“I didn’t want to believe it,” she whispered.
Sirius fought to keep his jaw from dropping.
“You knew? How?”
“Oh Sirius, how could I not?” she said impatiently. “I knew from the moment I stepped off the bus he wouldn’t be around much longer. Just look at him! It’s the shock that’s killing him, poor man.”
Yes, Sirius had known from the moment he’d stepped off the bus as well, but hearing these words come from Jocelyn’s mouth made it seem a thousand times more horrible… and more inevitable. Sirius hadn’t wanted to believe it either. Jocelyn looked as though she were trying very hard not to cry. Sirius didn’t know what else to say.
“I’m “ I’m so sorry,” he said finally.
She nodded numbly.
“I’ll just “ er “ leave you alone, then,” he said awkwardly after another moment. “If that’s all right,” he added quickly.
She nodded without looking at him.
Sirius went in search of the others, leaving Jocelyn alone with her terrible thoughts, and the next morning they all returned to Hogwarts.
Life at Hogwarts had returned to normal, but it was a lot less fun for Jocelyn, Lily, and the Marauders. Lily and James had begun splitting up when they went patrolling, allegedly because they got it done sooner, but actually because things had become very awkward between them.
The full moon was fast approaching, but Sirius found he wasn’t even looking forward to it. What use was it to anyone if they could run around Hogsmeade without getting caught? How was that going to stop Voldemort? Unless he happened to be wandering around the village and they could get Remus to attack him, Sirius thought, grinning at the idea even though he knew it could never happen.
Jocelyn wasn’t speaking to any of them, and this began to annoy Sirius. But then, everything was beginning to annoy him. Even James.
“Would you put that thing away?” he snapped at James one evening, as they lounged in front of the fire. James had stolen a Snitch and kept releasing it and then catching it a moment later. Sirius snatched the Snitch out of the air half a second faster than James.
“Not bad, Padfoot,” James grinned. “Ever consider trying for Seeker?”
“No,” answered Sirius coldly, as though he didn’t think this was the time to compliment people on their Quidditch skills. He put the Snitch in his pocket, ending the discussion.
“I’m bored,” James declared about a minute later.
“That’s unfortunate,” said Sirius, without bothering to look at him.
“Want to play Exploding Snap?”
“No.”
“Gobstones?”
“No.”
“Chess?”
“For Merlin’s sake, James!” Sirius exploded. “Just because you’re bored doesn’t mean we all are!”
James gave him a hard look.
“What’s up with you?” he demanded.
“Nothing,” said Sirius guiltily, suddenly remembering their last fight. “I’m “ er “ hungry. Want to run to the kitchens?”
“Who’s going to the kitchens?” said a voice behind him. He turned and saw Jocelyn. For a moment Sirius was so stunned to see her somewhere other than class (the only thing she ever left her dormitory for now) that he simply stared at her, open-mouthed. Then he came to himself.
“Joce’!” he said, springing to his feet. “Er “ how are “ I mean, what’re you “ I mean, er, want to come with us?”
Jocelyn gave a half smile, which was definitely progress.
“I’d love to,” she told him.
Five minutes later Sirius, James, and Jocelyn were heading down to the kitchens together. They were barely halfway there, however, when they came across one of the last people any of them wanted to see: Narcissa.
“Ah, Adhara,” she said pleasantly. “How are you? So sorry I missed the funeral, I heard it was lovely.” She had put on a very affected sorrowful face, but her mouth twitched as though she found the whole thing amusing.
“You!” Sirius snarled, lunging at her, but both James and Jocelyn grabbed his robes, holding him back.
“Sirius, no!” Jocelyn whispered. James, however, stepped in front of Sirius and addressed Narcissa.
“Why don’t you just clear off?” he said quietly, but his voice carried a definite threat in it, and his eyes had become very hard.
“Or what?” Narcissa challenged. “You’ll take points off Slytherin? Put me in detention?”
“I can do a lot worse to you than put you in detention, as you bloody well know,” said James in the same quiet, deadly tone. “Now clear off.”
“But I don’t really feel like leaving,” Narcissa answered, raising her eyebrows defiantly.
“Clear off, Black!” James repeated in a low growl.
“Temper, temper,” said Narcissa coolly. “I only wanted to console my poor, orphaned cous “” she broke off abruptly. James had drawn his wand from his sleeve and was pointing it at her.
“James!” Jocelyn hissed warningly, but James ignored her.
“Clear off, Black, or I will make you!” he snarled at Narcissa.
Jocelyn looked uncertainly between James and Sirius, as though trying to decide which one she ought to try to restrain. Narcissa’s eyes had gone very wide. For a moment she and James glared at each other. Then, without a word, she turned and walked away.
“You shouldn’t have let her go!” Sirius snarled, once she was out of sight and it was safe to release him. “You should have cursed her into the next dimension!”
“I fight against the Dark Side. I don’t use its tactics,” James replied coolly. “She wasn’t actually threatening us, after all.”
Sirius stared at him in disbelief.
“You’ve never given a damn before!”
“If I attacked her without reason I wouldn’t be any better than she is, would I?” James asked quietly.
Comprehension dawned across Sirius’s face.
“This is because of Lily, isn’t it?” he said accusingly.
“Sirius,” said James warningly, but Sirius didn’t seem to hear him.
“It’s about her, of course it is, she’s turned you into a self-righteous prat,” he muttered to himself. “All those patrol duties you used to do together, she used them to poison you “”
“Sirius!” James snarled. Sirius stopped muttering and looked up at him. “I thought you and Lily were friends,” said James quietly.
“Of course we are,” said Sirius impatiently. “But when it comes to the Slytherins she doesn’t know what she’s talking about!”
“Narcissa wasn’t threatening us,” James repeated firmly.
“Wait around for her to threaten you, and you’ll wind up like Vega,” Sirius snarled. “And do you think I give a damn if she was “”
“Of course not,” said James soothingly. “But that doesn’t mean you’re right.”
Sirius was about to tell James exactly what he thought about being right, when Remus came up to them.
“I thought I’d find you going this way,” he said, smiling around at them. “What’s up?” he questioned, when he saw their faces.
“Little family reunion,” growled Sirius, looking positively murderous.
“Narcissa,” James mouthed, and Remus nodded in understanding.
It was only then that any of them noticed Jocelyn. She was standing completely still, her face ghost-white and expressionless, her eyes blank and staring.
“Er “ Jocelyn?” said James uncertainly.
Slowly, almost eerily, she turned her head toward him.
“I shouldn’t have left the common room,” she said dully.
The three boys looked at each other, frowning.
“Er “ sorry?” said Remus.
“I shouldn’t have left the common room,” Jocelyn repeated, her voice void of all emotion. “Sirius is right. If I wait for them to threaten me, I’ll end up dead.”
Remus turned to Sirius, his face incredulous.
“You told her if the Slytherins threatened her she’d end up dead?” he said disbelievingly. “Good job, Padfoot, really brilliant!”
But Sirius wasn’t listening. He was staring at Jocelyn, his expression unreadable.
“Remus,” he said firmly, never taking his eyes off Jocelyn, “take Jocelyn back to Gryffindor Tower.”
Remus frowned at him.
“But “”
“Do it, Remus!” Sirius snarled, rounding on him.
Remus knew better than to argue. Holding up one hand in surrender, he took Jocelyn’s arm and led her away.
“You,” said Sirius, rounding on James now, “come with me.”
He turned and began walking swiftly up the brightly lit corridor.
“Where are you going?” James questioned, running to keep up, as Sirius climbed a staircase three stairs at a time.
“Where I should have gone long ago,” Sirius answered, turning up a final corridor and stopping in front of a very ugly stone gargoyle. “Dumbledore.”
A/N: Wow, I hate being away from Will (that’s the name of my comp, btw) for so long! I feel like I’ve missed a lot! Anyway, thank you all for reviewing, it was wonderful to come home and read all your wonderful comments! The FAQ of the last chapter was “When are James and Lily going to get together?” Okay, I promise, promise, promise it will happen within the next five chapters! Anyway, great to be home, I missed you all! *hugs all of you* ~ Trinsy