Chapter 37: I Wish I Didn’t Love You So
*~~~*~~~*
I might be smiling by now
With some new tender friend,
Smiling by now
With my heart on the mend.
But when I try,
Something in my heart says no.
You’re still there --
I wish I didn’t love you so.
*~~~*~~~*
A number of hours later, Clancy slowly began to stir. She squinted at the clock on her bed table. “Eight o’clock,” she groaned. Blinking in confusion, she read the time again. “EIGHT O’CLOCK?”
Scooting out of bed, she padded into the bathroom. She filled a paper cup with water, took a few sips, and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Where had the last five hours gone? The recital “ the man “ the Dr. Pepper. The man “ the Leaky Cauldron “ Hogwarts “ Severus. HOGWARTS! SEVERUS! Like ocean waves swelling, driven by the pull of the tides to build and release, the memories of her three years with Snape came flowing back to her.
“It’s Severus! FIG is Severus! Rhonda was right!” Goose bumps paraded down her spine, tears welled in her eyes, and she began cavorting about the house on her toes in an absurd imitation of an intoxicated sugarplum fairy. Her heart felt as light as a helium balloon rising above the smog, and she burst into song. “The pineapple pin!” She twirled her way back to the bedroom to fasten it to her jacket. “S and L! Snapini and Lulu! I’m Lulu!”
Rhonda entered through the patio and made her way down the hall to the bedroom.
“Clancy? Is everything all right? We could hear you squealing, and belting out ‘Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Da’ from next door!”
“Rhonda! I remember! My memory came back! It’s Severus!” She pointed to the pin. “I’m Lulu! I’m Lulu!”
“Oh dear.” Rhonda’s spirits sank, assuming her friend had at last slipped into madness. “No, your name is Clancy. Come with me,” she said, leading her into the living room. “I’ll see to it that you get all the help you need…you poor darling.”
“Rhonda!” Clancy laughed, pulling away. “I know I’m Clancy “ but I’m Lulu, too! I’m perfectly sane. I remember everything now!” She spotted the two empty glasses on the coffee table and executed a grand jeté in their general direction. “Look!” she said, pointing to them. “The man you saw me speaking to at the recital “ remember? I brought him home with me. He knew about the Leaky Cauldron, he “”
The doorbell rang. Clancy was still flitting about like a Golden Snitch, so Rhonda decided she’d best answer it. Flicking on the porch light, she opened the door to a man blinking uncomfortably, blinded by the harsh illumination.
“Sorry,” Rhonda apologized. “The brightness is a bit jarring, isn’t it?”
“Perfectly all right,” he said affably. “All the better to see you with, my dear.”
“REMUS!” Recognizing his voice, Clancy pushed past Rhonda and propelled herself into his arms.
“I take it you two know each other.”
“Rhonda, Remus. Remus, Rhonda,” Clancy said, introducing them. “He was one of my colleagues at Hogwarts!”
“Hogwarts? That’s the name of the school where you taught?”
“Yes, that’s right,” Lupin interjected. “Hogwarts School of…er…of…er…” Remus looked to Clancy, not knowing quite what to say in front of a Muggle.
“Magical Training,” Clancy provided. “They teach children how to become magicians.”
“How interesting,” Rhonda said. “But, why would magicians need to know how to sing “ and why couldn’t we find any information about the place?”
“Oh, performers in Britain have to be well-rounded,” Clancy explained.
“Yes, and the school is so popular, we have to maintain a low profile to keep from being flooded with inquiries. Its location is kept strictly confidential,” Lupin added.
Rhonda remained skeptical. “What, exactly, is the Leaky Cauldron?”
“It’s a pub in London,” he said.
“A school of magic has to have its teachers’ mail forwarded from a pub? Why couldn’t we locate the address of a pub?”
“It’s no use, Remus. We may as well tell her the truth.”
“Not now, if you don’t mind, Clancy. I’m sure you’re eager to learn what caused your memory loss.”
“You knew I lost my memory? Why didn’t Severus come to find me and bring me back? There’s so much I need to ask you.” Turning to Rhonda, Clancy said, “Do you mind if I speak to Remus privately? We have a lot of catching up to do.”
“As long as you promise to fill me in later.” Thrilled that her friend’s memory had returned, Rhonda hugged Clancy and made a tactful exit.
“There’s not a thing in the house I can offer you to eat. Shall we walk up the street and grab a bite while we talk?”
“If you’d like.”
Lupin waited at the door while Clancy tidied her hair and found her purse. Wok King Miller’s was only two blocks away, so the two old friends strolled along, enjoying the warm summer breeze and the scent of jasmine, conversing comfortably together as if no time had passed at all.
“What a lovely night,” Clancy sighed. Everything always looks so magical when there’s a full moon.”
“Yes, doesn’t it though?”
They ambled along for a moment, and then Clancy froze. “R-R-Remus,” she asked nervously. “Y-Y-You’re not going to…to…” She glanced up at the moon.
A broad grin swept across Lupin’s face. “I’m cured “ completely cured. All thanks to Severus.”
“Severus found the cure? Did the Ministry finally award him the Order of Merlin he’d been coveting?” She followed those questions up with a dozen more, all having to do with Snape.
“Perhaps I’d better explain everything to you after we arrive at the restaurant. It’s rather complicated. In fact, most of what I have to tell you is rather…complicated.”
When at last they reached their destination, Lupin requested a secluded booth in the back, where they could talk freely. After the waiter served their tea, Lupin began by telling Clancy that Voldemort had been defeated, and that Professor Dumbledore had ordered Snape to brew the Forgetfulness Potion to keep her safe. He assured her that the scheme had been entirely Dumbledore’s idea, not Snape’s, and that he, himself, had been instructed to administer the potion to her directly before she had boarded the plane.
“Please don’t be angry with me, Clancy. I was given no say in the matter.”
Lupin looked so forlorn, Clancy felt sorry for him. “I’m not angry with you “ but I intend to give Albus a piece of my mind when I see him. Surely, he could have thought of another way. If only “”
“Clancy “”
“I could have remained. He had no right to “”
“Clancy, listen to me for a moment. Albus is…dead.”
It took some time for Lupin’s words to sink in. “No…I’m so sorry. Did it happen during the battle?”
“No, he’s been gone for a year.” Lupin stared morosely into his teacup.
“How did it happen? Had he been ill?”
“Yes,” Lupin said, with his eyes still fixed downward. “His health had been worsening for some time, due to an infection. It was Severus, in fact, whom he relied on to provide him with palliative potions.”
The waiter came with a platter of dim sum, much to Lupin’s relief.
Clancy’s intuition told her something wasn’t right. “Why didn’t Severus come for me himself? Is he all right? Has he missed me? How soon can we leave?”
“My orders were to return you to Hogwarts immediately.”
“Orders? Whose orders?”
“Minerva’s. She’s headmistress now. Do you remember the portraits of the former headmasters in Albus’ office?”
“Yes. I must admit they unnerved me “ always moving in and out of their frames.”
“Albus’ image joined their ranks shortly after he died. Minerva is using his office now, and recently Albus’ portrait has begun spouting nonsense whenever she enters the room. For a week, all he said was, ‘Try cleaning comb’.”
“Try cleaning comb?” I’m afraid I don’t understand.
“None of us did, at first, until Filius sorted out that it might be an anagram.”
“Portraits can play anagrams?” Clancy asked.
Lupin shrugged. “If magical portraits can move and speak, I suppose there’s no reason they can’t play anagrams, too.”
“But what does ‘try cleaning comb’ mean? Have you solved it?”
“Yes, but it took Filius and I quite a long time. We found ‘cycling brat omen’, ‘by long arctic men’, ‘me not clingy crab’, ‘noting becalm cry’ “ but none of them made any sense. Then finally, a few days ago, we unraveled it: ‘Try cleaning comb’ is an anagram for ‘bring Clancy to me’.”
“Now I’m more confused than ever. Why does Albus’ portrait want to see me?”
Lupin gazed at Clancy intently before speaking. “I suspect it’s something to do with Severus. What I have to tell you won’t be pleasant for you to hear. You must try to be strong.”
Clancy grew anxious. “Something’s happened to Severus, hasn’t it? I had a terrifying dream about him a year ago. I couldn’t see his face, but I know it was him. He was hurt “ and he was running away into the darkness. Tell me, Remus. I must know.”
Reluctantly, Lupin told Clancy how Dumbledore had met his death “ by a Killing Curse from Snape’s wand. He recounted to her all that had transpired within the past year, and what had happened when Voldemort was defeated.
Devastated by Lupin’s disclosure, Clancy remained silent. She could not accept the fact that Snape had murdered Dumbledore. Yet as she began to process the information Lupin revealed, she held out hope that in spite of appearances, there must be more to the story.
“Then, no one knows where Severus is, or if he’s alive or…dead?”
“As I was saying,” Lupin elaborated, “things became rather confused. The other Order members and I were preoccupied with taking down the Death Eaters. It was Severus alone, who saved Harry, but by the time Harry regained consciousness to tell us what had happened, Severus’ body had disappeared. The last time I saw him was from a distance, as we were preparing to transport Harry to St. Mungo’s. He was lying on the ground and Moody was standing over him. He snapped Severus’ wand in half and spat in his face. ‘You’ll never do Dark magic again, you filthy traitor’, he said. When the Order returned later to the spot where he’d fallen, his body was gone.”
“He can’t be dead “ he can’t be. It would be too cruel for me to remember him, only to lose him again.” Clancy pushed her plate aside, unable to touch the food.
“Never give up hope, Clancy. Severus is a true Slytherin -- a survivor. There’s a chance he might be in hiding somewhere living as a Muggle, for fear that Aurors are still hunting him. If he is alive, he’s doubtless cut himself off from the Wizarding world and doesn’t realize his name has been cleared. There’s still the matter of Albus’ death, but Severus proved in the end that he’d been working for the Order all along.”
“How soon can we leave?” Clancy asked.
“That’s the spirit. As soon as you’ve packed. I know how you feel about magical forms of transportation. We can return by conventional Muggle means, if you’d prefer.”
Arriving back home, Clancy began to pack immediately. She telephoned Rhonda to come over so she could say goodbye.
“Can we tell her, Remus “ please?”
“About our world? I don’t think it would be wise.”
Clancy gave him such a pleading look, that he reconsidered.
“It’s highly irregular, but if it would cheer you. Of course you know she’ll never believe us.”
“We’ll make her believe. She’s my dearest friend, but I know underneath all her concern and understanding, she thinks I’m nuts.”
Packing completed, Clancy set her luggage down in the middle of the living room, just as Rhonda came in. Remus stood by the window, curious as to what proof Clancy expected him to provide to prove to her neighbor that he was a wizard.
“Oh, isn’t that sweet,” Rhonda said, noticing the bright teal bags. “You’re using the luggage tags Amy made for you as a crafts project. She’s already gone to bed, but Brad should be over in a few minutes.” Rhonda noted Clancy’s mischievous expression. “What’s up?”
“I think you’d better sit down.”
“All right.” Rhonda seated herself on the couch. “Now, what’s going on?”
“All the years we were growing up, did you ever notice anything…funny about Aunt Hilly?”
“No. She was always nice to me and said amusing things. What do you mean?”
“Aunt Hilly was a witch.”
Both Clancy and Lupin waited for some sort of reaction from Rhonda, but she disappointed them.
“Yes, I remember. Every Halloween she used to put on a pointed hat and “”
“No, Rhonda. Aunt Hilly was a real witch, and Remus is a wizard. Severus is one, too.”
“Really? And you’re a witch too, I suppose?” She folded her arms and gave Lupin a quizzical look.
“Of course not. I’m a Muggle -- a non-magical person -- just like you. The reason you couldn’t find out any information about Hogwarts is because Muggles can’t see it. That’s why there’s no record of it anywhere. The same with the Leaky Cauldron. There’s a whole other world of magic that exists alongside of ours that’s invisible to our eyes.”
“Then how can you see it?”
“Well, I…” Clancy had to defer to Lupin.
“Wizards can apply special charms to enable Muggles to enter our world. If Muggles should stumble upon the castle by accident, all they would see is ruins. If, however, they are presented with a train ticket for the Hogwarts Express, it gives them entrée as if they were one of us,” Lupin explained.
“You two can have your little joke.” Rhonda sat back and smiled patiently. “When you’re ready to tell me the real story, let me know.”
“You’ve already had proof that we’re telling the truth, come to think of it,” Clancy recalled suddenly. “Do you remember a few weeks ago when your blow dryer broke and I loaned you mine? You told me you were using it when we had a power failure, and you wondered at the time why it still worked when none of your other appliances did. Professor Dumbledore bewitched it for me to operate without electricity when I first came to the castle, and he forgot to remove the spell before I left.”
“Sorry, not good enough. It was probably on battery backup or something.”
“It’s already packed, but I can take it out and show you if it will convince you.”
“I’ve a better idea,” Lupin interjected. Withdrawing his wand, he aimed it at Clancy’s luggage. “Watch closely, now.”
Rhonda stared in wonder as Lupin shrank the suitcases and beckoned them to float across the room and into his pocket.
The unflappable Dr. Rhonda Sepell was in a flap. She opened and shut her mouth repeatedly, without saying a word.
“Now do you believe me?” Clancy asked.
From the expression on Rhonda’s face, apparently she did.
“It’s a pity you’re not up for a Side-Along-Apparition,” Lupin remarked, “or we could make a grand exit.”
Clancy clutched her stomach and shook her head. “Honis soit qui “”
“Yes, I thought as much,” Lupin said. “Portkey, perhaps?”
“Well, it would save the expense of airport shuttle service. You’re sure it’s no worse than a quick yank and a pulling sensation?”
“I can’t make any guarantees, but it would be worth it just for the effect, don’t you think?”
Clancy glanced at Rhonda, who looked completely befuddled.
“All right. Just for the occasion, I’m willing to chance it.”
Lupin reached for the empty glass that he’d left on the coffee table earlier. “This should do. I’m not certified by the Portkey Office of the Department of Magical Transportation to create one of these, you know, but I am on special assignment for the Order, technically speaking.”
“W-W-What’s he doing?” Rhonda asked, at last finding her voice. “W-W-Why’s the glass glowing and turning blue?”
“You’ll see. We’ll be leaving in a few moments. We’re going to the airport the easy way.”
“Clancy, it’s not that I don’t want to believe you, it’s just that this whole thing is so…so…”
“Highly improbable?” Lupin provided as he joined Clancy. “Place your arm around my waist. Just close your eyes and “”
“Doesn’t she need to put on her ruby slippers first?”
“I don’t think so, Rhonda. I believe I can accomplish this in toto without any special footwear,” Lupin said, winking at Clancy.
“But when will I hear from you?”
“I’ll be in touch. I promise.” Clancy went over to the couch and gave her a hug. She noted Rhonda’s worried expression. “I’ll be fine. As soon as I’m with Severus again…I’ll be fine.”
“No one will ever believe me if I say anything about this.”
“You’re right “ so it’s best not to tell anyone!” Clancy returned to Lupin’s side. “I’m ready, Remus.”
“It was a pleasure making your acquaintance, Rhonda,” Lupin said as he placed one arm around Clancy’s shoulder. He held the glass between them and instructed her to grasp it with her free hand.
“I still can’t believe any of this! All I could see was the obvious. From now on, I’m going to become more open-minded and try to accept that anything might be possible.”
“Careful, Rhonda,” Clancy teased. “You’re guilty of magical thinking!”
“Three, two, one,” Remus counted.
Clancy gulped and lurched forward, looking a bit queasy, and in an instant, they vanished.
Several minutes later, Brad came in and found his wife staring into space, smiling dreamily. “Where’s Clancy?”
She looked up at him, her eyes glistening. “She’ll soon be right back where she belongs.”
At the Burrow, Molly Weasley cleared the dinner dishes from the table, leaving Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny alone to talk.
“Who would have believed “ all those years “ Professor Snape “ right under our noses,” Ron said.
“I always knew he was up to something. I suspected it all along,” Harry added.
“Honestly, you two!” Hermione began. “If anyone should have realized what was going on it, it should have been me. I could kick myself for not being able to read the signs.”
“What signs?” Ginny asked.
“Oh, the signs were everywhere, and we were just too young and naïve to understand them. Snape’s bad temper, all the nocturnal skulking about, the accusations, the furtive glances. He’d been up to something for years,” Hermione told her.
“And,” Harry contributed, “if Snape ever turns up, I bet he’ll be doing the same thing all over again. That’s what Remus predicts, anyway.”
“Now, Harry,” Molly said as she returned to the table, “Professor Snape has been through enough.” She paused to reflect for a moment. “Don’t forget the anonymous owl parcels Bill received this past year. It was obvious he was the one who was sending those healing potions. Who else would have had the expertise to brew them? Why, if it weren’t for Severus, your brother would still be horribly scarred.”
“Oh, it’s ‘Severus’ now, is it, Mum?” Ron rolled his eyes.
“And why not? Professor Dumbledore was right all along to trust him. I do hope he can be found, or there won’t be anyone qualified to teach Potions.”
“Where’s Professor Slughorn?” Hermione asked. “Won’t he be returning?”
“Oh dear. Haven’t you seen today’s Prophet? I laid it on the table earlier, but Arthur must have made off with it. Professor Slughorn was on holiday in Wales. He died quite unexpectedly.”
“How?” All four asked in chorus.
“Death by…pineapple,” Molly revealed solemnly. “It seems he accidentally ate an enchanted one.” She shook her head sadly. “According to the Prophet, his last words were, ‘Oh ho! It feels as though the manky thing is dancing the conga all the way through my large intestines’.” After bowing their heads briefly to pay their respects, Molly added brightly, “So you see? Hogwarts needs Severus!”
“Humph,” Ron snorted. “I still don’t see how Snape was able to pull the wool over our eyes for so long.”
“Ronald Weasley!” Molly scolded. “Severus saved Harry’s life!” Lifting a heavy bowl from the table, she grunted, “I’ll hear no more talk of Severus being a Dark wizard!”
“That’s not what we were discussing, Mum,” Ginny said, defending her brother. “We were talking about the fact that we never realized Professor Snape had been shagging Miss Norgard!”
Molly dropped the bowl and it shattered on the floor. “You children are growing up much too quickly!”
Hermione leveled her wand at the bowl. “Reparo.”
“Oh, thank you, dear!” Molly said with a cheery smile.
“Please come in.” Professor McGonagall escorted Clancy and Lupin into Dumbledore’s former office.
Motioning them into chairs, McGonagall seated herself at the desk. A slight movement behind the desk caught Clancy’s eye. On the wall inside a golden frame, the image of Albus Dumbledore winked conspiratorially at Clancy and waved. She returned the wave uncertainly.
“YEK! YEK! YEK!” Dumbledore declared emphatically.
McGonagall tensed. “He’s been doing that all morning. It’s more than my nerves can stand.”
“YEK! YEK! YEK!” the portrait proclaimed again. This time the strange utterance was accompanied by frantic gesturing toward the desk.
“Do either of you have any idea what he’s trying to tell us?”
Lupin frowned pensively. “Perhaps it’s an incantation of Brythonic origin. We might research it in the library.”
“Possibly. Clancy, do you have an opinion?”
“Well, Minerva, I may be oversimplifying things, but if the word is written the same way that it sounds, perhaps it’s nothing more than ‘key’ spelled backward.
McGonagall peered over her shoulder, as Dumbledore placed one finger upon his nose.
“Something to do with Severus, Albus?” McGonagall asked.
“I believe, Minerva, that is how one indicates in charades that the player has guessed correctly,” Lupin informed her before turning to Clancy. “I still remember the fun the four of us used to have in our Anagram Club “ especially the times we played charades.”
“Yes…and I’ll never forget how inventively Albus acted out ‘Neville Longbottom’," Clancy recalled.
“YEK!” Dumbledore called out once more, causing McGonagall to start.
Reaching inside the top desk drawer, McGonagall presented Clancy with a letter.
“Albus wrote this a week before he…before he died. He instructed me to give it to you if you returned, and told me there was a key inside. He placed a charm on it to ensure that it could only be read by you.”
Clancy opened it and the key fell into her lap.
“What does the letter say?” McGonagall demanded.
Clancy began to read.
“Dear Clancy,
If you are reading this, it can be assumed that all went according to plan and that you have returned safely to Hogwarts. It is imperative that you do not share the contents of this letter with Minerva. She’s a crafty old puss and she’s not to be trusted “”
McGonagall gasped, and then swiveled in her chair to confront the portrait. Dumbledore appeared to be dozing peacefully, but as soon as the headmistress turned away, his eyes reopened, twinkling with mirth.
After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Lupin roared with laughter.
“What’s going on?” Clancy asked. “I don’t understand “ what’s so funny?”
McGonagall sat stiffly, glowering at Lupin.
“I was with Albus the night he wrote that letter. I remember him telling me he intended to reach out from the grave and play a final cosmic joke on Minerva. Priceless!”
A house-elf materialized with a tray and placed it on the desk. McGonagall, looking quite perturbed, offered them tea. As she poured, she was keen to redirect the conversation.
“How are your wedding plans progressing, Remus?” McGonagall inquired.
“I’m afraid they’re a bit indefinite until I can find employment.”
“What’s this?” Clancy set down her teacup and regarded Lupin with surprise. “Remus “ why didn’t you tell me? Who is she?”
“I’ve felt rather reticent to talk about it. I suppose it’s because I still can’t believe my good fortune.” Lupin leaned forward to place his teacup on the desk, but he couldn’t quite reach it.
“What’s her name?” Clancy asked as she took Lupin’s cup from him and transferred it to the tray.
“Tonks.”
“You’re welcome. Well…what’s her name?”
Dumbledore twiddled his beard and nearly slid out of his seat.
“Tonks,” Lupin repeated. Nymphadora Tonks, but she prefers to go by Tonks.”
“Yes, I imagine I would, too. What does she look like?”
“Well, she’s…” Lupin considered the question for a moment. “I suppose one could say she’s a woman of infinite variety. And I’m sure the two of you will get along famously.”
“I’d like to formally offer you your former post, Remus,” Professor McGonagall broke in. “Now that you’ve been cured, I see no reason why the Ministry or the Board of Governors would disapprove of your rejoining the staff.”
“Thank you, Minerva. I’d be delighted to accept,” he said eagerly.
“Now that we’ve settled the matter, why don’t you continue reading the letter, Clancy?” McGonagall suggested.
“Aloud?”
Lupin indicated with a nod that it would be all right. McGonagall regarded Clancy coldly.
“Let’s see, where was I?”
“She’s a crafty old -- ”
McGonagall cleared her throat, and Clancy began, again.
“The first thing I wish to convey, is my regret over the necessity of having to send you away. Please know that your safety was my paramount concern. Severus and Remus are blameless, and I apologize most sincerely for the time you and Severus have lost.
Whatever you may hear to the contrary upon your return, I trust Severus and will continue to place my faith in him. You must always believe in him too, Clancy, even while others doubt. The Dark Arts must be fought in ingenious ways. If one method fails, another must take its place. It all comes down to quick thinking. Whatever Severus has done, or may have to do in the future, is for the good of Hogwarts and the Order.
Enclosed you will find a key. It opens the door to the Cottage of Contentment, which will magically appear near the lake across the green from Hagrid’s cabin, as soon as you and Severus are reunited. It is my wedding gift to you both. I like to imagine you are there now, as you are about to turn the key in the lock. It gives me great pleasure in these last painful days, to think of the two of you together, as you were meant to be.
Please express to Minerva my apologies for my one last jest. I hope she took it in the spirit in which it was intended “ but I doubt that she did.”
An appreciative “Ha!” escaped from Lupin. McGonagall’s thin lips stretched a bit thinner.
“In case it slips Minerva’s mind, and I suspect that it might, I have instructed her to reinstate you as Hogwarts Choir Director, and rehire Severus as Potions master, assuming he wishes to resume his former position. You are both free to do as you choose, of course, but there will never be a finer potions-maker than Severus Snape. I would have succumbed from my injury by now, had he not brewed healing potions to keep me alive.
Minerva has also been instructed to grant you any request, within reason, to entice you to stay on, and once again fill Hogwarts’ halls with music “ a magic equal to any other form we teach here.
So, my dear Clancy, as your charming aunt would have doubtless advised, ‘Live your life “ and enjoy the ride! And a final thought: Salacia would make a lovely name for a daughter.
Yours most sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore
PS: Please express to Severus that, should he wish to resume his position as Potions master, I will expect him to go much easier on his students, now that his burden to serve the Order has been removed. But, understanding Severus’ nature as well as I do Minerva’s, I rather doubt that will happen, either.”
Sadly, Clancy folded the letter and tucked it into her pocket. She glanced up at the portrait, but at last, Dumbledore’s image had fallen asleep.
“Will you stay on with us, Clancy?” Minerva asked, with a glimmer of warmth in her voice.
“Not unless we can find Severus. I couldn’t bear to remain here without him.” Turning to Lupin, Clancy asked, “How will we ever find out if he’s alive or convince him to come back to the castle if he doesn’t know the Ministry has pardoned him?”
Lupin shook his head. “I don’t know. We’ve tried sending owls, and communicating by Patronus, but he hasn’t responded.”
McGonagall rose. “We’ll meet again tomorrow to discuss what further steps might be taken to locate him. In the meantime, Clancy, have you a request, magical or otherwise, that you would like me to fulfill?”
Thinking it over for a moment, she said, “Yes, as a matter of fact, I have. There’s one thing that’s always bothered me at Hogwarts, and I’d like to see it changed.”
“Muggle electricity won’t work in the castle, if that’s what you have in mind. The magical fields are too powerful and cause interference.”
“Oh, it’s nothing like that. I was wondering if you’d grant me permission to rewrite the school song. The one you’re using now is a disgrace: Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts “ aren’t you embarrassed to sing that? I know I am. And here’s a thought: How about if everyone sticks to the same tune “ just to see if they can?”
“She does have a point, Minerva,” Lupin agreed.
“Very well. If you can write a better song before the start-of-term feast, I will create a magical sing-along ribbon so the students can learn the words.”
“Fair enough.”
When Clancy entered her room, it felt as though she had never left. The house-elves had placed fresh linens on the bed and placed a bouquet of flowers on the table to welcome her.
“How nice,” she said to Remus. “Will you stay for a moment? I’m so eager to hear more about Tonks, and you still haven’t told me how you were cured of lycanthropy.”
After Lupin applied an Engorgement Charm to her luggage, he took a seat by the fire and began to tell Clancy the story of how he and Tonks had become engaged. While she listened, she unpacked a few items from the smallest bag. She gasped when she felt something metallic near the bottom.
“Remus! This is it! Why didn’t I think of this before?” She carried the object over to the fire to show it to Lupin.
“A bell?” he asked. He gave it a good shake before placing it down on the table.
“It’s the silent Summoning Bell Severus gave me one Christmas. He told me if I were ever in danger or had desperate need of him, to ring it, and wherever I was, anywhere in the world, he would hear it and come to me.” Picking it up from the table, she rang it as hard as she could.
In a dark corner of a pub, Snape sat alone, scowling down at his meager dinner. The clangor of a bell interrupted his brooding. Clancy? No, he decided. She’s rung it by accident, again. Unless…could Lupin have restored her memory? The ringing is coming from Hogwarts! They’ve turned her against me and brought her back to set a trap for me.
Returning to his room, Snape pulled the one-way mirror out of his bureau drawer. Clever lot, the Order. But if they think they can trick me, they’re mistaken. They don’t know about this mirror. Fools! Now I can spy on them and see what they’re up to. From now on, I intend to be fully in control. Nothing can possibly go wrong.
Gazing into the glass, Snape spat “Clancy,” and then watched angrily as her image appeared.
“Well, Remus,” Clancy said, “it didn’t work. I guess he’s not going to come.”
“I feared as much. But we’ll find him yet.”
“At least,” Clancy sighed, “we have the wedding to look forward to. It will be nice to have something happy to think about, for a change.”
“Yes. Have you any ideas about the honeymoon? I’d like to go somewhere special. I’m eager to please my future bride, you know.” Lupin smiled warmly at Clancy.
“Togetherness is more important than location. I’m sure whatever you decide upon will be fine. When two people are in love and destined to be together, that’s all that really matters.”
“Quite right,” Lupin agreed. “And just think -- we owe it all to Severus. If he hadn’t dreamed that ‘A brew lends pep, Prof.’ is an anagram for ‘Wolfsbane-Dr. Pepper’, I would never have thought to add it to the cauldron as an experiment. After he left, I found the formula in his office and learned to brew it myself. And with the vast supply of Diet Dr. Pepper in the storeroom, it was only a matter of time until I hit upon the right combination. Lucky for me you prefer the diet variety, or the sugar would have interfered.”
“But what makes it work?” Clancy asked. “Don’t get technical on me now. I don’t know a thing about potion-making.”
“Well,” Lupin tried to explained, “it’s not my field of magic, and I’m not that familiar with Muggle scientific terms that you might understand, but in essence, the molecules from the beverage stick to the lycanthic cells. It alters an inert protein causing changes in DNA transcription and translation, causing the lycanthic DNA to mutate and die.”
“I’m a musician. I’ll have to take your word for it.”
“Here’s something I haven’t shown you.” Reaching into his pocket, Lupin pulled out a small black case and handed it to Clancy.
Opening it, she drew in her breath. “An Order of Merlin, First Class! Remus! How wonderful!”
“In truth,” Lupin said, “this should have gone to Severus.”
“Oh, don’t be so modest! It’s Severus’ own fault for not caring enough to solve an anagram from his own dream. That’s what he gets for not taking an interest in our club.” Clancy glanced over at the bed. “It was nice of the house-elves to put on fresh bedding. I’ve had enough talking for one evening, if you don’t mind. I’m ready to turn in.”
“I think that’s an excellent idea.”
To blazes with the both of them! Snape fumed. She’s going to marry Lupin! Not only did he steal her away, but he received an Order of Merlin, First Class that should have been mine! MINE! That’s my reward for obeying Dumbledore and saving bleeding Potter!
He smashed his fist into the glass repeatedly, imagining it was Lupin’s simpering face. Blood oozing from his knuckles, he withdrew Aunt Hilly’s wand from his pocket. “Incendio!” he growled, aiming it at the mirror. Instead of producing flames, however, the erratic wand transfigured the mirror into a flamingo, which proceeded to pose on one leg, before releasing a generous amount of guano upon the carpet.
The next morning, McGonagall called a meeting in her office, and Clancy’s former colleagues greeted her affectionately.
“With the unfortunate demise of Professor Slughorn,” McGonagall began, “it is imperative that we locate Professor Snape. Hogwarts needs him, and he must be informed that Harry has testified on his behalf before the Wizengamot. I know many of us still have lingering suspicions about what transpired that night on the Astronomy Tower, and that some still question his true motivation, but as we may never have proof of his real intent, I feel it is time to “”
“Sourness incentive! Sourness incentive!” Dumbledore’s image shouted down from the frame.
McGonagall’s temper flared. “More anagrams, Albus? This really must stop!”
“Sourness Incentive! Sourness Incentive!”
“I’ll wager, Minerva,” Professor Flitwick said, “the portrait has resorted to communicating with anagrams to ensure that you would send for Clancy and include her in our efforts to locate Severus.”
Dumbledore applied his finger to the tip of his nose.
Exhaling with irritation, McGonagall excused the staff, with the exception of Clancy, Flitwick, and Lupin. She tapped her finger on the desk impatiently as they placed quill to parchment in an attempt to solve their former headmaster’s cryptic declaration.
An hour passed, and then another. McGonagall paced the room, stopping to peer anxiously over their shoulders as they tried to sort it out.
“Anything yet, Remus?”
“All I’ve found is ‘no niceness virtues’,” Lupin told her.
“Clancy?”
Clancy shook her head. “Nothing so far.”
“Filius?” McGonagall inquired hopefully. “Surely, as Head of Ravenclaw…”
“Venus! Sin! Erections!” he squeaked.
“I think not,” McGonagall said, moving away.
Flitwick shrugged apologetically.
They adjourned for lunch, and then returned, resolved to put in a long afternoon.
“SOURNESS INCENTIVE!” the portrait called once more.
“I need pumpkin juice.” Lupin laid down his quill, looking quite fatigued.
“That’s the correct number of letters, Remus,” Flitwick said, “but it’s not an anagram for ‘sourness incentive’.”
“I never suggested that it was. I’m merely thirsty for pumpkin juice.”
Two more hours slipped away. McGonagall glared out the window, tapping her foot.
“Nervous insistence,” Lupin contributed, at last discovering another anagram.
“You’d be edgy too, if you had to put up with this twaddle!” McGonagall stormed back to her desk.
“Now, Minerva,” Flitwick chirped, “don’t get your tartan in a twist.”
Lupin was beginning to doze. Flitwick was having trouble balancing atop his Watty’s Wee Wizarding Wear catalogs. McGonagall assumed her feline form and began hissing at Dumbledore’s portrait.
“I KNEW IT!” Clancy cried suddenly, slamming her quill down against the table. “Anagrams never lie! I’ve solved it! ‘Sourness incentive’ is an anagram for ‘Severus is innocent’!”
Flitwick and Lupin studied her findings and confirmed that she was correct.
“Look!” Lupin said. “Look up at the portrait! Albus is touching his nose again!”
“What do you have to say now, Minerva?” Clancy crowed.
Resuming her human appearance, McGonagall smiled. “I’m greatly relieved. And I trust, Albus,” she said, turning to address the portrait, “that this will be the last of your anagrams?”
“For the time being, Minerva.” Closing his eyes, Dumbledore beamed and leaned back in his chair to enjoy a peaceful slumber.
As the weeks passed, Clancy lost hope of ever finding Snape. She rang the bell faithfully every night before she went to sleep, and again, upon awakening. McGonagall began to interview applicants to teach Potions, which depressed Clancy further. Lupin and Tonks had eloped, keen to wed before start-of-term, and were currently on their honeymoon. Clancy was left alone.
One afternoon, Hagrid invited her to tea and surprised her by taking her into the Forbidden Forrest to meet an old friend. He led her to the foot of a gnarled tree, and a small, furry creature poked its head out of the ground.
“Glutgut!”
“Lassie!” he called, scurrying out from his lair. “You’re looking fit. A mite unhappy, though,” the Jarvey observed. “I thought you’d forgotten me! I’ve missed you, lassie.”
“I’m afraid I forgot everything for a few years, so please don’t take it personally.”
Glutgut, acting the proud papa, showed off his brood and introduced Clancy to his missus. She was surprised to learn from Hagrid that the Jarvey had played a crucial part in Voldemort’s defeat and had been awarded an Order of Merlin, Third Class “ the first magical creature to ever receive such an honor.
“Aye,” Glutgut recalled. “Your dark laddie was on the ground, and a Death Eater had blasted his wand clean away from him. It flew underneath this very tree. I waited for my chance and I gripped the wand between my teeth and sneaked over to return it to him. He looked beaten, as if he’d given up and was waiting to die. ‘Get up and fight, laddie!’ I said. ‘Do it for your Choir lass! You can beat ‘em by a nose!’”
“Tha’s how it was, all right,” Hagrid confirmed. “After Harry woke up and told us what happened, he said he saw what Glutgut had done. If Glutgut hadn’a fetched Professor Snape’s wand back to him, Professor Snape couldn’a done the jinx to knock You Know Who off balance while he was aimin’ Killin’ Curses at Harry.” Hagrid sniffed back a tear. “Great man, Professor Snape. Great man. An’ I’m proud o’ Glutgut too, ‘course.”
An owl came for Clancy from Rhonda via the Leaky Cauldron. She had written to Rhonda to tell her that she had arrived back at Hogwarts safely, but that Snape was missing. Rhonda sent her a brief note of encouragement telling her not to give up, but Clancy had reached the point where she had to make a decision. The new term would be starting in a few days. Without Snape, she decided, there would be no point in her remaining. That evening, she spoke to Professor Flitwick in the staffroom.
“I understand perfectly, Clancy,” Flitwick told her. “But if you’ve made the decision to leave, I won’t try to dissuade you “ but you will be missed.”
“I’ve rung the Summoning Bell twice daily since I’ve returned. I can’t keep doing it any longer. I know if Severus were alive he’d come to me. Perhaps he really is…”
“Courage, my dear.”
“No, I’m afraid I’d better go home. But before I do, there’s a place I’d like to visit again “ a place where Severus and I were once happy together. Funny,” she realized sadly. “I don’t even know where the village is. We arrived there in a flying sleigh on Hogmanay. I doubt I could ever find it again.”
“Can you describe it? If it’s not too far from the castle, perhaps I’ve heard of it.”
“It was snowing. The High Street was packed with revelers. There was a boarding stable on one of the side streets, and I saw a train station nearby. I remember hearing church bells pealing at midnight. There was a pub “ the Kilty Pleasures. It never occurred to either of us to ask the name of the village.”
“From your description, it sounds to me like you might be thinking of Ordfa Gloamin,” Flitwick said. “That’s the only Muggle village I can recall that’s near to the castle.”
“It’s impossible to say how far we traveled that night. At one point, we were flying around in circles. Then, when were returning to Hogwarts, it was snowing so hard, we could barely find our way back.”
“I could take you there, if you’d like.”
“Filius “ would you? But how?”
“I can fashion a Portkey. I understand from Remus that you weathered your first Portkey excursion well enough.”
“Barely. But I have some motion sickness pills with me that I bought at the airport while we were waiting for our flight.”
“All right, then. You leave the Portkey to me, and when you’re packed and ready, let me know.” Flitwick regarded her dejectedly. “But I do wish you’d reconsider.”
The next day, they were off. Flitwick had created a Portkey from a fez that the late Professor Slughorn had left behind in his office. Arriving on the outskirts of the village near the train station, Clancy looked around.
“Filius! I think this is it! I see a church tower, and look,” she said, pointing toward a stable in the distance. “I’m almost sure that’s where we boarded the flying horse that night.”
“Shall I stay with you just to make certain?”
“No, no. I can take it from here. If I’m mistaken, I’ll just walk back to the station and catch a train to London. Will you please remind Minerva to debut the school song I wrote at the start-of-term feast?”
“Yes, Clancy. I’ll lead it off myself.”
“Thank you, Filius. Scabby knees, dead flies, brains filling with rot…what kind of lyrics are those, anyway?”
Flitwick enlarged her luggage, and levitated himself off the ground to kiss her on the cheek. “Goodbye, my dear.” Dabbing his eyes with his handkerchief, he Disapparated, leaving Clancy holding the fez.
“Lousy, old-fashioned Wizarding luggage!” Clancy griped as she lugged her three bags along the high street. She placed the fez on her head to avoid the inconvenience of having to open her bags. “At least Muggle luggage comes with wheels!”
In the quiet village of Ordfa Gloamin at midday, she created quite a stir, striding along toting bright teal baggage while attempting to blow a fez tassel out of her eye.
She stopped when she noticed a two-story stone building. “This is it!” she said, noting the sign above the door. Entering the pub, the landlord helped her with her bags and set them by the foot of the stairs before escorting her to a table.
“You’re not the same owner that I remember from a few years ago,” Clancy told the man.
“No, miss. My wife and I bought Kilty Pleasures in ‘96, but we’ve kept it looking much the same.”
“Yes,” she sighed, “it’s just as I remember it. By any chance…would room Number Seven be available?”
The landlord shook his head. “No, sorry. There’s a gent who requests the room every time he passes through this way, but I can let you have Number Five. It’s the same as Number Seven. All the rooms are fairly alike.”
“That will be fine. I’ll only be staying one night. Have you a train schedule?”
“When you register, you’ll find one at the desk.”
As the landlord headed to the bar, Clancy held up the menu in front of her face to peruse the luncheon fare, trying to decide if it was worth the trouble to order anything. The motion sickness pills had begun to make her a bit drowsy, and she was eager to rest.
A man entered and brushed past her table on the way to the stairs, nearly tripping over Clancy’s luggage. Scowling down at the bags, bile swelled in his throat. What’s she doing here? He noted the tags fastened to the handles. C.N.L. “ Clancy Norgard…LUPIN! She’s married him! I’ll curse them with boils! How dare they come here on their honeymoon!
He took the stairs three at a time, keen to plot his revenge.
Clancy placed the menu on the table, deciding against having lunch. Instead, she went to the bar to order tea, and overheard a conversation between the proprietors.
“Did you see the way he tore through here?” the landlady complained. “There’s something funny about him “ always keeping to himself. Mighty suspicious, if you ask me.”
“Well, I didn’t ask you, so shut it. Man’s gotta right to some privacy if he wants it, doesn’t he?”
“He’s up to something “ always keeping the ‘Do not disturb’ sign out. Sourest looking face I ever saw on a man. Odd, him being a magician. Binnie says she saw his act and he looked like he couldn’t wait to get off the stage.”
Clancy’s stomach did a flip flop. As the barman served her tea, she asked him to send the landlord over.
“I was wondering,” she asked when he arrived, “if the magician you and your wife were just discussing would happen to be the man who’s in Number Seven.”
“That’s the one.”
“Is he…dark-haired and rather pale?”
“That’d be him. You know him?”
“Is his name the Great Snapini?” Clancy held her breath, praying that it was Snape.
“No…must be a different fellow you’re thinking of. This one calls himself Mr. Lamb.”
Sipping her tea, Clancy abandoned hope. After a good night’s sleep, she’d catch the train to London, book a flight at Heathrow, and bury Hogwarts and Snape in the past forever. Her future passed before her eyes, beckoning toward smog and potato salad.
Signing the register, she saw the magician’s name scrawled a few lines above her own “ E. Lamb.
E. Lamb. An anagram for “blame”. I blame myself and Aunt Hilly for starting all this madness in the first place. She glanced at the name again. E. Lamb…even the handwriting looks like Severus’. E. Lamb… she kept repeating to herself.
As soon as she entered her room, she sat on the bed, still ruminating over the name in the register. She relaxed for a moment, deep in thought, and then rose abruptly.
“E. Lamb. Severus’s anagram dream! He dreamed that ‘Ellis Lamb’ was an anagram for ‘slimeball’! It must be Severus…it has to be!”
Clancy darted into the passage, inhaled a deep breath, and rapped on the door of Room Number Seven.
“Lucky Room Number Seven…please, oh please…be lucky for me,” she whispered.
The door opened a crack.
“Yes?” a voice hissed from the other side.
“Severus?”
The door opened wider. A pair of angry black eyes glared out at her.
“Allow me to extend to you my best wishes…Mrs. Lupin.”
Overwhelmed by happiness, Snape’s comment failed to reach her ears. Clancy barreled in the door and flew into his arms, but he pushed her away.
“I am not in the habit of kissing other men’s wives.”
“I…I…don’t understand. What are you talking about? Severus “ aren’t you happy to see me?”
“Should I be? I thought I was well rid of you. Why did you come here? Did Lupin imagine he could take you on a honeymoon and capture the Wizarding world’s most wanted murderer at the same time? Send him to me, if you dare, and we’ll see which of us survives.”
“Remus isn’t here. He’s on his honeymoon with Tonks. I still don’t know what you’re taking about.”
Snape allowed himself to study her face. She looked sincere. He noted the involuntary chin quivering and the questioning expression in her eyes.
“You’re…not married to Lupin?”
“Me, married to Remus? What would lead you to believe that? I’ve been ringing the Summoning Bell every day and night. Why didn’t you hear it and come to me?”
“I heard it. It’s a trap. The Order is using you to get to me. They’ve told you that they believe I’m innocent, so you’d ring the bell and I’d return to Hogwarts. Then they’ll cheer as I’m given the Dementor’s Kiss. Why are you here?” Snape demanded. “How did you know where to find me?”
“I didn’t know where to find you. I was planning to go back to Pasadena. I was…we were…happy here once. I wanted to see the Kilty Pleasures again before I left.”
“If you’re not married to Lupin, what does C.N.L. represent on your luggage tags?”
“Amy, my friend Rhonda’s daughter, made those for me. It stands for ‘Clancy Norgard’s Luggage’. That’s all.” Clancy tried again to approach him, but Snape was still wary. “Severus “ your name has been cleared. I don’t know all the details, but from what I understand, Harry Potter testified before the Wizengamot that you saved his life. And Albus’ portrait spoke to us in an anagram and gave proof that he believed in you.”
“His…portrait said that?” Snape relaxed his guard a bit.
“Yes. And that’s why the clues were in anagrams “ so Minerva would agree to send Remus to restore my memory and bring me back to the castle. Remus returned me to Hogwarts to be with you “ not with him.”
“Lupin,” he snarled. “Now he has an Order of Merlin, First Class that should have been mine! I’m the one who perfected Belby’s Wolfsbane Potion! I found the anagram cure in my dream! His Order of Merlin belongs rightfully to me!”
“Yes, but you were too arrogant to try and solve it. You’ve always belittled anagrams. How did you hear about that, anyway, if you’ve been in hiding?”
“Never mind.”
Snape strode over to the fire to sulk, turning away from Clancy. She came up behind him and touched his back.
“Severus “ I’ve missed you so much. I was afraid we’d never find each other again.” Clancy tugged gently on his arm, until at last, he turned to face her.
“You’d best forget about me and return to your own world -- and leave me to mine.”
“Come off it! Your world, my world “ what rubbish! We’re not as different as you’d like to have me believe…my Half-Blood Prince.”
“How do you know about that?”
“Well, I’ve always known Aunt Hilly’s maiden name was Prince, but Remus mentioned something to me about an old Potions book of yours that turned up. There’s no shame in having a Muggle for a father that I can see.”
“The title was written in the book as a joke “ a constant, nagging reminder of my parentage.”
“Why is it, Severus, that you’ve spent your life focused on the small, unimportant things? You’ve lost sight of what really matters.” Clancy placed her arms around his neck, and this time, he did not pull away.
“How can you still want me after all that’s happened?”
“It’s nothing I can put into words, but “”
Snape pulled her close and kissed her. As the minutes of their ecstasy ticked by, their knees buckled from bliss.
“Clancy,” he whispered lovingly into the sweet softness of her hair. “There’s one thing I must know.” His tongue idled near her temple.
“Yes, darling?” Her breath caught, as he transferred his mouth to the rim of her ear.
“Why…are you…wearing a fez?”
“Don’t talk “ keep tonguing,” she demanded. “It’s not a fez…it’s a…aah…Port…oohh…P-P-Portkey.”
“What would you be doing with a Portkey?” Snape managed between neck nibbles.
“Fil-Fil-Filius used it to…to…bring me…uh…”
Snape decided the information could wait and he cut her off with a kiss.
“Steppies?” she begged, when at last she could breathe.
“Steppies,” he panted.
Clancy climbed atop Snape’s boots and held on tight as he marched the both of them lock legged toward the bed.
After several hours of enthusiastic nonverbal communication, Clancy wriggled out of Snape’s arms to visit the bathroom. “Aaaacchhh!” she screamed, shutting the door and leaping back into bed.
“A spider in the sink?”
“A spider I can handle “ but you might have warned me about the flamingo in the bathtub!”
“That’s not a flamingo “ it’s a one-way mirror.”
“Do one-way mirrors come bedecked with pink feathers, standing on one leg?”
“It was a spell that went wrong. It was a gift from Dumbledore and I can’t bring myself to part with it. When it was a mirror, I lost my temper and wanted to destroy it, but when it transfigured into a flamingo, it peered down its beak at me “ just as the headmaster used to do over the top of his spectacles. I’ve been using Aunt Hilly’s wand. It’s the only one I have at present. I’ve been living as a Muggle, and performing as a magician to earn a living. I’ve been keeping to the smaller towns, and staying away from Wizarding communities for fear of being captured.”
“Can’t you change it back into a mirror?”
“Believe me, I’ve tried. That wand is a menace. No spell or transfiguration I’ve ever performed with it has come out quite right.”
“That reminds me,” Clancy said, her conscience starting to bother her. “The two of us are responsible, indirectly, for a murder.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s been the talk of the school all summer. Professor Slughorn is dead.”
“Slughorn? Dead? What has that to do with us?”
“The Daily Prophet reported that he succumbed to food poisoning from ingesting a tainted pineapple.”
“He’d been suffering with gout for years. He had a passion for pineapples “ fresh and crystallized. I still fail to see what that has to do with us.”
“He died in…Wales.”
“You mean…”
“Yes, Severus. He ate our pineapple.” Snape and Clancy inclined their heads dolefully.
“Then you’ve been wearing a dead man’s fez,” Snape observed.
“Yes, it would seem so. But we can still use it to return to Hogwarts.”
“Why would I want to return to the castle?”
“Because Albus wrote me a letter. He wanted you to teach Potions again. Now that Slughorn has passed on, there’s a vacancy.”
“Return to Hogwarts? Never.”
“But you must! You’re needed! And there’s another reason too, for you to come back,” Clancy informed him. “Albus left me a key to something called the Cottage of Contention.”
“Contentment,” Snape corrected.
“Well, with us, one can never be too sure. But as I was saying, Albus left it to us as a wedding present.”
“A WHAT?”
“You heard me “ a wedding present.”
“I…er…I…believe it’s time for dinner.” Snape shot out of bed and began to dress. Clancy threw a pillow at him and proceeded to the bathroom.
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