James was getting tired of walking but there was nothing else he could do. He didn’t want to seem weak and ask to stop for a while. He looked down at Lily who had a strained look on her face, helping him walk… He smiled to himself, realizing how lucky he was to get this close to her. James looked up and noticed that they were passing the way to Dumbledore’s office. He looked down at Lily but she seemed to be staring straight ahead, frowning.
“Err, Evans? We just passed the way to Dumbledore’s office,” he said quietly.
“Mm-hmm,” was all the answer he got in return.
“Evans, are you there? Evans? Hello?” James stopped walking, causing Lily to swing around, snapping her out of her trance. She looked up at James in annoyance.
“Uh, Dumbledore’s office is that-a-way.” He pointed with his head. James was surprised when Lily nodded and grabbed his arm, pulling him the opposite way. James kept his feet planted on the ground, just watching Lily. What was going on with her? Why didn’t she want to see Dumbledore?
James grabbed her arm and pulled her in front of her, “Evans, look at me.” Lily looked at his chest. “Listen to me. Dumbledore. We need to go to Dumbledore. Do you understand?”
James let go of Lily in surprise when he saw that she was crying, “Uh…” Lily turned around, facing the other way. He reached for her shoulder but pulled back.
“What’s wrong?”
No answer.
James bit his lip; he wasn’t really sure what to do. He felt bad for making her cry yet he wasn’t sure how he did. All he did was say that Dumbledore’s office was the other way. She is probably just still shaky from earlier. That is all.
“Let’s go.” He gently laid his hand on her shoulder but withdrew when she whirled around quickly. Lily stared at him still crying.
“Let’s just go to the room.” She pulled his hand and yet again tried to pull him the other way.
James felt something tick, he was getting a little fed up with this. “Damn it, Evans. We have to go to Dumbledore! Why can’t you see that?”
Lily slid down to the floor, defeated. She seemed hopeless. James suddenly felt sorry for his outburst and slid down next to her, “Come on. Tell me what’s wrong,” he said calmly.
Lily looked over at him, “I… well…” her voice faltered. James waited patiently for her to continue and Lily looked grateful for that.
“It’s just that you scared me when you were under the curse. I was really afraid. And now that my...” She trailed off again.
“And now that your what?” This only caused Lily to burst out crying again. James fidgeted uncomfortably-things weren’t turning out well. His heart was throbbing from making Lily cry again and his head was pulsing with questions of her problems. He grasped his hands together; he wanted to comfort her but was afraid to do so. Finally, making up his mind, he gingerly put his hand on her shoulder. However, Lily took no notice, and she didn't seem to be calming down either.
“Lily, stop crying. Please,” James added uncomfortably. Lily looked up at him, tears staining her face and a surprised look on her face. It was then when James had realized what he just did: He actually called her by her first name.
“Tell me… what is wrong?”
James looked into Lily’s eyes and waited patiently.
Lily stared at the floor before finally talking:
”When you were… down and it was just me and Bellatrix, she said something…” Lily paused and James waited with bated breath. “She said that if… that if any one of us,” her voice cracked, “tells anyone of what happened…”
James watched her, expecting the worse.
”Our family.”
That was all Lily had to say for James to understand. James pushed himself up and wringed his hands. He suddenly felt dizzy and tried to shake the feeling out of his head.
Neither of them talked for a moment, James trying to grasp what had just happened, Lily staring at her hands.
"So who do we go to?” James said suddenly.
"What?"
"There has got to be a way around this,” James said slowly.
Lily’s face grew angry, yet James detected some fear, “Are you crazy? We can’t tell anyone! What don't you get?" Lily exclaimed.
”Lily, you don't understand what I was trying to say. I meant our-"
“No, you don’t understand Potter,” she growled, “If we tell anyone of this, our parents… our families will die. We can’t tell anyone. Not even Sirius.”
“Are you saying Sirius will deceive us? He’s not like that-“
”No, I am saying that we need to be careful.”
Lily continued glaring at James, and he noticed that her hands were shaking. With fury or fear, he didn’t know. Probably of both.
James blinked his eyes hard, his head was pounding again. His thoughts were tumbling around and James couldn’t grasp a hold of any moment, feeling numb. Things were going to fast for him, from Lily accusing him of dark arts to Bellatrix and the curse to the family threat. James for once was at a loss.
James took in a deep breath, looking at Lily, who was standing up now.
”Well what do we do?”
Lily eyes averted to the sunless window and she gazed into it, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration. “We just don’t tell anyone.”
”I know.”