew what was coming.
“We must have something with the Slytherins today…that’s just great,” Sirius grumbled.
As soon as the timetables reached them, they too let out a good loud groan just like everyone else.
“Double Potions with Slytherin….” The boys said in unison.
All this poor outlook on the Slytherins made Addie a little uneasy as she remembered what the Sorting Hat told her before the start of term. She felt like she was betraying her only friends that she’d not even had for one day.
Noticing the look on her face Remus leaned over to her and asked if everything was alright. She couldn’t very well let Remus know, so she kept it to herself.
“Oh I’m just down about Potions too,” she said quite convincingly.
But as soon as everyone began to fill their plates with breakfast, Remus caught something in her eye that he didn’t quite expect. He noticed it as she sat beside Sirius, silent. He wondered what she was thinking about and as soon as he saw it, it left. But even for the split second that it lingered in her magnificent eyes, she almost looked-