by Stan Shunpike
Take a ride on the Knight bus,
it’ll get you from here to there.
And all the other destinations for which you don’t care.
Now come up the stairs and sit down in a chair.
Take care because when the bus hits a sharp curve,
you may fly into the air.
With a ZIP! and a BUMP!
We’ll stop right
at Madame Marsh’s swamp.
She’s always a bit green,
and gets queasy from too much motion,
so we make sure our pace is quite serene.
Now a swerve and sudden halt,
and the bus has jumped from bog
to Gringotts Vault.
Make sure you collect you galleons in a rush,
because the speed of those Goblin carts has nothing
on the speedy Knight bus.
With a SCREECH! and a lurch
the bus has leapt from bank
to a moldy old birch.
We’ll collect another passenger
and they’re going to a have a lovely ride
because on the Knight bus you always get more than you wager.
Me and Ern keep the conversation flowing as smoothly as gravy
even though Ern’s driving skills
appear to be a little bit hazy.
A few more bumps and a close collision with an old dear
and you can get off
to have your much-needed butter beer.
Now despite this peaceful ride,
ol’ Marsh is already retching,
so we’d better get her to the old doctor that’s one-eyed.
Another skip and an unpleasant squelch
as the bus squeezes past
some unhappy Welsh.
What? You want to leave? Are you already so weary?
We’ll have to give a fun ride home,
so you won’t look so dreary.
With a twist and a turn and near miss,
we'll drop you off
at the destination you wish.
Now whenever your lost or travel weary and ready to rust,
you can always stick out your wand arm,
and catch the Knight Bus!