Chapter 31: Murder, She Says!
*~~~*~~~*
For the remainder of the afternoon, Snape sulked in solitude. After bickering with Clancy endlessly over the fishing debacle, he had deserted her and stalked out of the tent in a fit of bad temper to collect plants for his potions experiments. He needed time alone to think, brood and hatch a plan to renege on his promise to wear a kilt.
How that woman loved to humiliate him! In good faith, he had accepted her challenge to catch a trout without resorting to magic. Hadn’t he been willing to transfigure Muggle fishing poles to her exact specifications? How was he to know that his only catch of the day would be his own posterior?
He’d been so certain that he would win, and that she would be forced to take back his ring. It galled him that she had refused to search for it. The sight of her flitting about, disappointed that she couldn’t find it would have cheered him.
And what of the Jarvey? He’d been extremely tolerant, under the circumstances. A wizard with less self-discipline would have cut out the beast’s tongue straightaway. But not Severus Snape. He was the image of patience and maturity. He’d been taunted before; it was nothing new: the ugliness jokes, snide references to his pale complexion, greasy hair, and bad teeth -- and of course, the obligatory nose insults. How original! How clever! Snape determined that Jarvey stew would do just as well for dinner in lieu of Trout Almondine.
After Clancy had showered and changed clothes, she set off to find Glutgut. She couldn’t wait to tell him that he would soon be going to a new home. True, the creature had a saucy little mouth and didn’t care much for her singing, but there was something about the glint in his eyes, the tilt of his tail, and his round, fuzzy belly that brought out her maternal instinct. Her biological clock was ticking madly, but for now, Glutgut was the best she could do.
Heading into the thicket, she began calling for him. She walked a long distance and was just about to turn back, when a small, muffled voice called out, “Lassie, is that you?”
Clancy looked about, trying to locate the source, when she spied movement beneath a nearby tree. Twigs and fallen pine needles began to stir, and then Glutgut’s head poked out of his burrow.
“Glutgut, there you are! I’ve been looking for you! Everything has been arranged, and we’re taking you back to Hogwarts with us!” Clancy crossed over and squatted down beside the Jarvey’s lair.
Twitching his whiskers as if considering her offer, Glutgut asked, “Did your wizard friend agree to this?”
“Well, let’s just say that circumstances have forced him to become amenable to the plan.”
“Will I be treated kindly there?”
“Of course! You won’t be allowed inside the castle where we live and teach, but you can run about the grounds and the Forbidden Forest. And I’m certain Hagrid will be delighted to look after you.”
“Hagrid?”
“I mentioned him to you earlier. He’s Hogwarts’ gamekeeper, and he teaches Care of Magical Creatures. He’s bound to make a big impression on you. I’m sure the students will adore you. You do get along well with young people, don’t you?”
“Aye. I don’t go easy on them, though. They’re just as much fun to insult as adults. What do you teach, lass?”
“I’m the Choir Director.”
“Go on! What do you really teach?”
“Glutgut! Some people like my singing,” Clancy said defensively.
“I’m willing to take your word for it. I don’t suppose you’d invite me back to your campsite for dinner tonight, would you?”
“I think that could be arranged. Come around later and I’ll make sure you’re fed, but please, don’t sneak inside our tent again. And try to be nice to Severus. He’s very sensitive.”
“As well he should be. He’s not exactly easy on the eyes.”
“Please try to get along with him for the rest of the week. Once we’re back at Hogwarts, I doubt you’ll see much of him.”
“That’ll suit me. But I’ll get to see you, won’t I?”
“Yes, my mornings are generally free. I’ll come and visit you as often as I can.”
Clancy scratched Glutgut behind his ear. “Till tonight, then?”
“Till tonight, lass.”
Snape’s hunt for plant specimens had proved rewarding, and by the time he returned to the tent, his mood had lightened considerably. He was concerned when he discovered Clancy missing, but he assumed she had gone for a hike just as he had done to work off her anger. After an hour had passed, however, he began to have an uneasy feeling, so he decided to search for her.
Suspecting that she had gone to find Glutgut, Snape wandered into the thicket. As he walked along, he called out her name, and after a time, he heard a faint, “Severus -- help!” Rushing in the direction of her voice, he found Clancy sitting on the ground rubbing her foot.
“Are you injured?” he asked, hurrying over to her.
“Not seriously, no. I tripped over a tree root protruding from the ground and twisted my ankle. I tried to stand, but it hurts when I put my weight on it.”
Snape lifted her gently into his arms. “Why didn’t you ring the Summoning Bell? I would have heard it and come to you immediately.”
“I didn’t bring it with me.”
“You left it in the tent?”
“No, back at the castle.”
“It is imperative that you keep it with you at all times. Never forget again.”
“But, why? I thought you meant only when we aren’t together.”
“At all times,” he reiterated plainly.
“Yes, Severus. I’ll remember.”
Their hostility toward one another had cooled during their brief separation, and by the time they arrived back at the campsite, they were positively chummy again.
“Clancy,” Snape began carefully, as he placed her on the bed, “do you really expect me to wear a kilt for the rest of the week?”
“I’m more than willing to compromise if you’ll concede that your anger, pride, and obstinate behavior are frequently the cause of your undoing. It’s time you grew up and started behaving like a rational, mature adult.”
“I promise to try, but I can’t guarantee that it will happen overnight.”
Clancy patted the edge of the bed, inviting him to join her. Snape climbed in eagerly.
“I’ll say one thing, Severus. Our relationship has been a bit bumpy from the start. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Granted,” Snape allowed.
“In retrospect, it’s been a rather disappointing exercise in love and redemption.”
Snape snorted in mild amusement. “You may as well know it now: I am clearly unredeemable.” Pulling Clancy into an embrace, he added, “But never disappointing.”
Clancy glanced toward the table and then at the curtains. “Which do you prefer “ green or red?”
“Green,” Snape responded suspiciously. “Why?”
“I think the curtains might transfigure into a good-looking kilt, but then again,” she decided, looking back toward the tablecloth, “I’m rather partial to red.”
“What do you mean? I thought you said I didn’t have to wear a kilt.”
“I never said any such thing; I said I would be willing to compromise.”
“What do you expect me to do, then?”
“Since you came to my aide when I needed you, and carried me all the way back here without complaining, I’ve decided you’ll only have to wear the kilt once “ tonight.”
Snape cringed.
“And “”
“There’s more?”
“And, I don’t want to hear any objections to Glutgut's returning to Hogwarts with us. Once he settles in with Hagrid, you won’t have to see him.”
I’ll get even with her for this degradation. I’ll wear the bloody kilt, but I’ll extract my revenge.
“Just as you wish,” he agreed amiably.
“Well, that’s more like it!” Clancy murmured, as she snuggled closer to him. “Throw in the complete ensemble and I’ll make it worth your while,” she added wickedly.
“Oh, by the way,” Snape interjected, “you won’t believe your good fortune.” He reached into his pocket and produced the ring. “I found this in the campsite earlier.”
Clancy smiled thinly. “It’s more your good fortune than mine. Now you can return it to wherever you purchased it for a refund.”
“Why not try it on?” he coaxed. “Please?”
Clancy shrugged. “Since you’re willing to don a kilt, I suppose I can humor you.”
She extended her hand and Snape slid the ring on her finger.
“Walk over to the mirror so you can admire it,” he suggested.
“What for? I can see it fine from here. Besides, I twisted my ankle, remember?”
“Do you like it?”
“Very much. It’s exactly what I’d want “ if I intended to keep it. Not too showy, not too plain - it’s just right.” She made a motion to remove it.
“Wait!” Snape said, taking her hand. “Leave it on a while longer, just to please me. Why don’t you rest until dinner? It will do you good to stay off your feet.”
“You may be right.” She kissed him, and then rolled over and closed her eyes.
A short while later, when Snape was positive Clancy had dozed off, he withdrew his wand and aimed it toward her finger. “Adhaereo Digitus,” he whispered with a devious smile.
After a long snooze, Clancy awoke feeling groggy. Glancing down at her ankle, she discovered Snape had wrapped a transfigured icepack inside a washcloth and placed it over her foot to bring down the swelling.
“What a dear he is,” she sighed. Noticing the ring, she began trying to pull it off, but it held fast. She twisted it a few times, but she couldn’t get it to budge. “That’s funny. It felt loose when Severus slipped it on my finger.”
Clancy sat up, and then gingerly tried to stand. The pain had lessened, so she limped into the bathroom. Soaping her hands, she attempted, again, to remove the ring. She yanked furiously, but without result. After rinsing and drying off, she returned to the bed, just as Snape entered through the tent flap.
“Ah, you’re awake. I’ve been outside preparing dinner. How are you feeling?”
“Much better, thanks to the icepack. That was very thoughtful of you, Severus.”
“Anything I can do to serve you,” he said, bowing facetiously.
“Speaking of serving, that reminds me. There’ll be three for dinner.”
“Three?” Snape repeated questioningly.
“Yes. Glutgut should be arriving shortly.”
Dragging his overstuffed belly on the ground, Snape imagined. “I shall count the moments,” he replied with forced congeniality. “I relish the opportunity to…serve him.”
“That’s the spirit! My, my, you are in a rare mood. You’re positively chipper “ for you, I mean.”
“Well, I’d better check on the dinner preparations.” He turned to leave.
“I’m famished. What are we having?”
“Stew.”
“Mmm. I can’t wait. Oh, by the way. It’s the oddest thing. I can’t seem to get this ring off my finger. It appears to be stuck,” Clancy muttered, pulling at it once again.
“That is peculiar,” Snape agreed. “Perhaps it should be taken as a sign that you were meant to wear it. Won’t you reconsider?”
“At the moment, I don’t seem to have much choice in the matter.” She settled back down against her pillow.
“Rest awhile longer and I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”
An hour later, Snape announced that it was time to eat. Clancy hobbled out and took a seat at a picnic table, which Snape had enlarged for the occasion.
“Have you seen any sign of Glutgut?” Clancy wondered, looking about.
“No,” Snape said, as he served her. He filled a bowl for himself and sat down to join her.
Sampling the fare, Clancy began to rave. “This is delicious, Severus. You’ve really outdone yourself.”
“Thank you. It’s just something I threw together from what was on hand. I believe I’ll call it Slytherin stew."
“Well, it’s scrumptious. I haven’t eaten a thing all day. Glutgut had my share of breakfast, and I just grabbed a can of Dr. Pepper for lunch. I hope you’ve made plenty. I’ll be ready for another bowl soon.”
Snape consumed his food slowly as Clancy continued to devour her meal.
“This is the tastiest stew I’ve ever eaten,” she gushed between mouthfuls. “If Glutgut doesn’t hurry along, there won’t be any left.”
“I’m sure the dear little fellow is with us in spirit.”
“This chicken is so flavorful!”
“It tastes like chicken, anyway,” he observed offhandedly.
Clancy regarded Snape curiously for a moment before pushing her bowl aside. “Honi soit qui mal y pense,” she choked out in fury. “You…you murderer!”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You’re a monster! How could you? You knew how much I cared for him. I’ll hate you for the rest of my life!”
She sprang from the table and half-ran, half-limped back inside the tent. Throwing herself down on the bed, she began to sob.
Bewildered, Snape stared toward the tent and blinked. After a time, he ventured inside.
“What’s the matter with you?” he asked. "Why are you behaving so irrationally?” Snape approached the bed.
“Keep away from me! I want to return to Hogwarts. Now!”
“What’s upsetting you? What is it you think I’ve done?”
“You’ve killed him! You’ve killed Glutgut!” she spat. Clancy sat up and faced him, clutching her pillow in front of her for protection.
“Come to your senses. I didn’t harm the wretched beast.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth. The Jarvey is worthless, but I didn’t kill him. Why would you think that?”
“You said you couldn’t wait to serve him, and that he was with us in spirit. Then when I complimented your cooking, you said, ‘it tastes like chicken, anyway’.”
“It was a game bird “ grouse, I believe. That’s what I meant. The kitchen-elves prepared it, and then packed it in ice in the food chest. I merely added it to the stew.”
“Then where is he?” she demanded, sniffling.
“I can’t say that I care. Now come out and let’s finish our meal.”
“Find him.”
“I wouldn’t begin to know where to look. You’re being unreasonable.”
“The only way you’ll convince me that Glutgut is alive is to bring him here.”
“And just where would you suggest I search? These woods are immense.”
“I know where he lives. Go through the thicket a good distance past where you found me until you come across a large boulder. Beyond the boulder, you’ll see a grouping of three pines standing apart from the others. Glutgut has a burrow underneath the middle tree.”
“Can’t it wait until morning? He might show up, yet.”
Clancy made no reply, but began tugging wrathfully at the ring.
“All right!" Snape shouted. “I’ll find the blasted creature!” He stormed out of the tent.
An hour passed. Clancy lay in bed, seething, glaring at the ceiling and cursing the day she’d opened Aunt Hilly’s hatbox. Her illusions of life in the Wizarding world were slowly shattering. She’d trusted Snape and taken him on faith in spite of all his misdeeds. And now, this. She writhed and squirmed, rolling from side to side across the bed, determined to remove the hateful ring.
Just as she was about to scream in rage at the top of her lungs, the tent flap parted and a small stretcher floated through. Snape followed behind it.
“Here’s your overfed friend,” he snarled, lowering the stretcher to the floor.
Glutgut lay on his side, holding his swollen belly in his arms. He groaned pathetically and regarded Clancy.
“What happened, Glutgut?” she asked, kneeling beside him. “Did Severus harm you?”
“No, lass,” he whimpered. "I was on my way to join you for dinner when I came across a nest of tasty voles. They were plump and tender; I couldn’t resist. I stuffed the lot of them down my craw and fell into a bloated stupor. When I awoke, I was sailing through the air, and your dark laddie was walking behind me, cursing up a storm. Your name came up once or twice.”
Clancy glanced at Snape.
“I believe an apology is in order,” he said, attempting to look noble.
“Severus, I’m sorry.”
“How sorry?”
“Extremely sorry. I take back everything I said.”
“Are you sorry enough to release me from the bet and to agree to wear my ring?”
She deliberated a bit longer than Snape felt was necessary.
“Well?” he demanded impatiently.
“I’ll release you from one or the other, but not from both,” she decided.
Now it was Snape’s turn to consider the matter thoroughly.
“All right. If you’ll agree to keep the ring, and wear it,” he stressed, “I’ll put on a kilt.”
“The complete ensemble?”
“That’s asking too much!” he protested.
“You won’t have to wear it long,” she teased pointedly.
“Will I be rewarded sufficiently?”
Clancy left Glutgut and approached Snape. “I’ll say you will,” she assured him, winding her arms around his neck.
Glutgut covered his eyes and emitted a terrible wail. “Keep your distance “ the last vole is trying to come up on me!” He began to heave dramatically.
Snape reacted quickly and sent Glutgut’s stretcher gliding outside, before the Jarvey lost his dinner. Magically hollowing out one end of a log, he fashioned a comfortable shelter for the ailing creature.
“Try to curb your impulse to gorge,” Snape suggested coldly.
Glutgut crept inside his new digs, and then peeped out at him. “I’d like to give you a going-away present “ but you’ll have to do your part.”
“Ungrateful beast,” Snape muttered. He carried the stewpot inside the tent to ensure Glutgut would not be tempted to indulge in a midnight snack.
Rejoining Clancy, he cast a spell to prevent the rascally creature from sneaking in during the night.
After finishing the remains of the stew, Clancy cleared the table and removed the tablecloth. She handed it to him ceremoniously.
“I’ll perform the transfigurations in private, if you don’t mind,” he decided solemnly.
“I’d actually prefer that you did. I’d rather be dazzled by the full effect.”
Snape retrieved a few items of his apparel and retreated into the bathroom. Forty minutes passed, and Clancy was beginning to grow impatient.
“Isn’t it about time for the great unveiling? What’s taking so long?” she called from outside the door.
“I am a Potions master, not a couturier,” he reminded her sharply. “I suggest that you exercise patience, unless you’d care to reconsider “”
“Nothing doing. I’ll wait.”
At last, Snape emerged. He stood recalcitrant with his arms crossed and his legs set apart. He scowled deeply, accentuating his furrowed brow. A strand of limp hair hung over his left eye.
Clancy stared at him, speechless. There was quite a lot to take in. She regarded him from head to toe and back, again. Then, she made a visual round trip once more, just to verify that her eyes were not deceiving her.
Snape wore a white, ruffled jabot, similar to the one he had worn when he’d appeared as The Great Snapini. But the doublet stood apart as a work of art by itself. Highly tailored, and fitted at the waist, the black velvet was trimmed with white piping at the seams. The kilt was immediately recognizable as the tartan tablecloth, but Clancy had to admire the effort he’d put into the pleats.
The boots were unique. Clancy had never seen anything quite like them, outside of a theatrical poster for an Edwardian light opera. Black and white, square-toed with heels, they hit Snape at mid-shin. A row of ten buttons lined the sides. Next, her eyes lingered on the remarkable knee socks, in a most unusual shade of lime “ Snape’s attempt at emulating Slytherin House colors, she assumed. He certainly had an eye for detail; the tassels attested to the fact.
His white, stork-like legs looked barely able to support his frame. His knobby knees held a certain appeal -- for Clancy, at least. However, she would be the first to admit that her sense of male aesthetics had always been a bit curious.
Finally, she studied the sporran. The remarkable pouch called out to her as a tantalizing testament to what lay hidden underneath. White goatskin, with three black tassels, Snape had embossed a unique design directly below the nickel-plated top.
“Well? Are you going to stand there gaping, or are you going to tell me what you think?”
“You look…spiffy,” was all Clancy could think of to say. “And the little extra touch on the sporran is very…cute,” she added vaguely.
“Cute? Is that all you have to say? That’s the thanks I receive for attempting to please you!”
“I don’t really understand what more there is you expect me to say. It’s very authentic looking. Of course, I’m from California, so what do I know?”
“How much longer do I have to wear this preposterous thing?”
“I’m undressing you already, with my eyes,” she confessed impishly.
“If you dare to breathe a word of this to Filius or anyone, I will seek my revenge. It took me two pairs of perfectly good trousers to transfigure this attire. That only leaves me with three to spare.”
“I’ll do all I can to ensure you don’t lose them.”
Clancy transferred to the bed and motioned for Snape to join her. He obliged without hesitation.
“How is it,” he asked, “that you have never dressed for me? You’re always in casual Muggle attire, with the exception of the plain, indigo robe that you wear when you teach.”
“Why should I invest good money on an assortment of wizarding apparel? It doesn’t suit me. I’d feel as if I were on my way to a masquerade ball.”
“Then you should be able to sympathize with how I feel at present.”
Clancy pulled off Snape’s boots and flung them across the room.
“Would you?” he pressed.
“Chances are I would, but what is it, exactly, that you’re talking about?” She removed Snape’s socks, next, exposing his scrawny legs.
“Would you be willing to…dress up for me?”
“I thought you preferred me undressed.”
Snape’s doublet was the next item to go.
“I do, only…”
“Well, out with it. What do you have in mind? Would you like me to dress like a Hogwarts student so you can give me detention?” she snickered.
“Now you’re being absurd.”
“I’m trying my best.” She began unbuttoning his jabot, fluffing out its frills, as she did so. “You know,” Clancy joked, “if I messed up my hair and stuck out my front teeth like a good British beaver, I could do a mean impersonation of what’s-her-name.”
“I find your jest to be in poor taste. I’m not at all certain to whom you are referring, and I’d prefer to keep it that way. The headmaster would be shocked. It is a prurient fantasy that would only be entertained by a disturbed mind.”
“Ah, then you think I have a disturbed mind?”
She began to fiddle with his sporran.
“I’ve never been entirely convinced that you possess a mind, at all “ disturbed or otherwise. But at the moment, it seems rather unimportant.”
Sporran successfully removed, Snape was left clad only in his kilt.
“The last frontier,” Clancy crowed, feeling quite giddy. “Only a wee bit ‘o cloth lies between me and my Tartan Man’s Neeps and Tatties,” she giggled.
“Have you been drinking?” Snape inquired, frowning.
“Only Dr. Pepper. I’m so relieved that Glutgut is alive and to learn that you’re not as evil as you look, that I suppose I’m just feeling relaxed and uninhibited.”
“You still haven’t answered my question. Would you consider dressing up for me?”
“Name your pleasure.”
“Would you…wear a…a…”
“Well?”
Snape hesitated for a moment, then blurted out, “Would you wear a long, dark red wig?”
Clancy’s good humor evaporated. “Who was she?” she demanded.
“I beg your pardon?”
“The titian tart, the memory of whom, your time with me has apparently not dulled.”
“I had no one specific in mind. If you find tartan clad wizards appealing, why am I not allowed indulging in a fantasy of my own? I think red hair would go well with your green eyes “ that’s all I meant.”
“I’ve never cared for red hair. You’ll have to select another fantasy.”
“That’s really the only fantasy I have. I like blonde hair, too. I didn’t mean to imply that I prefer red. Suppose we forget I proposed the idea?” Snape suggested, trying to salvage the situation.
“All right. But you should know, for future reference, that there is about as much chance of me donning a red wig, as there is of my dancing a Spanish fandango with a lily between my teeth.”
Snape shifted his eyes uncomfortably and cleared his throat. “I believe you mean ‘rose’.”
“Of course that’s what I meant. Why “ what did I say?”
“Never mind.”
The rest of the evening proceeded with Snape on tenterhooks, wondering if he’d blundered, and with Clancy suspicious that she was not his first true love. But after a time, with less talking, and even less tartan, their night of renewed passion, at last, proved rewarding.
Shortly before daybreak, Snape removed the charm on Clancy’s ring. She awoke briefly afterward, and absentmindedly began to twist it. Finding that she could slip it off her finger easily, she chose to leave it in place.
Strange, she thought to herself, now it’s loose, again. Shame on me for suspecting Severus might have done something underhanded to force me to wear it. He may appear untrustworthy, but when the chips are down, he’s as honest as they come. My fingers must have swollen from temporary water retention. I’d better cut back on Dr. Pepper, she decided, before falling back into a peaceful slumber.
After a good night’s sleep, the devoted lovers awoke. Clancy climbed out of bed and reached for her dressing gown.
“Come back to bed. Why are you up bustling about at such an early hour?” Snape complained.
“I want to check on Glutgut.”
“Let the miserable glutton sleep off his disgraceful overindulgence. You can’t go anywhere unless I remove the ward.”
“Then remove the ward.”
“I am disinclined to do so, at present. Now, come to bed.”
Clancy did as Snape requested. “Am I your prisoner?”
“No, merely a nuisance.”
“What shall we do today?” she asked.
“Must we always be doing something? Can’t we stay indoors and relax? I thought I might like to classify the plant specimens I collected yesterday while you were being difficult.”
“Then why did you insist upon taking me camping? If all you intended to do was loaf, we could just as well have remained at the castle. So far, all we’ve done is fish and fight.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I believe after last night we’ve progressed beyond angling and arguing.”
“Perhaps so, but I’d like to be able to say that I’ve actually seen something of the Highlands. Can’t we take the flying carpet to another location where there’s a bit more happening?”
“I selected a remote location so we would not be intruded upon by Muggles. Besides, what would we do with Glutgut?” Of all the ludicrous names. Only a madwoman could invent something so abhorrent, Snape grumbled to himself.
“We’ll bring him with us, naturally. He’s domesticated. Which reminds me,” Clancy remembered suddenly, “you haven’t completely fulfilled the terms of the bet.”
“What do you mean? I’ve worn the kilt and that’s all I intend to do.”
“What about Glutgut’s kilt? You promised to transfigure a matching one for him.”
Snape rolled away from Clancy and sulked. “I refuse to waste a perfectly good pair of trousers to transfigure clothes for an animal. The beast is no longer a performer. What use would he have for a kilt?”
“He’s a natural born entertainer! Glutgut could work up an act with Hagrid to amuse the students, or…wait a minute! I wonder if he can sing. I could give him a specialty number in the Yule Concert.”
“Now you have lost your mind. The headmaster would never consent to such lunacy.”
“Would you care to make a little wager on that?”
“No, I would not.”
And so it went for the remainder of the week. They kissed, quarreled, picnicked, and pondered the improbability of their relationship. They idled away their holiday strolling through the pines and sitting beside the stream.
The hours of ardor sped by, while the intervals of sharing their interests with one another dragged horribly. Clancy tried to educate Snape on the finer points of obscure Muggle music and explained to him painstakingly why the collaboration of Kalmar and Ruby was the touchstone for musical drollery. Snape found himself dozing as she launched into the third chorus of “Since Rebecca Came Back from Mecca”.
Snape rhapsodized on the beauty of the simmering cauldron. He enlightened Clancy on the twenty-seven known uses for sneezewort, and elucidated pedantically upon rat spleens and their contribution to the longevity of hags. She pretended to be fascinated, rather than hurt his feelings, but her mind wandered from boredom. She smiled and nodded politely, while discovering that sneezewort was an anagram for “no tweezers”, and rat spleens rearranged into “asp relents”.
Glutgut, for the most part, ate and slept. He was delighted to be near humans, again -- particularly their food. Now that he was no longer an entertainer, he had no more desire to dress in tartan than Snape. Typical males: They put up a united front to protest her interference with their wardrobe. Glutgut had become used to going without clothes, although he did express an interest in performing for the Yule Concert, once Clancy mentioned the splendiferous meals prepared at the castle.
Snape reverted to his standard black attire, although Clancy insisted he keep his Highland garb for special romantic occasions.
When the time came to leave their Highland haven, Snape, Clancy, and Glutgut climbed aboard the flying carpet to return to Hogwarts. Snape vowed to keep Clancy near, the Jarvey at a distance, and to survive another year “ and he congratulated himself that he still had three pairs of trousers. Glutgut resolved to find a mate and to never miss a meal.
Clancy looked forward to the new school term and wondered what new adventures it would hold in store. She’d blocked out most of what Snape had told her concerning Voldemort and his imminent return. She found the subject disturbing and decided not to dwell on it. Surely, Clancy believed, Snape’s lingering guilt over his crimes had caused him to exaggerate the seriousness of the situation. She had a ring, and she had her wizard. That was all that mattered. She thought it best to live for the moment and take life as it came. That had been Aunt Hilly’s philosophy, after all.
Unquestionably, Clancy thought, the year ahead will be the best one yet. The Chamber of Secrets is no longer a threat, and Sirius Black and the dementors are gone. What else could possibly happen?
Author’s Notes:
My thanks to LariLee for suggesting, “It tastes like chicken, anyway.”
Of all the ludicrous names. Only a madwoman could invent something so abhorrent, Snape grumbled to himself.
SeaIsleWitch, I’m sure you must know that Snape is referring only to Clancy, as he has no way of knowing that you devised the name! So please forgive him, and me.
Which came first “ the picture or the kilt description? The picture, actually. Sigune drew Snape in a kilt for me, which I appreciate more than I can express. I took my description of it directly from her drawing, but I really couldn’t do it justice, as it is being seen from Clancy’s POV, and her knowledge of Scottish dress is quite rudimentary. I printed it out, and his image glowers at me in a frame atop my desk. If you would like to view it, click on the link in my bio and it will take you to Sycophant Hex’s Illusions Archive. Once you are there, maximize the picture and you will see the surprise Clancy discovered on Snape’s sporran.
In addition to being a talented artist, Sigune is also one of my favorite authors. She writes a very canon Snape. The link to her Mugglenet stories is also in my bio. Please check them out!