“And so then, if you’ll believe it, she just comes really really close to me, speaking all sexy and stuff, and… and she tells me if I don’t leave her alone, she’ll shrink my… my…” James trailed off, looking hopelessly at his friends. “I mean, that is just low.”
“Way below the belt,” agreed Sirius. “And I meant that literally.”
“You know, Prongs, I was thinking. What if you did leave her alone?” asked Remus after a while.
James stared at him as if he were crazy. “Are you kidding me?”
Remus shrugged. “Not really. I mean, you’ve been chasing after her for, what, three years?”
“Give or take…”
“Exactly. And what did you get?”
“Is that a trick question?”
“No, Prongs. I’m serious. You got nothing. She still won’t talk to you, she still yells at you, for God’s sake! Give her a break. It can’t hurt. I mean, it can’t honestly get any worse than this, can it?”
Sirius and James looked at each other, thoughtfully. James had never even considered abandoning his pursuit as an option. It was simply crazy. Pointless.
He and Sirius exchanged glances again, and Sirius voiced what James was thinking. “Moony, mate, how many times have I told you to lay off any suspicious-looking substance Prongs gives you?”
Remus looked at him in frustration. “But don’t you get it? James will never get anywhere this way! He should just leave her alone for a while, see how she reacts. I mean, I’m positive it’ll work!”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Coming from a guy who’s still single…”
“Whatever. Just forget I said anything, okay?” said Remus.
“Yeah, like we always do whenever you say something,” answered James. “I think I’ll ask her again next lesson.”
After a couple more weeks passed, however, James was actually starting to see Moony’s idea under a whole new light. Didn’t all the girls tell him he was the most charming and sexy guy they’d ever met? Didn’t they tell him that no one in their right mind would ever think of rejecting him? Was he or was he not Hogwarts’ Number One Hottie?
Well then why, why would the only one girl that mattered not want to go out with him? Actually, scratch that, why wouldn’t Lily Evans even want to be seen talking to him?
Long ago he’d come to the conclusion that Lily was special, that she was perfect, that she was the one. Now, after three years of vain attempts, he’d also come to the conclusion she was downright mad. He was James Potter, for God’s sake! And he loved her!
Did he really, though? He knew what he felt for Lily wasn’t just some silly infatuation. But maybe Remus was right. Maybe James only wanted Lily because she was a challenge. Because she was the one girl he couldn’t have.
He stopped himself in mid-thought. He was starting to sound like Moony. What was he doing analyzing his Evans Obsession when he could be out there trying to make his wildest fantasies about her come true?
He jumped out of his bed, raced to the bathroom, kicked Sirius out of it (“I wasn’t done choosing whichever side of my face looks more appealing yet!”) and tried to get ready in the shortest possible amount of time. He then pulled on his robes and ran down to the Great Hall.
Lily and her friends, one Alice Henderson and his cousin, Helen, were already there, sitting one end of the long House Table. James quickly made his way towards them, stopping here and there to wave at his friends and admirers. He sat down right across from Lily.
“Good morning, Helen, Alice,” he said, nodding to each of them in turn. “And good morning to you, my beautiful flower! How are you today?”
Lily rolled her eyes, while her friends seemed to be hiding smiles. “I was doing great up till now.”
“Well, I know one thing that would put you in a good mood!” said James enthusiastically.
The redhead groaned. “If it involves me and you in the same room then I don’t want to hear it.”
James looked a bit put out but immediately recovered. “So I presume a quick snog before Charms starts would be out of the question?”
“Potter, I only just had breakfast, don’t make me vomit,” she replied coolly, looking repulsed.
“Can I ask you a question?” asked James, taking another stab at conversation.
“Not if it’s about the same things as before.” She paused for a moment. “Actually, no, I don’t want to hear it anyway. We’re in a bit of a hurry,” she added hastily.
“Come on, Evans, just one question? Please?”
But she had already gotten up and stormed out of the Great Hall, closely followed by her friends. Helen only had time to shrug and whisper, “Better luck next time, James!”
James groaned. And when he saw Sirius, Remus and Peter make their way toward him, he felt even worse.
“So, Evans is really falling for you, isn’t she?” asked Sirius, with his usual bark-like laugh.
“Ha ha. Very funny.”
“I told you you should just leave her alone, Prongs! But do you listen to me?” asked Remus, sitting down next to him.
“When do we ever?” asked Sirius, helping himself to some toast.
“I can’t leave her alone, Remus, I just can’t! It’s just… whenever I see her I have this urge to… to…”
“… make a complete ass of yourself?” supplied Peter helpfully.
“No. To ask her out… to try to make her fall in love with me,” finished James.
“Yeah, well, it’s not working very well, is it? I mean, whenever you do that, Evans always has this urge to… how shall I put this nicely?... puke…” said Sirius.
James glared at him. “Remind me again why I chose you as my best friend?”
Sirius grinned. “Because I am the best.”
“Says who?” asked James, looking weary.
Sirius scoffed. “Prongs, not only does the Sirius Black fan club exist, but they’ve actually created a Sirius Black doll for all my fans around Britain.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “My, my, this country is really going to the dogs…”
Sirius shrugged again, and helped himself to more toast.
“There’s got to be a way to sweep her of her feet…” said James thoughtfully.
“I thought you were going to try with your Potter Charm again?” asked Sirius curiously.
“It’s not really working, is it?” asked James glumly.
“Nope.” He paused. “Wait a moment, what happened to your theory that Lily was only playing hard-to-get? You finally realized she can’t stand you?”
“Padfoot, get a girlfriend,” muttered James.
“I already have one, unlike you,” he said smugly.
“Then go snog her, I really don’t think I’ll be able to resist the urge to curse you any longer…”
Sirius shook his head. “You know, you really need a girlfriend.”
James breathed deeply. He really didn’t want to go to Azkaban at seventeen. “Sirius, what do you think I’m trying to do with Lily?!”
“I know, but I think we’ve already figured out she hates you. Just move on, mate! The sea is full of fish, and Hogwarts is full of beautiful girls! How about Moriah Newton? She’s really pretty!”
James looked stunned. “Move on? Move on?! Sirius, haven’t you been listening? I love Lily! How could I just move on?!” he said, angrily, spitting the words cruelly.
“Yeah, well, she doesn’t exactly seem to be holding out for you, does she?” said Sirius.
“What do you mean?” asked James, immediately attentive.
Sirius nodded his head toward the door of the Great Hall. Apparently, Lily hadn’t left after all. She was chatting nonchalantly with Darcy Plummet, a Gryffindor seventh year, who actually had a hand on her shoulder.
James involuntarily crushed the pasty he was holding. He had never liked Darcy. James knew he was probably a nice guy, but he also knew Darcy liked Lily very much. Heck, they always went to Hogsmeade together! ‘Just as friends,’ according to them, but the thing still looked pretty fishy to James.
He was about to get up. Plummet’s hand had no business whatsoever on Lily’s shoulder. Just as he was pushing back his chair, Remus put his hand on James’s shoulder, forcing him to remain seated. “Don’t, Prongs.”
“What?! Why not? That slimy git needs to take his filthy hand off her!”
Remus stared intently at him. “She’s not your girlfriend, Prongs. Yet,” he added hastily, seeing the murderous look in his friend’s eyes. “If she likes Darcy then, well, let them at it…” Once again, he plunged on, as James’s face was actually starting to scare him, “because, you know, she’ll find out you’re better than him, anyway.”
Sirius scoffed. “What? And how, may I ask? I mean, Darcy is bright, he’s a nerd, just like Miss Evans over there, he’s quite good looking, from what my girls tell me, and, in case you haven’t noticed, they actually talk instead of yelling and snapping and threatening…”
Remus rolled his eyes. James glared. “Thanks, Padfoot.”
Sirius appeared oblivious to the sarcasm as he answered, “No problem, mate. Geez, dunno what Moony was thinking! And he’s supposed to be the smart one of the group…”
“It’s called ‘tact’, Sirius,” answered Remus, “something you lack completely.”
Sirius shrugged, got up from the table and went to join a pretty Hufflepuff sixth year for a quick snog before class.
James was running towards the Charms classroom. Sirius had succeeded in talking him into meeting Moriah before class, ‘to take his mind off his lack of love life’ (which hadn’t worked at all, because he kept thinking about Lily), and now he was horribly late. He skidded to a halt right in front of Professor Flitwick’s room, opened the door, and panted a silly excuse (“I’m sorry I’m late, Professor, I was busy with Head Duties”), all the while avoiding Lily’s gaze, who had opened her mouth as if to say something but apparently thought better of it.
“No matter, Mr. Potter, just take a seat,” said the tiny teacher enthusiastically.
Lily rolled her eyes, as if to say, “Honestly, this guy could get away with anything…”, but James ignored her and slumped into a seat at the back of the class, next to Sirius. His best friend grinned at him. “So?”
“It was terrible. I mean, Moriah’s hot and everything, but it’s just not the same…”
“How would you know? You’ve never snogged Evans, have you? Have you?!” asked Sirius, panicking that his best friend might not have shared with him some juicy details.
“No, no… but, you know, I was just thinking of Lily the whole time, so, really, I didn’t really enjoy it that much. And neither did she, I’m sure,” finished James.
Sirius grinned smugly. “Told ya I deserve to be Hogwarts’ Number One Hottie. I never got a complaint, myself.”
James rolled his eyes. “You’re missing the point.”
“What point? That you can’t kiss?” asked Sirius, laughing.
“Padfoot, really, I’m not in the mood.”
“Will you two shut up? Some people are actually trying to listen,” whispered Remus, from the seat beside James.
“Oh yeah?” asked Sirius. “Like who? You?”
“No. Lily,” said Remus, jerking his head toward the redhead, who was looking daggers at the three of them.
James followed the direction, saw her and grinned cheekily before shutting up completely.
Sirius shook his head sadly. “Honestly, this girl is ruining my favorite Marauder…”
And with that, he took out his Quick Quotes Quill (he couldn’t actually waste his time taking notes!) and put his head on his arms, tuning Professor Flitwick out. He was snoring within two minutes, while Remus shook his head, with a look full of pity and concern.
A/N: well, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of writing this plea: REVIEW!! I know you people are reading this, just please please leave a review to let me know what you think!! By the way I would like to thank everyone who did review, because I really appreciate, and especially Lexy Granger, who reviewed each chapter of this story and was the one responsible (thanks to the reviews) of making me decide to quit wasting my time watching tv and get this chapter done. Thank you!!