Abundances
“I love you too much to see you leave.
I love you too much to imagine life without you.”
Rae Leverance “One More Time”
Remus took a seat at the Gryffindor table, in between Sirius and James, and across from Hermione. He avoided her eyes as he spooned eggs on his plate.
“Had a late night, Moony?” Sirius asked, giving his friend a smile and a wink.
“Yeah, you got in late last night,” James added.
Remus didn’t answer. He just started to eat his breakfast, trying his hardest to ignore his friends and the look from Hermione.
“So?”
Remus snapped his head up to look at James. He was still chewing his food, so he gave James a look of question.
“What kept you last night?” James asked. He looked at his friend with a glint of mischief in his eyes.
“What’s it to you?” Remus retorted.
“Down boy. I was just asking a naïve question,” James said, putting on an innocent face.
“Naïve my arse,” Remus stated. He got up from the table and walked out of the Great Hall.
His friends watched him leave and turned to look at each other. James gave Sirius a questioning look, but only received a shrug. They both seemed to be communicating telepathically, when they both looked at Hermione, who was in conversation with Lily Evans, the Head Girl. Both girls stopped talking and looked at the two boys.
“What?” Lily asked, annoyed that they were interrupting her conversation with the new girl.
“Not you, Lily,” Sirius answered.
“Her,” James said, pointing at Hermione. Both boys fixed their eyes on the brown-haired girl.
Hermione returned the look. She didn’t want to know what the two boys wanted or were thinking. She knew how her two best friends were, and she knew what kind of teenagers Sirius Black and James Potter were “back in the day”.
“What?” Hermione asked, slightly annoyed by the two. She looked at Lily, asking silently if she knew what they were playing at. Lily just shrugged, just as lost as she was. Hermione looked back the two boys who were still looking at her with wide eyes.
“If you two are going to gape at me, and you’re not going to tell me what you want, then I see no reason for me to sit here any longer,” Hermione snapped. She was about to get up from the table, when James called her back down.
“Sorry,” James said, “but please, just sit down.”
Hermione gave James a skeptical look. He seems so innocent. Now I know where Harry gets it from, Hermione thought.
She sat back down and waited impatiently for James to talk. Sirius smiled and leaned over the table, closing the space between him and Hermione. She felt a little uncomfortable, but this was Sirius that was doing this. He was always in Snape’s face when they talked, just to be intimidating.
She scoffed. He doesn’t know whom he’s dealing with, she thought.
“What’s so funny?” Sirius asked, a smile playing on his lips. Hermione was able feel his breath on her face.
Hermione saw a glint of mischief in his eyes, and she shook her head. “Mr. Black, if you would kindly back up and give me my personal space,” Hermione said, putting her hand in front of his face. “Besides, you have dog breath.” She smirked at Sirius as he sat back down in his seat with his eyes wide. He looked at James, who in return just started at Hermione.
Hermione rolled her eyes and said, “Oh, come off it you two. I told you that I knew all about you back in my...” Hermione was cut off short as she glace at Lily then finished, “...back where I’m from.”
James shook his head and said, “Er---we were going to ask you if you knew what was up with our friend Remus, considering that you were with him last night.” He looked at her long and hard, trying to be intimidating.
Hermione got up from the table, angry. “As of matter of fact, I do. And it’s you two.” She stormed out of the Great Hall hoping to find Remus.
Tears slid down her face. She was fighting an inner battle, with her heart and mind. She knew that she had to go back to her time, where Harry and Ron were...where her family was. But she actually felt safe right there in Remus’ arms as she cried. She didn’t have to worry about the war that was going on back in her time; she didn’t have to worry about the pain, the despair, and the obliteration. She tried to force herself to stay strong, to put on a face that didn’t show fear and anger.
She was fearful that she wouldn’t be able to get back to her time; fearful that she won’t get to see Harry or Ron or her parents ever again. She was actually starting to miss her roommates, Lavender and Parvati.
She was angry for the same reasons she was fearful. But yet, she was angry at the fact that she was with her DADA professor, whom she had a crush on, twenty years in the past; in his arms, crying her eyes out over something that already happened and couldn’t change.
Remus’ fingers running through her hair and the kind words that he was whispering in her ear interrupted her thoughts. Her body started to relax into his, and her mind started to become heavy with fatigue. She knew it has to be late, but she didn’t know how late it really was.
Hermione pulled away from Remus slowly, making sure he wasn’t going to get the wrong idea.
Wrong idea of what? Granger, pull it together. This isn’t your world, and you can’t be falling in love with your DADA teacher...
‘Who is simply twenty years younger and has a gorgeous smile and---’
Don’t go there Granger.
‘Would you two shut up?’ Hermione cursed her sense of right and wrong.
“Are you okay Hermione?” Remus asked. His eyes are full of concern.
Tell him you’re fine.
‘But she’s not. She’s crying and she can’t just lie and say she’s fine.’
Yes she can. She does it with her Harry and Ron.
“But he’s not Harry or Ron,” Hermione said, not knowing the words escaped her lips.
“What was that Hermione?” Remus asked.
Hermione looked up at Remus, tears threatening her eyes again. She quickly looked away as a tear slid down her cheek, hoping that Remus wouldn’t see.
But she forgot how bright the moon shown that night, and Remus got a glimpse of the tear. He leaned over and brushed it away with his thumb. Hermione grabbed his hand and looked Remus in the eyes.
“I think I better get some sleep. You should too. You have classes tomorrow, and I think I should talk to Dumbledore,” Hermione said softly.
Remus nodded solemnly, got up from the ground, and held out his hand. Hermione smiled feebly and took his hand. He pulled her gently up off the ground and they walked back to the castle in silence.
Hermione walked through the portrait hole and looked around the common room, hoping to see Remus. There he was sitting in an armchair with his nose in a book. She walked over to him and sat down on the couch.
“You know, you have classes in twenty minutes,” she said quietly.
“Yeah,” Remus answered, not looking up from his book.
“Your friends care...in their own weird little way.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Hermione looked at him, unsure what to say next. He didn’t even look up once from his book, Hermione thought. She looked down at her hands that were resting in her lap. She turned her wrist so she could read her watch.
“Well, I guess I better go and find Dumbledore and see what he can do to help,” she said more to herself, but Remus heard her.
“I hope he can help,” he said, looking up from his book.
Hermione smiled halfheartedly. “You know, James and Sirius are nothing but little kids. I don’t know why you got upset with them. You could have just told them truth. Or were you embarrassed to be with me?” She got up from the couch, and started to make her way towards the portrait hole. She was stopped by Remus’ voice.
“I wasn’t embarrassed. You’re a very pretty girl, and I didn’t want Sirius and James to be on my case about it. You don’t know them like I do.”
Hermione smiled and walked out into the corridor.