WARNING: Minor mention of rape in this chapter.
Hermione took a deep breath and knocked on the boy's dormitory. "Sirius?" she whispered.
The door opened, and Sirius stepped out. "Hermione," he said, looking somewhat taken aback.
"I need to talk to you," she said, looking nervously past him and into the dormitory. To her relief, Remus wasn't in there. Luckily, she knew where she could find him once she was done talking to Sirius.
He shrugged, and shut the door behind him. Leaning against it with his arms crossed, he said in a flat voice, "Talk away."
"I don't really think we really would have worked out anyway," she said, getting straight to the point. "You can have any girl in the school...so why choose me?"
"Right you are," he responded. "But you're gorgeous, smart, and you don't see me for my looks or my reputation. I couldn't help but be attracted to you, right?"
Hermione sighed. "Look, Sirius. I really like you as a friend, and I would rather have it stay that way. I just don't feel...that way about you."
"So who is it?" he said softly.
She looked into his smoky, dark grey eyes, eyes which every Hogwarts witch longed to look into. "You know who it is."
He smiled somewhat sadly, but replied, "Then I hope everything between you two works out. He's a great guy; he deserves someone who loves him for who he is. I guess you know where to find him?"
"Yeah," she said, waves of relief washing over her.
"One last kiss?" he asked.
"Sure," Hermione replied. She stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips lightly against his. He hugged her tightly before she pulled away. "I'll miss you," she said softly.
"You mean you won't see me in the future?" he asked in an attempt to lighten up the conversation.
She swallowed, and smiled weakly at him. "Maybe," she answered. "Sirius," she added before she turned to leave. "Whatever happens...don't give up hope. You, and only you, will know the truth; never let that go and always remember that I believe you, and Harry will too." These last few words she said softly, and her heart clenched as she remembered Sirius's fate.
He looked at her curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Just...keep that in mind for me." She forced a smile onto her face. "Bye Sirius."
Then, she turned around, and walked away.
The feeling of sadness she had acquired from talking to Sirius grew with every step she took towards the library. Although Hermione knew that she would see him one last time before they left, saying those words had been difficult for her. Even a year after his death, she, along with Harry and Ron, had a hard time accepting it. It's going to break my heart to say good-bye to him, she thought, tears welling up in her eyes.
When Hermione reached the library, she immediately headed towards the far end of it. This was her favourite place to go when she wanted to be alone, and if she knew well enough, it would most likely be Remus's too.
Much to her relief, she found him sitting on a low couch with his back turned towards her. He hadn't heard her approaching.
"Remus, it's me," she said as she walked up to him.
He turned around in surprise at the sound of her voice. "Hi Hermione," he said quietly.
She sat down on the couch beside him. "Umm..." she started out.
"So you're from the future?" he interrupted.
"Yeah..."
"Did...did you know me in the future?"
"I did."
"Can you tell me anything about me? About my friends?"
Hermione shook her head. "I'm sorry Remus, you know that I can't alter the future like that...telling you would throw off the balance of time."
"You're right," he sighed. "But sometimes you can't just help wanting to know what will happen in advance, you know? So you don't jump into things that...don't work out." He stopped, looking unsure about what he was going to say next.
"What do you mean?" she prompted.
"I already told you that before you came, I was a nobody. I mean, I'm just Remus. I've never had a girlfriend in my life, I spend my days tagging along after James and Sirius, trying to keep them in line...hell, even Peter had a girlfriend. But then I met you, and suddenly, I felt like a somebody. I wanted to impress you whenever you came into the room, and whenever you laughed at something I said, I felt like I had achieved one of my life goals - to see you smile because of me. Then I saw you kissing Sirius, and it was like I was out of the spotlight again. Like I didn't matter anymore, like I was back to regular old Remus. Now, it's like the somebody I was for such a short time is leaving along with you. As if being a werewolf wasn't bad enough, I don't even have you anymore. Meeting you was a mistake. I know it sounds selfish," he said with a bitter laugh, "but that's how I feel right now."
"It doesn't sound selfish at all," she answered. Her heart was thudding against her chest violently as she placed her hand gently over his, "and our meeting was not a mistake. We've all made mistakes in our lives. I've had my share of mine." Hermione had originally planned to stop there, but then she found herself spilling one of her biggest secrets to the boy in front of her. "Remember that night in the astronomy tower, when you asked me if I was a virgin? I'm not, and I didn't lose it by choice."
Remus tensed up beside her. "You mean..." he said slowly
"He raped me. No one ever knew; I never told anyone. I didn't even know him, I never even knew his name. He was some Slytherin who happened to walk by when I needed comforting...I don't even remember what happened anymore. We were talking and then all I know is that the next minute, I was screaming and crying for help, but no one was there to save me. I hid the bruises, both external and internal, and up until now, I kept it a secret."
Remus's mouth tightened and his eyes darkened dangerously. When he spoke, it was in a icy voice that she would never have expected to come out of his mouth. "Hermione, you know that if he was here I would..."
"I know, Remus," she said softly. "But that's my past. It's gone, and I don't want to bring it back. Someday you'll be in my past, but I don't want you to be. I don't want to leave. I just want to stay here with you and never have to think about the future, because nothing is more perfect than being next to you."
"I can't believe you never told anyone," he said quietly, disregarding her last comment. "You held it in..."
"We all have skeletons in our closet," she replied, moving closer to him and looking into his brown eyes. They were filled with disbelief, fury, and underlying hatred. "Keep them there and don't open the door again. Live for the present."
Their faces drew closer to one another's, and then their lips touched. Hermione felt as if she were melting into him as he put an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Her entire body tingled as if static electricity was travelling in and around her, and the emotions that were coursing through her body...they were undescribable. As they pulled away from each other, she realized that she had never felt so perfect with someone.
"I don't want to let you go, Remus," she said, tears streaming down her face as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Don't ever leave me."
He took her into his arms, and gently kissed her again. "Destiny is cruel," he murmured as he stroked her cheek tenderly, "because you can't fight it. I guess I was just destined to lose my life...twice."
Hermione's heart broke at his words. She had never wanted to fix things for someone more than right now. Usually, it was her responsibility to be level-headed, and under any other circumstance, she would never have fallen in love with someone so quickly. But Remus had stolen her senses and her heart, and there was nothing she could do now that she was in love's trap.
"I love you," she said quietly after a moment of silence. "More than you know. More than anything. And no matter what happens, my love will carry on into the future."
"I love you too, Hermione."
[A/N: If anyone didn't get Remus's bit about destiny, here's the basic explanation: life one = teenage life (after becoming a werewolf he can't exactly be normal anymore) and life two = Hermione. So cute ^.^]