My Daughter
- "Yes it is true," she agreed. "But is it not a little strange to have DNA different than your parents?" -
When Professor Dumbledore received Remus’s letter, he was more than happy to send Lily back to Grimmauld Place. He knew this would have a significant impact on both people. He decided to give her a week to deal with it before she had to return to school. He even found it hard to believe what had happened. Though he knew perfectly well it would happen someday, he never expected to see it. He was both happy and concerned. How would she take it?
This scene was only too familiar to Rachael. When she came into the kitchen to sit down, she suddenly remembered where she had seen this scene before. It was back in her second year, after she had followed her brother to the Whomping Willow. She had come back from the Hospital Wing and fallen asleep on the couch when she had this realistic dream. She now saw just how realistic it was. It was the very same girl who bore a striking resemblance to herself… and her eyes… they were only too well known as well. She knew very well where they came from. She just couldn’t comprehend the moment, after fifteen years…
The girl, on the other hand, didn’t seem too ecstatic about the meeting. She looked like she would rather be anywhere than where she was. She was glaring at Rachael, looking both frightened and angry. Rachael didn’t know why she felt angry, as Remus hadn’t said anything yet. She was probably mad about missing the Hogsmeade trip that was being held that weekend. As Rachael studied the girl, she noticed something disturbing about her appearance. Around her face were light pink scars and under her eyes were dark circles, making it look like she hadn’t had much sleep recently. Remus did…
To her great luck, the awkward silence was broken by footsteps coming from the stairwell. Remus entered to room. He looked between the two occupants at the table and looked towards his sister.
“Rachael, this is Lily Jameson,” he said in his most pleasant voice. “Lily, this is Rachael Lupin, my twin sister.” Lily nodded and reached out to shake hands with Rachael, though she had no idea what Professor Lupin was talking about. “You’re probably wondering why I took you out of school to meet her.”
“The thought did cross my mind,” Lily replied sarcastically.
“Well, I’m not the person to explain. My sister and this letter are the ones who can tell you what this is all about. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go meet Kingsley in Diagon Alley. See you later.” And, before Lily could even stop him, Professor Lupin was out the door. She doubted he even had to go to Diagon Alley. Feeling defeated, Lily turned to Rachael, and waited for her to tell her what was going on.
“Well, you’re probably wondering why you’re here,” Rachael said uneasily. Lily nodded her head, getting fed up with all of the stalling. “Well, this is odd for me to say… let me try this. When you look at pictures of you and your parents, did you ever notice that you look nothing like them?”
Lily thought for a moment. This person did have a point. Everyone in her family had blonde hair; she had brown, this was usually considered a bit odd. Now that she thought about it, her mum and brother had green eyes and her dad had brown, she had blue. Okay she has a point, but that still doesn’t explain anything.
“Well, yeah, I don’t look like anyone in my family,” Lily admitted. “But, that’s normal, isn’t it?”
Rachael now had an opening, so she decided to take advantage of it.
“Yes, it is true,” she agreed. “But, is it not a little strange to have DNA different than your parents’?”
Rachael waited for a reaction, but the one she got wasn’t the one she was expecting. She had expected Lily to be mad, but instead she was laughing, as though she had heard the most hilarious joke.
“What’s so funny?”
“What you just said!” Lily answered through her laughs. “You just said I’m not related to my parents. That’s great!”
“That’s nothing to laugh about.”
“Yes it is! That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard! Of course I’m related to my parents. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’re related to me!”
This stopped her from laughing any further. Lily looked at her as though she had heard the most absurd thing in the world. She thought of laughing again, but when she saw the look on Rachael’s face, she could tell she was serious. How in the world could she be serious? She couldn’t be related to this woman. If she was, why hadn’t she known?
“You’re kidding, right?” she asked, hoping this was a joke.
“Who would kid about something like this? Read the letter, if you don’t believe me.”
Lily looked at her skeptically, but read the letter anyway. What she read, she didn’t like. She didn’t want to listen to what it said. It was wrong, it had to be. She couldn’t be related to someone else… to a different family entirely.
“Do you believe me now?” Rachael asked once she saw Lily was finished.
“This is a lie,” Lily answered, her voice shaking slightly. “It has to be.”
“It’s not a lie. I didn’t trust it at first, but you have to consider the facts “”
“Let’s consider the fact that the old guy was just a little off his rocker and decided this would be a nice joke to play. This isn’t true… you’re not my mother!” She wouldn’t listen, she couldn’t. This woman standing in front of her wasn’t her mother! Her mother was back at her house. It was always that way, why did it have to change now?
“This isn’t a joke. That man wasn’t lying to you. Who would lie about something like this?”
“You would for starters.” Lily closed her eyes in anger. This wasn’t right, it was wrong! “This is all wrong!” she yelled out in aggravation. “You’re not my mother! My mum is back at my house! Why are you doing this to me? As if being bitten by a werewolf wasn’t enough to last me a lifetime? You have to come and tell me I’ve been adopted all these years?”
Rachael sighed, frustrated with this girl’s lack of understanding. She wasn’t lying. Why didn’t she see this? She wanted to meet her daughter for fifteen years and now that she finally had the chance, her daughter was snubbing her and calling her a liar. She was just going to have to prove it…
“Look, I’m sorry all of this horrible stuff happened to you, but you are my daughter. If you won’t believe the letter or me telling you, I’m just going to have to show you.”
“She’s so pretty.”
“She must’ve taken after her mother then.”
“James!”
“What? You can’t call a boy pretty. That just sounds wrong.”
“He does have a point, you know.
“Hey look, she has your eyes, Sirius.”
“Lucky girl, right?”
Rachael nodded halfheartedly, just to get those three to stop acting so childish. She was surprised that Peter was acting the most mature out of all of them. That was a first. Remus was usually the one who held the maturity in their group. Now he was acting just as immature as his friends. Even Sirius was joining in. He was going to have a great influence on his daughter.
Remus cleared his throat and looked down at the bundle his sister was holding. “So what are you naming her?”
Rachael looked down at her daughter and over to Lily who was standing in the background. “How do you like this? I’m going to name her after someone who’s always been there for me, for as long as I can remember.”
“You mean you’re naming her Jamie?” James piped up.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Of course, James,” he said sarcastically. “I want my daughter to be named after you, of all people. We’re naming her Siriusa!”
“Is that even a name?” Peter snickered.
“No, we’re naming her Lily!” Rachael cut in through their laughs. “Lily is the person who’s always been there for all of us, no matter what.”
Lily smiled, obviously embarrassed, but clearly pleased.
“Thank you,” she managed to say.
“Any time. Just remember, Sirius is going to be begging you to name your son after him now.”
Sirius, pretending to look insulted, turned away, and said, “No I’m not.”
James shook his head and stepped forward.
“Well, we’ve got to be going,” he said, stooping down to give Rachael a hug and slapping Sirius on the back. “Let it be known that on this day, January 15th, 1980, Sirius and Rachael Black have become parents to this beautiful little girl. Come on, Lily, Peter, Remus, I believe we have an Order meeting at our house. Good night, see you in the morning.”
The four exited the room, leaving Rachael, Sirius and their daughter alone.
“So,” said Sirius, sitting down next to the hospital bed. “Have any ideas for a middle name?”
“No, you have any?”
“Well, I’ve always been partial to the name Elizabeth. How does that sound? Lily Elizabeth Black.”
“I like it.”
Sirius smiled and looked down at his daughter, hardly believing that he was now a father to such a beautiful baby. She was perfect to him in every way. Her hair was a light shade of brown. Her eyes a bright blue colour. He couldn’t imagine ever having a more beautiful baby.
“She looks just like you,” he said. “James was right, she did take after you.”
“I wonder what would happen if his son ended up looking like him?”
“The world isn’t big enough for two of him. There wouldn’t be enough egos for everyone else.”
“True,” Rachael agreed. “We’ve already inflated it enough by making him her godfather and Lily her godmother. We’re not helping the matter.”
“No, we aren’t.”
Sirius yawned and said he was going to get some sleep. He gave Rachael a kiss on the forehead and settled down in his chair.
Once Sirius was asleep Rachael looked down at Lily, this was her child… hers and Sirius’s. They were parents now and this was their child.
Lily looked at Rachael, completely dumbfounded at what she had just seen. The scene was far too detailed and accurate for it to be made up. The way it was shown made her deem it true. She wasn’t Lily Elizabeth Jameson. Instead she was Lily Elizabeth Black. Everything was making sense, finally. She had spent the past few months feeling miserable about Sirius’s death. She had felt like she had lost her own father. Now, she finally knew that she had really lost her father. She just didn’t know it was him. She sighed and looked up at Rachael.
“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. “It’s just… I’ve been having a hard time since the summer and now to find out that I never knew my real parents. I didn’t know how to react, so I just yelled.”
“It’s okay. If I was you I’d feel the same way.” Rachael sat down at the table and took the letter back. “It’s strange how something like this could bring out the truth, I’ve been wondering where you ended up for years and the way I found out was through your werewolf registration papers.”
Lily tried to smile, though it wasn’t in the least bit funny. But what Rachael had said made her wonder. “Why did you give me up? From what you showed me, it seemed like you and Sirius were really happy.”
“We were really happy. That’s why I’ve been trying to find out where you were. Look, you know what happened the night Voldemort fell, when Harry defeated him. I thought Sirius had really done it. I thought Sirius had betrayed Lily and James. I didn’t want to, but all signs pointed to him, and he had been acting so strangely…”
It was a cold Halloween night, one that was perfect for trick or treaters who were eager to go out in their costumes and get candy from the neighbours. This wasn’t one year to go out, not with all the horrible things that had been going on, not when the war was at its peak and the risk of going outside was too great. They would’ve to wait until next year.
Rachael sat on the couch in the living room, gently rocking Lily to sleep. The howling wind had woke her up and she wasn’t able to fall asleep. Rachael had a bad feeling. There was something about the howling of that wind and the darkness of the night made her feel something bad was going to happen, something that could possibly change their lives forever. Sirius was apparently having the same feeling, as he couldn’t stop pacing across the room and looking out the window, as though he was expecting the Dark Lord to appear at their porch at any minute.
“Sirius, stop pacing!” she said at last. “You’re making the baby nervous.”
Sirius sighed and sat down in the chair behind him, attempting to stay still, though he couldn’t prevent his knee from hopping uncontrollably.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just have a bad feeling… like something’s wrong with James and Lily.”
“What do you mean? They’re safe as long as you kept their location a secret. Why would you be worried? You said it yourself that you would rather die before betraying them.”
“And I would! It’s just… listen I’ll be back later. I need to check on Peter.”
“Sirius-”
“I’ll be fine. You just stay here. I’ll be back later.”
But Sirius never came back. Rachael waited up for hours, hoping that he would come home. She dreaded that something might have happened to him. All of the members of the Order of the Phoenix were on the top of Voldemort’s list, him most of all, along with James and Lily. That was why they were forced into hiding with their son, Harry. Sirius was their Secret Keeper. He wouldn’t betray them… he couldn’t.
There was a sharp knock at the door. Rachael jumped up and pulled her wand out of her pocket.
“Rachael, it’s Remus!” came her brother’s voice from outside. “Let me in, I need to tell you something.”
Rachael sighed in relief and let him in. The moment Remus stumbled into the room; she could tell something was wrong. Remus’s face was red and his eyes were shining. Remus was never one to cry unless something really horrible had happened. Her worst fears were confirmed.
“Remus, what happened?”
“Its James and Lily,” he chocked. “Rachael… they’re dead. I was just down at Godric’s Hollow. Their house was in flames. We brought the bodies to a morgue not too far from there… Hagrid helped. He’s bringing Harry to his aunt and uncle’s. Harry survived. He defeated Voldemort.”
“Remus, what-”
“Sirius betrayed them! He gave their location to Voldemort. He betrayed Lily and James. I’m sorry.”
Rachael didn’t say anything. She just stared at her brother. How could this be true? How could Sirius just go and betray his best friends? And his godson, for goodness’s sake! He was their best friend and he went and killed them! She rubbed her eyes and took a shuddering breath. This wasn’t true, she told herself. It couldn’t be true. That would explain why he was so nervous earlier…
“Remus…”
“I’m sorry.”
Remus pulled his sister into a hug, both of them crying, neither of them knowing what else to do. Sirius had not only betrayed Lily, James and Harry… he had betrayed Remus, his wife and his daughter. Sirius Black was truly gone forever.
“Keep her safe here. Please, don’t let anything bad happen to her.”
“We’ll keep her safe, Ms. Lupin. Don’t worry about it.”
“Thank you, Professor. I just can’t believe this is happening.”
Professor McGonagall nodded solemnly, her eyes looking bloodshot. It was the night after Halloween and Rachael found herself at an orphanage. It was a special orphanage that was open to both wizards and Muggles. Professor McGonagall helped run it. As she took Lily away from her mother, she reassured her that her daughter would be safe. They would find the perfect family for her.
“I can’t keep her, not with Sirius around. Who knows what could happen,” Rachael said, struggling to keep her voice in check.
“I can’t understand this any more than you can,” the professor agreed. “Sirius was always such a good kid, mischievous yes, but his heart was always in the right place.”
“I guess his parents’ influence got the best of him… I should go now. Promise me, Professor, that she’ll be safe. I don’t want her to remember any of this until I find her. I don’t want anyone else to tell her what happened.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll take good care of her.”
“Thank you.” Rachael walked over to the cradle her daughter was sleeping in and leaned over, giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Goodbye Lily…”
“I wasn’t able to locate you after everything had settled down,” Rachael said, staring down at the table. “The orphanage was burned down by Death Eaters who had wormed their way out of arrestment. All of the files of where the orphans had been sent were lost.”
“But Sirius was innocent,” Lily breathed. “He never betrayed anyone.”
“No one had any proof, everyone believed him to be guilty. Remus thought it was him, I did, everyone did. No one wanted to think it was him, but that was what everyone thought. And I only put you up for adoption because I thought you would be safe. I loved you so much and I didn’t want anything to happen to you. I just want you to love me as much.”
“I’m sorry… I just don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to call you or what to say to you. You’re really my mother.”
The two heard footsteps approaching the room and it shocked them, as the room was quiet, with the exception of Rachael’s storytelling. They looked over to see Remus coming into the room.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“And if you’re my mother,” Lily said slowly, looking between Remus and Rachael. “He’s my uncle.”
It was a grey day out, and it was best kept that way, as the mood of everyone in the cemetery was grey as well. The small group listened as Professor Dumbledore delivered his eulogy, standing behind a gravestone engraved:
1960 -1997
Died in the line of duty
R.I.P
Remus had died the night before in a battle against Death Eaters. He had put up a good fight, but still being weak from the full moon, the Death Eaters proved stronger. He was struck down with a Killing Curse sent by Lucius Malfoy. His body was recovered and sent to Hogwarts where the last four people who should have seen it, were the ones who walked in to see it being carted to Professor Dumbledore’s office. Harry, Lily, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley walked down an empty corridor to see his body being wheeled past them. Their hearts stopped.
Now, they were all standing in the funeral party, listening as Dumbledore concluded his eulogy.
“He was a brilliant and caring man… but war takes away the best of people. This time it was him.” Professor Dumbledore bowed his head and the group dispatched.
Lily broke away from her friends and made her way to Rachael, who was staring at the gravestone, her eyes shining with tears.
“It isn’t fair,” she whispered. “Remus, of all people?”
“War isn’t supposed to be fair. It’s supposed to be deadly,” Lily said, looking down at the stone as well. The tombstone next to Remus’s caught her attention. It read: Here lies Gregory H. Lupin.
“Mum, is that Grandpa?” she asked.
Rachael nodded, realising this was the first time she had recognised anyone in their family by the appropriate name. She had called Rachael by her first name ever since their first meeting. This was the first time she called her mum. She couldn’t help but smile.
“He died when we were in our fifth year,” she explained.
“Oh… well, if that’s where he’s buried, where’s Grandma? Is she still alive?”
“Yes, she’s “ right over there.” Rachael nodded towards a spot across the cemetery where she saw her mother, someone she hadn’t seen for years. Her mother looked up from her spot and her eyes met Rachael’s. Rachael didn’t know what to do, if she should walk the other way, or approach her. Both seemed appealing, but she had to do the latter. She had to make amends with her mother and now was as good a time as any. She led Lily through the crowd and cautiously approached her mother.
“Mum?” she asked uncertainly.
“Hullo,” her mother whispered.
“I…um… I have someone for you to meet. You always told me when I was younger, before everything happened, that you wanted me to give you a granddaughter. Remember?”
“Yes, I do remember.”
“Well, here she is. Mum, I’d like you to meet your granddaughter, Lily Elizabeth Black. You never knew about her. You never knew me and Sirius got married. You didn’t know any of this and I just want you to know now.”
Mrs. Lupin looked from her daughter to Lily, who looked some much like Rachael and yet her eyes still reminded her of the boy who told her off the first night he stayed over their house during Remus’s second year. Just by looking into her granddaughter’s blue eyes suddenly made everything make sense. She now knew how horrible of a mother she had been. She now realised how sorry she was.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered sincerely. “My granddaughter, Lily…” She looked up at Rachael and, for the first time in years, pulled her into a hug and said, “Rachael… my daughter.”