Professor Dumbledore had not called for Sirius and James “in the morning” as he had promised them Friday evening in Hogsmeade, nor did they see him at meals. Professor McGonagall informed them that he had been called away by the Ministry on urgent business, and when James attempted to question her further, she said coldly, “That is the Headmaster’s business, Mr. Potter,” and refused to tell him anything else. Sirius in particular was bitterly disappointed at Dumbledore’s absence, as there were nearly two dozen questions he wished he had thought to ask Dumbledore when they had first met him in Hogsmeade, the first one being why had the Death Eaters attacked James in the first place?
There was one question he would not have thought to ask in Hogsmeade, and he was not even sure he would ask Dumbledore when the headmaster finally returned. That particular question regarded the two threats he had received from Bellatrix less than seventy-two hours apart. Sirius and Jocelyn had not told the others about their meeting with Narcissa. Sirius wasn’t even sure why, except that he really didn’t think he could bear to make James feel guiltier than he already did, or to see Lily’s horrified expression.
Jocelyn, meanwhile, seemed to be in a state of dull shock. She still went to classes and took notes, still got excellent marks on her homework, was still the best player on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but she laughed less now (and when she did, it usually seemed very forced), and the usual sparkle in her eyes had vanished. Sirius caught her anxiously scanning the mail owls every morning, as though she were expecting a letter containing very bad news and couldn’t decide whether or not she actually wanted it to come.
Only the excitement of the first Quidditch match of the season was finally able to take their minds off the Death Eaters. Gryffindor flattened Slytherin, 260 to 30, due mainly to the maneuver James had taught the Gryffindor Keeper, which kept the Slytherins from scoring.
“Best match we’ve played since I’ve been here,” declared James at breakfast the next morning, just as the mail began arriving. He, Sirius, Jocelyn, Lily, Remus, and Peter were eating breakfast together in the Great Hall, and discussing the Quidditch match. For once, Jocelyn wasn’t paying attention to the mail. “If we keep playing like that we’ve got the cup in the bag.”
“Can’t argue with that,” agreed Sirius, taking no notice of the brown owl that had fluttered down next to Jocelyn. “The whole team was brilliant! And Slytherin kept throwing the Quaffle the same way, even though that was clearly what the Keeper needed them to do in order to block it. Brilliant!” he declared again. He looked up to grin at Jocelyn, who was across from him, but she wasn’t paying attention. “What’s up with you, Joce’?” he asked her, noticing how pale she had become.
“This,” she said dully, waving a scrap of parchment at him.
He shrugged.
“What is it?”
“It’s a letter from my father,” she told him. “He writes” “ she swallowed, hard “ “he writes that my mother was attacked by Death Eaters last night.”
Sirius slowly lowered his fork. No, not Aunt Vega, no, it couldn’t be.
It’s not necessarily what you think, he told himself. She was just badly injured. She’ll be in St. Mungo’s for a few weeks, maybe a month. But she’s alive, she has to be alive!
Jocelyn wasn’t saying anything. She seemed numb, her expression was blank. Finally Sirius couldn’t stand it any longer.
“And?” he prompted, though he dreaded the answer.
“And that I should come home as soon as possible for the funeral,” she whispered, and burst into tears.
Sirius abruptly stood. So this was Bella’s revenge. She’d hit him where she’d known it would hurt most. She’d hurt Jocelyn.
“I’ll kill her,” he growled. “I’ll kill with my bare hands!”
“Sirius, no “” Jocelyn began, standing as well, wiping away her tears as she followed him out of the Great Hall.
“No? How can you say ‘no’? She murdered your mum!” Sirius shouted, his voice echoing off the stonewalls of the entrance hall. Inside the Great Hall everyone had become very quiet, staring at the door Sirius and Jocelyn had disappeared through, but Sirius didn’t care. He didn’t care if all of England knew what scum his cousin Bella was.
“We don’t know it was her “” Jocelyn tried again.
“Of course it was her!” said Sirius flatly. “She’s twisted, evil!”
“You-Know-Who’s evil “”
“Just say ‘Voldemort’!” Sirius bellowed as they burst out of the front doors and onto the lawn. Inside the Great Hall everyone flinched. Jocelyn did too, and it angered Sirius more. “Of course he’s evil, but she was the one who suggested it to him, and I’ll kill her for it!”
“Sirius, why would you think “?”
“Because James and I just sent some of her pals to Azkaban. So she decided to hit us where it hurt!”
“Sirius, think about what you’re saying,” said Jocelyn, adopting a reasoning tone of voice. “Bella’s only twenty-six, how could she possibly be high up enough to get You-Know “” she stopped at the look on Sirius’s face “ “all right, V-Voldemort to attack “”
“Bella always knew how to manipulate people, Jocelyn!” Sirius snapped. “You know that as well as I do! And, in case you don’t remember, in that letter she sent us after the attack she said ‘her master’ informed her! That’s Voldemort himself! She’s high up, Joce’!”
Jocelyn was silent.
“I know it was Bella, Jocelyn,” said Sirius firmly. “And I swear to Merlin, I’m going to kill her because of it!”
“And what if she kills you?” Jocelyn snapped suddenly.
Sirius stopped walking and stared at her.
“What?”
“What if you’re the one who ends up dead?” she questioned. “You’re all I have left, what am I supposed to do then?”
Sirius stood contemplating his cousin. Finally he said, “I can’t let your fear allow her to do this to anyone. It’s not right.”
He turned and started walking again, but she didn’t follow him.
“Sirius, I love you!” she shouted at him.
He stopped abruptly.
She what?
He and Jocelyn hadn’t talked about the words they’d exchanged that night in Hogsmeade. Sirius assumed it had simply come out of the trauma of the moment. But now…
He slowly turned back around.
It’s not what you think, he told himself. You’re like her brother, it doesn’t mean what you think.
“What did you say?” he whispered.
“I said I love you,” she repeated. “And, I’m sorry, but I won’t let you throw away your life on Bellatrix Lestrange!”
I was right, he thought sadly. That’s just the mother in her, it wasn’t what I thought.
“If someone doesn’t stop her she’ll come after your father,” he told her, “and then she’ll come after me, and then she’ll “”
“So is that any reason to go find her, Sirius, make it that much easier for her?”
“If she’s going to kill me I’d rather have it be on my terms!”
“You don’t have to be killed!”
“And, what? You want me to live the rest of my life in hiding, afraid of my filthy excuse for a cousin? No!” Sirius shouted.
“I want you to be alive, Sirius!” Jocelyn cried. “I don’t care what else happens as long as you’re alive!”
Sirius shook his head.
“I can’t run,” he said quietly. “Not even for you.”
“Then you do not love me,” she whispered.
Something inside Sirius snapped.
“Love?” he shouted. “You don’t know the meaning of love! I’d die for you, isn’t that love?”
“Love isn’t being stupid, Sirius,” Jocelyn whispered, and turned and strode back up the lawn, into the castle, before Sirius could even think of a reply.
A/N: Review! {And in case you’re wondering, yes, it actually was what Sirius originally thought}