“I just think you could make an effort to at least look halfway decent,” commented Jocelyn in an offhanded tone. She was lying spread-eagled on her bed, studying the top of her four-poster instead of looking at Lily.
“James Potter would think I looked beautiful if I came to patrol duty in Severus Snape’s pants,” said Lily distractedly as she tried to repair her broken shoelace.
“That is probably the truest thing you’ve ever said,” Jocelyn agreed. She rolled on her side and noticed what Lily was doing. “Reparo,” she muttered, pointing her wand at Lily’s foot, and the shoelace became whole again.
“Why didn’t I think of that?” wondered Lily crossly, hurriedly tying it.
“Love does strange things to a person,” Jocelyn observed.
Lily glared at her as she yanked open the door.
“I do not fancy James Potter, Jocelyn,” she reminded her friend.
“Suit yourself,” Jocelyn shrugged, grinning.
“Thanks,” said Lily sarcastically. “See you later then.”
“Remember Lils,” Jocelyn called just before the door shut, and Lily paused. “The first stage is denial.”
The door slammed shut.
“Padfoot!” James shouted angrily.
“Prongs!” Sirius jovially responded.
James gave a frustrated growl. He yanked on his shoelace and it broke off in his hand. He swore, loudly.
“Language, Potter,” said Sirius in mock solemnity. He was lying spread-eagled on his bed, staring at the ceiling. “What would your mother say?”
“She’d tell you to “” James began angrily, but he was cut off as Peter came bursting into the room.
“You’re late!” he snapped at James. “She’s waiting for you, and she’s really angry! You were supposed to have left five minutes ago!”
“I know that!” growled James, who was vainly trying to repair his broken shoelace. “Half a moment, all right?”
Sirius rolled over and noticed what James was doing.
“Reparo,” he muttered, fixing the shoelace with a wave of his wand.
“Why didn’t I think of that?” snapped James, instead of saying thank you.
“Because you’re a thick-headed git,” answered Sirius honestly.
James started angrily toward him.
“You really should be going, Prongs,” Remus reminded him, looking up from his Transfiguration book.
“Right,” said James sullenly, glaring at Sirius. “See you all later, then.”
“He’s disgustingly smitten, isn’t he?” Sirius commented after the door had shut behind James.
Remus and Peter both stared at him.
“If you’ve just figure that out,” Remus told him, “you don’t deserve to be a Marauder.”
“Er “ so, where do we go?” asked James awkwardly, as soon as he and Lily had climbed out of the portrait hole.
Lily raised her eyebrows at him.
“You’ve never done this before, have you?” she questioned.
“No, I haven’t,” said James tightly, resenting her patronizing tone. “Generally those of us without Prefect’s badges don’t go patrolling.”
Lily rolled her eyes.
“How you ever got to be Head Boy is beyond my comprehension,” she muttered, shaking her head in disbelief.
James felt anger rise within him.
“How I ever got stuck with you as a patrolling partner is beyond mine!” he snapped. “All I said was ‘Where do we go’ and you laid into me! Can’t you just answer a simple question without cutting me down?”
Lily looked astonished.
“I didn’t lay into you!” she said, sounding surprised. “I just answered a question with a question.”
James felt his anger subside a bit.
“Oh, well “” he began embarrassedly, when Lily added in a self-righteous voice, “I didn’t know that was some sort of crime!”
“It’s not, of course,” said James, frustrated. “That wasn’t the point “!”
“And what was the point, James Potter?” she questioned angrily. “That you’re being a git?”
“No!” snarled James. “It was that you’re being an insufferable prat!”
Lily raised herself up to her full height “ which wasn’t really all that tall.
“Don’t talk like that to me, James Potter!” she snapped angrily.
“I’ll talk whatever way I like!” James informed her. “And if you think I’m too big an idiot to learn patrol duty, you can do it by yourself! Billywig!”
The portrait of the Fat Lady swung open, and he climbed back into the common room without another glance at Lily Evans' furious face.
“Scenario #1:” read Jocelyn to the two boys before her, Sirius and Remus. “Lily offered to give James the night off because he hasn’t finished his homework. Probability scale, 1 to 10, with 10 being the most probable, this scenario rates “”
“Negative one-hundred billion,” Sirius interrupted flatly, and Remus nodded in dejected agreement. The three were gathered around the fire in the common room, trying to figure out exactly why James had come back from patrol duty roughly ninety seconds after he had left. Sirius and Remus couldn’t get him to say, and Peter was too busy struggling through his Muggles Studies homework to care.
“All right, that’s a 1, then,” sighed Jocelyn defeatedly, marking it down on her parchment. “Scenario #2: Lily said something crushing and James got angry and came back. Probability scale…?” She looked questioningly at the boys, who shrugged.
“7?” Remus offered finally.
“9,” Jocelyn corrected dejectedly, marking it down. “All right, Scenario #3: James said something stupid, which caused Lily to get angry and send him back inside. Probabil “”
“9.99999,” said Sirius and Remus together.
“Fair enough,” Jocelyn agreed, making the appropriate notation. “Finally, Scenario #4: Lily made a patronizing comment, James took offense and said something stupid, they both got angry and James came storming back. P“”
“Ten!” the boys said together at once, and Jocelyn nodded in agreement.
“So now what?” she asked them, staring hopelessly down at Scenario #4, which she had circled.
“Now we work on a plan,” said Sirius obviously.
“Easier said then done, Padfoot,” sighed Remus, and Jocelyn nodded in agreement.
“Whatever happens, it’ll be easy for you two,” she explained, gesturing at them. “James doesn’t need to be convinced he loves Lily, he already knows.”
“As he daily reminds us,” muttered Sirius.
“But my job is Lily, and Lily is going to be difficult to convince,” Jocelyn finished, sighing.
“Maybe we could try to convince James to like someone else,” Sirius suggested hopefully.
Remus shook his head.
“That plan’s been failing for six years,” he reminded Sirius.
Sirius was crushed, but not for long.
“Yes, but so has the plan to convince Lily,” he pointed out, trying to remain optimistic.
“No, it hasn’t,” said Remus.
“Because the only person who’s tried to convince Lily she loves James, is James,” Jocelyn explained.
“And he’s been a right failure at it,” finished Remus.
“But none of us has tried it yet,” observed Jocelyn. “So we don’t know if we’ll be better or not.”
“Okay,” said Sirius. “Let’s say we’re better at it, right? And let’s say they get together.”
“Okay,” said Jocelyn, completely lost.
“Well then what?” Sirius asked her.
Jocelyn stared at him, comprehension dawning on her face.
“Sirius,” she said slowly, frowning at him.
“What?” he asked innocently.
“You don’t want Lily and James together, do you?” she said accusingly.
“Well…” he said awkwardly.
“Sirius,” she said warningly, eyebrows raised.
“Well, no!” he admitted. “Think about it! Padfoot and Prongs will have to make way for Lily and James! No more pranks! No more raiding the kitchens! No more sneaking to Hogsmeade! It’ll be the end of an era! And they’ll be… snogging all over the place! It’ll be weird!”
Jocelyn smiled at him sympathetically.
“No one said this was going to be easy, mate,” Remus reminded him. “And who knows, maybe you’ll find a girl.”
Jocelyn rolled her eyes.
“Maybe things won’t change that much,” she suggested. “I’m risking my best friend as well, you know.”
“Yes, but it’s not the same thing,” Sirius sighed. “We’ve always been the Marauders! We don’t have time for girls! We’re busy playing pranks! And that’ll all be over!”
Jocelyn patted his hand.
“You can’t spend the rest of your life playing pranks, Sirius,” she told him with a small smile.
“I know,” Sirius muttered.
“And James can’t spend the rest of his life alone,” she added.
Sirius gave a final, defeated sigh, and looked up at her.
“When do we start?” he questioned.
A/N: Review!