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Summer of Several Attempts by allieb

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They pulled quietly up to Number 4 Privet Drive. The house was completely dark. It was really eerie to Harry. The last time he had seen Number 4, it had been a literal war zone with bodies on the ground, flashing lights, screams, and he had been in a lot of pain.

“You alright there, Harry?” Ron asked as he and Fred pulled him out of the backseat.

“Yeah,” Harry said quietly, “it’s just…” Harry drifted off, not knowing how to explain. He shuddered, and touched his bandaged side.

Both Ron and Fred looked concerned. Fred said, “Come on Harry, we need to get you inside, before anyone else arrives.”

Harry nodded and threw his left arm over Fred, his right over Ron. They quickly made their way up the driveway to the front door. Harry tried the door, but it was locked.

“Don’t you have a way to get in?” Ron asked, puzzled.

Harry’s insides gave an uncomfortable turn. “Well, no, not actually. Fred, can I have my wand back?”

Fred handed it over to him without contest.

Harry whispered, “Alohomora,” and the door unlocked.

Fred and Ron looked somewhere between puzzled and outraged. “You mean you don’t have a way to get into your own house?” Ron asked.

“Sure, I do,” Harry said trying to make light of it, “magic.”

“You know what I mean,” Ron said looked aggrieved. “Those Muggles won’t give you a way into your own house. That’s just plain rude.”

Harry was suddenly irritated, “What do you want me to say, Ron?” Harry’s emotions burst through the surface. “My family, the only living relatives I have can’t stand me. They don’t love me, they don’t care about me, and as far as they’re concerned I’m worthless!” Harry voice was rising as they proceeded through the door. “I slept in the cupboard under the stairs for ten years, in a four bedroom house. Two of my grammar school teachers reported them for neglect, but I had no where else to go. They purposely kept me as miserable as possible.”

Harry’s rant was interrupted by barking. Ripper, Aunt Marge’s bulldog, ran down the stairs and started to bark loudly at Harry and the Weasleys. Ripper was followed immediately by Aunt Marge herself.

“You!” Aunt Marge accused. “How dare you set foot in this house again? GET OUT! GET OUT, NOW!”

Ron and Fred looked shocked at her reaction. Harry, on the other hand, had been preparing himself for it as soon as they settled on coming back.

“In case you have forgotten, Aunt Marge, I live here,” Harry replied as calmly as possible given his current mood. “I just want to go up to my room.”

“You will do no such thing. You will turn around and get out of this house, now. It was good of my brother to take in the first place, and all you have done is brought trouble down for his whole family. I suppose the gunman who shot my brother was some colleague of yours, from St. Brutus’s?”

Aunt Marge had hit close to the truth, even if her facts were twisted. Harry knew it, but couldn’t keep from snapping at her. “For your information,” Harry started, “the person who shot Uncle Vernon and me was an old co-worker of his. As much as you would like to blame me for all the troubles suffered by this entire family, sometimes I’m just as innocent as your beloved Dudley.”

Aunt Marge retorted back, “That does not change the fact that you cannot enter this house. You will not stay here. I’m in charge, and I will not take charge of you. You will leave now, or I will summon the police and have you arrested for trespassing.”

“No you won’t,” said a new voice from behind her, shielded from view by her massive frame. Dudley’s voice wafted down into the foyer. “He lives here for crying out loud. What are you going to say to the police, that he can’t live here because you aren’t his guardian? He still lives here, all of his stuff is in his bedroom.”

“Besides,” Fred put in, “all the police are rather busy with the explosion at the hospital.”

Marge and Dudley both reeled at the new information. Marge changed her tone very quickly, “My God, where was it? Are Vernon and Petunia okay?” She rounded on Fred to whom she hadn’t looked at before.

Ron answered the question, “It was outside the hospital, so I doubt either of them was hurt. I don’t know for sure though.”

Harry put in, “I’m pretty sure the building was damaged, so they’ll both probably have to be moved.”

Aunt Marge looked back to Harry, “What are you doing here anyway? You obviously couldn’t have been discharged yet.”

Harry all of a sudden felt very tired, he leaned more heavily on Fred and Ron. “Let’s just say, I was convinced to leave by the same folks who made me an orphan in the first place.”

Aunt Marge looked confused, “Your parents were killed in a car accident. Your father was driving drunk. It was his fault that he died and he should have taken you with them. Stop your lying, boy.”

Dudley emerged from behind his Aunt and looked down at Harry from the top of the stairs. He replied anxiously, “My Mum, is she safe? Are they going to go after her?”

Harry’s mouth dropped, Dudley was right, Aunt Petunia was a target for the Death Eaters. Harry sighed, “You’re right, Dudley, she is a target. I don’t know what kind of protection she has. Fred,” Harry turned to him, “go, please. Get back to the hospital and make sure there is some kind of protection for my aunt and uncle.” Harry took his arm off of Fred and pulled out his wand again. He handed it off to Fred. “Take it and go.”

“Harry, Mum told me specifically to make sure I got you safely to Grimmauld Place. And I’m not about to leave you and Ron here without any kind of protection.”

“Listen Fred, I’m safe here. I always have been. My Mum died trying to protect me from Voldemort. She left a protection in me that is bound to blood. I’m safe here because this is the house where my blood lives. As long as I’m here, Voldemort and his supporters cannot touch me.”

Fred looked confused and not convinced, “I’ve never heard of anything like this before. And trust me, I’ve heard a lot.”

“Its old magic,” Harry said. “I doubt that anyone studies it anymore. Trust me, I’m safe here. Well, at least from Death Eaters, not from gunman.” Harry winced as the pain started again in his side.

“What are you talking about?” Aunt Marge fumed looking from Ron, to Harry, to Fred all in turn.

They glanced at her and then Fred continued, “What about Ron? Is he safe? I’m not about to leave here if Ron is danger.”

“I don’t know,” Harry admitted tiredly, “I don’t know if the protection would extend to Ron or not.”

“Then I’m not going anywhere, I’m not leaving my little brother in danger,” Fred responded resolutely.

“For crying out loud, Fred,” Ron said exasperatedly. “I’ve been in more danger hanging around Harry then you have ever been. I’ll be fine. I’ll call for Bill and Charlie as soon as you leave.”

“We’ll call for them now, and then I’ll go. I’m not leaving you two alone like this,” Fred mumbled, “Avoco Frater,” and seemed to go into a trance.

Harry moved to sit down on the steps. He was getting really tired. He finally got a good look at Dudley. Dudley didn’t look good. He looked peaky, which was difficult for someone so massive to do. Dudley was watching Fred, looking concerned. Harry spoke to him softly through his own growing pain, “I’m sure that they are guarding her. They wouldn’t leave her unprotected.”

Dudley nodded, and then looked up in surprise, Bill and Charlie Weasley had just Apparated in the room. The older brothers quickly surveyed the scene, and clearly relieved, Bill grabbed Fred by the arm and Charlie pulled Ron into a one armed hug.

“Thank God, you all are safe,” Charlie sighed, the relief evident.

“Mum was having kittens I’ll have you know,” Bill chastised and then took another quick look around. “Umm, hello,” he said to Aunt Marge and then “Oblivate.”

Aunt Marge’s face fell into a very calm state, like she was asleep on her feet. Bill looked between Ron and Fred standing and Harry sitting on the steps and said, “You guys owe us a very big explanation. Where are we anyway?”

“My house,” Harry said through clenched teeth as the pain was growing. “This is where I live.” He then turned quickly to Fred and said, “Get going please. Ron and I will explain to Bill and Charlie.”

“All right, I’ll be back as soon as I can with news. Remember you have to get rid of the stolen car,” Fred said to Ron and then he Disapparated.

Charlie looked at Ron, “You stole a car?”

“Well, yeah, I guess. It was all that we could figure to do at the time,” Ron mumbled in a barely audible voice.

All of sudden everyone was asking questions at once, Dudley’s angry voice came down the stairs asking about his aunt, while Bill was demanding to know why they left the hospital, and Charlie was asking about the stolen car.

Ron and Harry looked at each other helplessly. Ron finally spoke up, “We need to get rid of that car first thing, agreed?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah, before anyone finds it in our driveway.”

Ron looked at his brothers, “Do either you want to come with me, I have to get rid of a car.”

Bill and Charlie looked at each other. Charlie spoke up first, “I’ll go with the carjacker; you need to clean up a memory.”

Bill smiled, “Sounds good. Make sure that the little thief doesn’t lead you any further astray.”

Ron and Charlie left out the front door. Bill turned his attention to Aunt Marge. He was concentrating on her looking directly into her eyes. Harry had a feeling that Bill was a skilled Legilimens. Dudley angrily came down the stairs, yelling and cursing at Bill.

“Stop it,” he yelled, “don’t hurt her. If you hurt her, I’ll beat you into pulp, you red headed freak.”

“Calm down, Dudley,” Harry said soothingly, “Bill is just changing her memory so she won’t remember anything about the magical world. You know, people popping in and out, spells and such. He’s not going to hurt her, I promise you.”

Dudley seemed to buy what Harry said, he didn’t try to hurt Bill, but he watched him closely, his fists clenched tightly. Bill finished his memory modifying, and then started to talk to Aunt Marge in low tones. She looked up, peaceful look gone. Bill said to her, “Ms. Dursley, I think you are tired. Why don’t you head back up to bed?”

Aunt Marge shook her head a little, as if to clear it, and then said, “Yes, you are right. I could use some sleep. Good Night, Dudley.” She walked past all of them, up the stairs and into the spare room.

It left Dudley, Harry, and Bill in the foyer of the house. They all looked at each in uncomfortable silence. Harry felt like he should do something to alleviate the awkwardness, but he was so tired. Harry turned to lean against the wall. He shut his eyes.

“Harry,” Bill asked quietly, “are you okay? You look like death warmed over.”

Harry opened his eyes and looked between the two of them. He realized he didn’t much care what they thought, as long as he could just rest, right here. He closed his eyes again and said, “I’m all right, just tired.”

“Let’s get you up into your room. You’ll be more comfortable there,” Bill said, still quietly. Bill turned to Dudley, “Would you give me a hand?”

Dudley just nodded, and they hoisted Harry up and drug him up the stairs. They got him into his bedroom and got him situated on his bed. They heard voices from downstairs, Ron and Charlie had gotten back. Apparently, it hadn’t taken to long to get rid of the car. Bill checked once more on Harry and then went down to meet his brothers. It left Harry and Dudley alone in Harry’s room.

Dudley looked at Harry on the bed and asked quietly, “Is my Mum going to be okay?”

Harry got himself comfortable and looked over at Dudley. His face was pale and drawn. He hadn’t showered, and looked thoroughly depressed. He was obviously at the end of his rope.

Harry said quietly, “I don’t know, Dudley. I am pretty sure that she is being guarded, so she’s probably fine. Fred will be back shortly. He’ll let us know.”

“Dad’s really bad,” Dudley said in monotone, closing his eyes, “I don’t know if he’s going to make it.”

Harry just looked at him. He didn’t know what to say.

Dudley continued, “He looks so terrible. He’s hooked up to a thousand machines; he’s stopped breathing five times. One of the bullets pierced a lung. The machines go off and the nurses and doctors come running and then I’d swear that it’s the end. But then they stabilize him and we wait until the next time the machines go off.”

Harry knew his Uncle was bad, but he hadn’t realized how bad. Harry still didn’t know what to say. He just looked at Dudley helplessly.

“Mum is almost worse. She’s okay, but she’s just not there. I mean her body is there and she sits up and looks at you, but she doesn’t recognize me,” Dudley choked and tears started flowing down his checks. “I still can’t believe this happened,” Dudley sobbed, “it’s like a nightmare that you can’t wake up from.”

Harry felt compelled to say something, “I’m sorry Dud.” It was all he could come up with. His words felt so inadequate for the situation.

Dudley quietly sobbed in by the door, and Harry stared at him helplessly. Harry finally came up with something to say, “Hey, er… Thanks for pulling me out of the way and getting me to the ambulance. You probably saved my life.”

Dudley wiped the tears away, “We’re even then. You saved me, I saved you.”

“I saved you?” Harry looked at him blankly.

“Last year, the Dementers, they almost killed me. You got them to back off. You saved my life.”

“I guess,” Harry commented tiredly. “I never thought about it that way.”

“I have,” Dudley answered back. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. Those creatures when they got close to me last summer, I saw things in my head.”

Harry nodded, Dementors make you recall your worse memory. More out of curiosity then anything Harry asked, “What did you see?”

“Do you remember Mr. Davis, from 5th grade?”

Harry nodded.

“He humiliated me in front of the whole class, do you remember?”

“Er,” Harry mumbled, “no, not really.”

“He called me fat and stupid in front of the whole class. He told me I was worthless and didn’t have enough talent to go anywhere in life. He told everyone that if they wanted to be someone in life, to look at me and do the opposite. Everyone laughed at me.”

Harry remembered now. Mr. Davis had disliked Dudley and often singled him out. If Harry remembered right, that wasn’t the only time that Mr. Davis had insulted Dudley in front of everyone.

“Trouble is, he’s right,” Dudley continued his voice wavering, “I am stupid. There is no way that I’ll ever be able to get into a university like Dad wants. I’m not smart enough.”

Harry answered quickly, “You’re smart enough to get in to a university.”

“No, I’m not. I never have been. You of anyone should know that. In grammar school, you always received better marks than me, everyone did.”

Harry knew that he had usually received better marks in school than Dudley, but he thought it was more because Dudley didn’t try and Harry didn’t have anything else to do.

Dudley started to sob some more, “My parents, they don’t know me.” His crying increased and then he managed to say, “They have all these expectations of me. They want me to get into a good university; and carry on the family name and pride. They think I’m popular, and athletic. They don’t ever seem to see me, just what they want me to be. It’s a load of crap.”

Harry was bewildered. Dudley was right; his parents had never really known who he was. They were actually exceeding stupid on the subject. Harry figured that Dudley liked it because it allowed him get away with murder. Apparently that wasn’t the case.

Dudley continued, “And then everything with you. It’s not like it was your fault your parents were killed. It’s not like you wanted to be here anymore than they wanted you to be. But they treated you like such crap. They could have at least made some effort, gotten you some clothes that fit.” Dudley broke off again and his crying increased even more, “And now Dad is near death and Mum is crazy, and the last time I talked to them, we had a fight. They’ll never know; they’ll never know me,” Dudley began to wail.

Harry once again felt compelled to say something, “You love them, and they know it. They love you too.” Harry hoped that he sounded comforting.

Dudley looked over at Harry hopefully, like a drowning man, so Harry tried to continue, but he didn’t have much to say. Finally Harry came up with, “They’ll both probably pull out of it. Your Mum especially, she may have been hit by a couple of spells in that attack. If you want, I can request a healing wizard look at her, your Dad too if you want. They maybe able to do something the other doctors can’t.”

“No, they would never agree with that. I think my Dad would rather die then have you perform magic on him. I don’t get you, Harry,” Dudley shook his head at him; flickers of the bully arose from his teary eyes. “They have treated you like crap your whole life and instead of running away, you still come back here every year. You have an entire other life with people like you, and you still come back here. Why?”

Harry closed his eyes; this was not something he wanted to discuss with his cousin. “It’s complicated,” he finally conceded.

“Life complicated,” Dudley sighed, “You saved my life last year and…” Dudley dropped off the sentence.

“And what?” Harry prompted glad for a change in topic.

“I realized later that if the situation had been reversed, had it been you in danger, and I was the only one who could save you, I don’t know if I would have done it. I would have let you die.” Dudley started to cry again, “I’m a horrible person. You’re like my brother, and I would have let you die. What kind of person would do that?”

Harry winced again as the pain shot through his leg. He once again felt compelled to say something, “I don’t know, Dudley. It’s not like your parents fostered any love between us. I couldn’t let you die if there was anything I could do about it. But twenty seconds before the Dementers showed up, I was about ready to turn you into a gigantic slug. You really don’t know what you’d do in that situation before you’re in one.”

Dudley eventually stopped crying and wiped his tears away. “I suppose you’re right. I just wish that Mum and Dad knew me. They are so busy trying to make people think they are important that they miss what is important.”

Harry just stared at him. He had of course known that for years. His uncle and aunt’s self important attitude had never concerned him all that much. They weren’t his parents. His parents had died nobly, trying to protect him and take down the most evil wizard in a century. Harry didn’t feel close to his aunt and uncle, he just felt lucky to have escaped from them and to go to Hogwarts. Harry finally said, “Dudley, they don’t know you, they don’t know me. Consider yourself lucky, they at least care about you. They never have about me.”

“If you think Mum and Dad don’t care about you, why do you come back? Those red headed people downstairs, why don’t you go and live with them?” Dudley asked angrily.

“You are the only family I have. As much as everyone would prefer that I go live with the Weasleys, they still aren’t my family. You are.” Harry dropped his head down onto the pillow and mumbled, “Your Mum is the only Mum I’ve ever known. Even if she doesn’t love me.”

Dudley snapped back at Harry, “She loves you, Harry. She always has. I can’t believe you don’t think that she does.”

Harry glanced over at him, disbelief in his eyes, “Dudley, she doesn’t love me and we both know that. If she cared about me even a little bit, she would have treated me a whole lot better than she has.”

“No, she does love you. She told me so once.”

Harry was shocked, “She told you that she loved me.”

“Yes, actually, when we were still in grammar school. I was complaining about something and I said to her that I wanted you to go live at an orphanage like Aunt Marge said you should. She said, no, that you needed to live here with us. I pushed her harder about it and she still no, until she finally said, ‘Dudley, I love you more than anything; I would die to protect you. But, every time he looks at me with those eyes, he reminds me of your Aunt Lily, and your grandmother. He needs to stay here because I loved my sister, and I love him too.’”

Harry was shocked, both at the fact that Dudley remembered such a random conversion with such detail and the fact he remembered one that pertained to him. Harry had to ask, “How do you remember that? It had to be years ago.”

Dudley replied, “That was the only time I remember Mum saying she loved me too.”

Harry considered that, and he had never heard either his aunt or uncle say that they loved him, but neither had they said that they loved Dudley either.

Dudley looked uncomfortable, “I know that they love me, but it’s always good to hear, you know.”

“No, I don’t know,” Harry replied his insides squirming and getting more tired by the minute, “I’ve never known or felt like they loved me, or cared for me at all. I always thought that I was some major inconvenience that they would have rather not had.”

“I don’t suppose they did want you when you arrived on their doorstep, but they do love you now, at least Mum does. If they really hated you, they would have sent you away years ago, or made you stay at school all summer too.”

Harry closed his eyes, “Whatever, Dudley.” He couldn’t really believe Dudley. He couldn’t believe that his aunt actually cared about him. There was too much evidence to the contrary. Harry decided to try and end the conversation, “I don’t think I can talk anymore.” Harry winced again as the pain hit. It seemed to come in waves and then go again.

“Are you okay?” Dudley asked in actual concern.

Harry looked at him, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Shouldn’t you be in the hospital?” Dudley questioned. “If not in the hospital here, some hospital for people like you?”

“I suppose,” Harry conceded, “but they were there, trying to kill me again. I couldn’t stay there. This was the only place I could get.”

“Why? Why do they keep trying to kill you? What did you do?” Dudley asked him angrily.

“I didn’t do anything. I was born,” Harry replied bitterly.

“What?” Dudley asked. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Harry admitted. “But it’s the truth. I was born and Voldemort, you know, the guy who killed my parents, decided that I was a threat. I was what, fifteen months old, and he came to kill me. There was this stupid prophesy made before I was born that said that some kid would be able to bring him down. He decided that it was me, murdered my parents, and then tried to kill me. But it didn’t work, so I lived and my parents died. That’s why I had to come here. Your Mum is my only blood relative. My Mum died trying to protect me. The only place I’m safe from him is here.”

Somehow unloading the contents of the prophesy to Dudley was easier than telling someone who would actually understand.

“So he actually tried to kill you?” Dudley was incredulous, “Why would anyone try to kill a baby?”

“He just wants power, the prophesy made me a threat to his power, so he tried to kill me. And four or five times since then as well. I’ve lost count the number of times he’s tried to kill me in some way or another.”

“What do you mean he’s tried to kill you four or five times?”

Harry sighed, it was a very long story and he didn’t want to go into it. “Let’s just say that around the end of the summer term every year Voldemort tries to kill me in someway or another. Just about the time one of our teachers is sacked, killed, or incapacitated.”

“Every year?” Dudley asked.

“Yeah, mostly. I guess not my third year, but all the rest.”

“You’re sure that you didn’t do anything?”

Harry’s anger flashed, “Yes, I’m sure. I was one year old. What could I have done?”

“It still doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it doesn’t. It never has made sense. It just keeps happening and I stay alive more by luck than anything. And he keeps coming and coming. It never ends.” Harry almost started crying again, but composed himself quickly.

“Did you parents do anything? Would your Dad have done something?” Dudley probed.

That last question made Harry stop and think. From what he knew about his Dad, he would be the type to have done something. Harry remembered something Sirius had said, ‘the risk would have been what had made it fun for James.’

Sirius. Harry heard his voice in his head and then felt the emptiness again. Sirius was gone. He would never be able to hear his voice again. Harry remembered where he was and quickly suppressed his grief.

“I don’t know, maybe, I don’t know very much about him.”

All of sudden, Ron cleared his throat announcing that he there. Neither Harry nor Dudley had noticed him come in. “Fred’s back,” Ron turned to Dudley and said, “your parents are both okay, both under guard. Fred couldn’t get anymore information then that.”

Dudley nodded to Ron to show he understood and then looked back at Harry, “Well, good night Harry.” Their only real conversation in fifteen years was over.

Harry nodded, “Good night, Dudley.”

Dudley left Harry’s room leaving Ron and Harry alone.

Harry looked at Ron and saw him looking concerned. “What is it Ron?” Harry asked closing his eyes again.

“I heard part of your conversation with your cousin,” Ron said carefully.

“Yeah, so?” Harry questioned.

“You know what contents of the prophesy. How do you know? You told us it was smashed.”

Harry couldn’t take it. It was one thing talking about the prophesy with Dudley, who didn’t understand anything about it. It was a whole another thing discussing it with Ron. He wanted to tell Ron, he wanted to tell Hermione, but not now, not like this.

After a significant silence, Harry finally spoke, “Dumbledore told me about it when you were all still in the hospital wing…” he dropped off trying to decide what to say. “I’ll tell you Ron, I will, but please, can I just get some sleep? I promise when things settle down, I’ll explain it all to you. It’s a long story, and I don’t want to go into tonight.”

Ron looked a bit hurt, but said, “Sure mate. You look pretty tired. Bill, Charlie and I are going to stay here with you tonight at the request of Dumbledore. Someone will be along later tonight to check on your injuries.”

“Wizard or Muggle?” Harry asked.

“Don’t know,” Ron admitted, “I figured Wizard, but I could be wrong. We decided to hole up here in your room, if you don’t mind. We can hide out in here and avoid any more rows with your aunt.”

“She’s not my aunt,” Harry mumbled. “But thanks for the thought.”

“Get some sleep, Harry. We’ll be around if you need anything.”

Harry was already mostly asleep, but he managed to mumble, “Thanks,” before falling into a deep blackness.