Disclaimer: As I’ve stated before, I’m Hallie. Not J. K. Rowling. As a consequence of this, I own nothing except the plot and a couple of OC’s. Is that clear?
A/N: Okay this fanfic is really stupid. I got an inspiration for it last night and began writing. Funny how the weirdest fics are always written at night. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!!! I BEG OF YOU!!
When Harry Potter woke up on that dull Tuesday morning, he immediately knew something was wrong. He didn’t know how he knew that, but he did. Maybe the fact that the small, circular room that had always been his dormitory was now a bright shade of magenta or that Dean Thomas, on the bed to his left, was singing ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ at the top of his lungs (when it was still the 3rd of October) sort of gave it away, but Harry had not needed all these signs to realize something was wrong, because he had a knack for finding trouble.
“Ron,” he hissed at the redheaded boy who was still snoring quietly in his four-poster. “Ron! For Merlin’s beard, wake up!”
“Hmm?” asked Ron, sleepily.
“Ron, wake up, something creepy’s definitely going on here…” answered Harry seriously.
Ron was immediately wide awake and up on his bed. “Does this have to do with… You-Know-Who?”
“Maybe. I’m not sure yet. Although,” he frowned, “now that you mention it, it must be Lord Voldemort,” (Ron flinched, even if, after six years of knowing Harry, he should have gotten over it by now) “because, honestly, who else would cause mayhem here?”
Ron stared at him skeptically. “My brothers?”
“Oh… yeah.” Harry stared at his mate, confused. “No, no, hold on a sec. Your brothers left school last year!” He grinned smugly. “What do you say to that, huh?”
It was Ron’s turn to stare. “Oh, and do you honestly think that running away from school would stop them turning up for some chaos?”
“Fair point. Well, then, what do you think, Ron? Who do you reckon is behind all this madness?”
The redhead rolled his eyes. “What madness are you referring to, anyway? If it is about Dean singing Christmas carols in October, then it’s nothing to worry about… he just got into the way of one of Ginny’s Memory Charms.”
Harry goggled at him. “Why would your baby sister want to put Memory Charms on people?”
“You don’t know Ginny. Anyway, she just wanted to make Dean forget about that whole ‘being possessed by You-Know-Who’ thing, since, you know, they were dating. Only she got a bit overexcited and hexed him into oblivion. Now the poor fellow doesn’t even know his own name, let alone what time of the year it is.”
“Oh. That explains a great deal. But what about our dormitory? Why is everything now a violent shade of magenta?” asked Harry. “Don’t tell me your sister””
“What? Oh no, that’s got nothing to do with Ginny. I suppose,” said Ron thoughtfully, “that this is just Mary Sue’s revenge for having ignored her for the past six years…”
Harry was very confused now. “Mary Sue? Who’s Mary Sue?”
“Come on, you know. Mary Sue Bloomwood. One of the two unidentified Gryffindor girls. She and her best friend, Emma Connors… We’ve practically snubbed them ever since we came to this school…” said Ron.
The Boy Who Lived stared. “I never knew there were two Gryffindor girls called Mary Sue and Emma. I don’t recall them being in any of our classes, nor in the common room, Quidditch Team, or house table for that matter.”
“You’re quite wrong on that, mate. They were in one Defense Against the Dark Arts class back in third year with professor Lupin. Remember, that time with the boggart?” Ron involuntarily shivered at the thought. On that occasion, he had to confront a giant, six legged spider.
“Oh. Right,” said Harry. “Well, I’m hungry. Wanna go down for some breakfast?”
“Sure,” answered Ron.
Little did they know that something was indeed wrong at Hogwarts. And that they would soon be finding out what.
As the two friends sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall that morning, Harry poked Ron in the ribs (a bit more forcefully than intended).
“Ouch! What?” asked Ron, annoyed.
“Who are they? Could you point them out to me?” asked Harry, clearly uncomfortable. He felt very awkward about the fact that he had, up to that day, fully ignored the existence of two girls who, apparently, had been around him for over five years.
Ron stared at him as if he were mad. “Su-re… If you’re sure you don’t remember them, there they are… See them? There… on Parvati’s left… the short one is Emma, and the gorgeous, tall blonde is Mary Sue.”
Harry glanced at the short brunette Ron had pointed to first, then followed his gaze and looked at the girl sitting next to her. He goggled. Mary Sue Bloomwood was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid his eyes upon. Tall and slender, she had round, blue eyes, a small nose and long blond hair that fell elegantly to her waist. At that moment the girl stood up, and Harry’s eyes traveled down her slender figure, resting for a second on her well manicured hands and… um… the perfect curves on her front. “Wow…” he whispered. “How the heck could I not have noticed her?” He was sure he had never seen that goddess before, otherwise he wouldn’t have spent so much time on Cho Chang (who, compared to Mary Sue, looked like a chipmunk).
Ron shrugged. “Don’t ask, mate. She’s sort of hard to miss, isn’t she?”
“Yeah,” agreed Harry.
“I dunno. Everything’s possible in Hogwarts…” said Ron thoughtfully. “Maybe it’s got to do with the fact that this isn’t real life but it’s just a silly fanfiction… probably not even the best fanfic ever written, actually…”
Harry stared. “What did you just say?”
Ron’s face (and his ears) turned suddenly very red, the perfect shade to match his hair. “Never mind, forget that. Um, yeah… so, uh, we were saying?”
“Whatever. Let’s just go to class, shall we?” asked Harry, nonplussed.
“Yeah.”
A/N: Okay, first chapter’s done. I hope you’ve liked the story so far and I promise a lot of laughs in the chapters to come.