"BLOODY HE--"
"Watch your language Ron Weasley!"
"RONALD IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU NEVER PAY ATTENTION IN HISTORY OF MAGIC!"
"AND IT'S NOT MY BLOODY FAULT YOU WON'T HELP ME WITH MY ESSAY HERMIONE!"
"Ron Weasley I'm warning youâ”â
"RONALD YOU'VE HAD ALL SUMMER!"
"HERMIONE IF YOU WOULD JUST LET MEâ”â
"NO RONALD!"
Fred and George watched the scene in amusement. Ron and Hermione were sitting across from each other at the wooden table that occupied most of the space in the simple kitchen of the Burrow. They had been at each otherâs throats since the beginning of breakfast (which consisted mainly of chocolate chip toast with marmalade and banana juice in case you were wondering). Fred seemed to recall that the blazing row before him at begun at a completely tactless comment by that idiot brother of his. I believe Ron called Hermione an insufferable know-it-all. Blimey, I didnât even know âinsufferableâ was in his vocabulary! Fred glanced at Ginny and Harry. They were wolfing down their breakfasts and occasionally shooting a look at the quarrelers down the table. Obviously they hoped to be out of the warzone as soon as possible.
"IF YOU WERENâT SUCH A SODDINGâ”â
âRONALD WEASLEY THAT IS ENOUGH!â Mrs. Weasley exploded. Her carrot-colored hair contrasted sharply with her brilliantly red face.
âBut Mumâ”â
âYOUâD BETTER JUST SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE BEFORE I GET OUT MY BAR OF SCOURGYâS SCOURGIFYING SOAP AND WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT!â
Ronâs mouth snapped shut. He glared at Hermione, who stuck her tongue out at him in return. Ron snatched a last piece of toast and stormed out of the room, muttering something that sounded like âLoganiipooheadâ.
Fred and his twin chuckled and Mrs. Weasley spun around to face them. In response to her less-than-friendly look, the troublesome two made puppy dog faces. It was a well-known fact that Mrs. Weasley could not resist their puppy faces. It was in her motherly nature to help the pitiful. Fred and George had learned this at a very early age and regularly use it to their advantage. She chucked a nearby doorknob after them for good measure and Fred winced in pain as it struck his head. George doubled over laughing.
Once Mrs. Weasley had turned back to her cooking, the boys relaxed and Fred checked up on Harry and Ginny. They had long since fled the room and only a sulking bushy-haired Hermione remained. George motioned to him to follow him up to their room so they could continue working on their latest concoctions.
âSoooâŚâ George began.
âIâm thinking, Iâm thinking,â Fred said. His look changed to one of complete concentration and soon he and George were in full plotting mode. HmmmâŚnew kinds of Puking Pastilles? NoâŚsome fake wands that turn into doorknobs? No, thatâs too dangerous, he thought, rubbing the bump on his head.
âI suppose we could always make Peacock Pastries,â he said aloud.
âNahâŚweâve already got Canary Creams,â George said after a minute of thought, âWhat about a new variety of dungbombs? Perhaps, letâs sayâŚskunkbombs?â
âI donât know about you my friend, but Iâd rather not go chasing after a skunk at the moment.â
âAh. Excellent point.â
WAAAAIT a second, Fred thought excitedly. The episode at breakfast flashed into his evil mind. âYOUâD BETTER JUST SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE BEFORE I GET OUT MY BAR OF SCOURGYâS SCOURGIFYING SOAP AND WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT!â
âThatâs it!â he cried.
âEh?â
Ronâs foul languageâŚsoapâŚpie-holeâŚMumâs mercy for years of pranks to comeâŚAHA! Brilliant! I am amazing! I am beautiful! I am a banana! Fred cried silently in exultation. Did I just call myself a banana? HmmmâŚ
âGeorge,â he said with a wolfish grin, âGeorge, my dear, I have an idea.â
âFred, I do believe this is the best meal weâve served our unsuspecting victims since that chunky juice two weeks ago.â
âIndeed. Is it done?â
George put on purple oven mitts decorated with carrots and pulled their creation out of the small oven the twins stored in their room. The oven buzzed slightly and emitted a seafoam green cloud of smoke. Fred cackled when he saw their masterpiece. It smelled clean and faintly of fresh pines. A few orange bubbles rose from it and floated lazily around the room, popping randomly.
âItâs beautiful,â he sighed.
âYup.â
Fred gazed at it for another few minutes, before George snapped him back into reality. âThis is no time to frolic with fluffy puppies in pie land Fred! There is still work to be done! Do you honestly think Ron will willingly eat our pie with it looking like this?â
Fred squinted at the pie. He has a point.
âThatâs what I thought. Now what kind of pie does Ron like?â
âUmâŚevery kind thatâs edibleâŚâ
âYes, wellâŚâ
âHe seems to really find peach pie appetizing though,â Fred said thoughtfully, fingering the chipped wooden post of his bed that had the words âAngelina Weasleyâ carved into them. He shook his head to clear his mind and looked back up at George.
âPerfect. Fred would you mind going downstairs and filling Mum in while I cast a Disillusionment Charm on Ronaldâs dessert?â
âOi! Iâm not going down there! Mum will bite my head off faster than you can say âLoganiipooheadâ!â he exclaimed.
âLohany whaâ”?â
âNever mind. Something I heard Ron say earlier. As I was saying, YOU are going down into the dragonâs den, not me.â
âWhat did I do to deserve that?â
âNothing. Itâs just that I donât want to and since Iâm the mastermind of this, what I say goes, remember? Itâs rule #276 of that handbook on pranking Sirius gave us. Look it up if you donât believe me.â
George walked to the dresser the twins shared and opened the drawer where they kept The Official Handbook to All Things Mischievous by Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. He leafed through the unevenly cut pages and stopped about one-third of the way through the book. His eyes scanned the page and his face fell. Fred smirked as his brother carefully put the book back and trudged out of the room.
The twins made their way down the hall to dinner. Their cheeks were peachy-pink and the corners of their lips were turned up slightly in a very suspicious looking way. When they entered the kitchen, their mother gave them a small grin and a wink. Mr. Weasley, Ginny, Harry, and Hermione followed them in and sat down. Ron was already seated of course, awaiting his meal patiently.
âMum,â he whined, âHurry up. Iâm gonna stick a fork through my head if you donât get food on the table within the next ten seconds!â
Hermione rolled her eyes and whispered something to Ginny, who giggled and glanced at Ron. Ron shot them his favorite look. The infamous glare.
âNow dear, Iâm sure you wouldnât want to do that, what with the peach pie I made for us to have after dinner,â she said, her eyes sparkling.
My mum is beautiful, thought Fred happily, beautiful like a banana. He smacked his head at the banana thought and George looked at him worriedly.
âPie? Weâre having pie? All right then,â Ron perked up a bit and remained quiet until Mrs. Weasley served his dinner moments later.
When the group had finished their dinner, Mrs. Weasley excused herself from the table. Ron watched her exit in anticipation.
âI hope she went to get the pie. Iâm starving,â he said.
âRon you just ate!â Hermione cried indignantly.
âSo?â
âYou canât be starving if you just ate!â
âActually Hermione,â came Harryâs voice, âIn Ronâs case, you can.â Ginny snorted.
âNever underestimate the capacity of Ron Weasleyâs stomach,â Ginny said solemnly, trying to keep a straight face. Hermione sniffed disapprovingly and opened her mouth to retort.
âAh. Mum. How really corking to see you,â Fred cut in, preventing several headaches. Mrs. Weasley raised her eyebrows at him. âWonderful timing I might addâ”â
âTruly impeccable timing,â said George in her ear. Her mouth formed an âOâ shape as she realized what they meant.
âPIE!â Ron cheered.
Hermione rolled her eyes. Ron glared. Harry smirked. Ginny giggled.
âYes dear, pie. Honestly, thereâs no need to state the obvious. It just gets irritating and causes headaches,â Mrs. Weasley scolded. Harry and Ginny snorted simultaneously, glanced at each other, and fell into crazy fits of laughter. Hermione grinned. Ron glared.
âWell, Mum,â George pressed, âI believe you have some pie to serve?â
âOh yes, of course,â she said somewhat flustered. She cut a large slice and placed it on a blue plate, which she set in front of Ron.
âDig in!â she smiled and tucked her hands in the pockets of her apron.
Harry, Ginny, and Hermione looked at Mrs. Weasley. She winked and hummed a bit.
âMum,â Ginny asked tentatively, âPie?â
âYes. It is pie.â
âNo, Mum. I mean, may I have some?â
âOf course not.â
âWhat?â the pie-less children chorused unhappily.
âTrust me Gin. You donât need any of this pie,â she said.
At this, Ginnyâs eyes welled up with tears and she shot out of her seat, a concerned Harry right behind her. When they had almost reached the door, Fred and George held out their hands. Ginny tried to push past, but Fred wouldnât let her. As she struggled to get free, he winked and gave her an evil smile.
âBelieve me, Gin. Youâll want to be here for the festivities.â
George smirked. âOnly a moment moreâŚheâs almost to the crustâŚâ
Ginny and Harry spun around just in time to see Ron gag and start foaming at the mouth. He started to run around the room screaming incoherently. Orange bubbles were flying everywhere.
The whole kitchen erupted with laughter. Fred and George smiled proudly and patted each other on the back. Ginny and Harry were leaning on each other for support as they roared with laughter. Hermione tried to shoot a displeased look at the twins, but failed miserably when she started to snicker upon seeing Ron try to wash his mouth out with water.
Fred sniggered. âOi Ron! We thought weâd mentionâ”â
ââ”that only makes it worse!â George finished, clutching his sides with laughter.
An hour later, when Ron was finally cleaned up and he and Harry were off playing a brutal game of Wizardâs Chessâ”Hermione and Ginny were watching, both cheering for Harry as Hermione had yet to forgive Ron for the row at breakfastâ”Fred and George popped open a couple of butterbeers and had a toast.
âTo another brilliant bit of mischief perfectly executedâ”â
ââ”and to many more to come!â
They clinked bottles and took a few swigs, watching their father curiously as he tried to use the pie dish to conduct electricity into one of his plugs. Ah, yes. Everything is as it should be. Beautiful as a banana.
Please leave me a review so I know if I should keep writing fanfics or just stick to boring old essays...