Chapter 5
Every step Ron took felt like a stab in his chest. He couldn't hear it. It'd only make it more real. Thankfully, it was late when he left Dumbledore's office, and he didn't run into anyone. He didn't want to go back to his dormitory. Being Head Boy guaranteed him his own room, but he knew that sooner or later, Harry would go looking for him, and bang on his door until he opened it. At that moment, he couldn't face Harry. Of course, Harry could find Ron wherever he went in the castle with the Marauder’s Map, but he'd buy as much time as possible.
He didn't know where he was going until he saw the stands of the Quidditch pitch. He walked to the benches and looked into the sky. It was the beginning of February, and although it was still quite cold, the sky was clear. In a little over a week, it'd be Valentine's Day, and they'd have a Hogsmeade weekend to celebrate it. It was also to be the first time Ron and Hermione would go on a date. Ron had spent days rehearsing a little speech in his head to say to Hermione when asking her, and aside from the 'Hermione, can I talk to you?' part, what he had said to her had absolutely nothing to do with what he’d planned. After that day, they had acted awkward around each other. No, awkward wasn't exactly the word; bashful would be more like it. They'd blush, sometimes stutter, and smile shyly at one another. Harry would look at them in amusement, and shake his head.
They had been walking in circles for so long that Ron couldn't take it any longer. He needed to know if she felt the same way or not. His insecurities made it so difficult to him to approach her, that when he finally got up the courage to ask, and she had said yes, he thought he would burst.
He would never have his date now. Looking back, it was really too good to be true. When had life been fair to him? Even as the thought crossed his mind, he felt guilty for it. He knew it was unfair of him to think that. He was suffering from a broken heart, yes, and he had every right to be angry right now, but what Hermione was going through was much more difficult. Knowing in the same night that you were adopted, destined to have a child with your best friend, and that at any minute a psychopath could find out who you really are and come looking for you is really the worst part of the deal. He would trade with her anytime if he could spare her the pain.
He heard footsteps close by, and without taking his eyes from the stars he said, "Not now, Harry."
"It's not Harry."
His father's voice startled him. Of course he would come. His mother was probably freaking out by now, and his father had come to talk to him instead.
"Did you hear it?" Ron asked quietly. As much as he didn't want to know the words, he did want to hear his father's opinion; if he thought Dumbledore was right.
"No, right after you left, I came looking for you. I saw you heading for the Quidditch pitch. Unfortunately, I'm getting too old to keep up with you these days."
Ron gave his father a wan smile, and went back to look at the stars. Maybe it'd be easier to talk if he didn't have to look at his father. And he really needed someone that could hear him, and maybe help him deal with what he was feeling. On any other day, it'd have been Harry, but how could he confide his feelings to Harry now?
"I didn't say anything so I wouldn’t jinx it, and wouldn’t get Mum’s hopes up, but I asked Hermione out a few days ago. We'd have had our first date next weekend."
"Ron, I know you are confused right now. And you are probably thinking that this prophecy means that you and Hermione can never be together, but I don't want you to give up on her like that. It's not right."
Ron had never heard his father put that much feeling in his voice when talking to him. Growing up in a huge family sometimes diluted the attention your parents gave you. Especially his father, who had to work hard during the day, and had only the nights to spend with his seven children.
"Dad, I know what you're trying to do, but I won't fight for Hermione knowing that it has no future. It’ll only make all of us suffer in the end."
"You don't know that, Ron."
"Yeah, I do."
After a few minutes, his father said, "A prophecy can't make two people fall in love with each other, Ron. It's not that simple."
"Don't you think I know that? And I know they are not in love with each other right now, but who's to say they won't be in a year or so? I’m sure they’d fight it in order to not hurt me, but you can’t control these things. And where would that leave me?" The lump in his throat was growing with each word. He never understood how much Hermione meant to him until now. He knew he liked her a lot, but what he was feeling was so much more than what he’d thought he'd ever feel for a girl. He shouldn't be feeling so much at the age of seventeen. But then, he was forced to grow up sooner than most of his classmates. It shouldn't be so farfetched that it'd be also sooner that he would find…well, he couldn't find another word to describe it, but love. He wondered if he'd ever get over it. If he, Harry and Hermione would ever be able to be friends again, like they used to be. He'd never abandon his friends. As long as Harry and Hermione needed him, he'd be there, but he couldn't imagine himself hanging around to see them building their life together. Not if he wanted to move on. It'd hurt too much.
"That is something that could happen independent of this prophecy. If you don't risk it, you'll never know."
"This prophecy is not only about Harry and Hermione, dad. It's about their baby. A baby! How much more serious could they be about each other if they'll have a child together?" His eyes searched his father's, and he saw that his father was suffering, too. Suffering for him. Trying to create a hope that Ron could hang on, and believe in to stop the pain. Ron wouldn't let himself hope. He'd give up on Hermione; Harry could make her happy, no matter how much that thought hurt. After the war, he'd find somewhere he could go and lick his wounds until he felt he was ready to move on. Only after he had recovered, and could face everyone again, would he come back to his family, and hopefully to his friends.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
His father put his arm around Ron's shoulders, bringing him closer. At that time, Ron forgot for a moment that he was already an adult, and let his head fall onto his father's shoulder. A tear escaped from his eyes. "I don't want to do this. I have to."
They stayed like that for a while in silence, before Ron heard someone approaching them. "Ron?"
End of chapter 5
A.N. Sorry about the delay. If it helps any, chapter 6 is already written and will be posted soon.
Many thanks to my betas Kedavra77 and Kjirstyn.