Lily and James had patrol duty that evening, as they did every evening. Things had gotten better between them since the day Sirius and James had been attacked in Hogsmeade. They didn’t fight as often as they once had, but instead chatted amicably about anything and everything. At first it had been about classes: which were boring, which were interesting, who were the best teachers, which classes they might actually use in life, etc. Of course, this subject got old after a couple of days (there was only so much you could say about History of Magic and how boring Professor Binns was, after all), so they moved on to talking about the people at Hogwarts: who was the smartest, whether Kimberly Rae really deserved to be the Hufflepuff prefect or did James think that position should have gone to Kelsey Andrews, were all the Slytherins really evil, were the Ravenclaws really the smartest, and didn’t Lily agree that the Hufflepuffs had more redeeming qualities than the Slytherins. While these subjects could never really be exhausted, they got boring after about a week, and it was then that the conversations became more personal.
It started just like most nights. The subject eventually turned to the Slytherins, and whether or not they might have redeeming qualities. Lily insisted they did, while James was convinced they didn’t.
“None of the Slytherins I’ve ever known have had any redeeming qualities,” he insisted as they headed up the Charms corridor.
“That’s because you’re too busy cursing them to get to know them well enough to find out,” Lily retorted.
“Well I don’t see you inviting any of them over for tea,” James rejoined, stung. “Besides, the only reason I attack them is because they attack me first!”
“Really?” Lily challenged, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Really?”
“Well, besides Snape, of course,” James admitted impatiently, reddening. “But that’s entirely different!”
“What Slytherins, besides Snape, have ever attacked you?” Lily demanded.
“Hm, let’s think,” said James sarcastically, counting off on his fingers, “Avery, Rosier, Narcissa Black, Regulus Black…” he paused, looking at her. “Shall I go on?”
Lily didn’t answer. She was frowning at him.
“The Blacks attack you?” she questioned, sounding surprised.
“Yeah,” James shrugged. “Of course.”
“But “” Lily was frowning, evidently trying to make sense of what she was being told. “But you’re Sirius’s best mate.”
“Yeah,” agreed James, looking at her as though she was mad. “That’s why.”
“But he’s their cousin!” said Lily, sounding shocked.
James sighed. He knew all about the conversation Lily and Sirius had had in Hogsmeade that day, and he consequently couldn’t understand why she didn’t understand about Bella, Narcissa, and Regulus. Hadn’t she listened to anything Sirius had told her? Didn’t she understand about Bella after the letter she’d written Sirius?
“Sirius is a blood-traitor,” he explained. “Just like I am. And my family. That’s why we’re not very popular with the Slytherin set.”
“Yes, but he’s still their family!” Lily pointed out.
“Which makes it all the worse, doesn’t it? I mean, someone you don’t know is one thing “ it’s maddening “ but when it’s your family it’s, well, personal. It’s unforgivable.”
Lily nodded slowly at the floor.
“I guess it’s kind of like my sister and the whole ‘I’m a witch’ thing,” she said with a wry smile. “It’s like it’d be one thing if I was some other girl from across the street “ you know, if I was that girl I’d be weird. But since I’m her sister I’m now a total freak.” She looked up at him, and their eyes locked. “‘Freak’ is the only thing I’ve heard since I got my letter,” she told him quietly.
He smiled down at her, but he looked very serious.
“I don’t think you’re a freak, Lily Evans,” he told her honestly, and for once he didn’t sound like arrogant James Potter, but instead like the wonderful, kindhearted guy Jocelyn had always said he was.
It had been a small moment, but it had mattered. From that time forward, they felt safe around each other. They talked about their respective childhoods. Lily told James all about her sister Petunia’s boyfriend, Vernon “ “Looks like a pig with a mustache, if you ask me!” “ and had him rolling in the corridors with laughter when she mimicked him eating breakfast. James told Lily stories about pranks the Marauders had played, and holidays with Sirius, and instead of being disapproving, Lily would actually laugh.
Tonight, however, James was silent as they went up and down the corridors together.
“Hey,” said Lily quietly as they climbed the stairs the third floor. “You okay?”
James shook his head.
“I just can’t believe she’s gone,” he said dully.
“Jocelyn’s mum?” Lily questioned unnecessarily.
James nodded.
“You knew her?” she asked.
“I used to visit her on holidays sometimes,” James explained. “Really nice woman. Good cook too.” He laughed without humor. “Really decent people, the Alphard Blacks. You ever meet them?”
“Only at the train station sometimes,” Lily shrugged. “She was nice, though. Jocelyn’s mum, I mean.”
For a while they were silent again. Then James spoke.
“You know, Vega “ Jocelyn’s mum “ was an Auror. Really great witch. Jocelyn received more information about the attack this afternoon, did you hear?”
Lily shook her head.
“She took out three of Voldemort’s best before they managed to kill her,” James told her. “Yeah, she was a great witch.”
Silence, except for their steady footfalls echoing along the stone passageway.
“You know, I think what’s making me so upset isn’t really that I was very close to Vega,” James said abruptly. “I think it’s the fact that even with all her magical talent and Auror training they still managed to kill her. You know my” “ his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat “ “my parents are old. Really good at magic, but old. But somehow I always used to think that if they got attacked, they “ they could fight them off, that they could survive. But now” “ he swallowed, hard “ “now I’m not so sure. I mean, if they could get Vega…. You don’t understand, you never really met her, but she was good, Lils! One of the best witches in the Auror office. And my parents are good, but nothing like Vega, and if they could kill her….” There was a pause while he tried to surreptitiously wipe the tears from his eyes. “It’s just hard,” he said finally, looking up at her, “when I think that I could get a letter tomorrow telling me I’ll never see them again.”
Lily nodded slowly.
“When I was a kid my cousin Jessica was one of my really good mates,” she said quietly. “We didn’t see each other often, but we used to write each other every week. The summer we were eight she came to visit me, and we had a glorious week together. I went with my parents to drop her off at the train station, and waved her train off, with her promises to visit the next summer ringing in my ears.” Lily gave a sad smile, and her voice suddenly became much harder. “Her parents called us that night. The train had derailed; everyone in Jessica’s carriage was dead.
“I didn’t want to believe it. For a year afterward I would rush to the mail slot every time something was pushed through it, looking for a letter that would never come.” She gave a hollow laugh. “My head knew she was dead, but my heart wouldn’t accept it. It wasn’t until she didn’t come the next summer that I finally understood that she would never write to me again.”
“And “ and how did you deal with that?” James asked jerkily.
Lily looked up at him.
“I believed,” she said quietly, “that there was a reason for it, even if I couldn’t see it. That’s the only way to cope with that sort of thing, you know. And I appreciated life more. I owed Jessica that.”
There was silence for a moment.
“Vega did a very noble thing, James,” said Lily softly. “She died fighting for what she believed in. I’m sure your parents would do the same. I know I would.”
James looked up from the floor, and their eyes locked.
“So would I,” he said quietly and, without realizing it, started to cry.
A/N: Okay, so it’s not exactly romantic, but it’s a start…. Review!