After Ron was rescued from the secret room, he hadn't been the least bit sane. He was acting like Hermione had been acting, only dumber if that was even possible. Once he had stopped doing the chicken dance, he had seized a fruit bowl on a nearby table, placed it on his head, and started doing the Conga. Harry was yelling at the top of his lungs for him to stop but nothing was getting through; it was a lot like talking to a shoe, only a dancing shoe. Not long after Harry and Ron entered did Fred, George, and Hermione come in laughing and talking loudly. Fred and George spotted Ron doing his solitary Conga and they rushed to join in. Harry threw his arms up in frustration and plopped down on the couch. Suddenly, a loud farting noise ripped through the air as Fred, George, Ron, and even Hermione collapsed onto the ground and went into violent fits of laughter.
Harry jumped up rather quickly and pulled up the couch cushion but there was no Whoopee Cushion to be found. The four of them started to laugh louder as Harry searched for the source of the noise but was unsuccessful. "Maybe it was actually you, Harry," shouted Fred, who was very red in the face and still laughing hysterically. "You should probably lay off the beans and broccoli," shouted George, who was also doubled over with laughter. Ron was laughing so hard that milk was shooting out of his nose like a small geyser.
"Where is the milk coming from?!" Harry thought to himself as he continued his frantic search. "And where in the world is that whoopee cushion!!!???"
Judging by their ever-increasing laughter, Harry figured they could see it and he couldn't. He reached for the only other place it could be and felt it stuck to his behind. He tore it off and threw it onto the floor with a loud grunt and then he waited for another twenty minutes until the laughter was reduced to giggles and snickers.
He stormed over to Fred and George, who were fanning themselves off and wiping away the tears in their eyes.
"How … when did you do this?" Harry demanded, pointing to the deflated whoopee cushion.
"When you were leaving the room." Said Fred in between snickers.
"We put a sticking charm on it and then launched it at you," said George, unable to keep a straight face. "That's what you get for ruining the party, you git."
"Why are you even here?" Harry asked. "Didn't you two leave Hogwarts already?"
"Yeah," Fred said matter-of-factly. "But we always like to come back to have a good time."
Harry noticed the badges on their chests and remembered Luna's.
"Where did you get those badges," he said, "and what do they mean?"
Fred and George looked at him as if he had corn growing out of his ears.
"They're VIP badges, you twit. Can't you read? See look," Fred pointed to each letter as if he were a kindergarten teacher teaching him the alphabet. "V-I-P. Now say it with me … "
Fred looked at Harry expectantly. Harry just stood there, arms crossed and lips pressed tightly together. He was in no mood for games.
Seeing Harry's face George piped in. "Alright, alright, we'll tell you. Everybody gets one of these little babies (he shined it with his sleeve as he spoke) when they've been in the secret room over 200 times."
"Or if you're exceptionally crazy," Fred added with a mad glint in his eye.
"Crazy? What does that have to do with it?" Harry asked, his frustration growing.
Fred rolled his eyes. "Oh right, like you've never heard about it before. Just think, the famous Harry Potter not knowing about the greatest place at Hogwarts. What a laugh! Good one, Harry."
"I'm not joking!" Harry shouted.
"Yeah, right," said George. "We're going back to our store," he said as he and Fred walked over toward the portrait hole. "Keep working on your routine Harry, it's very funny." With that they disappeared through the door as the painting swung shut behind them.
Harry grunted and walked back over to the couch where Hermione and Ron sat. Ron was still humming the chicken dance song and Hermione was asleep, of course. Ignoring Hermione, Harry attempted to communicate with Ron.
"Ron? Hello?" Harry stared at him with concern. Ron was looking right at him but he really wasn't seeing him; he was off in another world. Harry was beginning to think that he had left his brain back in the room. His eyes were sort of glazed-over, a look he often got when he was trying hard to remember something.
Harry was waving his hands in front of Ron's face but there was still no response. He even clapped his hands several times but all he got was a half blink and a barely audible "Losers rule."
"Don't worry about him, he'll be okay by tomorrow." Hermione had woken up from Harry's claps and had lines on her face from where she had been leaning her head. She still smelled strongly of punch and her face still had a pinkish hue to it. Harry wasn't convinced judging by Ron's condition and Hermione's recent stupidity.
Giving up on Ron, he turned to Hermione.
"Will you please tell me exactly what that was?"
Hermione merely laughed. "I don't know exactly what it was, I only discovered it this morning. But I will tell you one thing: It was absolutely brilliant."
Harry frowned. Brilliant was probably the worst possible adjective to describe it.
"Well, I'm going to bed," Hermione said, rising and yawning. "You should probably help him along." She pointed to Ron, who was now drooling slightly.
She then skipped over towards the staircase and began to sing. "Voldemort and Harry, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-" *THUD!* She was halfway up the stairs when she fell asleep. Harry rolled his eyes and stood up, taking Ron by the arm as he went. He guided Ron, who was faintly singing the song Hermione had been singing, to the stairs and stepped over the unconscious Hermione as they went to the dorm. He pulled Ron all the way to his bed, where Harry left him so he could change. After Harry had changed, he walked over to Ron who was attempting to put his pants on his head.
When they were all settled, Harry helped Ron into his bed and then climbed into his own warm bed. Ron was still singing for a good ten minutes until he fell silent and then began to snore. Harry lay in his bed thinking for a long time after Ron had fallen asleep. "Why is everyone crazy? And why is it not affecting me?" He thought as his eyes drooped from exhaustion. Still very confused, he fell asleep shortly after he heard Hermione finally finish her ascent up the stairs and slam the girls' dorm door behind her.