Chapter 14: Begin with a Farewell
I climbed into the common room while looking at the ceiling with my eyes wide open to prevent tears from falling down my face. All I had to do was get through the common room and into the staircase leading up to my dormitory without crying. After a few awkward steps into the common room, I realized my odds of making it to my dormitory at all would be considerably better if I watched where I was going.
The party was still going strong in the middle of the room. Some people were dancing, though there was no music that I was aware of. Adam noticed me and raised his glass into the air.
"To Laura Debman and the Daily Prophet!" he shouted.
The others in the group echoed him, raised their drinks, and looked over in my direction. I couldn't force myself to smile, but I could nod in their direction. The group didn't seem to notice anything was wrong, and they went back to their celebrating.
I hurried through the common room, thinking about how lucky I was that most of the people in the room were too drunk or too happy to notice that Oliver and I had left together and that I had entered alone, near tears. I opened the door to the dormitories and closed it as quickly as I could without slamming the door and drawing attention to myself.
I let out a sob before I could even face the stairway again. The noise surprised me. I had usually done my crying quietly in the middle of the night so none of the girls would know I was upset. I'd gotten so good at crying silently that I usually didn't make much noise even when I wasn't trying to hide my emotions. I tried to remember the last time I'd cried enough to make a sound. It was when Oliver had shown me the room in the Quidditch stadium full of golden snitches, and I had told him about the morning Dan died. The memory was hardly comforting, and I started crying even more.
I practically ran up the stairs, trying to reach the safety of my room without running into anyone. Unfortunately, I paid for the luck I'd just had in the common room.
"Laura, is that you?" Rose asked.
"Yes," I answered, trying to move past her.
"What's wrong?" she asked, letting me pass but following me up the stairs.
I didn't answer. Finally, I reached the dormitory. I didn't try to prevent Rose from following me. Instead, I walked over to my bed, jumped onto it, and drew the curtain around me.
Rose had drawn back the curtain before I'd even fallen face down into my pillow.
"Laura, what happened?"
I pressed my face harder into the pillow, trying to stop the crying, which was only making things worse.
"Do you want me to go get Joan?" Rose asked awkwardly.
"No," I said quickly, which forced me to lift my head off the pillow. "Don't get Joan. Just leave me alone."
I started to lower my head into the pillow again, but Rose caught my shoulder and pulled back on it, making it almost impossible to hide my face. I sat up gracelessly, letting my legs hang over the side of the bed. I put my elbows on my thighs and covered my eyes with my palms, pressing into my eyes to see if that would stop my crying. Instead, my eyes watered even more and spots of purple and green lights filled my vision.
"If you don't want me to get Joan, then tell me what's wrong," Rose said simply.
Quickly, I weighed what would be worse: telling Rose, who was never one to outwardly show much compassion, or telling Joan, who would show nothing but compassion. I realized it would probably be easier to deal with Rose's lack of emotions than to add Joan's emotions to my own.
"We broke up," I said quickly. I let out a short laugh, which probably sounded like a severe sob to Rose. "I can't believe I'm one of those girls who weeps uncontrollably when her boyfriend breaks up with her." I brought my hands away from my face to give Rose a feeble smile. "I hate those kinds of girls."
Rose smiled back, obviously relieved I had attempted even a pathetic joke. "I hate those girls, too."
"Yes, well, you're unlikely to end up being one," I said, sitting up straight. I was still crying, but there was little point in trying to prevent Rose from seeing it anymore.
"Just because none of you like Flint doesn't mean that I can't love him like you love Oliver," Rose snapped.
I looked up at her again, so surprised that I stopped crying for several seconds. "I meant that you scare the hell out of him, and I doubt he could dump you."
"What makes you think he would want to?" she asked defensively.
"I… I don't," I stammered. "I was only kidding."
Rose visibly relaxed. "I'm sorry, Laura. You're upset, and here I am attacking you."
I completely agreed with that statement, but I thought it wouldn't help anything to say so. Plus, Rose had just said something that had taken my attention away from Oliver momentarily. "You love Flint?" I asked before I could stop myself.
Rose didn't say anything right away. She looked at me carefully, as if deciding whether she should take my question personally. "Don't tell the others I said that," she said, finally. "They might drop their supportive act, not that I've been buying it."
"I won't tell them," I said.
I let out another short laugh, which I'm sure Rose thought was a sob. She made a face and took a tiny step back.
"I probably won't even have a chance to tell them now," I said miserably.
"Why not?"
"He broke up with me, Rose," I said.
"So? That doesn't mean the rest of us stop being your friends."
I didn't respond, but that was answer enough for Rose.
She laughed. "Did you think we only tolerate your company for Oliver's sake?"
"No," I said honestly. "I just thought you'd all take his side."
"There are sides?"
I thought about this. "No. I guess not. Not anymore."
"Then you'll have a chance to tell the others I love Marcus. Granted, if you do, I might curse you in your sleep," she said pleasantly enough.
"I won't tell them," I promised again.
"Good. Well, I'm going to go back downstairs. I only came up here to get my cloak before going to see Marcus. It's rather cold down in the dungeons. Sure you wouldn't like me to get Joan?"
"I'm positive," I said quickly.
"I don't blame you. I only threatened you with that so I could make sure no one was dead or dying."
I forced a small smile. "Everyone's fine."
"I'll leave you, then," Rose said, walking over to the door. She opened it and walked into the hallway. "I'm sorry he broke up with you, Laura."
I nodded. "Thanks."
She shut the door quietly, and I laid down on my back, letting tears run down the sides of my face whenever they pleased. No more sobbing. No more noise. Back to my silent way of expressing grief.
I fell asleep wishing I could be celebrating the end of N.E.W.T.s with my friends and wondering whether Oliver was upset or if he was in the common room having a good time. I woke up when the girls came in for the night. I knew it must be quite late, but I didn't check the time. I had fallen asleep with the curtains around my bed open, so I had to lay still with my eyes closed to convince the others I was sleeping. I had no desire to talk to them and assure them I was fine.
"Poor thing," Joan whispered as the girls got changed into their pajamas.
"He didn't look much better," Tara whispered.
"No, but it was his fault," Cedar said quietly, speaking aloud what I was thinking.
"Think they'll make up?" Tara asked.
"Maybe. They have before," Joan said.
"He's an idiot," Rose said.
Cedar laughed as quietly as she could.
"He is," Rose continued. "Breaking up with her so he can focus on Quidditch, he said. We should have talked some sense into him."
"I'm sure she already tried," Tara said.
"Anyway, when has Oliver ever listened to sense where Laura was concerned?" Joan asked.
"Fair point," Cedar said.
"Know what I think?" Joan asked. She didn't wait for a response. "I think he liked her when we were kids, whether he knew it or not, and that's why he took it so personally when she sided with Percy."
"I think he would have taken that personally anyway," Cedar said.
"I really wanted to go to their wedding," Joan said, sadly.
"We know," Cedar said, "and I don't think Oliver appreciated you telling him that."
It took a lot of self-control not to laugh. I had made sure my breathing was deep and slow while they were talking. Fortunately, the girls were all climbing into bed and didn't notice that I was holding my breath to avoid betraying my eavesdropping.
The girls said good night to each other. I tried to go back to sleep, but my thoughts kept me awake. Of course, I wondered whether Joan's suspicions about why Oliver had taken it so badly when I'd taken Percy's side were true. I decided that Cedar was right—he'd have taken that badly whether he'd thought of me as a friend or as more than a friend. Or less, even.
I decided that I had no chance of falling asleep again anytime soon. I listened carefully for a few minutes, and as far as I could tell, all of the girls were sleeping soundly. I got out of bed quietly and left the room to go down and sit in front of the fire, as I often did in the morning.
It was very late (or very early), so I expected the room to be empty. I was quite surprised to find one person that hadn't gone upstairs yet. I started to go back upstairs, but Percy spoke first.
"I thought you'd come downstairs a hell of a lot earlier than three o'clock," he said. He was sitting in front of the fire, on the sofa that I considered "my" spot.
"I wasn't planning on coming down at all. I couldn't sleep."
"Me either, so I decided to come wait for you. Come sit down."
I did, sitting on the right hand cushion because it was the nearest one. Percy was sitting in the middle of the sofa. He watched me while I moved a bit to get comfortable.
"Why'd you wait?" I asked, to break the silence.
"To make sure you're OK."
"I'm OK."
"Laura, we've both spent quite a few nights in the common room at three a.m., but it was never because we were OK."
I looked at Percy carefully. He hadn't looked away since I sat down. He appeared to be tired and sad, and it reminded me of how he'd looked during our fourth year, when I would find him in the common room thinking about his brother. Except he'd never looked at me then, and he'd never admitted anything was wrong.
"I should have told you about Dan and me," I said.
Percy winced slightly at the name but showed no further sign of pain. "I already knew."
"I didn't know you knew."
"I should have told you that I knew," he said.
I nodded. "I was really angry with you for that."
Percy smiled a bit, but without humor. "I gathered as much during that Potions class."
"I didn't know that's why I was so angry until that class. But it was just as much my fault as yours that I didn't know you knew I dated Dan."
"Then you aren't angry now?"
"No."
Percy paused. "You should be. You were always there for me, and I should have been there for you, too. I just… wasn't sure I could be."
"I know," I said, choking back tears. "I wasn't sure you could be either, so I never told you. Oliver thinks it helped me to be there for you, and he's probably right."
"That's still no excuse, and I am sorry," Percy said.
I nodded, starting to cry for what seemed like the one hundredth time that day. "It's OK, Percy."
We sat in silence for a few minutes, watching what remained of the fire.
"I heard the two of you broke up," Percy said.
"You can say 'I told you so'," I said, wiping away tears. And Percy had told me so, warning me that Oliver would only break my heart.
"I only said that because I didn't think it was true," Percy said.
"You're only saying that now to be nice."
"Not true," Percy said, shaking his head. "I would never say anything nice about Oliver."
I laughed, not in much of a mood to defend Oliver.
Percy smiled, as he usually did when he made me laugh. I was one of the only people who seemed to understand his sense of humor.
"No, I never really thought he'd break your heart, Laura, and that's why I was so angry."
"I don't understand."
Percy sighed, not fond of discussing his own feelings. "We were all friends. Then, after that whole ordeal our second year, you chose my side. That always made it seem as if I'd won. Sure, Oliver got Quidditch, more friends, and eventually captain of the Quidditch team, but you chose my side, so I was the winner. So, when you told me you loved him… I guess it was as if you were changing sides, and he'd beaten me all along."
"I still wanted to be your friend. That's why I told you the truth about Oliver and me right away."
"But, when I made you choose, you chose him."
"That had nothing to do with the fight our second year. You hadn't been treating me well."
"I know," Percy said. "One more thing I owe you an apology for."
"You already apologized for putting Penelope ahead of me. And I put Oliver ahead of you. So we're even."
"OK. On that one, we're even." He paused. "Penelope and I broke up, you know?"
I looked away from the fire and at Percy again. "No. I didn't know. When?"
"Tuesday."
"I didn't hear."
"Yes, well, the gossip isn't as good about the Head Boy as it is about the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain."
"What happened?" I asked, ignoring his sarcasm. "I thought the two of you were in love."
"Yes, well, I thought the two of you were in love," Percy countered.
"Me, too," I said bitterly. "Unfortunately, Oliver is an idiot. He has this stupid idea that he won't be able to give enough to Quidditch if he's with me. He said a bunch of garbage about how he'd focus on me too much. As if I'd ever tried to do anything except support his Quidditch dreams."
"He broke up with you to focus on his career?" Percy asked strangely.
"I told you he was an idiot."
"He's not much of an idiot," Percy said.
"What?" I asked.
"I mean… it's a good idea for us all to focus on our careers. You'll be able to give more to the Prophet, too," Percy continued quickly.
"Are you standing up for Oliver?" I asked. "Now?" I added angrily, wondering why Oliver and Percy chose the worst times to support each other.
"No," Percy said hastily. "I just think that…."
I shook my head slowly. "Unbelievable. You broke up with Penelope for the same reason."
Percy didn't answer.
"You are both so alike. As much as the two of you hate each other and like to think you're completely different people, you are both idiots."
"Penelope agreed that—"
"Then she's an idiot, too."
"We both wanted to succeed—"
"Idiots," I repeated.
"Call Wood whatever you'd like, but—"
"Just when I thought you were starting to become the friend I used to have."
"I never changed, Laura," Percy said. "You just finally saw what everyone else sees."
I'd intended to keep interrupting him, to give him a hard time because I couldn't say these things to Oliver. I hadn't expected Percy to take what I said quite so personally. Or literally.
"You have changed," I said quietly. "After the fight with Oliver, you became less social. After Dan died, you became even more focused on the future than you had been."
Percy didn't respond.
"And I always saw what everyone else saw. No one else looked for more."
Percy not only looked away, but looked as far away from me as he could.
"That's not true," I said. "Penelope probably saw more, too."
Percy nodded but didn't turn his head.
I sighed loudly and slumped further into the sofa. The fire was almost out, and it was rather cold in the common room. "Well..." I said, just to be saying something. "At least we're still friends. We've still got that, even if you and Oliver are complete idiots."
Percy laughed under his breath, turning to look back at the burning embers. "I never really realized how much of a difference one friendship makes until this week. I didn't have Penelope to talk to, and I didn't have you to talk to…."
"Is that why you started talking to me again this week?" I asked, not unkindly or defensively—just curiously.
"Probably," Percy admitted. "That, and I could finally understand how lonely you must have been when you befriended Oliver. So, I guess it was harder to blame you for choosing him. It was harder to stay angry."
"I understand. I think that's what made it easier for me to forgive Oliver." I started getting teary-eyes again, and it pissed me off. "Damn it, I cannot stop crying!"
Percy didn’t answer. I looked intently straight ahead, blinking several times, doing my best not to cry even more. I was tired of crying. I was sad, yes, of course, but I was also mad at Oliver. Whenever I get mad enough, I cry, which invariably makes me even angrier, so I was losing my fight against my tears.
And Percy took my hand, gently but awkwardly at first. I looked down and couldn't help thinking it looked rather strange. I was used to seeing my hand surrounding his as much as my hand could cover his larger one. Seeing Percy's hand surrounding mine was the last straw, and I started crying normally, tears silently falling.
I leaned over so my head was resting against Percy's shoulder. He flinched at first, but he made no other objection, despite his warning two months earlier not to come crying to him when Oliver ended the relationship. After all, Percy said he hadn't really meant it. He didn't think it would happen.
I didn't think it would happen, either, I fully admitted to myself for the first time. I'd pictured Oliver and me together for the rest of our lives. It wasn't until I'd left Oliver by the window that I'd understood that breaking up meant forever wouldn't happen.
After several minutes, I stopped crying, feeling just as miserable about the break-up, but much better about my friendship with Percy. Wordlessly, Percy and I agreed that it was time to try to sleep again, and we stood and walked to our separate doors.
"See you in the morning," Percy said.
"Yes. Good night." I walked upstairs and went straight to bed, falling asleep in my clothes and shoes for the second time that night.
I slept in considerably later than I normally did, which was hardly later than most people slept when there were no classes. The bathroom was relatively empty, which I was thankful for because it meant there were less people to give me sympathetic looks. As I'd expected, news of Oliver breaking up with me had traveled fast. I decided it probably was a bad idea to have important conversations in the corridors, where ghosts and paintings (the backbone of Hogwarts' gossip chain) were. I decided I would have future conversations in classrooms, then remembered that in a couple of days, it would no longer matter.
I started walking down to the Great Hall alone for the first time in quite a while. I was brooding on this, feeling quite sorry for myself, when someone's voice interrupted my self-pity.
"'Lo, Laura."
I looked to my left to see that Penelope Clearwater had joined my previously lone trek to breakfast. I had to blink a few times, my brain not quite registering who my new companion was. Penelope and I had gotten used to not wanting much to do with each other: I partially blamed her for Percy ditching me, and she knew I partially blamed her.
"Hi, Penelope," I said, several seconds too late for it to sound natural.
"How'd your exams go?" she asked politely.
"Well. Yours?"
"Well. I don't mind tests much," she said.
It didn't surprise me that this Ravenclaw Head Girl didn't mind taking exams. It did surprise me she was insisting on carrying on small talk with me. There was a pause, which I couldn't help think seemed more awkward to Penelope than it did to me.
"I heard about you and Oliver," she said.
So that's what the small talk had really been about. Penelope felt bad for me. It took me a few seconds to realize I felt bad for her, too.
"Percy told me the two of you broke up, as well," I said. "Looks as if the two of us have quite a bit in common." I put as much humor in my statement as I could. I knew that neither of us expected to ever have much of anything in common with each other.
"Yes," Penelope agreed.
"Did you really agree with the whole 'focusing on our careers' argument?" I asked.
She thought a moment. "Yes." Another pause. "And no."
I smiled. "Then I apologize for calling you an idiot last night."
She returned the smile, and I could tell she'd thought of similar names for Percy.
"In some ways, the argument does make some sense, doesn't it? Shouldn't we all be focusing on our careers?"
"Yes," I admitted, "but the logic only really works if you say that one can only focus on one thing—that it's even possible to focus on one thing. People are always balancing things such as work, friends, family, hobbies, and so on."
"That's true," Penelope said.
"And who on Earth wants his life to be nothing but work?"
"Oliver and Percy," Penelope said blandly.
The two of us had slowed our walking considerably. People passed us frequently, but quickly, casting sad glances in my direction.
"Why didn't you tell Oliver all of this?" Penelope asked.
"I tried. I was too angry to really think of arguments at the time." I smiled bitterly. "I've had quite enough time since then to form some arguments, though."
She laughed, but understandingly and without much humor.
"It's too late, now," I said.
"You could always talk to him about it again."
I made a face. "Beg Oliver to take me back?" I asked.
"No. Make him see he was an idiot."
I shook my head. "You don't know Oliver. Anyway, you're one to talk. I don't see you trying to convince Percy he was wrong."
"You do know Percy," she said simply.
"Right. Oliver's just as stubborn."
"Anyway," Penelope said, "a part of me does see Percy's reasoning. I want to succeed, too."
"I do, too, but I know we can succeed and be together."
"So tell him that. What do you have to lose?" Penelope asked.
"Pride."
"Pride?"
"Yes," I said.
"That's it?"
I looked at her as if she'd said the sky was purple with pink polka dots and really believed it to be true. "That's enough," I said.
Penelope was confused. "So you'll put pride ahead of love?"
"I put pride ahead of everything. You put success ahead of love."
"Yes, but at least that's almost logical. Better than pride."
I half-smiled. "You wouldn't understand. You aren't a Gryffindor."
We walked down the stairs in silence, and I thought about what I'd said. I had never tied pride to being in Gryffindor before, but once I said it aloud, the link suddenly seemed obvious. Before going into the Forbidden Forest, Oliver and I had seriously wondered why the Sorting Hat had put us into Gryffindor. We couldn't think of any instances in our lives when we'd done anything worthy of being called 'brave'. Hardly any eleven-year-olds have. So the Sorting Hat must be looking for something else: a potential to be brave. A large amount of pride must surely be a signal for the Hat.
Take the cliché of a brave act: running into a burning building to save a stranger. A Ravenclaw wouldn't be stupid enough to risk his or her life. The odds of not surviving would be obvious to the Ravenclaw. The Ravenclaw would know it is much more practical to let professionals save the stranger, and running into the building may just make it so the professionals have to save one more person.
A Slytherin might risk his or her life to save a stranger if the Slytherin thought about how the attention afterwards might help him or her. However, a Slytherin would see that there is nothing to gain from dying.
A Hufflepuff would run into the building without thinking about it if someone he or she loved was threatened by the flames. Yet, the Hufflepuff's loyalty to those he loves would make it hard for him or her to risk his life for strangers.
A Gryffindor would run into that burning building because not running in would kill the Gryffindor more easily than risking his or her life. The Gryffindor could not live with him- or herself if he or she didn't try to help (for good or selfish reasons). Not to try would hurt the Gryffindor's pride too much.
The people in all four houses make good decisions about whether or not to save the stranger, but it is the Gryffindor who would be praised. The 'brave' side of pride is considered a virtue. That's the kind of pride I think Godric Gryffindor valued. Unfortunately, the same pride that makes Gryffindors brave is the same pride that makes us stubborn, stupid asses. Most of the big problems in my life were caused by it (at least partially): every time it took me too long to forgive a friend because I wouldn't apologize first; every time I silently cried myself to sleep instead of showing some weakness to someone; even when I asked Dan to meet me in the field behind the Burrow because I would have been to embarrassed to kiss him in front of his family.
And now I was going to let Oliver dump me for a stupid reason because my pride wouldn't let me plead with him to change his mind. Of course, Oliver's pride wouldn't have let him listen and admit he had been wrong. (After all, he was a Gryffindor, too.) So, I wouldn't try to make him come around. Knowing pride made Percy, Oliver and me unreasonable didn't change anything. We were how we were; I didn't have to like it.
Penelope and I walked into the Great Hall. I was trying to figure out if our conversation was over, debating whether I could just walk over to Gryffindor's table without another word.
"Well… good luck in the future," Penelope said.
I smiled and nodded. "Same to you."
She walked away to sit with her Ravenclaw friends, and for a moment, I felt lost. Habit was drawing me to sit with most of the Seventh Year Gryffindors, as I had every morning for breakfast, but I didn't feel up to trying to have a normal conversation, especially because Oliver was already eating with them. I started walking to Gryffindor table, scanning for empty seats. Percy was near the end of the table, not close to anyone. I quickly walked past my other friends and chose a seat directly across from Percy.
Percy looked up and, for a moment, appeared to be surprised.
"Morning," I said.
"Morning," he said, smiling slightly. He turned his gaze back to the Daily Prophet.
"I missed the mail delivery," I said.
"You can see the paper after I'm through with it," Percy said.
"Thanks." I started filling my plate with food. "What are we going to do today? No classes, homework or exams…."
Percy shrugged, still reading.
"Anything interesting happening?"
"Just more articles about how Black somehow escaped the other night. Fudge is blaming Dumbledore for everything."
I blew air out of my nose dismissively. "Dumbledore wouldn't help a mass murderer escape."
Percy raised his eyebrows but kept reading.
I sighed and started eating my eggs and toast. I rather missed the conversations with the other Seventh Years. Hadn't Percy and my conversations been less… one-sided in the past? Surely they had been.
"An owl delivered your paper to our part of the table while you were upstairs," Joan said, taking a seat next to me and placing the newspaper in front of her. "You owe Oliver a knut."
"Oh," I said, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a few coins. I found a knut and tried to hand it to Joan.
"Give it to him yourself," she said, smiling meaningfully.
I put the knut on top of the paper. "Take the knut or give him the paper he paid for," I said simply.
Joan took the coin and placed it in her pocket. "We're all going to Hogsmeade this afternoon. Most of the Seventh Years are going, as there's really nothing here to do now. You're welcome to join us." She turned her head to face Percy. "Both of you."
Percy turned the page of his paper.
"Don't try to fix this one, Joan," I said seriously.
"Fix what?" Joan said.
"You know what."
"You can still be friends with Oliver," Joan said.
"Not the day after they broke up," Percy said, turning another page.
Joan ignored him. "Oliver won't mind if you go."
"He'll mind if I go," Percy said.
"Thank you for offering, Joan," I said, "but I don't want to make all of you uncomfortable."
"You won't."
"All right. Then I don't want to be uncomfortable," I said.
She looked slightly hurt, and I'm sure she wanted me to see that.
"Look…" I said. "Maybe we'll see you in town," I tried to compromise.
Joan nodded and smiled. She stood up, said goodbye, and left.
"She's irritating," Percy said, finally tearing his eyes from the Prophet.
"Sometimes," I admitted, "but she means well."
Percy rolled his eyes.
"You don't like her because everyone considers her to be the nice prefect."
Percy grinned. "I'm nice."
I laughed, and he started looking at another section of the paper, smiling.
That afternoon, Percy and I did decide to visit Hogsmeade for a change of scenery. It may have been our second to last full day at Hogwarts, but that didn't change the fact that we'd spent hundred of days there. For a couple of hours, Percy and I browsed through several of the shops on the main street of town, spending more time than I'd have liked in the bookstore. I was glad not to be staring at common room walls, but Hogsmeade had lost a lot of its appeal after four years of Hogsmeade weekends. After Percy finally found a book with a Ministry worker as the main character, we went to the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer and snack.
We waited at the counter after ordering, and after receiving our drinks and food, started making our way to the back of the pub. There weren't many people in the Three Broomsticks, but Percy and I were used to being there when the place was packed and finding seats in back was easier.
"Laura, you showed up," Joan said happily as Percy and I were walking by her table.
Percy and I stopped walking, both reluctantly, though I was slightly better at hiding it. I'd known the others were in town, but it hadn't crossed my mind that the Gryffindors would likely be at this pub when we got there. Percy had asked if I wanted to get a butterbeer, and I'd agreed to it. Everything had felt normal while the two of us window shopped, but we'd hardly talked. I thought sitting down somewhere might help the conversation.
"Did you hear about Professor Lupin?" Mark asked, looking up at Percy and me.
I shook my head.
"Turns out he's a werewolf!" Mark said.
"You're kidding," I said, raising my eyebrows in surprise.
"Explains all of the disappearances, doesn't it?" Cedar asked.
"So I suppose he's leaving?" Percy asked.
"Yes. Don't think many parents would want their kids being taught by a dark creature," Mark said, "which is too bad."
"They'll probably end up with another teacher like Lockhart," Oliver said.
"Well… no one expected Lupin to last more than one year," Cedar said.
I nodded in agreement, as did the others on Mark and Joan's side of the table, the only place I'd looked since Joan had called my attention to them. There was a short silence, which I spent nodding slowly, looking anywhere but at the people sitting opposite Joan.
"Well, let's not let our drinks get warm," Percy said.
I increased the speed of my nodding. "Yes. We'll see you all later."
"Only if you'll look at each other," Cedar muttered.
I didn't look at her (She was on the other side of the table.) or acknowledge she'd said anything. Instead, I followed Percy to a corner of the pub, where, thankfully, we could not see our classmates.
"Well, that was awkward," Percy said.
"I know," I muttered.
"Thank Merlin you didn't accept Joan's offer to tag along with them and drag me along with you."
I didn't say anything. Telling him to shut up would have only told him I agreed with his statement. Not saying anything did the same. I figured it was best to save my breath.
"It would have been interesting to see if you and Wood could have gone a whole day without looking at each other, though."
"Shut up, Percy," I said.
I had plenty of time to save my breath in the long silence that followed. He hadn't said anything to be mean, but I took his comment badly, anyway. I spent half an hour drinking butterbeer, trying to ignore sounds of conversation coming from the other Gryffindors' table, and avoiding eye contact with Percy.
About five minutes after my friends left the pub, Percy and I started talking again and decided to head back to the castle. We managed to have a decent conversation on the way back, though it was mainly small talk.
It was a nice evening, so most of the student body went outside, and Percy and I were no exceptions. At first, he read while I people watched. There was plenty going on in the grounds to keep me from becoming bored. After an hour or so of people watching, I saw Hagrid working near the lake, and it hit me that I may not see him again before I left the school.
"I'm going to go say goodbye to Hagrid. Want to come?"
Percy looked up from his book. "No, thanks. I've never really talked to him."
"It's not too late to meet him properly."
"How do you know him?"
I didn't want Percy to feel bad about anything I knew he was sorry for, so I just shrugged and said, "Not sure."
"Go ahead. I'll wait for you here before going inside."
I agreed to this arrangement and walked from an area near the doors of the castle to where Hagrid was working.
"'Lo, Hagrid," I said.
Hagrid turned and beamed. "'Ello, Laura! I was wonderin' if ya'd come say goodbye."
"Of course I would," I said, though it hadn't occurred to me until I'd seen him from across the grounds.
"So, 'ow are ya doin'?" he asked, standing up straight, turning his attention from whatever he was working on.
"Oh… you know," I said, shrugging.
"Something wrong?"
I looked up at him, taken a bit off guard. I thought he'd have heard. Most people in the school knew about the break-up because Oliver was involved.
"Where's Oliver?" Hagrid asked, looking over my head and scanning the grounds quickly.
"I'm not sure. We broke up."
Hagrid looked adequately surprised, and after he asked, I explained Oliver's rationale.
"Oliver made Puddlemere?" Hagrid asked after I finished. "Good fer 'im!"
"Great," I said, not hiding my sarcasm well.
Hagrid smiled. "Probably not easy fer ya to be excited fer 'im."
"I was excited for him. Now…."
"He's not completely wrong," Hagrid said carefully. "Yer careers are importan'."
"I know," I said begrudgingly, "but you know he's not completely right, either."
"I think 'e's mainly wrong," Hagrid said.
I smiled thankfully.
"I coul' talk ter 'im," Hagrid offered.
"No, thanks."
"It worked las' time."
"You gave him the same talk about fate and choices you gave me, didn't you?"
"Yes," Hagrid said.
"I thought you did."
We talked for several minutes about what I was planning to do after graduation and about recent events at Hogwarts. Hagrid knew more about Professor Lupin's resignation than Mark had told us, and Hagrid was happy to share most of what he knew with me, though not as happy as he was to talk about Buckbeak's survival. When signs of sunset started showing, I decided I'd better go back to Percy.
"Thank you for everything, Hagrid," I said.
"Oh, yer welcome. I enjoy getting' ter know the students."
"Especially those who need you?" I asked, smiling.
"Mostly," Hagrid admitted.
"Well… I could still never thank you enough." I blinked back a few tears and was doing well until Hagrid wiped his own eye. "Good luck with the rest of the students," I said sincerely.
"Oh, they jus' need someone ter listen. Write ter me when ya get on with the Prophe'."
"I will," I said. "Well, I'll see you around, Hagrid."
"Bye, Laura," Hagrid said, patting my shoulder, probably with more force than he meant to.
I started walking away, but there was still one more thing I wanted to know. "Hagrid?" I asked, stopping about five feet away from him and facing him. After he looked up, I continued. "I know this probably isn't going to help me much, but… did you really know all along that Oliver and I would date?"
Hagrid laughed, but not enough to make me feel stupid for asking the question. "O' course I did. Aren' doubtin' me, are ya?"
"No, but how'd you know?"
"You jus' fit the pattern is all. I' happens a lot when there's a group of three, an' one of 'em isn' the same gender. Usually the pairing doesn' involve the 'leader,' if you will."
"How often does this happen?" I asked skeptically.
"Often enough fer the professors to star' noticin'," Hagrid said. "Of course, I did consider you an' Percy."
I made a face. "No, that would just be wrong," I said quickly.
Hagrid laughed. "So I had pretty good odds on you an' Oliver."
"I guess," I admitted. "Well… that's all I wanted."
"I don't blame ya fer askin'. If ya ever need anythin', just ask."
"OK. Thanks. Goodbye, Hagrid."
"Good luck," Hagrid said, turning back to his work.
I walked back to where I'd left Percy. He'd repositioned himself to get better light so he could continue reading.
"I was about to see if you'd gone in already," Percy said, standing. We walked up to Gryffindor, and I filled him in on the Professor Lupin news on the way.
I spent the rest of the evening packing everything but a few changes of clothes and toiletries, as did the rest of the Gryffindor Seventh Year girls. They were still in great moods because N.E.W.T.s were over, and their happiness spread easily to me. We gossiped about people in other houses and years, avoiding talking about Oliver (and the other Seventh Year boys because Oliver could be mentioned) for my sake.
The next morning, after breakfast with Percy, I got ready to go to graduation with the rest of the Seventh Years. We had to wear our dress robes, even though there was no actual ceremony. The kids with wizards for parents didn't seem to mind the lack of ceremony, but the Muggleborns felt as if there should be more pomp or circumstance or something.
The nine of us Seventh Years met in the common room. Oliver and I stayed on opposite sides of the group, but we didn't pretend as if the other person wasn't there. He half-smiled and nodded at me when I came down with the other girls, and I did something that probably looked more like a grimace than the smile I'd meant to give him. After several minutes of small talk amongst the group, it was finally time to walk down to Professor McGonagall's office. Percy and I walked in the back of the group, and Oliver walked directly in front of us.
About halfway to McGonagall's office, Oliver turned his head. "Seems strange this is our last day here, doesn't it?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said simply. "Very strange."
He nodded as if I'd said something new instead of just agreeing. He kept his head partially turned for a minute before completely facing forward again.
"When's your Quidditch tryout?" I asked, trying to sound politely interested and not angry. I did well enough.
"In a few days. July third," Oliver said, still facing forward.
I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "That's when my interview for the Prophet is."
"Really?" Oliver asked.
"Well, that's ironic," Percy said.
I'd forgotten he'd been walking right next to me. I scowled at him.
"Shut up, Percy," Oliver said.
Percy didn't respond, but only because we'd all reached McGonagall's office, and she was standing outside of the room to greet us. She looked much happier and less strict than she normally did. She didn't look happy to be rid of us, but happy for us. I suppose there must be as much pride in helping a student succeed as there is in succeeding as a student.
There were enough chairs in Professor McGonagall's small office that all of us could sit, but the room was crowded. I ended up between Percy and Oliver. Briefly, I thought it was strange to be close to Oliver and not holding his hand or touching him. Professor McGonagall chased the thought away when she began congratulating us on graduating. Then she explained that we all could practice magic legally whenever we pleased, so long as we abided by Ministry laws. She passed out certificates (with our names written on them sophisticatedly) that said in flowery language that we'd met all of Hogwarts requirements to leave the school. Then she shook our hands, congratulated us all again, and sent us on our way.
I was sad about leaving the school in which I'd spent seven years of my life, but such a disappointing end to the experience was enough to make me tear up on the way back to the dormitories.
"OK?" Percy whispered.
"Fine," I responded.
No one else could see me since Percy and I again were bringing up the rear of the group, and by the time we reached the dormitory to change out of our dress robes, I didn't feel like crying anymore.
Percy and I spent our last day exploring the castle and grounds for the last time. Over the course of the day, things seemed more and more normal between us. Things would never be quite the same as they had been when Percy and I had been each other's only friend. I knew that once Percy got a job at the Ministry, it would become his life. Our friendship would always be formal, continued only through letters exchanged infrequently because neither of us would be able to let go of the past quite enough to lose touch completely. I think Percy sensed the same things I suspected about our future so, for one day, we pretended nothing had happened since our first year. For one last day, we were new students in a strange school, happy to have a new friend. If I were to write out a list of every thing I would change about my time at Hogwarts, I'd be writing for a week, but I would leave that last day exactly how it was, dreadful graduation and all.
The next thing I knew, Percy and I were on the Hogwarts Express, heading back to London, and I wasn't sure if it was all too soon or just in time. Percy clearly believed it was the latter, and we spent hours talking about what we expected in our futures. It was a nice change for the two of us to forget about the past few weeks and to focus on the coming years. Percy was as optimistic about his future as ever. I was just as willing to start over again.
About an hour before the train arrived at its destination, Percy and I were interrupted by a knock on the door of our compartment, which was near the front of the train. Joan stuck her head in after I reached over and slid open the door.
"Something wrong?" Percy asked in his Head Boy voice, which he rarely turned off.
"No, nothing. In one more hour, no more Prefect duty!" she said to Percy, taking her Prefect badge off her gown.
"If you hated it so much, why did you do it?" Percy asked, watching her take off the symbol of her authority as if she were removing her right hand.
"Looks good on a resume," she said honestly, sitting next to him. "You aren't glad to be done patrolling the corridors in the middle of the night?"
"I won't miss that, no," Percy said, smiling a little. After a minute of silence, he said, "Did you want something?"
Joan turned to me. "Were you going to come say goodbye to us all?"
"I said goodbye to you this morning in the common room."
"You didn't say goodbye to the boys."
"I didn't think they'd appreciate a teary goodbye from me. Anyway, I'll see them again. We've never said goodbye over vacations before," I said, laughing.
"It's not a vacation—" Joan said.
"I know, but it's not forever, either," I interrupted.
"Are you really going to refuse to come with me to say goodbye because of Oliver?" Joan said disdainfully.
"Yes."
"Well, that's rather immature, isn't it?" she asked after a pause.
"Yes," I admitted.
"You can't ignore him forever," she said.
"They spoke this morning," Percy said, almost hiding a smirk.
Joan blew air out of her nose. "Hardly. 'Your shoe is untied' doesn't count."
"Why do you care so much?" I asked exasperatedly.
"You're my friend."
"And…?"
"Isn't that enough of a reason for me to care?" she asked.
"You cared before we were friends."
"All right. Then I care because Oliver's my friend."
"How long is this conversation going to last before you agree to go say goodbye to your friends, as you should?" Percy asked me.
Joan looked at him, smiled and nodded. "See, even he things you should come."
"Thanks for your help, Percy," I grumbled.
He shrugged and picked up the book sitting next to him that had been closed for the majority of the journey. "Just seems rather stupid to drag some friends into a fight with another friend, doesn't it?"
It wasn't hard to guess what to what he was referring. "This is completely different," I said. I still think it was completely different. I stood up and followed Joan into the corridor anyway.
I felt as if I was going to throw up the chocolate frogs I'd eaten that evening for dinner. I tried to convince myself it was only motion sickness from walking in the opposite direction the train was going, and maybe that was part of my problem. The majority of my discomfort was from knowing how awkward the next few minutes could be.
Joan walked into the Seventh Year Gryffindors' compartment ahead of me. There wasn't truly enough room for all of us in the small space, so I stood partially in the doorway, partially in the hallway.
"She had to drag you to come see us?" Cedar asked. She sounded as if she was kidding, but her eyes looked at me seriously.
"I didn't want to leave Percy alone," I lied. "So I shouldn't stay long."
The group let my lie pass, but they didn't say anything else, either. I looked around the compartment. Everyone was looking at me or at Oliver. Oliver was looking at his shoes.
"I'll miss you all," I said to break the silence.
They mumbled responses.
"I'll see you soon," I said, silently cursing how awkward the situation was. "Thank you," I added.
"For what?" Adam asked.
I smiled. "For putting up with me for the past several months."
"Oh," Adam said. "Well, we've been putting up with you for much longer than several months. It's been seven years." It was Adam's way of saying I'd been in their lives longer than I'd been their friend. He meant it in a good way.
"All right," I conceded. "Thanks for putting up with me more than usual during the last several months."
"You're welcome," Mark said, grinning. "You know what I'd like to see for old times' sake? Oliver and Laura fighting like they used to."
Joan hit him in the arm with considerable force.
"I was only kidding," Mark said. "They know that."
I glanced at Oliver, and for the first time in a couple of days, we made eye contact. We both looked away quickly, but I felt less uncomfortable. I'd been dreading that moment, and now it was over.
"Good luck in the next few months," I said to the room at large, less restrictedly than I'd been talking before.
They wished me the same.
"Keep in touch."
They promised they would.
Joan stood up and hugged me, and Tara followed Joan's example. I returned the gesture gratefully.
"Let us know when your first story is in the Prophet," Mark said, easily reaching across the small space between his seat by the window to where I was standing. He shook my hand, and while it wasn't as nice as a hug, it was still a kind gesture coming from him.
Adam stood and turned away suddenly. "I can't. Saying goodbye is… just too hard."
We all laughed because Adam had said it more than because it was funny. I laughed the loudest, glad he was making everything less serious.
"I'll come see one of your plays," I said as he turned back and gave me a friendly hug.
"Only one?" he asked, smiling. Maybe he was serious. It was hard to tell.
"Write to me," Cedar said, standing and hugging me awkwardly.
Rose stood as well, and we exchanged a short hug. Had Rose not found me crying a couple of days before, I think she would have shaken my hand as Mark did. "Good luck with Marcus," I whispered, and I meant it.
"Thank you," she said, sitting back down.
I paused, suddenly uncertain what to do. Thankfully, my emotions couldn't top my very basic manners. I faced Oliver. "Good luck with Puddlemere," I said, and I meant that, too, almost as sincerely as I wished I could mean it.
"Thank you," Oliver said. He stood and reached out his hand, and it struck me as a cold gesture. I took his hand anyway. Neither of us shook our hands. "You'll do amazingly at the paper."
"Thanks."
He dropped my hand but remained standing. "Keep in touch, Laura."
I nodded and turned my attention back to everyone. "We'll be back in London soon. I'd best get back to my compartment. See you all later," I said.
They said goodbye as I left their area. I was sad to be leaving them, relieved to be finished with telling them that I was sad. Percy put his book away when I came back to our compartment.
"How'd it go?" he asked.
"Remember the conversation in the Three Broomsticks the other day?"
Percy snorted. "I don't think I'll ever forget."
"Well… this one was about like that."
"That bad?"
"It could have been even worse than it was," I sighed.
Percy didn't say anything for a minute. "There's only about ten minutes left until we reach King's Cross. I need to make sure everything's fine."
"You're leaving?" I asked, looking down at him sadly.
He paused. "I suppose I won't be able to do anything even if something is wrong."
"Probably not," I agreed.
"Then I'll stay."
I smiled. The two of us threw a few random items, including our robes, back into our trunks with the rest of our luggage. The train started slowing down. Percy and I watched parts of London go by, and soon we were looking at a wall inside of King's Cross. The two of us got our trunks down from the shelf above our heads, helping each other because they were heavy. The front of the train was almost as empty as the back of the train, so we got off the locomotive quickly.
Percy spotted his family almost immediately, their red hair making them easy to see in a crowd. I followed him to greet them. It had been a long time since I'd talked to them in person.
"Hello, Laura!" Mrs. Weasley greeted me, hugging me as she did almost everyone my age. "You've gotten so old."
"Not as old as we've gotten," Mr. Weasley said, smiling.
Other Weasley children reached our small group, and the Weasley parents' attention was taken away from me. It didn't bother me much.
"Well, I should go find my parents, too," I said, looking up at Percy.
He nodded. "I'll see you soon."
"If you're not working," I kidded, though I knew there was truth in my joke.
He grinned. "If we're not working."
"I'll miss you, Perce." Our trunks were on the ground, and my arms were free. I hugged him, quickly, and he returned the hug with one arm. (His other hand was holding Hermes' cage.)
"I'll miss you, too," he said as I backed away again to give him his space.
I nodded once and magicked my trunk onto a cart someone had brought over.
"That was mine," George or Fred said.
"Hers now," said the other.
I thanked the one who'd gotten the cart for himself, and he accepted my thanks rather well.
"I'll see you, Percy," I said, getting behind the cart and directing it towards the line of people waiting to leave Platform 9 ¾.
"Goodbye."
I started to walk away, but stopped when he said my name again.
"I'd have never made it without you," he said quietly after catching up, so his family couldn't hear.
I smiled broadly. "We're even, then," I said.
As the people in front of me left the platform, I took one last look at the Hogwarts Express. I thought about how I would probably never see it again. It let out a whistle, and I imagined that it was saying goodbye. It wasn't until I was on the other side of the barrier that it occurred to me that many wizards saw that train again when their children saw it for the first time. Mum and Dad saw me and started waving, and the thought left my mind as I greeted them.
Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. School started again, so it will probably take a while for the next chapter, too. The wait was made a little longer because the chapter got rejected because I put in asterisks instead of italics, which was never a problem before. Oh well.
Coming up: Laura gets a job, chooses a career and attends a wedding. This chapter will cover Laura's first year out of Hogwarts.
Only three or four more chapters!