Chapter 19: Accentuate the Positive
No dreams came to either Snape or Clancy that night.
Snape had too much weighing on his mind to fall asleep. Through trickery and deceit, he had discovered that his Aunt Hilly had never really forgotten him, and that now, as incredible as it seemed, Clancy was very much in love with him! He did not even have the decency to feel guilty; he was much too pleased with himself.
As Snape lay in bed, he began worrying about how much Clancy would remember of their conversation while she was under the influence of the Veritaserum. He wanted her to retain some memory of the information she had revealed, but nothing of what had prompted her candor. That would make things much easier for him; he would not have to pretend that he did not know about Aunt Hilly.
But, Snape did not want her to remember too much. If Clancy wished him to court her, then so be it: he would do so. Not having the foggiest notion of what it would take to woo her, Snape preferred that she forget what she had told him. That way, he could bide his time and wait for inspiration to strike. When, at last he had figured out a plan, she would be all the more receptive, assuming everything had been his own idea. At most, Snape decided, he would admit to snooping through her purse, but nothing more.
Clancy awoke the next morning feeling rested. Comfortable in her cozy bed, she was reluctant to rise, until her eyes spotted her purse on the table near the fire. Her thoughts drifted back to last night. She remembered Remus visiting, then Severus entering with a tea tray. Severus had returned her purse, poured some tea, but then what? They had sat by the fire talking. Had she mentioned Ping-Pong? Had they discussed Aunt Hilly? Wondering why her sharp memory had suddenly failed her, Clancy realized she did not even remember Severus leaving. The next time she saw him alone, she would make a point of asking him exactly what had happened last night.
As Clancy entered the Great Hall for breakfast, Lupin waved to her and she joined him. From the opposite end of the High Table, Snape watched with contempt as the Dark Arts professor stood to hold Clancy's chair out for her.
When the morning owl post arrived, an unfortunate Ravenclaw received a Howler from her father. As the letter screamed its strident message throughout the room, Clancy recalled her dream from the night before last. She stole a glance at Snape, and was unnerved to find him staring at her. He smiled crookedly. Clancy returned his smile uncertainly.
Snape paid a visit to Clancy that afternoon in the choir room. "Hello," he called from the doorway.
Seated at her desk, Clancy looked up in surprise. "Hello!" she returned.
He crossed the room, and swept around to the side of her desk, looming over her.
"Did you wish to speak with me?" Clancy asked.
"I was wondering if you rested well last night?" Snape inquired, still wearing that odd smile.
"Quite well, thank you. Why do you ask?"
"You seemed rather fatigued when I left."
"Did I? That reminds me, what were we discussing? I only seem able to remember fragments of our conversation."
"What, precisely, do you remember?"
Clancy regarded Snape quizzically. "Were we discussing my aunt?"
"Yes," Snape confirmed. "We were discussing...our aunt."
"Severus! You know?"
"You told me about Aunt Hilly and showed me the pictures in your purse," he lied smoothly.
"And, you're handling this well?"
"You seem surprised."
"I am! I thought that the revelation might shock you, and that you might be angry with me."
"Not at all. I was delighted that you finally decided to confide in me."
"It's a relief to have all of this out in the open, at last. I'm just trying to recall what it was that led up to me telling you."
"You were overjoyed to have your purse again, I suppose. The photographs of Aunt Hilly were inside, and you were eager to share them with me."
Clancy wasn't convinced. "Severus, did I mention something about wanting to play Ping-Pong?"
Snape coughed nervously. "Yes, I believe you did. What else do you remember?"
"Nothing. Is there something else I should remember?"
"No, I don't believe so. You seemed a trifle drowsy after drinking your tea, so I suggested you retire for the evening, and I let myself out."
Clancy pulled her chair away from her desk. As she did so, the end of Snape's cloak became pinned under her chair leg. Still seated, she looked up at him. "I'd like you to have the picture of you and Aunt Hilly."
Snape felt a slight pang of remorse. "Clancy, I don't know what to say, I - "
"Come up to my room after dinner, if you're free. There are more pictures in my bureau drawer of Aunt Hilly and the rest of my family. You can see those, too, if you'd like."
"Very well," he agreed. "Shall I meet you at the foot of the stairs?"
Clancy smiled. "Just like old times."
"If you can tear yourself away from Lupin, that is."
"Now, Severus, we're being civil to each other for a change; please don't spoil it. And," Clancy continued, "I'm so glad there are no longer any secrets between us. I want you to feel that you can trust me as much as I've always trusted you." She gazed at him adoringly.
"I do trust you, Clancy. I'll never have any doubts about you ever again," Snape promised. "It doesn't even bother me anymore that you're a Muggle or an American."
"Really?" she teased. "Well, it's so kind of you to overlook my shortcomings."
"Inasmuch as you seem to be able to overlook most of mine, then the least I can do is to return the favor. Perhaps this turn of events has been for the best if it brings us to a higher level of mutual understanding."
"I'm elated that you feel that way, Severus, because trust is everything between two people. Once it's broken, all is lost. Don't you agree?"
"Yes, Clancy. Trust is everything," Snape admitted, looking down to avoid her eyes.
She reached out and squeezed his hand. "I'm an excellent judge of character, you know. I've always felt in my heart that underneath your gruff, brooding exterior you were hiding a pure and noble soul. You like to act powerful and intimidating, but you're not fooling me. I can't even imagine you hurting a fly! Besides, fate has a way of tripping up cheats and liars. They always get caught, sooner or later."
Snape cleared his throat. "Well, until tonight, then. I must return to the dungeons."
Turning to leave, he took one long stride and choked himself against the collar of his cloak as its hem held fast, caught beneath Clancy's chair. The pressure against his throat knocked him off balance, and he toppled backward, banging his head on the sharp corner of the desk. The impact upset an open ink bottle. As Snape slumped to the floor, the bottle rolled off the edge, covering his hair and clothes with ink.
"Severus! Are you hurt?" Clancy asked, rushing to kneel beside him.
Snape sat up slowly, feeling dazed. He regarded Clancy as she watched a bead of ink travel down the bridge of his nose. "I'm not entirely certain what just happened," he groaned. Attempting to wipe the drip from his nose, he managed to smear the ink further across his face.
"Don't worry, Severus," Clancy assured him. "Everything will be all right. I always knew that you'd fall for me, eventually!"
By the end of the week, the news had spread throughout the school that Snape had been Neville Longbottom's boggart.
Longbottom, terrified of the Potions master, had envisioned Snape as his worst fear during Professor Lupin's boggart lesson. As Lupin instructed the timid young wizard on the proper application of the Riddikulus spell, the shape shifter emerged from the staff room cupboard. At Lupin's suggestion, the boggart's power was weakened by Neville imagining Snape dressed in Gran Longbottom's clothes.
The students found this highly amusing; Clancy did not. She understood Snape well enough to know how deeply mortified he must have been to hear this tale. It was one thing for her to make fun of him. She felt she was well within her rights for having to put up with his petty behavior, but it angered her to see others laughing at Snape's expense.
The day after the incident, Clancy confronted Lupin in the staff room. "Hello, Remus," she said coldly.
"Clancy?" Lupin began tentatively. "Are you upset with me? Suppose you tell me what it is you think I've done?"
"It's the whole boggart business. My Mooncalves and Hinkypunks were so preoccupied with laughing and gossiping about Severus dressed in women's clothing that I couldn't teach them anything today."
"I thought that might be what was disturbing you. Let me explain: Everyone has a worst fear. Snape happens to be Neville Longbottom's. I merely provided the boy with a recommendation for how to weaken the boggart's power. It wasn't meant as a personal affront to Severus."
"I realize that, Remus," Clancy admitted, seating herself at a table. "I'm not really blaming you. I know Severus is quite unpopular with his students. Sometimes, I just feel sorry for him."
Lupin brought a tea tray over from the sideboard and joined her. "Would you mind if I asked you a rather personal question?"
"I suppose not. Fire away."
"How long have you been in love with Severus?"
Clancy blushed, and covered her face with her hands for a moment. Looking again at Lupin, she asked, "Is it that obvious? What gave me away?"
"It might be the fact that you find a way to work his name into every conversation, or perhaps it's the expression of forced indifference you assume whenever he enters the room. I've also noticed that Severus spends most of his time at the High Table glowering at the two of us."
"I may as well admit it. I've been suffering from this strange affliction for some time. He's given me nothing but grief for a year. I can never quite make up my mind whether I want to kiss him or kick him."
"Something tells me you're leaning toward the former."
"I'm afraid you're right. Severus is an acquired taste, but I seem to have acquired it. You don't suppose he's aware of my feelings, do you?"
"Severus?" Lupin remarked doubtfully. "He's much too absorbed with his work. He's never struck me as the sort that would be too perceptive when it came to affairs of the heart. No, Clancy, short of him plying you with Veritaserum, I believe your secret is safe."
"Veritaserum? What's that?"
"It's a Truth Potion. A few drops placed into a cup of tea or any beverage would cause even the strongest willed person to reveal his deepest secrets."
"Oh? Would the victim remember afterward that he'd done so?"
"It would depend on the individual. Most would recall only bits and pieces, at best."
"How interesting." Clancy pondered the possibility, but decided to put it out of her mind - for the time being. "Now, can we please change the subject? I've embarrassed myself enough for one day."
Lupin poured Clancy a cup of tea. "As you wish," he said. "What's your favorite film?"
"Remus! Don't tell me that you're actually familiar with movies! I couldn't possibly choose a favorite. I like everything!"
"I find many Muggle films appealing," Lupin confessed. "I've been attending them for years. They've always helped to lift my spirits."
"Tell me your favorites, then."
"That's difficult. I enjoy revivals the most, I suppose, particularly the older American comedies: Capra, Sturgess, Wilder. I'm quite certain that I've seen every film Billy Wilder has ever made."
"I'm impressed! You really do know your films." Clancy took a sip of tea. "Ouch! This tea is too hot."
"Sorry. Allow me." Lupin transfigured a bowl of ice cubes. "I don't care to have my mouth scorched, either." Clancy placed two ice cubes into her cup, and Lupin placed one into his own. "But then again," he observed, casting a sly glance toward the boggart cupboard, "some like it hot!"
In spite of her affection for Snape, Clancy giggled and spilled her tea. "Remus, you are wicked."
"Forgive me," Lupin apologized, through his own laughter, "I really couldn't resist."
As their chuckling subsided, Clancy began rubbing the back of her neck. "Oh, no," she moaned.
"Aren't you feeling well?" Lupin asked.
"I believe I'm getting one of my PMS headaches. They come upon me about the same time each month. Sometimes they become so intense, I can barely function."
"I can sympathize certainly, but being a man, I can't honestly say that I understand what it is you're going through."
"It's dreadful, Remus. First, my head begins throbbing with pain, and then my eyes start to burn. My personality changes; I just want to tear into people. There are times when the discomfort becomes so unbearable that I completely lose control and behave like a howling lunatic. Even worse, I'm constantly craving chocolate."
"On second thought," Lupin disclosed with a rueful smile, "perhaps I do understand, after all." Suddenly turning serious, he said, "There's something you should know about me. I've been meaning to discuss this with you all week. None of the students knows of this, but the rest of the staff does, and I feel you should, too."
Clancy had never seen Lupin in such a somber mood. She studied him for a moment, noting the weariness in his eyes. Even when he joked with her, his eyes betrayed some hidden sadness. She wondered why such a young man would have premature flecks of gray in his hair, or look so sickly and malnourished. Her instinct told her that what he was about to reveal would not be pleasant.
"What is it?" she asked hesitantly.
"You might find this unbelievable, but you've been among us long enough to know that certain...conditions exists here that are unknown to the Muggle world."
"Yes, go on," Clancy urged, growing more apprehensive.
Lupin stared down into his teacup, then looked up to meet her questioning gaze. "I suffer from the Lycanthrope Curse. In other words, I'm a werewolf, although I don't much care for the term." He drew in his breath, awaiting her response.
Clancy had very little reaction; she only smiled. "Oh, that's very good, Remus! Your deadpan delivery had me going for a moment. Now, I'll tell one."
"This isn't a joke, Clancy."
"Come on, Remus! You're just paying me back for pulling your leg about the Pet Rock! That's all this is about, right?" Lupin wasn't smiling. "Remus, please tell me you're joking!"
"I was bitten when I was a small boy," Lupin explained solemnly. "There is no cure. But now, thanks to Severus, there's a Wolfsbane Potion that I drink the week preceding a full moon. I still transform, but I retain my human mind so I won't harm anyone. Are you comprehending any of this, Clancy?"
She nodded sadly. "So, that's what Severus was trying to tell me the night of the start-of-term banquet. He warned me to stay away from you, but he was in such a foul temper, he couldn't quite make his point. You say he's been helping you?"
"Grudgingly perhaps, but I'm very grateful to him all the same. The man's a genius in his field, one of only a handful of wizards that can brew Wolfsbane Potion properly. Severus can be quite decent when the chips are down."
Clancy fell silent for a long while, trying to analyze her feelings. She concluded, at last, that she was more intrigued by the fact that Snape had actually done someone a good turn than she was by Lupin's alarming confession. She had always believed that Snape was a fine person, but this was the first time that any actual proof had been presented to her.
"Thank you for confiding in me," she told Lupin. "You'd be surprised how everyone tries to keep things from me around here. Even after spending a year at Hogwarts, I still don't know much about Harry Potter, or why he's famous."
"I imagine Albus must have his reasons for shielding you from too many worries."
"Are there things I should be worried about?"
"No, not at present. But, tell me, Clancy, what have you decided? Will you still be my friend, now that you know about my condition?"
"Of course I will, Remus!" She reached across the table to pat the back of his hand. "Nobody's perfect!"