Chapter 10: Beginning Again
I went up to the common room before the rest of the Seventh Years to look for Percy, but he wasn't there. At around ten o'clock, Oliver came over and sat down next to me. I looked up from my Charms book and smiled.
"I think I'm going to go up to bed," he said.
"OK," I said.
He smiled. "That's it? OK? Not even good night?"
I laughed. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous about telling Percy."
He put his hand on mine. "It'll be fine. Look at it this way. He would never curse you, no matter how upset he gets. If I were to tell him, I'd end up in the Hospital Wing."
"I don't think you just made me feel better," I said.
"I know. I was trying to make you laugh and failed miserably, obviously."
I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for trying. Good night, Oliver."
He stood up and pushed in his chair. "Good night, Laura," he said before walking upstairs.
I did homework until, finally, at around 10:30, Percy walked into the common room. Most people had gone to bed early that night, which, considering the previous late night, made sense.
I stood up, and Percy looked over and smiled. He walked over.
"I need to talk to you," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.
I must have failed because the way Percy said 'Oh' sounded a little apprehensive.
"You've heard?" he asked, looking happy again immediately. Percy didn't look truly happy often.
"Heard?"
"Penelope and I are back together again!" Percy said. He was grinning from ear to ear.
"That's… that's great, Percy," I said, trying to sound glad. I was glad. I was also dreading his reaction to my news.
Percy noticed my lack of excitement and smiled kindly. "Don't worry, Laura. I won't abandon you. We'll still be friends."
I nodded. "Of course."
"Well… we'd better be off to bed then—"
"No, wait. I still need to talk to you."
Hell. I might as well tell him this when he was happy. Maybe he'd forget to be upset.
"OK," Percy said, the apprehension back in his voice. He smiled. "Do I need to sit down?"
I smiled back. There were some times when Percy made me feel better without meaning to. "Um… no… it won't take long."
"OK," Percy said, taking a seat at the table I was working at anyway. "Is something wrong?"
"No. I just… think I should tell you something is all," I said, again failing to be casual.
"Something is wrong," Percy said, frowning now.
"No. Nothing's wrong. You…. I…. OK…."
"What?" Percy asked impatiently.
"There's no way to say it other than to just say it, I guess. I…. Oliver…." I laughed at myself. "This is stupid. I can tell you." I looked at Percy, who seemed to be getting the gist of what I was trying to tell him anyway. "We're together. Now. Dating. Kind of dating. More together than dating. Oliver and I."
I watched as this started to make sense to Percy. At first I thought he was going to take it very well, and I started to feel stupid for thinking he wouldn't. Why would Percy care if I had fallen for a guy he couldn't stand?
And immediately after comprehension kicked in, Percy's emotions kicked in, too.
"WHAT?" Percy asked.
Damn. So much for Percy taking it very well.
"I've spent a lot of time with him. Talking to him. Getting to know him. He's my friend. He's one of my best friends. And he's a good person. You know he is. You wouldn't have ever been friends with him if he wasn't."
"He's made your life miserable," Percy said.
I shook my head. "No. We've made our lives miserable. We're as responsible as he is. Maybe more."
"He's… he's… Oliver Wood! WOOD! By God!"
"By God what?" I asked, getting angry.
"What about Dan?" Percy asked, turning red.
"Dan's dead!" I said.
And then what he said hit me. And what I said hit me.
"You knew?" I asked quietly. "You KNEW?"
"Of course I knew! You thought I didn't? Dan was my best friend. He told me… told me that he loved you. That he didn't care that you were a few years younger, but that he knew Mum would because she cares so much about you, too."
I was in shock. I felt that pressure in my eyes that meant I was about to cry, but I was too angry for actual tears to come out.
"You KNEW and you never TOLD me that you knew? Don't you understand how much that's hurt me? That I lost him too and that I couldn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you any more than you were hurting already? That I loved him and I wanted your family to know that, so you could all know that SOMEONE loved him before he died, but I couldn't because the subject seemed to be forbidden?"
Percy was furious. And sad. "What was I supposed to say, Laura? I know that my brother was your boyfriend, and I'm sorry that he died? I didn't know HOW to help you, and I was in no state to help you anyway!
"And Mum and Dad knew, too. Mum figured it out. I heard her telling Dad a few days before Dan… died. She said that she could tell by the way he looked at you during meals. Dad wasn't sure, but I think he trusted Mum's judgment."
"You could have brought it up slowly. You could have just TOLD me you knew!" I said, but I was losing my anger.
Percy shook his head and brushed the back of his hand across his right cheek quickly. "I don't want to talk about him. I don't want to remember what happened."
"I don't want to remember what happened, either, Perce, but it did happen, and I know that I will NEVER forget. Percy…. If you think I could ever forget Dan… I promise you that I won't."
Percy didn't say anything. He looked down at the table.
"But I can't spend my whole life remembering. I've got to live for the future and try to stop living in the past. Like you've succeeded in doing."
Percy looked at me but still didn't say anything.
"Percy, I wanted to tell you about Oliver and me so that we could talk about it if you wanted to."
"You loved my brother?" Percy asked.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Why?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Because he was an unbelievably good person and because he didn't seem to know that. And because of how much he cared about me."
"And you love Wood?" Percy asked.
I sighed.
"Do you?" Percy asked a little harshly.
"Yes," I said. "I do."
Percy looked surprised. "Why?" he asked with even more curiosity.
I shrugged, smiling. "I don't know. I haven't had as much time to figure out why. I just do."
Percy didn't say anything. He just started staring off into space. After a few minutes, I stood up.
"I really am happy that you and Penelope are back together again, and I'm sorry if I ruined your good mood."
"Are you?" Percy asked coldly, still not focusing on anything with his eyes.
"Yes, I really am." I paused. "Good night, Percy."
"Out of all of the boys here—"
"I love Oliver. Just like out of all of the girls here you love Penelope. What's the difference?"
"You're comparing Penelope with Oliver Wood?" Percy asked, focusing on me again.
I frowned even more than I was before. "Of course not. Why would I insult Oliver like that?" I asked.
Percy stood up, too, and I remembered how tall he was. He could be a little intimidating when he wanted to be. He hadn't intimidated me in years, and I was too angry to start again now.
"I don't care what you do. If you want to be with Oliver, fine. Just don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart."
"He's no better than you at that, Weasley. Good night," I said as coldly as I could before storming upstairs.
I was furious. But I was also sad and happy at the same time. I was so overwhelmed that I wasn't even thinking about being quiet when I entered our dormitory.
Not that it mattered. The other girls seemed to be waiting for me. They were all sitting together on Joan's bed and stood up when I entered.
My emotions were blocked as I stared back at the other girls for several seconds. By the time someone spoke, all I was feeling was confused.
"We've got to be right," Rose said, turning away from me and facing the other girls.
"About what?" I asked in spite of myself.
"I don't think so," Cedar answered Rose, ignoring me.
"I do," Joan said. "We're right, aren't we?" she asked me.
"Er…."
"I knew it!" Rose said in triumph.
"Knew what?" I asked, in no mood to be kept in the dark.
"They think that you and Oliver… are a couple or something," Cedar said.
My mouth hung open a little. "Er…."
"Told you," Cedar said.
"How'd you know?" I asked.
"Ha!" Rose and Joan said at the same time while Tara laughed.
"WHAT?" Cedar asked.
After a few minutes of multiple conversations occurring and more confusion, I could finally hear all of what Joan had to say.
"Well, it was obvious. Percy was looking for you, but he was the last of us to see you. You walked into the Great Hall with Oliver. He was happy during dinner while you seemed preoccupied. Then you stayed in the common room tonight. None of us had seen Percy come back yet. We put two and two together," she said.
I was still surprised. "That's like putting two hundred and two together," I said.
"Which is still not that difficult."
"Plus… we heard some yelling just now," Rose said.
I didn't respond.
"How did Percy react?" Tara asked.
I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. "He took it better than I thought he would for longer than I thought he would."
"That bad, huh?" Cedar asked.
I walked over and sat on my own bed.
"Are you OK?" Joan asked.
"I'm OK."
She looked skeptical. "Are you?"
"No. And yes."
"I understand," she said.
"I don't," Cedar said.
"Your friends don't hate your boyfriend," Joan said.
"We've never hated your boyfriends," Rose said.
"No, but Oliver has," Joan answered.
I laughed a little. "Ironic."
"Who'd he hate?" Rose asked.
"Doug Livet."
"The Ravenclaw Keeper," I said, nodding a little. "He was good. Graduated last year. I didn't know the two of you dated."
"I never knew Oliver hated him," Rose said.
"Doug and I only dated a few times. Oliver didn't try to hide it from me what he thought of Doug, though. It was… nice in some way, I guess… that he cared. Mostly, it was annoying."
"What'd he have against Doug?" Tara asked.
"That he was a good Quidditch player, probably," Cedar said.
"No, actually. I accused him of that, too. Doug just isn't a very nice person, something I learned quickly. Oliver learned that through Quidditch."
"Did he say Doug would only break your heart?" I asked.
"How'd you know that?" she asked.
"Percy and Oliver influenced each other more than either of them know, or would ever admit," I said.
"Oliver got over it before I even broke up with Doug. I'm sure Percy will—"
"No, he won't. If he can ever ignore it, I would probably die of shock," I said. I looked up. "God, what kind of person chooses a boy over their friend?"
"What kind of friend forces that decision?" Tara asked quietly.
I looked over at her. "I think I may have done that, too."
Joan came over and sat down next to me. "You aren't choosing a boy over a friend when it comes to Percy. You went to him right away so he wouldn't hear it from someone else, probably because you thought you could make him OK with you dating Oliver."
"No," I said. "I knew he wouldn't be OK with it. I just… didn't want to keep this from him like I was going to keep how I felt about his brother from him."
None of them said anything.
"I'm tired and confused, and I'm going to go to bed," I said, standing up to get ready.
The other girls were more than ready to do the same. After all, they'd stayed up much later than I had the night before, celebrating Gryffindor's victory.
I had a few problems falling asleep. I really had thought that telling Percy the truth about how I felt about Oliver would make it so I could break away from everything that had happened in the past and start over. My conversation with Percy made me doubt that hope. I was in love with Oliver Wood. But Dan was still dead, and Percy and Wood still hated each other. I couldn't erase the past with a kiss and a confession.
The past would always be there, but I didn't have to let the past keep defining the present.
I couldn't take away my past, but I could give myself a future, I decided before drifting off.
[Author's Note: I'm sorry that was a short chapter. Probably the shortest chapter yet. And I'm afraid I have horrible news… this is page 162 out of the 164 pages that I had already written before beginning to post this story.
I know, for the most part, what's going to happen in the rest of this story. (It's all mapped out on the bottom of the Word document that I write this story in.) Now, it's just a matter of writing down what happens. Chapters will probably start coming out more slowly, especially for the next few weeks. I am hoping to get at least one more chapter up before school ends, but it will depend on how school is going. Finals are coming up sooner than I'd like.
I knew that I might run into this problem, and to try to prevent this, I was going to post chapters less frequently than I did. However, I couldn't resist posting the chapters and receiving your feedback. Thank you for all of your support and please stay tuned. I REALLY want to finish this story, and your encouragement will help me greatly. Thank you all so much.
-ByMerlinsBeard
P.S. Review! :) Reviews motivate me to neglect homework and write about Oliver and Laura. Sad... but true.
In the next chapter: Laura and Oliver adapt to their new relationship.]