Suspicious
“Suspicion,
Walks over to me.”
Rae Lefrenz “ “Suspicion”
Hermione pushed away from Remus wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Remus looked at her confused on why she would pull away from him, when he was only trying to comfort her.
“Don’t give me that look,” Hermione said, hugging herself. She walked over to the bookshelf and leaned against it. She crossed her left leg in front of the right and gave a heavy sigh. “You know where this got us last time.”
“Hermione...”
“No Remus. You’re a nice guy, and really sweet. I just can’t hurt you like this. You know, as well as I, that I have to go back. And back there, it would be awkward with us.” She gave a weak smile. “Honestly, I wish I could be with you. You are the nicest guy that I have met here, and I really like, as a friend. Well, maybe more. No! Only as a friend, nothing more,” Hermione finished with her hands up to her face and taking deep breaths.
Remus was hurt by what she said. She admitted liking him, and he liked her also. But they both knew that it wasn’t possible for them to be together. It was against the rules. If they ever got together, who knows the happiness or torment it would cause in the future. Remus felt awkward standing there while she was crying softly in her hands. What was he suppose to do? If he walked over there to console her, things would happen that won’t be that good. Well, not well in the situation that they were in, but if they weren’t in it, he would go over there and hold her close. He sighed and ran his hand through his wavy, sandy colored hair. He sat back down on the chair’s arm and looked at Hermione.
Hermione took a ragged breath and brought her hands down from her face. She looked over at Remus. “Remus, I didn’t really mean what I said. It’s just that we both know that this can’t happen between us.” She motioned her hand to Remus then to her. She pushed off the bookshelf and walked towards Remus. She stood in front of him and took his hands in hers. “There’s just something about you that makes me feel...wonderful inside. It could be just the schoolgirl crush coming back, but...” she trailed off not able to figure out what to say.
“Schoolgirl crush?” Remus asked, looking up at her. And for once he witnessed the first true smile that she gave along with a blush.
“Yeah. You were the DADA teacher when I was in my third year,” Hermione said.
“And you had a crush on me?”
Hermione’s cheeks burned with embarrassment, looked away from him, and dropped his hands. “I was thirteen, and you were, well, older. It’s nonsense really. Not like that,” Hermione said, quickly adding the last part after seeing the hurt look on Remus’ face. “It was just, that, well, it was nonsense when I was thirteen. I mean, you were older than me then.”
“About a good 20 years older than you,” Remus whispered.
“You could say that.”
They stood there in silence. Hermione walked over to the window and stared at the majestic sky. It was cloudy, but the waxing gibbous moon shown brightly through two clouds.
“About four more days,” Hermione said, breaking the silence, hugging herself again.
Remus’ head snapped up looking at the window she was at. She was correct. The moon was waxing, almost to the full moon. He knew that she knew him in her time, and that he was what he was. But he didn’t understand why she talked freely about it, like it was civil. Twenty years couldn’t have change society’s feelings about his kind that much.
‘But yet, she said she had a crush on you. So maybe she understands. Also the fact that she kissed you before, and if she knew, she wouldn’t have trusted you,’ Remus thought.
He walked over towards her and put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly at his warm touch. He meant well and was awfully kind to her.
“I should get back to the common room,” Hermione said. “It’s getting late, and I really don’t want to get into trouble.”
“I’ll walk you back, that way if Filch catches you I can cover you,” Remus said, grabbing her hand.
“Filch? Great, just to make my day even better,” Hermione said sarcastically but gave him a smile. “But thanks for the protection.”
Remus returned her smile. “Shall we go now?” He offered his elbow to her and she took it. Remus took a hold of the lantern that was suspended and blew it out. He sat it down on the floor and they started to walk out of the library.
Hermione heard the curtains being pulled back from her four-poster bed. She squinted and rolled over to her other side. “Go away,” Hermione grumbled. She hated being woke up.
“Not a morning person, are you?” Hermione heard Lily say.
“No,” Hermione griped. She pulled her comforter over her head, but Lily just pulled it back.
“I think you would if you weren’t out late,” Lily protested. “Dumbledore got your books for you since you didn’t get them.” She smiled at Hermione.
Hermione blinked her eyes, uncovered herself, swung her legs to the side of the bed and sat up. She rubbed her face with her hands and looked sleepily at Lily. “I had to think,” she replied.
“You came in with Remus,” another voice piped in. Hermione looked over where the voice came from. She saw a round face girl with strawberry blonde hair in a French twist. It was a young Alice Longbottom, pre-torture, pre-St. Mungo’s. A happy and healthy Mrs. Longbottom, but her maiden name was Prewett. Hermione couldn’t believe that Neville was related to Ron.
“He found me in the corridor and walked me back so I won’t get into any trouble,” Hermione said, getting out of bed. She didn’t feel like explaining what really happened last night. It was confusing for both her and Remus.
“Yeah only because he likes you,” Alice said, finishing her hair with the last bobby pin. “There it should stay.”
“Alice, you’re just jealous that Remus likes her,” Lily stated as she pulled her sweater vest over her head.
“That was five years ago, Evans. I’m with Frank now.”
“Doesn’t matter. You still want to be with Remus,” Lily said, looking at her strawberry blonde friend with a coy smile on her face.
“True, but I love Frank and Frank loves me,” Alice said thoughtfully.
Hermione laughed. It was just to funny to think that Neville’s father could have been Remus. But then, if he ever were, it would be even weirder for her to be back in this time.
“What’s so funny?” Alice inquired, a little anger was in her eyes.
“Nothing. It has nothing to do with you or Frank,” Hermione giggled as she took off her pajamas. She put on her bra, pulled on her blouse, and she buttoned it up. “Just the thought of Remus actually dating a girl.”
Alice’s face relaxed. “True. He never really did talk to any girl. Until you came along,” she said, smiling mischievously.
“You two were out until 2 a.m.!” Lily exclaimed.
“Never had any thought in that,” Hermione said as she pulled on her skirt, zipped it up, tucked in her blouse, and tied her gold and scarlet tie. “He’s a nice guy and very talkative, especially on Muggle authors.”
“Never thought you were the type to be a Muggle reader,” Alice said thoughtfully.
“I am Muggle born,” Hermione said, pulling on her knee-high socks.
“You too?” Lily asked.
“Yeah. Mom and Dad are both dentists,” Hermione said, putting her books in the backpack.
“Cool,” Alice said excitedly.
Hermione just shrugged, tied her shoes, and started to walk towards the door, when Lily called to her. “What are you gonna do with your hair?”
“Ponytail?”
“I don’t think so. Maybe a French braid. What do you think Alice?”
“A loose one with wisps of hair around her face,” Alice inserted her opinion. Lily took out her wand and waved it. Hermione felt her hair being braided.
“Thanks girls,” Hermione said sarcastically.
Lily and Alice just smiled at her. They grabbed their schoolbags and followed Hermione down the stairs.
“Lily, may I ask why you stay in our dormitory when you have you’re Head one?” Hermione posed as the three girls walked down the stairs.
“You try to share a bathroom and common room with Potter and his friends,” Lily answered. “Besides, I don’t trust Prewett with any of the roomies.”
"Evans, I haven't killed one yet," Alice exclaimed smiling.
The girls reached the bottom of the staircase and Hermione spotted Remus with James, Sirius, and Peter. She turned around and wanted to go back upstairs. She really didn't want to talk to him right at that moment, but Lily and Alice stopped her. “You have to face him sometime you know,” Lily whispered in her ear. Hermione turned around and took a deep breath. Her eyes met Remus’ and he smiled at her. She returned his smile with a weak one, and Remus frowned.
“Hey Evans, what did the new girl do to you to grab her arm?” Sirius asked. “Did she steal your grades?”
“Black, I have no time for you,” Lily said heatedly.
“Padfoot, leave her alone,” Remus stated. He looked into Hermione’s eyes, trying to tell her something.
“Moony, why don’t you ask her already,” James said, pushing Remus towards Hermione.
“Ask me what?” Hermione requested, interested what Remus would want to ask her since she last saw him early that morning.
“Nothing. It wasn’t my idea, Sirius wanted me to...” Remus trailed off, looking at the ground. Lily elbowed Alice in the arm and nodded her head towards Remus.
“Remus, what is it that he wanted you to ask her?” Alice asked, smiling.
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
“Am not.”
“Are too,” James and Sirius said in unison. Peter’s head just went from person to person.
“Stop it,” Hermione said, throwing her hands in the air. Everyone looked at her. She grabbed Remus by the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him to a secluded area of the common room.
“What is it that he wanted you to ask me, Remus?” Hermione asked in a singsong voice, mocking Alice's question. She never mocked anyone, but Alice, it was just hard to resist. Remus laughed at her trying to be like Alice, a true laugh. Hermione smiled, happy that he was actually happy.
“It’s nothing really. He just wanted me to ask you if you would like to...”
“What? I couldn’t hear the last part,” Hermione asked. She leaned in more to hear him.
“To go to Hogsmead with me this weekend.”