Chapter 8
Ron woke up the next day before dawn. He had only been able to fall asleep a couple of hours earlier, and his body protested at the lack of rest. As tired as he was, he knew it would be useless to try to go back to sleep. His mind was reeling from the events of the day before. The best thing to do would be to have an early start on his day. Maybe a walk outside before breakfast would help clear his mind.
He knew he'd have a very stressful day ahead of him. Ron didn't know how he'd act around his best friends now. He'd give anything to be able to take a few days for himself, to work things out on his own before having to face everyone again. He didn't want any more confrontations, but he knew it would be inevitable. He'd bet that by now, Ginny already knew everything and would want to talk to him. He was sure that Harry wouldn't give up so soon either. And then there was Hermione. Just the thought of her was enough to make his heart sink. He could only imagine what actually seeing and talking to her would make him feel.
One of the conclusions he reached the night before was that he didn't have the luxury of thinking about romance at this time, and how selfish he was being for worrying so much about how this prophecy affected his relationship with Hermione. There were so much more important things to think about. As hard as it'd be to put his feelings on the matter aside, Ron felt he'd have to. Above all, Hermione was his friend. Her safety was at risk, and he'd be damned if he'd wallow in misery and self pity while she needed him. He could pick up the pieces of his broken heart later, when it was safe for all of them. He'd be strong for Hermione.
He changed into his uniform, and left his dormitory. He didn't expect to find anyone in the common room, and was surprised when he saw his sister sitting on the couch in front of the fire.
“I talked to Hermione last night. I knew you would be up early today,” Ginny said while turning to face him.
“Yeah.” Ron took a seat beside her, but didn't say anything else.
“How are you feeling?”
Ron shrugged. “As well as can be expected. Look, Ginny. I don't think it'd be wise to talk about it here.”
“Don't worry about it. I took care of that. I put a charm on the stairs. If anyone but you, Harry or Hermione comes down I'll know.” Ginny took a deep breath and looked at her brother. “I know how you feel about Hermione, Ron. I think you should fight for her, prove to her that what you feel is true. She needs you right now, more than ever.”
He stayed quiet for a few minutes. “I thought about everything that happened yesterday, and I think there are more important things to worry about right now than my feelings. I won't let them get in the way of what needs to be done to ensure her safety. I won't leave her to fight this alone, Ginny. I could never do that.”
“What about Harry?”
Ron looked at her confused. “What do you mean?”
“I know you, Ron. I'm sure you'll start to see things where there are none. Every innocent gesture between them will serve to you as proof that you should stay away from her. It'll make you crazy with jealousy. You'll end up isolating yourself from your friends to try to avoid the pain you'll feel anytime they are close to each other. You'll get moody and snappish. And that will hurt everyone around you. Is that what you want?”
“That's rubbish, Ginny,” Ron said tightly, without meeting her eyes. His ears were starting to get red, and Ginny could see his jaw clenching.
“Is it? Can you honestly tell me that your feelings, your jealousy won't get in the way? I’ve seen you jealous before, Ron. It's not pretty.” Ginny was looking intently at him. She knew she'd have to get a reaction from him if she wanted to make him listen to her. This calm, collected and rational Ron was a bit scary, but she knew that he was faking it to protect himself. She felt awful for hurting her brother, when he was visibly in so much pain.
Ron stood up, clearly upset with his sister, and started pacing. “What do you want from me, Ginny? To stop feeling? If you know how to do that, tell me and I'll do it. If you can stop the pain, do it. Do you think it'll be easy for me? I'll do whatever I can to protect them both, to do what is right, and to control myself, but I can't promise it'll work all the time.”
Ginny got up from the couch and walked to her brother, taking his hands in hers, and looking in his eyes. “I'd never ask you to stop feeling, Ron. That's what makes you who you are. That's what I admire the most about you. I don't think I know anyone who feels as intensely as you do. And it makes me afraid to see you trying to bottle your feelings for Hermione now. It'll eat you inside. And avoiding a relationship with her will only hurt all three of you.”
“Don't you think I know that? I spent most of the night thinking about it. It's just...” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “... when you think about the big picture, about the future...what I'm trying to do is protect our friendship, Ginny. I don't want to lose what we have, and when the time comes for them to be together, it'll hurt so much more if Hermione has to leave me first. I don't think our friendship can survive that kind of rift.”
“What if this time never comes? What then, Ron?”
Ron's heart skipped a beat when he heard the hoarse voice of Hermione. He and Ginny turned around to look at her. She looked beat. She was pale with dark circles under her eyes. She had probably slept as much as Ron that night.
“Hermione...” he tried to say more, but the words wouldn't come.
“You don't know, do you? Ron, I understand that you're more inclined to believe than I am, but I want you to promise me that you'll think about it, really think about it, before making any decisions.”
Hermione suddenly looked around as if realizing that she was talking about it in the common room of all places. Ginny sensing her friend's distress, asured her. “It's okay, Hermione. I took care of the room. It's safe to talk.”
Hermione looked gratefully at her, before turning back to Ron. “I won't try to convince you of anything right now, Ron. I can't. There is just too much on my mind, and I know an argument with you would only serve to hurt us more at this time. I have to straighten my thoughts, but don't think for a minute that I'll give up on you.”
Ron couldn't help the half-smile that formed on his lips after Hermione's fierce words. He felt a warmth he thought he'd never feel again. For a moment he thought of forgetting everything and taking her in his arms. He swallowed hard, trying to force himself to think before doing what he really wanted to do. Gathering all his control, he said, “Now is not the time to think about those things, Hermione. We have much more to worry about.”
“You're right. There is more at risk right now, but you will promise me to think about it. I won't back down on that.”
Ron nodded relutanctly, and sighed. “All right, I promise I'll think about it.”
“Good.” She smiled at him, as if a weight was lifted from her shoulders. “I have an...appointment with...Professor McGonagall. I should be going.”
As she turned to leave, Ron stopped her. “Hermione, wait.” He walked to her, and took her hand in his. “I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always be your friend. And I'm here for you. I don't think I can imagine what you're feeling right now, but if you need me...” he trailed off, his ears red from embarassment.
Before Hermione could stop herself, she threw her arms around him. “I know, Ron. I know. Thank you.”
There was a quiver in her voice that broke Ron's heart all over again. He hugged her back tenderly, while trying to control his emotions. Before he could say anything, Hermione looked at him one last time, and walked out of the commom room.
Ron stayed looking at the portrait hole as if in a trance, until Ginny put her hand on his arm. “Ron?”
“What?” he said turning to his sister.
“You will think about what Hermione said, won't you?”
“You know I will, Ginny. I wouldn't break my promise. And besides, I don't think the topic will leave my head anytime soon. Might as well do what she asked.”
She smiled at him. “Just wanted to make sure. Shall we go to the Great Hall or do you want to wait for Harry?”
That was a good question. Ron didn't know if he'd rather wait for his best friend and risk having to have another conversation like the day before, or if it'd be best to avoid it for the time being. From the way things were going, he wouldn't be surprised if Snape stopped him, wanting to talk about his love life. Ron made a face at the image of having this kind of conversation with the Potions Master.
“I don't even want to know what you were thinking about to make a face like that.” Ginny said, trying lighten the mood.
“I assure you that you don't.”
“So...do we wait or go?”
“Let's wait,” Ron said, and moved back to the couch. “Harry must be coming down soon anyway. I don't think he slept any better than the rest of us.”
“There is someone coming down the stairs.” Ginny was looking at a band around her wrist. They waited until Seamus appeared at the door to the boys dormitories. When Seamus passed them, Ron asked him about his best mate.
“I don't think he slept very well this night. He was muttering, and trashing a lot. Nothing too bad, but enough to wake us up a couple of times. He was taking a shower when I left the room.”
“Thanks, Seamus.”
Seamus nodded to them and left. Ron was thinking hard about something, and trying to decide if he should talk about it with his sister or not.
“What?” Ginny asked him.
Ron chuckled softly. “I can't get anything past you, can I?”
“Of course not. Even if I didn't know you as well as I do, you can be pretty transparent most of the time.”
“I was wondering...” Ron hesitated for a moment. “Do you still... have feelings for Harry?”
Ginny looked down, a faint blush spreading on her face. She shrugged. “I don't know. Sometimes I think I do, but everything is so confusing. It's not like what you and Hermione have. I... I don't know, Ron.”
“It's okay, Ginny,” he said putting his arm around his sister's shoulders. “I always hoped that you and Harry would... you know?” He gestured as if trying to find the right words. “Get together someday. Now...” He sighed. “I don't want you to go through the same thing I am. I don't want you to be hurt by this, too. You don't deserve it, Ginny.”
“Neither do you. Or Harry, or Hermione. And I still think it's all rubbish in the end. Harry and Hermione together just don't fit.”
“They may not fit now, but who's to say that in a few years they won't?”
“You can't base your life in 'what if's, Ron. Who's to say they will? There is no guarantee either way.”
“Trelawney says, that's who.”
Ron was grateful when Ginny dropped the issue. She probably knew that it wouldn't get them anywhere, and he was glad for her sensibility. He felt her head on his shoulder and they stayed silent while they waited for Harry to show up. Ron was tired, his head was pounding and he wanted nothing more than forget, even if only for a few minutes, what was going on with him and his friends. As if being a target of a war wasn't enough. He knew, though, this was only the beginning. For now, he only wished he'd have a little time to prepare before having to talk about this all over again.
End of Chapter 8