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RON: I’m guessing a Slytherin didn’t write this book.
HARRY: Yep.
RON: What’s the next story??
HARRY: Oh, NOW you want to read on?
RON: *Takes the book* I’ll read this one. It’s...
Liked Christmas a lot. But the Snape,
Who lived inside of Hogwarts,
Did NOT.
The Snape HATED Christmas!
The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why,
No one quite knows the reason.
It could be, perhaps,
His brain wasn’t quite right.
It COULD be, perhaps,
That his cloak was too tight.
But I think that the most
Likely reason of all
May have been that his heart
Was too sizes too small.
But whatever the reason,
His heart or his cape,
He stood on Christmas Eve,
Hating, that Snape.
Hating all of those kids
With a mean, Snapey face
At the warm lighted houses
In this Hogwarts place.
For he knew, every kid
Up in Hogwarts above,
Was busy now, hanging
decorations with love.
“And they’re hanging their stockings!”
He snarled with a sneer,
“Tomorrow is Christmas!
It’s practically here!”
Then he growled,
With his long fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way
to stop Christmas from coming!”
For tomorrow, he knew…
...All the girls and boys
Would wake bright and early.
They'd rush for
their toys! And then!
Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated!
The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then everyone, young and old,
would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on Plum Pudding
And the rare Magic Beast
Which was something the Snape
Couldn’t stand in the least!
And THEN they’d do something
He liked least of all!
Every kid up at Hogwarts,
The tall and the small,
Would stand close together,
With Christmas bells ringing.
They’d stand hand in hand.
And the kids would start singing!
They’d sing!
And they’d sing!
And they’d SING! SING!
SING! SING!
And the more the Snape thought
of this Kid-Christmas-Sing,
The more the Snape thought,
“I must stop is whole thing!”
“Why, for 20-some years
I’ve put up with it now!”
“I MUST stop This Christmas from coming!
But how?”
Then he got an idea.
An AWFUL idea.
The Snape got a
WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!"
The Snape laughed in his throat.
And he conjured
a Santa Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked,
“What a great Snapey trick!
With this coat and this hat,
I look just like Saint Nick!”
“All I need is a reindeer…”
The Snape looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce,
There was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Snape?
No! The Snape simply said,
“If I can’t FIND a reindeer,
I’ll MAKE one instead!”
So he got some ingredients
And made up a potion.
In a flash, came a reindeer
With a flying notion.
THEN he loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
And hitched up the reindeer
Which he had named Max.
Then the Snape said, “Giddap!”
And the sleigh started up
Toward the houses where the kids
lay a-snooze after sup.
All their windows were dark.
Quiet snow filled the air.
All the kids were all dreaming
sweet dreams without care.
And he came to the first
Hogwarts house on his list.
And he snuck on inside,
empty bags in his fist.
The Snape snuck to
The stockings,
All hung in a row.
“These stockings,” he grinned,
Are the first things to go!
Then he slithered and slunk
With a smile most unpleasant
And around the whole room,
He took every present!
Every-flavor beans!
Best-Chewing gum!
A green Weasley sweater!
And then some!
Then the Snape,
Very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags
Out the common room entry!
Then he slunk to the kitchens.
He took the kids’ feast!
He took the kids’ pudding!
He took the magic beast!
He cleaned out the kitchens
As quick as a flash.
Why, that Snape even took
The last can of hash!
Then he stuffed all the food
Outside with great glee.
“And NOW!” grinned the Snape,
“I will take out the tree!”
And the Snape grabbed the tree,
And he started to shove
When he heard a small sound
Like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast,
And he saw a small elf!
T’was big-eyed Dobby
Getting a snack for himself.
The Snape had been caught
By this little house elf
That was getting
Some food for itself.
He stared at the Snape
And said “Why Santy Claus, why,
“Why is you taking our
Christmas tree? WHY?”
But you know, that old Snape
Was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie,
And he thought it up quick!
“Why, my kind little elf,”
The fake Santa Claus lied,
“There’s a light on this tree
That won’t light on one side!”
“So I’m taking it home
to my workshop my friend,
And fixing it up
I’ll bring it back…in the end.”
And his fib fooled the elf.
Then he patted it’s head,
And he got it a snack
And he sent it to bed.
And when Dobby the elf
Went to bed with his snack,
HE went to the exit
And stole the tree back!
Then the LAST thing he took was the log for their fire!
Then he went out the door, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing
But some hooks and some wire.
Then he did the same thing
For the OTHER Hogwarts houses!
Taking everything Christmassy
From festive toys to blouses.
It was a quarter past dawn,
All the kids, still a-bed,
All the kids, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled.
Packed it up with their presents!
The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel!
The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up!
Over the Hogwarts lake
He road with his load
To get rid of this ache.
“Pooh-Pooh to the kids!”
He was Snape-ish-ly humming.
They’re finding out now
That no Christmas is coming!
“They’re just waking up! I know JUST what they’ll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two.
Then the kids down at Hogwarts
Will all cry ‘Boo Hoo!’”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Snape,
“That I simply MUST hear!
So he paused. And the Snape
Put his hand to his ear.
And he DID hear a sound
Rising over the snow.
It started in low.
Then it started to grow…
But the sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded MERRY!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERRY!
He stared down at Hogwarts!
The Snape popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw
Was a shocking surprise!
Every kid down at Hogwarts
The tall and the small,
Was singing! Without
Any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped
Christmas from coming!
It CAME! Somehow or other,
It came just the same!
And the Snape, with his Snape-feet
ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling:
“How could it be so?”
“It came without ribbons!
It came without tags!
It came without packages
Boxes or bags!”
And he puzzled three hours,
Till his puzzler was sore.
THEN the Snape thought of something
He hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought,
“Doesn’t come from a store.
Maybe Christmas…perhaps…
Means a little bit more!”
And what happened THEN?
Well, at Hogwarts they say
That the Snape’s small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart
Didn’t feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load
Through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys!
And the food for the feast!
And he…he himself!
The Snape...carved the magic beast!
THE END