There’s snow everywhere as I stare out of my window. Outside everyone is making snowmen and having snowball fights. My heart feels like a snowball, a cold lump of ice.
Even at the age of 16 I crave the childhood I never had. My earliest memory is when I was three years old. I found a baby rabbit and played with it for an afternoon then that evening my father made me sit and watch him kill it. He wanted a strong son and even in those early years he punished me for crying.
By the age of 8 I could withstand the Cruciatus curse without flinching. Some achievement! Father said it was because I had become a man but the apathy in my soul had long since killed any feeling. I never had any friends I was too busy learning about the noble Dark Lord. My father taught me the importance of us pure bloods and how they were ruining the magical world with Mudblood Filth.
I took his word. He is my father and I've been conditioned to respect him. But not love. I have no means to love. Not even my mother. She was never cruel physically but she wanted little to do with me. All I’ am is the product of a pure blood marriage. I will never know love but marry to carry on my noble pure blood name. Even when I came to Hogwarts I had no peace. Raised mainly by house elves being among other children was a strange experience. I hoped to finally make friends but I have no true friends. Just people who feel I will up their status.
I'm not being big headed but the Slytherin girls look at me as some kind of prize. A good pure blood Family to marry into. I want to stand up to everyone. Show them I’m more than Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius and Narcissa. But no one sees me as anything else.
In the common room later I’m sat surrounded by all the other Slytherins Laughing and shouting. I never knew it was possible to be in a room full of people and still feel so alone. I go up to bed and no one even realises I have gone. I’m like a ghost, drifting around watching the living enjoy their fun while just existing, not living.
I know what I should do. Run away far from the madness that has become my life and start afresh. It tempts me but if my father found me he would kill me. See I am not as brave as Harry potter is. I crave power as it stops everyone seeing how weak and scared I truly am. That’s why I joined Umbridge’s squad. I felt like someone, someone worth being when I was in charge. Because anything I can do so I don’t become a nobody I will do.
In spite of my dislike for my father I do want to make him proud. Ive had it drilled into me not to bring shame upon my family since I was a baby. The one time I tried to disobey him he used the Imperius curse on me so I didn’t see the point in fighting it. There’s no point in fighting the inevitable.