"Harry?!" Remus said with a puzzled expression. "What are you doing up here?"
Harry, who was startled by Remus' appearance, quickly lowered his wand as he realized it was him. "Oh, Professor Lupin, I was just…."
"Harry, Harry," Remus interrupted waving his hand dismissively. "Please call me Remus." "We've been through too much to be so formal."
"S..Sorry Remus." Harry replied, "You just surprised me, that's all."
"Yes, you surprised me as well." Remus said with a smile. "I thought you were a vandal or something. You really shouldn't come here alone, Harry, it isn't….."
"Safe for me, yeah I know." Harry suddenly interrupted; his expression went from surprise to annoyance.
"I know I shouldn't be out here by myself but I just needed some time alone." He sat down on the huge four-poster bed and stared down at the floor. "The common room was too crowded and Ron and Hermione, they…they just don't understand."
Remus could feel the grief coming off of Harry as he sat there examining the floor. He walked forward and sat down next to him. "I know how you feel, Harry." Remus said. His words sounded strangled. "It's been a very difficult time for all of us, but mostly for you." He paused for a moment and went on. "I know how it feels to be constantly hurt, emotionally and physically."
Harry cleared his throat and lifted his head to look at the wall but said nothing. Remus continued.
"What I'm saying is that you are not alone and that there are plenty of people out there who want to help, whether they understand you or not. Everyone needs time to grieve, Harry, but we have to stick together on this or we won't stand a chance." Remus' words were followed by a tense silence in which Harry had finally turned to face him.
"What about my parents?" Harry asked as his voice started to rise. "What about them, huh? They fought for what was right, they stayed together and look where it has gotten them!"
"Harry…listen…" Remus began.
"NO YOU LISTEN!" he shouted as he practically jumped off the bed. "WHAT ABOUT SIRIUS?! HE STAYED COOPED UP IN THAT DAMN HOUSE OF HIS AND WHEN HE WAS FINALLY SET FREE TO FIGHT WITH THE OTHERS LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!!" His voice was starting to crack.
Remus was staring at him helplessly. His eyes were burning with the formation of tears.
"And you know what the worst thing is? The worst thing about it is that it's all my fault!" Harry said; his voice was dripping with self-hate.
"Harry, it is not your fault!"
"YES IT IS!" Harry yelled angrily. "That's exactly what Ron and Hermione say all the time; that it isn't my fault. Well it is! If I didn't have this stupid scar on my head then I would be normal! I wouldn't be an orphan! I wouldn't have lost Sirius!!" His voice broke off and he turned away.
Remus' eyes were welling up with tears. He wiped them away as he walked over to Harry.
"Harry look at me," he said.
Harry hesitated, wiped his eyes, and turned slowly to face Remus. His eyes were so full of passion; it reminded Remus briefly of Lily and James. He was so very much like them.
Remus reached out his hands and placed them on Harry's shoulders.
"Listen, Harry, please." Remus said in a calming voice. Harry blinked; his eyes were red and puffy. "Harry, your parents died to save you because they loved you and believed in you; the same with Sirius. It was their decision and no part of their deaths was your fault. They wouldn't want you to act this way, Harry. Make them proud and show everyone that you are as strong as they have always known you to be."
Harry's eyes were rimmed with tears. He stood there apparently at a loss for words.
"Oh," Remus said suddenly. "I think I should give you this." He said as he pulled a piece of old folded paper from his pocket and handed it to him. "You need it more than I do."
Harry took it and unfolded the aged paper to reveal what it really was. It was an old photograph, a wizard photograph. In it were Sirius, James, and Lily with baby Harry on her lap. They were sitting on a blanket underneath a big tree; it looked like they were having a picnic. They all waved up at him; even baby Harry was flexing his fingers in imitation. Sirius smiled his handsome grin at the tiny Harry and then up at the older Harry as if he knew that he would be looking at this photo one day. A tear rolled down Harry's cheek and he quickly brushed it away.
"Remus, I can't accept this…." Harry began.
"You will take it Harry. I've got it permanently stuck in my head by now and you'll probably take better care of it than I did." Remus said, noting on the tattered state of it.
Words failed Harry again. He stared at Remus with grateful eyes and then suddenly embraced him. Remus was taken by surprise but he returned the hug. "Thank you." Harry finally managed to say. "Thank you."
Remus broke away from him and smiled warmly. "You're welcome." he said sincerely. "Now, let's get out of here before we freeze to death."
Harry nodded and followed Remus out of the shack through the door he had entered earlier. "I'll walk you up to the castle." Remus said as they started walking towards the castle.
"Oh, that's alright I can…" Harry stopped speaking and walking abruptly.
Remus didn't have to ask why. Everything had gone dark and cold; even colder than before. The few lights that were once visible from the castle windows were now gone. Out of nowhere came at least sixty dementors bearing down on them. Remus was already drowning in cold and he could hear a wolf howling in his head and it was steadily getting louder. Harry had reached for his wand and was yelling, attempting to produce a Patronus but only a thin wisp of smoke was coming out.
Great, what now? Remus' mind was racing. What were dementors doing at Hogwarts? I know Harry can produce a Patronus but since Sirius' death he has been much more vulnerable. So much more despair for the dementors to feed off of. He needs me, he needs his teacher, his friend but I've never produced a Patronus before, why would I be able to now?
He began to rack his brains for happy memories; all too aware that he was getting colder and that Harry's yells as he desperately attempted to produce a Patronus were becoming strangled and weak. The howling that had started was now deafening. Come on, Remus, think! His mind demanded. He thought of the photo. He thought of how it had made Harry feel. He thought of Sirius' face as it had smiled up at him. He thought of his bark-like laugh and how he felt when he ran with Padfoot through the forest every full moon. The howling was now being drowned out by Sirius' laugh.
He suddenly felt a burst of happiness in which he had only experienced as a boy when he was with James, Sirius, and Peter. It was amazing. He felt invincible. It was now or never. He plunged his hands into his robes and grabbed his wand. He yelled as loud as he could manage: "EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!!!"
A burst of light shot from his wand as if he had turned on the world's brightest flashlight. They were bathed in a light brighter than the sun and it seemed to Remus as if it was warming his soul.
The dementors had stopped but didn't retreat. Remus moved forward and held his wand higher. A large shaggy dog suddenly bounded out of the sea of light and tore after the dementors. Remus watched the dog in amazement as he lunged at each dementor, making sure none of them got close to Remus. Some of the dementors were turning and leaving as others tried to take the dog on.
Suddenly, another burst of bright light had erupted from Harry's wand. He had finally managed to produce the Patronus. The stag had appeared and was now charging the remaining dementors. It caught up with the dog and they ran side by side after the last few dementors until they were gone. At Remus' side, Harry stood with his mouth and his eyes wide open; the light was illuminating his dark green eyes. Remus watched as the stag and the dog turned back to look at Harry and him. They bowed their heads as their conjurors looked on in appreciation and awe. The light that had covered the ground was now fading; making the forms look brighter for a brief moment before they too faded away into the night.
That was when Remus felt it again. The flicker of warmth he once experienced was back, although now it was more like a roaring fire. He had just seen his best friend again, he knew it. He had come back to fight with his friend, to keep him safe, to keep the beacon of hope bright. He realized that James and Sirius were still there in a way; they were in Harry and him. He finally wasn't cold anymore despite the wintry chill in the air and the snow falling down around him. He turned to Harry who was still very surprised at what had just happened. He felt a sudden urge to laugh but only beamed at him. He put his arm around Harry and they headed up towards the castle and as he thought about his Patronus, he was filled with a sudden renewed hope.
THE END