As he left Dumbledore's office, followed closely by McGonagall, Ron, and Hermione, Harry felt that he had gained no useful information. He still had no idea how to return Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the school back to normal and now he had a new question on his mind. What does this secret room have to do with him? He would have found this out if it weren't for Dumbledore's random and unexpected potty break. They all waited for him to come back from the bathroom but after a good half an hour, it was clear that he wasn't coming back, or that he had fallen in the toilet. McGonagall had even brought up the fact that there was no bathroom inside his office and that the room he had entered had been his sleeping quarters. So either Dumbledore was currently defecating onto his own bed or he had given them the slip. Even though Harry didn't want to believe the latter of the two, he had never been in a situation where Dumbledore had intentionally abandoned him to avoid further interrogation.
If Harry hadn't been so deep in thought he would have noticed that Ron and Hermione had again skipped away from him and around a corner where a loud crash echoed through the halls. The crash seemed to bring him back to his senses and he looked around at McGonagall who also appeared to be deep in thought.
"Professor? What just happened back there?" Harry asked, rather timidly. She looked like she would attack if she were disturbed.
"I don't want to talk about it, Potter," she said rather quickly. "Just go gather your friends and head to the Great Hall for lunch." She was now walking rather briskly.
"But Professor, you saw what happened back there, that wasn't normal, not even for Dumbledore. And I know you know what happened with Slytherin or else you wouldn't have made that comment. I need some more answers. This is driving me mad!" Harry had stopped her by standing in front of her, blocking her path.
She surveyed him for a few seconds with her beady eyes. "Fine Potter, but not here. I do not want our conversation to be overheard." She looked very strained.
"Alright then, where should we talk?" They started to walk again.
"Meet me in my office after dinner and I will answer a few of your questions but I must warn you not to bring anyone with you or you will suffer the consequences. I don't want anyone else to find out about this room, do you understand me?"
Harry nodded. "What about Ron and Hermione? What happens if they tell people about it?"
"Just try to keep them from doing so, Potter. I trust you can handle your own friends," she said, very exasperated.
"That might be more difficult than you would imagine," said Harry as they rounded the corner and spotted Hermione and Ron. Hermione was on the floor asleep and Ron was accusing a nearby wall of throwing a sleeping draught at her. McGonagall rolled her eyes and quickly hurried over to Ron and pulled him away from the wall in which he was now punching and kicking.
"This is more…serious than I…thought," she yelled as she held the squirming and loudly cursing Ron away from the wall. "I need to send a few…owls out this afternoon. Just try to keep this a…secret as best you can, Potter and remember to…meet me after dinner." With that, she handed the jolting Ron over to Harry and hurried off down the hall toward her office, wildly fanning her face.
Harry managed to calm Ron down by saying that an evil spirit had possessed the wall and it wasn't thinking straight. It was the only thing that he would believe. Ron apologized to the wall and bowed to it as Harry picked Hermione up, revived her and continued on down the hall. As they reached the Great Hall, it was empty except for Dumbledore, who was sitting in his usual throne-like chair looking expectantly down at his plate. Harry walked Ron and Hermione to their seats and then he began to move toward Dumbledore. He really wanted to know why he claimed he had to use the restroom and had left him sitting there in his office. However as he approached the table, Dumbledore spotted him and did what Harry hadn't expected at all. Upon seeing Harry, he gasped, dived under the teacher's table, crawled on his hands and knees to the closest door, and disappeared behind it. Harry stood speechless, his mouth hanging open in shock. He was avoiding him. But why was he avoiding him? The bell rang just outside of the hall and footsteps and scraping chairs were heard above them; the students were headed for lunch.
Harry's face was burning with anger as he turned back to Hermione and Ron who were both on top of the table and doing what suspiciously looked like Riverdance. Harry ran towards them and hastily pulled them off of the table so as not to be seen. However, just as Harry pulled them both down, Ron broke free of his grip and jumped on top of the table again and screamed "Voldemort loves Harry!!!!"
The sound echoed through the otherwise silent hall and Harry was positive that the whole school had to have heard it. Harry jumped onto the table and began to chase Ron up and down, all the while knocking plates and goblets over in their wake and sending them crashing onto the floor. Harry kept quickly glancing at the door to check if people were there but luckily no one had appeared yet. Ron picked up a large vase filled with flowers and water and threw the contents into Harry's face and laughed madly as he danced just out of his grip. While Harry struggled to clear the water and flower petals out of his eyes, Ron found a flowered centerpiece that was three times bigger than he was, placed it atop his head, and started jumping violently up and down on the table causing everything on top of it to fall over and break. Finally Ron slipped on some water that was spilled from another flower vase and Harry caught him as he struggled to keep his balance. He had a tough time restraining him with only one arm as his other was wrapped tightly around his mouth to keep him from screaming "Voldemort loves Harry" over and over again. Hermione just sat there watching the two of them struggle; Harry felt the urge to give her a good kick and he would have done so if he hadn't known that she was currently out of her mind.
When he had finally pulled Ron onto the floor and then onto his seat, Harry wrenched his shoe off of his foot and shoved it into Ron's hand. (He remembered the look on his face when he had stolen Hermione's shoe outside of Dumbledore's office) Ron went instantly still and started stroking the shoe as if to calm it from all of the noise. Exhausted but relieved, Harry pulled out his wand and muttered "Reparo" as all of the broken dishes and cups flew back onto the table where they landed looking as perfect as they did before the three of them had entered the hall. As soon as the last cup repaired itself and slid back into place, the ocean of bustling students loudly filled the Great Hall, chattering about who knows what. Harry sat slightly out of breath, staring at his plate and hoping that he wasn't heard and that he didn't look too guilty. But the student's noisy entrance signaled that no one heard anything out of the ordinary. If they had heard something they probably would have thought it was just Peeves.
As the hall filled around him, Harry turned to Ron and tried to take his shoe back from him but his grip was strong and every time he would pull on it, Ron would start to scream. Harry ceased his attempt, happy that the hall was too noisy to hear Ron's screams. As his fellow Gryffindors took their seats, they stared at the trio as if they had twenty heads. Harry understood why they were looking at them like that: Harry was dripping wet with stems and flower petals in his hair, Ron was soothing and cradling Harry's shoe, and Hermione was still staring expressionless at the spot where Harry had finally captured Ron as if they were still there.
Seamus who was sitting across from them was the first one to speak up. "Harry. What's wrong with you three? First transfiguration, now this?"
"Er…long night of studying," his voice sounded unnaturally high. "Can you pass the scones?"
* * *
Lunch had been very…odd to say the least. Ron never touched his food, which is very strange for him, he did however start to sing to Harry's shoe and Harry was forced to let him do so because whenever he tried to take it away he would start to scream much louder. Hermione finally looked somewhere other than up in the air and had started eating but after a while she got up from the table and started asking people if they had seen her chicken. She finally stopped when she passed out and fell asleep onto a nearby Ravenclaw's lap who hastily pushed her down onto the floor out of embarrassment. After that little episode, everyone within earshot of the Gryffindor table was staring at them with raised eyebrows. Harry decided that it was time to leave; it was only another twenty minutes until the start of the next class.
As he dragged Ron and Hermione out of the hall and towards the common room, Harry's stomach did a back flip. He remembered what class they had next: Potions…wait it gets worse…with the Slytherins. He could only imagine what would happen if Snape saw Ron and Hermione acting like idiots, and to imagine what Malfoy would say if he saw them the way they were. But then he remembered that Snape had been in the secret room too, and he was acting completely insane. Maybe he would be too out of his own mind to notice. He felt slightly relieved but he still had Malfoy to worry about; he hadn't seen him in the secret room at all. As they entered the common room Harry let go of Ron and Hermione and plopped down in front of the fire. He knew that in a few more minutes, he would be laughed out of Snape's classroom because Hermione would be asleep and snoring and Ron would be recreating his famous chicken dance scene.
But then a wonderful idea hit him like a brick. He glanced over to Ron and Hermione who were acting like chickens and pecking at the ground for imaginary food and thought to his self, "I'll just sneak out without them. Sure they'll miss potions class but it's not like they'll absorb anything right now while their brains are functioning like they are made of Swiss cheese. Plus it'll save me some embarrassment."
With the plan in mind, he gathered his books, got up out of his chair and found a large tin of Fizzing Whizzbies. He walked over to Ron and Hermione who were taking turns jumping off a table attempting to fly with their hands tucked under their armpits and their elbows waving up and down frantically. He then put himself close enough to the portrait hole so that he could make a run for it and then threw the contents of the tin all over them. Just as Harry expected, they ceased their attempts at flight and scattered in all directions, pecking at all of the spilled Fizzing Whizzbies like it was birdseed. Harry then ran through the hole and didn't stop running until he reached the hallway leading to potions class.
He was feeling incredibly relieved until he rounded the last corner and spotted a group of Slytherins gathered around the door. They were speaking in hushed tones and of course as usual, Malfoy was in the middle of it all. As soon as Harry was within earshot of the crowd, they ceased their conversation immediately as if they were waiting for him. Crabbe and Goyle both tightened their fists with a sickening crunching noise as they spotted Harry, and Pansy Parkinson gave him a dirty look that made her appear twice as ugly.
The crowd parted and Malfoy stepped forward, his mouth was curling into an evil sneer.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the famous Potter boy coming to ruin the party."
"What are you talking about Malfoy?" Harry asked looking straight into Malfoy's eyes.
"I know you found the room, Potter…and you better not tell on us like a little baby…or there will be serious consequences." He looked absolutely serious. He usually would smile when threatening Harry as if he found it highly amusing but he wasn't smiling this time; he looked positively murderous.
This, however, was far from frightening to Harry. He knew that he could beat Malfoy any day of the week, even if he was sick. "Well, Malfoy, it isn't really up to you who I talk to or what I talk about, now is it? You're probably just going to run home and tell your daddy all about it and he'll…oh wait, your daddy is in Azkaban."
It happened faster than a flash of lightning. Both Harry and Malfoy drew their wands and were in the midst of cursing each other when Snape appeared out of nowhere and stepped in between the two of them. Both curses hit him and he suddenly was sporting a pair of pink bunny ears and a matching pink tail.
Everyone except for Harry and Malfoy collapsed onto the floor, laughing hysterically. Harry had sent a curse that was meant to enlarge Malfoy's ears and Malfoy had sent a curse to turn Harry completely pink. The mixing of the spells caused Snape to grow a pink fuzzy tail and fuzzy ears. Snape looked absolutely horrified and no matter what he tried, he could not get them to disappear. Feeling embarrassed, he hurriedly hopped away down the hall and disappeared around the corner.
"You're lucky, Potter." Said Malfoy still looking deadly serious. "Next time I'll get you…alone."
With that he stormed down the hall followed closely by the other Slytherins who were still laughing very loudly. Harry waited until he couldn't hear their laughter anymore and ran quickly up to the common room. He breathlessly mumbled the password "Cabbage!" and scrambled inside to find Ron and Hermione curled up on the floor asleep atop of a pile of Fizzing Whizzbies and cradling a dozen feather quills each.
He plopped down on the same chair in front of the fire and tossed his books aside. He sat and thought about what had just happened, hoping that Snape wouldn't mention it to anyone out of embarrassment but also feeling incredibly happy that he caused Snape some humiliation. He laughed slightly to himself and felt very grateful that he now had some time to think about questions to ask McGonagall tonight.