Part Two:
Mary Sue
Mary Sue and her new friend Harry scrambled into a carriage which was unoccupied.
“You know I should’ve found Hermione and Ron before we got on but to be honest I think you’re a far better friend than they ever were,” said Harry, a small amount of drool rolling down his chin.
“You know if I wasn’t so disturbed that you seem to spend all your time staring at my nice girly bits I’d blush,” said Mary politely with a giggle. Harry began to go very red but he was saved from further embarrassment by the entrance of Ron and Hermione in all their Prefecty glory.
“Hello Harry,” said Hermione cheerfully.
“Hello sexy,” said Ron, with a look on his face that could possibly mean that he was trying to be charming but came across as the ultimate sleaze bag.
“RON!” blurted out Hermione, “That’s no way to talk to a lady.”
“Oh that’s alright, it’s unfair to expect a male to not follow their primitive male instincts,” replied Mary with a giggle.
“That’s right I’m just being a male, I can’t be held responsible for how I act,” blurted out Ron.
In a matter of minutes the four of them were chatting like life long buddies. Of course in a story written by a competent writer Hermione would be plotting Mary’s yucky demise for attempting to steal her two boys but alas that’s not the case. The four talked about Mary’s hair and her family history and her super trendy clothes.
“Did you know I was a Prefect?” asked Ron suddenly.
“Yeah you’ve told me three times already, plus you’re wearing your Prefect’s badge, plus you’re wearing a smug look which says “Take me to dinner I’m important”,” replied Mary.
“You caught on to that too I see,” said Ron with a chuckle.
The train continued along its merry way and it wasn’t long before the woman with the food cart came by.
“My shout, I’ve got plenty of galleons,” said Harry quickly darting to the door.
“Oh no Harry you don’t have to do that. My mother gave me several thousand galleons to spend over the next week or so. So it’s only fair that it’s my shout,” said Mary and she bought what was practically the entire cart. They pigged out on the sweets for a good thirty minutes before everyone except Mary were feeling thoroughly sick.
“So who’s the sexy new girl?” came a drawling voice located near the doorway.
“MALFOY! What are you doing here?” snapped back Harry angrily.
“Well typically every year I make a visit to you whilst you’re on the Hogwarts Express and say something thoroughly witty. Often I’ll make sure that you know that I know something that you don’t know because my Dad is important, alas he’s now a criminal and I’m out of the loop,” replied Malfoy vindictively.
“Shut up Malfoy,” shot back Ron angrily, “I have a lifelong dislike of you and to show it I’m going to cast an ill-prepared spell at you.” Ron performs a shoddy spell which hit’s the wall and bounces off.
“You suck Weasley and your family is poor … oh and you smell funny,” said Malfoy with a look which said “I’m a witty little bugger” which was a look he didn’t particularly deserve to have.
“I don’t like you although no doubt at some stage your witty comments and sexy body will cause us to get in a sticky situation,” said Mary suddenly.
“STUPEFY!”
Mary’s spell hit Malfoy and threw him through the wall opposite to them and he hit the train tracks below. As the train sped on to it’s eventual destination Malfoy could be seen shaking his fists.
“I’ll get you - you intriguing and sexy new girl if it’s the last thing I do!”
Cal Pue
Cal Pue got onto the train quickly and looked for a carriage to sit down in unfortunately he was having little luck. Every carriage seemed to have individuals in it who a) didn’t get how desirable and witty he was, or b) thought he smelt funny.
“Hey how you doing hunnybuns?” said Cal as he ventured into one cabin.
“Um … like hello, I’m a second year you dirty perv,” said one of the young “ very young “ ladies in the cabin and they chased him down the hallway hitting him with their broomsticks.
Cal carried on his search with little or no success, apparently the people of Hogwarts liked to be treated with a little respect and Cal didn’t seem capable of such feats. Finally he found his way into a carriage with the rather strange Luna Lovegood, who was sitting with Ginny Weasley.
“Er “ I’m a new student and well I was wondering whether I could crash here for the journey,” said Cal with a tentativeness which was definitely unusual to say the least. Ginny and Luna were two nice young girls and didn’t have the heart to tell Cal that they preferred it if he didn’t ‘crash’ with them, plus Ginny hadn’t had a boyfriend for at least three days so she was secretly hopeful.
“Well girls what are your names?” he asked them as he sat down with his legs spread somewhat too far for most people’s liking.
“I’m Ginny and this is my friend Luna, most people think that I’m a little quiet and she’s a little weird but in reality that’s wrong,” said Ginny in a friendly manner.
“Ok, well seeing as we’re friends now “” began Cal.
“Oh we’re not friends yet, we don’t even know each other very well,” said Luna wisely which is something that most fan fiction characters show little of. Typically the characters would be making out in a closet by now or Cal would’ve inspirationally saved the world (you’ll have to wait for the next update for that).
“Oh but we will be, I’m finding you girls hot so I’ll befriend you and try to seduce you at a later date,” replied Cal smugly. The two girls looked at him and shook their heads; they couldn’t believe he was hitting on them already.
“You know, we don’t even know what your name is yet,” said Ginny.
“My name is Cal, I’ve been home schooled for the greater part of my schooling,” replied Cal quickly.
“Your names Cal? Is that short for something?” asked Luna in an airy-fairy manner which was typical of the character.
“It’s short for Callam, the author named me after himself and made me the hero of the story, he has a large ego unfortunately,” said Cal.
Suddenly the train stopped and Cal could hear individuals coming on board.
“Duck under the chairs boys and girls, I’m going to save the day,” said Cal as he ran out of the door and tripped over his shoelaces.